Re: Need opinions-long

I honestly don't know what it feels like to not be able to get pg. So I can't say a peep about the situation. All my friends, except me, had pg issues. That's sad. However they were all cool around pg people. Some people handle it different. I have a feeling if I wasn't able to , I think I would be someone who would need moral support too. I don't know. Not being able to become a Mother when you so desparetly want to be is a very big deal.

If she is truly your BFF, be there for her whenever where ever for whatever!

Do you know her aunt very well? I do admit that it is kind of nervy to ask to bring someone else for "moral support" but If you are close to her Aunt then maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea.

It's a tough call.

Re: Need opinions-long

Re: Need opinions-long

Thanks everyone, i will just leave the ball in her court, and she can do as she feels. Part of the reason i do not want her to go is out of compassion for her, i do not want her to feel like she needs to put herself through that torture just for me, plus it will make me feel very bad that she has to be subjected to the whole scene.

This is one of those things, that unelss you've experienced it, its hard to truly know what its like....I've heard of quite a few stories where people were able to overcome there sadness, and move on, so i guess i was comparing her to these other people, who coped better.

Although, i still feel more sympathy for being in your late 30's, ALONE and single..cause i was there, and it was HARD. Especially when you REALLY want children one day and your clock is ticking. To have to watch everyone else getting engaged, married and pregnant is rough, when u are so far from acheiving that.

For now, as sad as it is, i've accepted the fact that our friendship is no longer the same. It was hard in the beginning, but after not hearing from her for weeks at a time, i've adjusted to not having her in my life.

The only way this friendship will ever turn around is if she gets a BFP. I truthfully do think she will become pregnant, she hasn't been trying that long. I think her stress is preventing it from happening for her.

Re: Need opinions-long

I would let her come with her aunt. I've never been in her situation but could imagine that she's going through alot right now. 1 extra person wouldn't bother me if it would help a bff to emotionally get through the day.

Re: Need opinions-long

I can't imagine what she is going through TTC. It sounds like she wants to be there for you for your big day, and if bringing her aunt will get her through it... I would be all for it.

Re: Need opinions-long

I have a good friend that had a hard time gettting pregnant and has been thru alot. It's been hard for her. She has mentioned how hard it is to see people with babies. I try to be very supportive to her but our friendship is not as close. If it was her and I was in your position. I would tell her to bring her aunt if it made her feel better. Her aunt will help get her thru what seems to be a hard time for her.

I have to tell you my friend who has tried for at least a 1 1/2 just called me the other day to say she is pregnant! I am so happy for her!! Hopefully your friend will find herself in the same situation soon!

Re: Need opinions-long

My BEST friend, my maid of honor- she is like my sister- we grew up around the corner from each other and our moms are best friends is still single and is very sad about it.

She talks to me on the phone and listens when I am stressed about DS and pregnancy #2. She has come to visit a few times but cries when she is here and said she cannot hold DS and hug him.

I am upset about it but, overall, it is still a two way friendship- she listens to me about my life and I listen to her about hers.

Let her bring her aunt-- she is making a concerted effort to you. Do the same.

If, she still cannot talk to you on the phone or deal with hearing about your pregnancy after another 6 months or so, then it really is not a friendship anymore. It can't be a friendship if you cannot share your life with her.

Maybe seeing you at the shower is her way of seeing if she can handle this? Then it is so brave of her to keep trying-and she is because she loves you. If she can, then it will be wonderful- you can still have the friendship. But, if giving it time she can't handle it then you may have to let the friendship go.....

Re: Need opinions-long

wow..i feel like we have the same problem! are we talking about the same girl.. my friend hates it as well..and im afraid to tell her im pregnant... i cant imagine how she will react..

anyways. i know how you feel.. do what you feel is best!