Re: DH Not on Board for IVF

Posted by LaurenExp

Has he been to a consult with your doctor? My DH's head was spinning (as was mine) by the end of the IVF consult. I was almost ready to throw in the towel, nevermind DH!

Honestly and truthfully, it is so much more of a hassle for the woman than the man. And really, it wasn't THAT bad.

If its the "I'm too old to change my ways and have a kid" then that's another argument. If its all the "work" involved in IVF, I can tell you first hand that it seems like much more work than it actually is. I think that once he realizes that its really not that much of a hassle, and its you doing all the dirty work, then maybe he'll come around.

Lots of luck to you

Re: DH Not on Board for IVF

Posted by melijane

Posted by babyquestion

I am sorry that you are going through this My advice is to try and get him to go to the class. It might open his eyes a bit more. Good luck!

See I disagree. I think the class (meaning injection class?) will scare him more than anything. It all seems very complicated and while my clinic gave us a private class that is where you have to sign all your consent froms and it talks about risks one of which is death from OHSS! Obviously that RARELY happens and you are monitored so closely..

I would tell him you want him to be as comfortable as possible and go on a few consults. Have him address his concerns with a DR.

Message edited 6/3/2008 3:43:33 PM.

Re: DH Not on Board for IVF

Posted by MrsMessina

Posted by melijane

Posted by babyquestion

I am sorry that you are going through this My advice is to try and get him to go to the class. It might open his eyes a bit more. Good luck!

See I disagree. I think the class (meaning injection class?) will scare him more than anything. It all seems very complicated and while my clinic gave us a private class that is where you have to sign all your consent froms and it talks about risks one of which is death from OHSS! Obviously that RARELY happens and you are monitored so closely..

I would tell him you want him to be as comfortable as possible and go on a few consults. Have him address his concerns with a DR.

I think the IVF class they're talking about is the IVF orientation class, where they discuss a lot of concerns/issues as well as the process.... and prep for the process. They touch on injections - but basically just tell you to view videos online and give you 2 links (at least this is what was done at my LI-IVF IVF orientation class).
Both DH and my heads were spinning but it helped us be on the same page as to what we needed to get done when, etc.... and I got the impression that 2 of the couples that were in our session changed their minds about going thru w/ IVF and wanted to continue IUIs for a while longer. You were able to stay after and ask the nurse any questions that you had- it was a really helpful session for us.

Re: DH Not on Board for IVF

i hope everything works out for you and your DH comes around!!

Re: DH Not on Board for IVF

Shoot he's worried about being a Dad at 41. What does he think of someone like me at age 40 trying to have a baby? I don't let age stop me. I remember once I wanted to go to grad school (not the same thing but I do have a point) at age 33. I thought I was way too old for school. I actually ended up in therapy (for something else) and we talked about what I wasn't doing that I wanted to do. Which was go back to school for marketing. Well, at 33 I went back to school, it took 5 years to graduate. And I got a 4.0 average. I never had so much fun in my life. I loved it. And now I do our advertising/marketing for our company. Had i let age stop me I would have missed out on that experience. And I feel the same way (but more obviously) about having kids. My DH is 41 too. I learned never to let age dictate what you can and cannot do (of course there are situations where you have no choice). I feel young and I look younger than I am and I would like to tell your DH he could be missing out on the best things that ever happened to him. I know I don't have to tell you that. If only we could think of a way to get that through to him.

Re: DH Not on Board for IVF

Thank you for all your support ladies. DH and I went to a couples counseling session last night and he expressed everything I mentioned in previous posts. It was very upsetting for me to hear but I also know I cannot force him to go ahead with something he is not comfortable with. He agreed to go to the IVF class with me this month for more information and we are going to continue with couples therapy.