Is there any truth to it?

Ok, for most of us TTC, we have heard people tell us to "relax, it will happen". It's frustrating to hear, and I want to tell them to go kiss my butt, but I have to wonder, is stress a factor here?

I remember when I was planning my wedding, and it totally consumed me. I was totally obsessive about it, every song I heard on the radio, I would think, "should I have the DJ play this at the reception"? You all know what I mean! . All I could think about, night and day, was my wedding day. Dreaming about it, too. I am sure most of you can relate....

Then, when DH and I were house-hunting, that became my next obsession. All day at work, I was looking at pics of houses, researching areas, until, once again, it was ALL CONSUMING.......I even broke out in shingles when we were closing (on my face, no less!)

I suppose I tend to be the type of person that gets obsessed about stuff (maybe a little bit? ). Maybe the constant stressing, thinking about it 24/7, analyzing my temperature, worrying if there is something wrong with me, worrying if there is something wrong with DH, etc., is hurting my chances. Maybe I really DO need to relax. Maybe stress is affecting how quickly I become pregnant. I know it can't hurt to relax and think about something else, but with the exception of drugging myself into a catatonic state, how the heck do I do that?

{sigh} maybe now I am obsessing about obsessing! LOL

Message edited 9/12/2007 9:35:59 AM.

Re: Is there any truth to it?

I wish I had an answer!!! As I'm the same way. Becoming pregnant just consumes me try as I might not to let it!

There could be some truth in the "relax and it will happen" statement, but honestly, I do not want to hear that over and over again! It did happen for a friend of mine. They obsessed over getting pregnant and decided after 6 months they were going to take a break, and 2 months later she was pregnant. Maybe it was a coincidence, I don't know.

I realize I'm just rambling now and probably not making much sense, as I tend to do these days when it comes to TTC. But after a year and nothing to show for it, my sanity is not really in check.

ETA: Relaxing for me just won't work, as my problem is a medical one.

Message edited 9/12/2007 1:18:57 PM.

Re: Is there any truth to it?

I wouldn't know myself because I'm the same way. I've tried the "relax and don't think about it" but no matter what I do TTC and the idea of being pg always creep back into my mind.

Re: Is there any truth to it?

I was wondering the same thing this morning but I just can't seem to get it out of my head. How the heck do you not let TTC consume your life when you are taking OPK's & what not. I vowed to my DH that I would try to let it go last month but I just found myself back to square one thinking about it.

It is so hard to hear people say "Just relax, it will happen" A lot easier said then done!

Re: Is there any truth to it?

I believe there is truth to it for some people. It is a known fact that stress can delay ovulation, and this can mess you up if you are TTC.
However, this would only be a small bump in the road, and would not stop an otherwise healthy couple from getting pregnant after months and months and months.
I have not really been obsessed with TTC, mainly because I am not ovulating because of PCOS. Relaxing is not going to help me, I have a medical problem. I don't use OPK's, and to be truthful I have been really bad about charting too. We BD when we feel like it, not thinking "is this it? did we just make a baby?" So I feel I have been relaxed and not obsessed, and I am not pg - I have been off BCP for a year now - if all was well, I should have been PG already.

Re: Is there any truth to it?

I have to say that I did get my BFP when I "relaxed"...that being said let me explain....

I still took my temperature, I still took the OPK everyday but I just didn't let it consume me...prior to the BFP I did all of the above plus I read articles, thought about what problems I might have every second of the day, all I talked about was my symptoms and what am I doing wrong.

Then I decided...ok...in the end I have no control when this is going to happen to me...I'm going to continue to do what I can to up my chances but I am not going to let it be all I think about....so I made an appointment with a RE. I went..she did bloodwork and gave me a prescription for Clomid....then she called me the next day and told me to throw out the prescription...I was pregnant.

Sorry so long....I guess what I am saying is do what you have to do to help yourself get pregnant....but at the same time....enjoy life, enjoy your husband, go out with friends, talk about other things than getting pregnant.



Edited to add: I got my BFP after 14 months of TTC

Message edited 9/12/2007 1:18:18 PM.

Re: Is there any truth to it?

Honestly, when you're actively TTC you can't relax until you get that BFP...I'm not one to obsess over things compulsively but while TTC (even though it took us 2 active months) I stressed and that is all I thought about...I guess its normal when you really want something...

Re: Is there any truth to it?

Posted by LovingLife

I have to say that I did get my BFP when I "relaxed"...that being said let me explain....

I still took my temperature, I still took the OPK everyday but I just didn't let it consume me...prior to the BFP I did all of the above plus I read articles, thought about what problems I might have every second of the day, all I talked about was my symptoms and what am I doing wrong.

Then I decided...ok...in the end I have no control when this is going to happen to me...I'm going to continue to do what I can to up my chances but I am not going to let it be all I think about....so I made an appointment with a RE. I went..she did bloodwork and gave me a prescription for Clomid....then she called me the next day and told me to throw out the prescription...I was pregnant.

Sorry so long....I guess what I am saying is do what you have to do to help yourself get pregnant....but at the same time....enjoy life, enjoy your husband, go out with friends, talk about other things than getting pregnant.

Re: Is there any truth to it?

i don't buy the "relax and it will happen" argument AT ALL.

in my career i work with lots of women who abuse lots of different substances, and the vast majority of them have at least one child. you can't get your body more stressed out than if you do drugs, and yet most of these women get pregnant without a problem.

in my own personal case, i got pregnant in my fifth month trying. and to be honest, it was one of the most stressful months of my life. DH and i were both taking our medical boards right around ovulation time - 2 days of testing, 8 hours each. oh, and we were also both really sick at the time with upper respiratory infections. AND we were working an ungodly number of hours per week. yet that was the month we got pregnant... go figure.

Re: Is there any truth to it?

I totally understand what you mean!! Our wedding is in 16 days and we have been running around. We would like to start a family as soon as we are married. We are trying to be relaxed but when we talk and think about it; we really get excited. So, we will see what happens.

~dancer and chef~
charlotte and michael

Re: Is there any truth to it?

I absolutely believe there is something to just relaxing. It may not solve the problem but it can't hurt!

My BF got pregnant with her 1st the month after she stopped the pill. 1 year later she tried to get pg again and nothing.....for a year...she was obsessing and temping and OPK'ing..she finally went to the dr. and he did blood and said her sugar was a little high - he told her there was NO WAY should would get pregnant b/c it was effecting her ovulation,etc. Told her to go home and do low carb diet and come back for blood in 3 months. She got pregnant the next month. When she went to the Dr. she told him I thought you said NO WAY??? He told her he kind of fibbed to her so she would relax. She did have a small sugar problem but he could see the way she was obsessing and making herself crazy and said she needed to relax.

I know that I hav emore of a problem then just relaxing...but I need to relax during the 2ww, which will start on Saturday - 2nd IUI is on Friday!