Dr. Drama!!!! and what do you mean no sex for a month?

Ok, yesterday was awful! To start w/-- I am at 6 wks, 1 day.
I woke around 4 am to use the bathroom, went to wipe and saw a little blood. I started screaming and dh runs into the bathroom. I wanted to go to the hospital but dh reminded me I had a doc's appt at 2:30. I went in at 10 am instead. The doc was already annoyed b/c the computers were down. He finally comes in the exam room, takes samples to test for stds. ouch! then i had a list of ????s. He says wait, get dressed, come to my office.
We get to the office, off the bat he says no sex for a month b/c I saw spotting. Dh was shocked, I'm glad he heard it for himself. Then the doc reviews my bloodwork for last week. I'm anemic. I already knew that. I had gastric bypass 3 years ago and donated my right kidney to mom 3 months ago.
He prescribes iron pills. I ask a few more questions which he couldn't really be bothered to answer then out of the blue he says, "YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE LOTS OF PROBLEMS WITH THIS PREGNANCY!" What the f&%$??? Where did that come from???? I was so taken back that I immediately filled with tears. Dh went into protector's mode and rubbed my back while dealing w/ he doc asking him what he meant. He's like, "oh you had these other surgeries, the baby will come out small, it probrably won't be healthy. WHAT?
I am crushed. I know the man is prob in his late 60s but that is no excuse for making me feel like crap and worry even more. He had me do more bloodwork to make sure this is a viable pregnancy and I go again for more bloods on monday then the results on thurs. Do you think I am being crazy for wanting to swith doctors? argh... I'm so upset.

Re: Dr. Drama!!!! and what do you mean no sex for a month?

Oh and I should add, I always read on here how your docs share your"numbers" and explain things to you. I just want to be well informed and educated since this is my first pregnancy.

Re: Dr. Drama!!!! and what do you mean no sex for a month?

I'm sorry you had to deal with that, but I would switch Drs. asap.

It's so important during pregnancy that you are with a Dr. that will listen to your concerns and you feel comfortable with.

Re: Dr. Drama!!!! and what do you mean no sex for a month?

I'm sorry that you had to deal with that. I'd look into switching doctors immediately.

Re: Dr. Drama!!!! and what do you mean no sex for a month?

Re: Dr. Drama!!!! and what do you mean no sex for a month?

Ok, first....spotting/bleeding is VERY common in the first trimester. I spotted on two diff. occassions, once at 6 weeks, and again at 9. I'm 22 weeks and baby is strong and healthy so far.

Second, it's also not unheard of to be told to abstain as sex sometimes causes cervical irritations which can lead to spotting.

That said....
SWITCH DOCTORS, not because he told you to not have sex...but because his bedside manner is AWFUL!!! Please do you and your DH a favor and look into switching, get reccos here or from friends. This should be a wonderful time for your and our DH and if you're Dr. has you thinking that you're baby is in danger with every spot, ache and pain it's going to be a very long, stressful, anxiety filled 9 months. Good luck and tons of these

Re: Dr. Drama!!!! and what do you mean no sex for a month?

First I am sorry you had to deal with all this. This should be a very exciting time and it sounds like this doctor's bedside manner needs some big time help.

Personally I would RUN and find another doctor. Even if everything he said was totally valid, that is no way for him to speak to you. There are many other doctors out there who will not treat you that way and you deserve better treatment!

Congrats on your pregnancy and I wish you the best of luck whether or not you decide to stay with that Dr.

Re: Dr. Drama!!!! and what do you mean no sex for a month?

GET A NEW DOCTOR!!!!!!

HOLY CRAP!!! SOOOO uncalled for! THis guy has no idea what he is talking about and NEVER should have said that to you!!!

PLEASE, PLEASE get a new doctor!!

THere are tons of women on here with medical conditions/past surgeries that had VERY successful and uncomplicated pregnancys and beautiful babies.

GOldi has gastric by-pass a few years ago and had a wonder pregnancy and a beautiful baby

As for the bleeding it is not uncommon to spot early in pregnancy because your bean is burrowing deep into your uterine lining. Also sex can irritate the cervix and cause spotting.

I can go on and on about stuff but really you need to find a good OB or midwife. I can't give you any recomendations because I'm in CT but i'm sure tons of our lovely ladies can recomend a physician that will be A) KNOWLEDGEABLE and B) SUPPORTIVE

Please don't panic and freak out........

Re: Dr. Drama!!!! and what do you mean no sex for a month?

First off - i am so truly sorry that you had that experience....

i have to agree with the girls here. Your OB is the doctor you need to count on and rely on the most for the next 9 - 10 months. You have to LOVE that doctor... SWITCH NOW!!!

the spotting thing. It's VERY common in the first trimester...and i have read that if you do have spotting, you may be told to refrain from having sex....however, HOW you were told is where i have the problem...

We have an 'official' who's your OB thread on TTC, if you like, I can bump it for you and one of the ?? asked and answered was, "are there any practices/doctors you wouldn't recommend?"...

maybe that would be helpful???

Re: Dr. Drama!!!! and what do you mean no sex for a month?

Thanks ladies. You all are the best. I am still having some spotting and you all have calmed my fears a little.

I will take any recommendations for new docs.
xoxooxoxoxox

Re: Dr. Drama!!!! and what do you mean no sex for a month?

