Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

Is the party so big because she is expected to host but those from previous years also invite guests? I can kind of see both sides...like she is expected to host the year end party but it's more like a class party where you are inviting everyone; not just friends. However, I would not ask people to chip in...I might ask people to bring things and maybe ask for $5 for pizza. But, if this was more of a personal party where I am inviting all the guests and it's strictly MY party - no...I would never expect anyone to chip in and would also ask for things if guests asked what to bring.

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

We have a group of friends we hang out with often and one family hosts at their house (for a plethora of reasons) quite frequently.

We do contribute when they host. It's either bringing booze/app/dessert or money. We went there on on NYE and paid $60 for me, my SO and our kids for food and booze and stuff. I was the one who pushed it because I felt like they were constantly laying out for a lot of people. However, they're hosting a party for their daughter this weekend and obviously we are just bringing a gift (I may bring a dessert she likes too if I have time to do it)

Maybe people think it is tacky, but I think if people are hosting frequently it really isn't

As for the text to 10 people, some carriers don't let you respond if there are more than 10 people on the text, so maybe she sent multiple texts (we have that issue with the same group of friends )

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

That's just crazy.

I would actually respond back mentioning that your $40 contribution consists of the $100 contribution you are making for the vodka drink.

You watch; she will get money from no one. Just watch........

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

Posted by tray831



That's just crazy.

I would actually respond back mentioning that your $40 contribution consists of the $100 contribution you are making for the vodka drink.

You watch; she will get money from no one. Just watch........

Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

I don't know that I really find this tacky at all. I host 2 family parties every year. Everyone always asks what they can bring. Thing is I plan a different menu all the time. So if I tell them a dish, it would be something specific and not everyone can handle that. I would love if they would just contribute a dollar amount instead of bringing something. This year I actually cancelled one of our parties due to finances. And I am not sure I am going to do a big party for my son this year either (but he asked to not have a party and get an iPad instead).

Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

In some scenarios here, sure ask everyone to chip in a little. But in this case, either she's asking half the people to chip in for a party for the other half of their friends or they're asking everyone in separate texts. If that's the case, let's say that's 20 families at $40 each which is $800! If you want to spend a over $800 on a backyard bbq that's fine but don't expect everyone else to foot that bill.

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

um........NO.

When she planned the party she could have said "I love having this party but I just can't afford to do it myself. could anyone contribute a little to help offset".

Or EVEN if she said 'wow, I'm in a pickle and need help. I am over my head and was hoping some of you can help".

For one of my CLOSE girlfriends I would not bat an eye for a second.

But AFTER the fact just seems really odd.

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

We host 3 big parties a year-Halloween Spaghetti & Meatballs, Christmas Eve Cocktail Party, and Memorial Day BBQ and don't ask a thing. If people offer, we ask them to bring a dessert or a side dish or a drink. We did not have our memorial day BBQ this year because we didn't want to spend the money and ran out of time. I would never ever ask for money (or anything, unless they insisted on bringing something). It's your choice to host a party, no one is forcing you.

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

I would NEVER and yes Im judging you if you did that.

don't throw a party if you cant afford.

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

DB Post

Message edited 6/21/2017 4:21:36 PM.

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

OK- One thing in the OP stands out to me, that she has hosted this party before. So, OP, has it gotten to be a bigger shindig then it used to be?

Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

She should have said everyone would need to contribute before sending out the invites. It's rude to request after the fact

Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

Tacky.

Trying to understand where her thought process was. You said they host every year, so maybe they felt it was fair to ask for a little $$ help. I am assuming the 9 people she asked are the ones who take part each year in it, and the others may not have been part of the previous years' parties. Has the party become a larger event in recent years?

Message edited 6/22/2017 7:28:01 AM.

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

Pot luck = YES - everyone brings something... an app to share, a dessert, juice boxes for the kids, beer, etc.

Asking for money = NOPE

Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

What kind of party is it? Is it a school party? I feel like I'm missing details. 70 people is a lot especially if you are tight with money or feel obligated to throw the party every year. Maybe ask her off line if she asked everyone on the list to contribute. I don't know that's a tough awkward one.

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

Is this at her house? Definitely strange to throw a party at her house and ask guests to contribute money.

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

I would not host a party if I could not afford to host it. I think it's one thing to say it's BYOB or ask people to bring a dessert or something, but I wouldn't ask for a cash contribution.

It would be different if a group of friends got together and said, "let's have an end of the year party - we can all chip in x dollars, will someone agree to have it at their house?" But if the host decided to throw a party, then it's not very gracious to ask the invitees to chip in.

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

To answer a few questions
- it's actually less people than last year
- it's an invite only, I.e. No one invites brings other people
- it's pizza and heroes
- the people who were asked to contribute do go every year but so do some of the other people who weren't asked.


I think I'm just going to show up with my vodka and not give any $...

Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

I can definitely see this NOT being tacky (end of year party for a bunch of kids, siblings throwing mom/dad anniversary party, block party kind of situation, large party that a group decided to throw but at someone's house...you get the picture) but if one person takes it upon their own self to throw a party, asking people for money to cover the costs is MUCH different and totally tacky. If people offer to bring something, by all means, do so. It does help when 5 people bring dessert and others offer to bring beer and soda. But to collect money and NOT from everyone...weird.

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

I don't have an issue with asking for money for a huge party. I have an issue with someone taking it upon themselves to host a party, buy all the stuff, make all the decisions, and THEN ask SOME people for money.

If everyone got together and said X will host, and we'll all chip in Y dollars to cover everything, then that is totally fine. I would never expect one person to foot the bill for a huge party. However, everything needs to be brought up before, not after....

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

Based on the information provided, I do find this scenario odd.

If everyone talked about having a party and one person offered to host it, then I think that is different.

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to

I throw several big parties a year. We have "that house" that everyone wants to come to for every occasion. Maybe because we don't have a cover charge? LOL j/k. Last year, we were tapped out when it came to NYE, I just told people they had to bring what they were drinking and either an app or dessert. Nobody had a problem doing that (Nobody ever comes empty handed anyway) and I spent far less than normal. I also cut back on what we usually serve for NYE. I would never ask anyone to give me money nor would I accept it if they offered.

In your friend's case, if she can't afford to do the party and was suckered into it, then what she should do is handle the pizza only and then just assign people something to bring to defray her costs. If I were you, I would bring the vodka and be done with it.