Here's my crappy update.....

Just to recap my first IVF attempt:

Used Follistim for stims and Ovidrel for the trigger. Ultrasounds showed maybe 12 follies -- very good size. When I went for the ER, there were no mature eggs. Seems the Ovidrel did not work for me.

Now, IVF #2. They changed my protocol to the long-phase Lupron cycle. Been on Lupron, and now Follistim and Menopur for stims. My ultrasound yesterday showed NO follie growth and my estrogen was only 65.6. The doctor feels it may be due to my "bad eggs" (I was previously tested and found that my eggs were poor quality and low in number). I am continuing the meds until this Sunday, where I will have another ultrasound to see if any follies grew. If not, IVF will be canceled. When I asked him if he was optimistic that I will have growth by Sunday, he said no.

My eyes are so puffy today -- was crying hysterically all last night. Maybe I am too old now (37). If only I met my husband 10 years ago......maybe I wouldn't be going through this. I prayed so hard last night. My husband is such a good man and he deserves to have a child. I feel like I am letting him down. Like I am denying him, you know? He tells me I am crazy, but I can't help feeling this way.

Re: Here's my crappy update.....

Posted by leighdvm

My eyes are so puffy today -- was crying hysterically all last night. Maybe I am too old now (37). If only I met my husband 10 years ago......maybe I wouldn't be going through this. I prayed so hard last night. My husband is such a good man and he deserves to have a child. I feel like I am letting him down. Like I am denying him, you know? He tells me I am crazy, but I can't help feeling this way.

Message edited 4/10/2008 9:19:42 AM.

Re: Here's my crappy update.....

I'm sorry you're going thru this. Sometimes drs can be a little too forward when they talk- they don't always have the best bedside manner.
I hope you see a great change in the next few days!!! please don't give up hope!!!

Re: Here's my crappy update.....

I am so, so, so, so very sorry - I can't even begin to understand the pain and disappointment. I think we can all relate to those feelings of inadequacy as a woman and a wife though - all I can say is to try to remember that your husband married you because he loves YOU, not because of your reproductive capabilities. It's a joint effort - it's not all on you.... hang in there

Re: Here's my crappy update.....

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. I don't have any words of wisdom but I wanted to offer some hugs.

Re: Here's my crappy update.....

Michele, I am so, so sorry. ALthough I am not in your situation, I know what you mean about letting DH down. I have said this to him so many times. IF makes you feel like you can't do something you were meant to do. There have been many times where I feel I am "a bad woman" because I cannot conceive a child on my own.
I will be thinking of you. I hope that the doctors can find the right combination of meds for you.

Re: Here's my crappy update.....

Just wanted to send you hugs... and for good results on Sunday.

Re: Here's my crappy update.....

Michelle, I'm so sorry. I feel frustrated too. And I'm older (40) and I'm not letting my age stop me. I don't care what I have to do. And I too suffer from poor egg quality and response.

I'm a big believer in homeopathic medicine. There must be something we can do.

So far these are things I have been looking into (most of them I am doing, but probably started too late for the cycle i'm on to make a difference):

Acupuncture (with someone who is specialized in infertility issues...makes a huge difference)
Wheat grass (juice, powder, pill)
Fish oil supplements
Eating healthier in general (no sugar, bleached flour, processed foods kind of things)
Something I was reading about yesterday - Micronized DHEA 75mg a day (this is kind of controversial, but it has helped some woman in their 40's respond and produce eggs, some doctors don't want you taking it, some are believers- its some kind of male estrogen or something like that.)
But, maybe you will have good results on Sunday. Dr's know a lot but they don't know everything. see PP said she had the same thing and then she responded.

Good luck...I'll be praying for you.

Re: Here's my crappy update.....

You are not too old! Just hang on as tightly as you can. You can do this...just let them keep stimming you and see what happens. We are here to lean on

Re: Here's my crappy update.....

I'm sorry you are going through this. What is your fsh? Don't accept the "your egg quality is bad" speech. Get the number. There is lots of literature out there about fsh and I believe it is very poorly understood. Women have babies ALL the time with high fsh. Like BA said-look into homeopathis meds and acupuncture. There is a lot more hope and advice in that than in any Western medicine. GL!

ETA: Ask about the antagonist protocol. That is what I did with an fsh of 14 and stimmed reasonably well.

Message edited 4/10/2008 10:32:59 AM.

Re: Here's my crappy update.....

just wanted to send you some
I agree with the others, don't give up!

Re: Here's my crappy update.....

Posted by jmmk

just wanted to send you some
I agree with the others, don't give up!

Re: Here's my crappy update.....

It's hard, I know, I'm 39 and will be 40..waiting on my 1st. DH is younger than me and I have said the same things to him over and over but I always get Shhhh! You're being silly.

It's hard to have patience and have faith, you will find it! Anyone who goes what we all through with infertility has mountains of strength they didn't even know they had.

Re: Here's my crappy update.....

Sweetie, I'm sorry you're feeling down; I know this is all very frustrating but this will happen for you!! We are not old-I'm 37, too. Sending you some hugs-hang in there.

Re: Here's my crappy update.....

Michelle even though I am not in your situation my heart goes out to you I have spent the last 4 days crying uncontrollably, so I join you in the puffy eyes group

Try to keep your head up & I hope you get the answers you are looking for Don't think you are letting your DH down though...

Re: Here's my crappy update.....

I am so sorry you are going through this I am praying they will find the right combo of drugs for you. One more thing I recently read was that whey protein greatly increases egg quality. I bought some at GNC and drink it every afternoon, it doesn't taste bad either. I will be keeping you in my prayers and tons of your way!!

Re: Here's my crappy update.....

Just wanted to send some ...You are definately not too old and I think at one point we have all felt the same way about letting our DH's down, its totally normal...Hoping you get some good news at your next appt.

Re: Here's my crappy update.....

I am so sorry you are going through this and like the other posters I can totally relate to feeling inadequate and letting DH down. I think the previous posters gave some great advice and I will just add my two cents with the donor egg option. I am sure you already know this but it might be an option for you in a worst case scenario.