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CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
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Sensitivity...
As most of you know, my SIL did IVF same time as me and had a donor...well she got a BFP a day after I got a BFN...
Well today was her 2nd beta and she IMs me ..OMG my boobs are so big, my beta came back at 2648, my progesterone was 56 everything looks great, it's probably twins 
So I IM'd her back and said "you know i wish you the best but its hard for me to hear all the details..im sorry i wish things were different ... i wish we were going through it together"
She just wrote back Yea I know.
I hope I didn't come off too harsh. The timing just really really sucks. I know I will have to SEE her at some point but as far as IMing me and telling me all the details I wish I was going through right now..I felt like I had to say something now.
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Posted 8/15/08 12:35 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Sensitivity...
 You know how I feel about this situation!
I think you did the right thing, you need to think about yourself right now and she needs to have some sensitivity to the situation.
I'm so sorry you are going through this.
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| Posted 8/15/08 12:40 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Sensitivity...
Ooph. I really can't blame my friends when they share this kind of information with me, and haven't ever gone through IF, and have only seen it through my own experience.
But, for someone who went through IVF WITH you, uch, she should know better than to IM you with the details. All she had to say was that the Betas came back good.
I think you were totally in the right, and what you said was kind and appropriate, given the circumstances 
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| Posted 8/15/08 12:40 PM |
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Donna
1 year already!!
Member since 5/05 3360 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Sensitivity...
you responded a lot nicer to her than I probably would've have!
good luck to you!!
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| Posted 8/15/08 12:44 PM |
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IrishLasss334
I'll be there soon!
Member since 1/08 6549 total posts
Name:
Patty
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Re: Sensitivity...
I think you responded very nicely, I wouldn't worry about it.
Take care, I know it's hard.
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| Posted 8/15/08 12:49 PM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Sensitivity...
I think your response was appropriate. I am shocked that as someone who has been through IF that she would do that.
I NEVER mention anything to my friends going through it unless they ask because I totally understand how it feels. Shame on her for forgetting so quickly.
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| Posted 8/15/08 12:53 PM |
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mishmosh
That's all I got.
Member since 7/06 1452 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Sensitivity...
I wouldn't have had the cojones to have said anything. Good for you! I think what you said was perfect. I hope she gets the message, though.
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| Posted 8/15/08 12:59 PM |
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JennyPenny
?
Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Sensitivity...
I
Message edited 1/21/2011 2:47:31 PM.
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| Posted 8/15/08 1:01 PM |
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Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!
Member since 5/05 20046 total posts
Name:
Gerty ®
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Re: Sensitivity...
I think you handled it beautifully...and I would reiterate it if she e-mails you again.
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| Posted 8/15/08 1:27 PM |
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Angel321
...
Member since 4/08 15553 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sensitivity...
you handled it much better than I EVER could.
be proud of yourself for having the strength!
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| Posted 8/15/08 1:43 PM |
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babyfaith
Onward and Upward!
Member since 2/08 3210 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sensitivity...
I think your IM to your SIL was perfect!! She needs to know that it's too painful for you right now to hear about her pregnancy. Good for you!!!
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| Posted 8/15/08 2:25 PM |
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BA2008
Need to find some hope!
Member since 2/08 2485 total posts
Name:
Beth -Ann
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Re: Sensitivity...
I had a friend who got pg when we were going through IF together. She just had her baby last Friday. She was very respectful of my feelings. I actually had to pry info out of her about her pregnancy. She's also the one that told me not to go to her baby shower b/c she understood. But, I went anyway.
Why can't everyone be as sensitive as my friend was?
I think you handled that situation really well. And it was through AIM so it ws easier on you as well.
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| Posted 8/15/08 2:50 PM |
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-BabyMiracle-
When will my ship come in?
Member since 9/07 1056 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Sensitivity...
I think she lacks the sensitively gene. I am sorry
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| Posted 8/15/08 5:05 PM |
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MAYBEPREGERS
LIF Infant
Member since 1/08 118 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sensitivity...
I'm shocked that someone who dealt with IF is that unaware. I have two close friends that are PG. My BF is the type that sits on a toilet and gets PG. She really DOES NOT get it so I understand her emailing/calling every time she experiences something exciting. My other friend had a lot of struggles with IF and I have to pull info out of her.
Usually those that suffer/suffered through IF tend to be very sensitive to others. You handled it PERFECTLY! If she does it again, you might have to reminder her that while you are happy for her, she needs to be a little more considerate of your continuing struggle.
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| Posted 8/15/08 5:09 PM |
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Jen2999
Baby girls & beagles rock!
Member since 8/06 10356 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Sensitivity...
Thing is I dont think her SIL went through IF... She just decided to get pregnant on her own, right?
I think if she HAD gone through IF she would have more sympathy for you. I think telling her that it is hard for you was the best thing.
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| Posted 8/15/08 6:28 PM |
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CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
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Re: Sensitivity...
Posted by Jen2999
Thing is I dont think her SIL went through IF... She just decided to get pregnant on her own, right?
I think if she HAD gone through IF she would have more sympathy for you. I think telling her that it is hard for you was the best thing.
Well, I guess she didn't go through IF in the same sense that we all did / are...
She is single and at age 41 decided to have a child. She did 5 straight IUIs bc she had a donor and then IVF after that. So it's not as if she has a partner that she's been trying with for months / years...
I get that she is excited and doesn't exactly see where I am coming from...but if she could just be a little more sensitive I would really be grateful..
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| Posted 8/15/08 6:40 PM |
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mojosmom
LIF Infant
Member since 8/08 197 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sensitivity...
I'm so sorry that was really insensitive of her. I have been ttc for two years. I started ttc at the same time as my bf. She did IVF and has since had a baby. My recent IVF just failed. So I was in the same boat as you but my bf was much more sensitive then your SIL.
However, since your SIL is single and does not have a partner to share her excitement with I can understand that she wants to tell people. However, she should tell people other then you. Who knows, she may be jealous that you are married and have a partner and she knows that one day you will get pg and have a dh to share with.
I was just wondering, did you cycle at the same clinic as your SIL?
Take care
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| Posted 8/15/08 7:17 PM |
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kmac
Two under two!
Member since 5/07 3703 total posts
Name:
Kris
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Re: Sensitivity...
Posted by Donna
you responded a lot nicer to her than I probably would've have!
Same here.
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| Posted 8/15/08 7:23 PM |
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MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!
Member since 2/07 7254 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sensitivity...
Ugh- I'm sorry she's acting like that.
I would 'block' her on IM until you're ready to deal w/ her--- that'll teach her (maybe) 
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| Posted 8/15/08 10:37 PM |
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CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
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Re: Sensitivity...
Posted by mojosmom
I'm so sorry that was really insensitive of her. I have been ttc for two years. I started ttc at the same time as my bf. She did IVF and has since had a baby. My recent IVF just failed. So I was in the same boat as you but my bf was much more sensitive then your SIL.
However, since your SIL is single and does not have a partner to share her excitement with I can understand that she wants to tell people. However, she should tell people other then you. Who knows, she may be jealous that you are married and have a partner and she knows that one day you will get pg and have a dh to share with.
I was just wondering, did you cycle at the same clinic as your SIL?
Take care
No, she went to one in NYC and I am in NJ. That would be TOO close for comfort. She did however, use the same IF pharmacy as me after digging out the info from my DH 
Yes, a lot of people have mentioned that to me...I do think she is envious that I am married and have a partner...and during this hard time i do take comfort in the fact we are in this together!
thank you everyone
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| Posted 8/16/08 10:23 AM |
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