Too much pressure

This is really personal and I went back and forth as to if I should post this. I don't know how to help. Maybe you ladies can offer some advice. So this is our 2nd official month TTC. And whenever we BD to conceive my DH can't execute. But has no problem when it's any other time. He has become very distraught. Kept wanting to try and try and try and finally I just could bear to see the pain in his eyes. I told him I would stop testing for O and that we would just BD whenever we wanted and if it happens it happens. That it doesn't matter. But I know to him and probably all men it DOES MATTER! Am I saying the wrong things? He admitted that he did feel pressure to "get this done". I don't want him to feel like that. Do you have any advice?

Re: Too much pressure

its probably very normal what your DH is going through. is there anyway you can track your o time on the down lo ..like maybe pinpoint it to a week and just get him to do it every other day around that time? no pressure..

im sure its very hard on him the thought of having to perform at a certain time to make a baby

lots of guys experience it!

Re: Too much pressure

The thing is I don't even "pressure" him to do it every other day. For example we BD on Sunday and then not again until yesterday. I kind of feel him out when we get home from work. And if I see that he's not "in the mood" I don't even broach the subject.

Re: Too much pressure

Are you telling him when you ovulate?

What is your BD schedule like?

Re: Too much pressure

Maybe don't even let him know when you are Oing.

I don't tell my DH when I am.....I just go for it!

I think it's normal for a guy to feel pressure as well. Maybe avoid the topic all together and see where it takes you.

Re: Too much pressure

Are you telling him when you ovulate? He knows that I use OPK's. Because every night he asks if I've POTS. Last month he was really sick right before and when I O'd so we didn't even BD at the right time

What is your BD schedule like? I try to start at cd8 and aim for everyother night. but last month it started at cd10 or 11 and was very random and this month started at cd9 and cd13.

Again I am not really scheduling it because I don't want to put pressure on him. I of course understand that this is not the optimum way to conceive but I am trying not to make it seem like work

Re: Too much pressure

Re: Too much pressure

****

Message edited 3/15/2012 3:11:18 PM.

Re: Too much pressure

This happened to my DH the first time I got a + opk. It was the first time we were trying to get prego and I think it freaked him out a bit. I stopped telling him and making it a chore. He's better now and we even talk about where I am in my cycle, etc.

I agree with the other girls just to come on to him when the time is right. If he asks if your ovulating just say we'll just have to wait and find out or something cute and flirty to get his mind off it.

And if all else fails, a little porn doesn't hurt!