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mrswask
Pookie Love
Member since 5/05 20229 total posts
Name:
Michal
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Re: Going out with your girlfriends..... UPDATE!
One thing that I have learned is trust is earned and kept through your actions. If you both spoke and he said he'd like you home by 2 am, I say be home no matter what by that time, if not before. You'll show him that you respect his feelings and I think (and hope) he'll be less inclined to bother you the next time you go out.
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Posted 7/2/07 8:31 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
LightUpOurLife
Totally in love
Member since 8/06 12785 total posts
Name:
Bonnie-Jean
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Re: Going out with your girlfriends..... UPDATE!
I think after reading the whole post from you that I can say this......
I have a BFF that I tell almost everything to. One time I was complaining to her she made the comment of "There has to be good times in between all the arguments for you to stay." She was only hearing mostly arguments for a while. I think we (as a group) are only hearing the arguments from you.
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| Posted 7/2/07 8:43 PM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Going out with your girlfriends..... UPDATE!
Jes, I think that is a great start! And, it's not too much of a compromise on your part because honestly, you're not going to miss much after 2 am. Good for you for telling him you don't like how he is speaking to you! Let's hope he listens.
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| Posted 7/2/07 9:02 PM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: Going out with your girlfriends..... UPDATE!
I think he is jealous...jealous that you are out sharing your time with others when all he wants when he gets home is for you to be there.
I think thats a key difference between dating and marriage....when your dating you can go out and do your own thing if you want, but when your married you are responsible to someone other then yourself.
Maybe he thought when you guys got married somethings would be different from your dating life
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| Posted 7/2/07 9:41 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: Going out with your girlfriends..... UPDATE!
Posted by Jesaroo
mini "update":
DH just called and did the whole
"What are you doing tonight?"
i told him "you know i'm going to park slope"
to which he (lied) said "no i didnt"
[ummmm didnt i tell you this morning to pack cool clothes to come out in if you wanted to meet up with us]
so then -as expected- he said "dont come home f*cking late tonight"
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
so i stayed calm and said to him that he shouldnt speak to me like that when i havent done anything wrong and i dont appreciate the way he barks orders at me.
he was pretty quiet for a minute there and we didnt say anything so then i said
"its really unfair the way you just anticipate me coming home late and you dont even give me a chance"
so then we talked for a bit and i asked him "what do you think is an appropriate time for me to come home?"
he said 2am.
so i will try to be home around then.
i guess thats my compromise.
I think that is a definite improvement. It certainly seems like you caught your husband off guard by just speaking to him instead of arguing. It seems to me that BOTH of you are on the defensive based on prior arguements (which is understandable). I think the more you two talk to each other the better off you will be.
The only thing I don't understand is the "uncertain" face after you said "i guess thats my compromise."
I really don't mean this offensively or anything, but why is coming home at 2am worthy of the "uncertain face"?
Do you think you're going to miss something? What if your night ended sooner? I would assume that you would go home, no? It almost seems like you are anticipating staying out late and so therefore the thought of coming home early (which for me 2am would be LATE!  ) or at this agreed upon hour is not acceptable to you.
Just a thought, if 2am was not late enough for you, why not try finding a better time that suits you both? But honestly, do you really need to be out past 2am on a Monday?? It just doesn't seem like a "big night out" night to me.
Part of compromising is giving in alittle bit. Coming home at 2am isn't exactly a major loss on your end of the compromise IMO.
But nonetheless, it certainly seems like you're making progress...
Message edited 7/2/2007 9:59:00 PM.
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| Posted 7/2/07 9:58 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Going out with your girlfriends..... UPDATE!
Pre-baby, there was no set time to come home. DH worked nights though, so I pretty much stayed out.
If he were home, I would make it an early night, he always waited up to make sure i got home okay. He had class the next morning, so I did not want him to miss out on sleep.
If he was out, I tend to think the worst with car accidents...so I never really slept till he got home.
Plus, I enjoyed drunk sex, so I would go home still buzzed and early enough to make it a good night.
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| Posted 7/2/07 10:17 PM |
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