Re: Is it weird that I find this weird?

Hmm...although my MIL and FIL don't have life insurance policies or 401ks (which is pathetic) I could totally see them infringing on our privacy and asking DH or I if we were prepared for the future.

And, as much as it isn't ANY of their business, I would chalk it up to them just being incredibly nosey and not malicious.

Your DH should just say "Don't worry, we have taken care of and secured our future should it ever come to that" and leave it at that. Then, then next time they ask simply say "It's none of your business". As rude as it is, its best to be up front so they know to back off and stop sticking their nose where it doesn't belong. Just my opinion.

Re: Is it weird that I find this weird?

Actually my MIL took one out on me (for my husband's benefit) from her organization. Once I understood why she was doing it, I felt good about it.

Re: Is it weird that I find this weird?

Posted by leese

Actually my MIL took one out on me (for my husband's benefit) from her organization. Once I understood why she was doing it, I felt good about it.

Re: Is it weird that I find this weird?

Honestly, my parents ask me this kind of stuff all the time... whether we have life insurance, what the policy covers, whether we set up an education account for Alex, how much we're putting in, etc.

I know, in our case, that it stems from genuine concern for our family - they want to make sure we are covered and safe in case there is any kind of tragedy. And, my family is just super-uber-overly-obsessive about education so they want to make sure we are planning for Alex (for god's sake, even my brother reminds me, at least once a month, about putting money in her account).

And, I know, in large part, they inquire usually when they are planning their own finances, because they take us into account when making adjustments.

I would chalk it up to misguided concern, or at least, I would hope that's what it is!

Re: Is it weird that I find this weird?

Posted by sunflowerjesss

Posted by leese

Actually my MIL took one out on me (for my husband's benefit) from her organization. Once I understood why she was doing it, I felt good about it.

Wow, that could be scary, finding out your MIL took out a life insurance policy on you I would be watching my back afraid she also hired someone to "take care of me" j/k

Re: Is it weird that I find this weird?

If it came up in conversation and she appeared genuinely concerned, that would be one thing. However, the wording of that email (and the fact that she gave NO explanation) creeps me out!

Seriously, I hope your DH didn't answer. I would have him call her and say, "WHY do you want to know?"

Re: Is it weird that I find this weird?

I would be so mad if I saw that. It really is none of her business. Like other posters said just reply with "yes, things are in place and that is all that needs to known".

I would also get that will in place and make sure they put some sort of clause in their that doesn't allow them to contest the will at all. I think my DH's grandmother has that in her's. If DH's aunt wants to contest than she gets nothing as opposed to what she could have gotten.

ETA: I really feel for you. I don't know how you deal with her so civilly. I dont think I would be able to and I am not a confertationaly person.

Message edited 5/1/2007 8:30:43 AM.

Re: Is it weird that I find this weird?

Posted by sticklee

Posted by Kate07

Talk about intusive. What's up with the as soon as possible deal? I'd be locking my doors

i'm with you on this one

Re: Is it weird that I find this weird?

If your relationship with MIL was usually ok, I would give her the benefit of the doubt. It may have just come out more nosey or crass than it was meant to be.

But given the history of trouble she's given you guys, that email would REALLY piss me off. Tell her all the money is being left to Scientology, and your son is going to Tom Cruise. See what she says.

Re: Is it weird that I find this weird?

Not at all...with as crazy as she is, I'd be worried too

Re: Is it weird that I find this weird?

Posted by MrsT

I don't know the history with your MIL but I do not find it all that weird. My dad has a policy on me - has since I was a child. It may be cheaper for me to take over that policy and add DH & a child rather than buy a new policy.

Not that your MIL has this in mind but I know if my dad asked those questions it would be because he researched it and probably had a meeting with his financial advisor soon to talk about me taking over my policy which he still pays for on my behalf.

As for planning for your DS, I think it's great that she is making provisions for your DS "just in case." My dad's friend recently lost his 25 year old daughter to cancer so it's always advisable to plan for the "just in case." Should those funds never be needed then that will be your DS's new car for graduation or maybe college tuition She may not be up to anything sinister.

Re: Is it weird that I find this weird?

Posted by BellaPaige

Posted by MrsT

I don't know the history with your MIL but I do not find it all that weird. My dad has a policy on me - has since I was a child. It may be cheaper for me to take over that policy and add DH & a child rather than buy a new policy.

Not that your MIL has this in mind but I know if my dad asked those questions it would be because he researched it and probably had a meeting with his financial advisor soon to talk about me taking over my policy which he still pays for on my behalf.

As for planning for your DS, I think it's great that she is making provisions for your DS "just in case." My dad's friend recently lost his 25 year old daughter to cancer so it's always advisable to plan for the "just in case." Should those funds never be needed then that will be your DS's new car for graduation or maybe college tuition She may not be up to anything sinister.

ITA!!! My parents and my In laws would do something like this but it would not mean anything bad.

Re: Is it weird that I find this weird?

Posted by joenick

Sleep with one eye open!!!

That is BEYOND rude, not to mention nosy.

Re: Is it weird that I find this weird?

For those who do know what your MIL puts you through we all know this is her way of being nosy and controlling. I think a safe answer to her would be that you both have each other and DS completely taken care of, but thanks Mom so much for worrying and checking on us.

How you deal with your MIL is beyond me!

Re: Is it weird that I find this weird?

Thanks everyone!

As I said earlier in another post the 2nd email did mention a policy they have out on DH and whether or not he'd like to take it over or cash it in!

So I do believe this all started with them trying to figure out what to do with this policy- and maybe a intrusive way of making sure we have taken care of things

BUT

They way things were worded werent in such a way of a friendly reminder... "we have to know this as soon as possible"- Ummmm I dont think so- you dont HAVE to know anything.... There is a big difference between asking and telling!

Re: Is it weird that I find this weird?