I think you should switch Drs!!

Re: Dr. Drama!!!! and what do you mean no sex for a month?

If you are not comfortable with your doctor - then switch now.
It would be better than now, then when you are later in this pregnancy.

But you have to know - not all doctors just give out information either. If you don't ask, they might not tell.
So when he took blood, I would have asked, what is this for, what is that going to tell us, etc. Some doctors YOU have to be more proactive with.

When he said that to you - did you ask, what does that mean? Was he telling you other things, and then just blurted that out or did he say, depending what the tests say you will have a difficult pregnancy?

Anywho - you have to be completely comfortable with your doctor, you are in this for a long haul so you need to find someone you trust and like.

About the now sex for a month - that is the least of your issue. I wasn't aloud to have sex pretty much at all during my pregnancy, not fun, but hey what are you going to do. He is looking out for the best interest for you and your baby - not what your husband and your needs are. yeah - it sucks - but in the end it will be worth it - trust me.

Re: Dr. Drama!!!! and what do you mean no sex for a month?

I loved my Dr in NY-he is in Smithtown. Dr Somers at Personal Women's Care. The practice is busy but he is the best Dr-so kind and compassionate. His oartner Dr Halpert is great too. As the others said-you an have a perfectly healthy pregnancy. Your kidneys probably need to be monitored more closely and you need to see a dietician maybe but besides for that...I think you would be fine. I woul switch Drs and explain your situation to the staff when you call to make the appointment.

Re: Dr. Drama!!!! and what do you mean no sex for a month?

I think it's very important to have a doctor who makes you feel comfortable. Personally, I'd switch doctors. I'm sorry you had a bad experience.

Re: Dr. Drama!!!! and what do you mean no sex for a month?

Find a new doctor -

You need to be comfortable with your Dr. - ESPECIALLY if he has to tell you things you don't really 'want' to hear .......

A doctor telling you that you are going to have a difficult pregnancy, etc etc SHOULD tell you WHY he thinks that, what precautions you should take, what your options are for the best possible outcome, etc etc etc. -


First of all - Did he tell you anything regarding your bleeding other than 'no sex for a month' ?? - Did he explain to you WHY he wants you to refrain from sex?

Second - When he started spewing his venom, did you ask him where he was coming from and why he felt this way? Did he explain any of his concerns to you? OR did her just spout off a list of problems you may have?

Because if he didn't, I think you need to get yourself some answers ASAP, otherwise, you're going to make yourself crazy !!

Re: Dr. Drama!!!! and what do you mean no sex for a month?

First of all, I think you should change doctors immediately.. you need to feel comfortable. That being said, my doctor does not usually share my numbers with me.. I have to ask for them from her... or whomever I end up speaking with...

Re: Dr. Drama!!!! and what do you mean no sex for a month?

I would run, not walk to another OB !!!! I'm sorry you went through that, but his bed-side manner is unacceptable IMO and you will be ssing him quite often and you should be comfortable ( very) with your OB

Re: Dr. Drama!!!! and what do you mean no sex for a month?

I would try as fast as possible to find a new dr. You have to have one you are comfortable with and that you can ask a million questions and know that the dr understands.

oh and just to comment on the numbers thing- my dr did not give me that info, nor did I ask. I really dont care what the results are as long as they are 'normal'

If you need a rec in nassau, let me know!

Good luck to you!

Re: Dr. Drama!!!! and what do you mean no sex for a month?

You need to switch doctor's immediately.

Re: Dr. Drama!!!! and what do you mean no sex for a month?

Re: Dr. Drama!!!! and what do you mean no sex for a month?

I am so sorry that he treated you that way! Some doctors have no bedside manners & I cannot understand why they think they should be working with emotional pregnant women. I agree with what the other ladies have said- it's time to look for another doctor. You need to feel comfortable with your doctor.

Re: Dr. Drama!!!! and what do you mean no sex for a month?

GET OUT NOW!!!! This sounds like a terrible doctor and your first apts should not be like that. So sorry you had to go through that

Re: Dr. Drama!!!! and what do you mean no sex for a month?

I would switch IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!! I switched Dr.'s at 16 weeks and it was the best decision I made! What an ahole this guy was to you!!!!


XOXOXO
BOTB

Re: Dr. Drama!!!! and what do you mean no sex for a month?

Posted by Marcie

If you are not comfortable with your doctor - then switch now.
It would be better than now, then when you are later in this pregnancy.

But you have to know - not all doctors just give out information either. If you don't ask, they might not tell.
So when he took blood, I would have asked, what is this for, what is that going to tell us, etc. Some doctors YOU have to be more proactive with.

When he said that to you - did you ask, what does that mean? Was he telling you other things, and then just blurted that out or did he say, depending what the tests say you will have a difficult pregnancy?

Anywho - you have to be completely comfortable with your doctor, you are in this for a long haul so you need to find someone you trust and like.

About the now sex for a month - that is the least of your issue. I wasn't aloud to have sex pretty much at all during my pregnancy, not fun, but hey what are you going to do. He is looking out for the best interest for you and your baby - not what your husband and your needs are. yeah - it sucks - but in the end it will be worth it - trust me.

Re: Dr. Drama!!!! and what do you mean no sex for a month?

Really if your doctor is so insensitive to you and your feelings, then it is time to look elsewhere for your care. I wouldn't waste any more time with him.