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nessa09
LIF Toddler
Member since 2/09 469 total posts
Name:
Vanessa
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Re: Wedding gift- Is this ok? PLEASE BE HONEST
I actually received the kitchen aid stand mixer as a wedding gift, on Long Island, and I was thrilled! It was one of things that was still left on my registry. The guest could not attend the wedding so they mailed it, but it is awesome. I love to bake and every time I use it I think of the person.
I agree that you might want to break up the gift and give part at the shower and the mixer at the wedding or ship it to them prior to the wedding. I just wouldn't want the bride and groom to think that you didn't give a wedding gift.
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Posted 7/13/16 10:45 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding gift- Is this ok? PLEASE BE HONEST
I would only give money for a wedding around here.
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| Posted 7/13/16 11:28 PM |
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SweetSarj
LIF Adult
Member since 10/09 1592 total posts
Name:
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Wedding gift- Is this ok? PLEASE BE HONEST
I would give whatever you want. Weddings aren't about receiving money. I didn't invite people to give me money to pay for their plate. They were invited to celebrate with us on our special day.
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| Posted 7/13/16 11:31 PM |
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Teach723
Have faith. Believe. Dream.
Member since 8/10 2356 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding gift- Is this ok? PLEASE BE HONEST
Posted by StaceyWill
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by StarsStripes
Posted by Loveme
I would give cash for the wedding and something smaller from the registry for the shower .
I agree.
Me three.
Me four.
Me five.
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| Posted 7/14/16 3:20 AM |
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wakemeup
Member since 10/13 1397 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding gift- Is this ok? PLEASE BE HONEST
Posted by PearlJamChick
I think it's a fun and generous idea. I got married on LI and received some physical gifts that were awesome. Just because *most* people give cash doesn't mean you can't give a great gift like this. The only thing I would do differently than you- I would stagger the gifts as this poster described:
Posted by Summergrl14
Could you give her the cupcake decorating kit and the cookbook for her shower and the mixer as her wedding gift?
(And maybe bring it to her house a few days before or after the wedding...it's less on her to coordinate at the reception)
Completely agree with this. Cash we got from our wedding was spent on household items anyway! I'd be thrilled with this as a gift 
Message edited 7/14/2016 7:55:49 AM.
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| Posted 7/14/16 7:55 AM |
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Kitten1929
LIF Adult
Member since 1/13 6040 total posts
Name:
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Wedding gift- Is this ok? PLEASE BE HONEST
I am a little confused by these responses.
LIF is the LAND OF CASH WEDDING GIFTS ALWAYS AND FOREVER.
I have always been under the impression that a shower gift was separate from the wedding (cash) gift.
I think the shower gift, while extravagant, was of your choosing and you shouldn't penalize the bride and groom for buying something expensive. I would also feel self consicous lugging a huge box to the wedding because you know people will be tittering.
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| Posted 7/14/16 8:13 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding gift- Is this ok? PLEASE BE HONEST
Do whatever you feel comfortable with, there is no right or wrong answer.
Maybe give her the mixer for the shower and instead of those other little things you bought, return them and for the wedding give her a $100 check in the card. This was you're spending roughly the same and you're giving something for each separate event. Alternatively, give her a $100 gift card at the shower and then give her the mixer as the wedding gift.
ETA - I have given gifts at a wedding other than cash and I was NOT the only one. A gift is a gift whether it's a physical present or money.
Message edited 7/14/2016 8:20:04 AM.
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| Posted 7/14/16 8:19 AM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding gift- Is this ok? PLEASE BE HONEST
i think its fine to give her the mixer for a wedding gift however i wouldn't give it at the shower.
i would give her the mixer on the wedding day or closer to the wedding day so she knows its a gift for the wedding and not the shower.
i would give the other gifts you got at the shower.
i received gifts for my wedding and i was fine with that and if you are not ok with that then IMO you are rude and shouldn't have a wedding to begin cause clearly you are only in it for the cash.
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| Posted 7/14/16 8:35 AM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Wedding gift- Is this ok? PLEASE BE HONEST
I think it's very generous but I think it would be odd to give it all at the shower and try to explain that it's a combo gift. I would give the mixer as a wedding gift and do something else at the shower. Maybe give the other items with a small gc, idk. It seems like just the two small items would look a little flimsy coming from someone in the wedding party when she doesn't know you have a $$$ wedding gift coming. If they weren't on the registry I would definitely add a gc or return them and get something off the registry.
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| Posted 7/14/16 8:44 AM |
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bunnyluck
LIF Adult
Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
Name:
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Wedding gift- Is this ok? PLEASE BE HONEST
Personally I wouldn't give a boxed gift. Nothing wrong with it but not something I'd do. Also if it's a wedding gift, give it at the wedding not at the shower. I'm confused as to why you'd do that??? Also I wouldn't bring it to the wedding. I'd mail it a day before or after. No one wants to lug a mixer on thier wedding day.
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| Posted 7/14/16 8:44 AM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17796 total posts
Name:
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Wedding gift- Is this ok? PLEASE BE HONEST
I see no problem with giving a gift of the registry for the wedding but, I think the bride may expect a wedding gift as well if you give the joint gift at the shower.
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| Posted 7/14/16 8:50 AM |
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BabyBMakes3
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/13 711 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: Wedding gift- Is this ok? PLEASE BE HONEST
I think it's MORE than generous! Although I would probably give the accessories at the shower and the mixer closer to or at the wedding itself.
That being said...the idea of cash gift giving is ridiculious to me (and I had the typical LI wedding)...I could not tell you a SINGLE dollar amount anyone gave me and I certainly didn't go through my guest list to see who didn't give me a cash gift. But if someone had given me a Kitchenaid you better believe THAT is a gift I would have remembered.
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| Posted 7/14/16 8:56 AM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding gift- Is this ok? PLEASE BE HONEST
That's very generous!
I'm married almost 7 years and still sad I didn't get my stand mixer as a wedding gift...and haven't been able to bring myself to spend the money to buy it myself yet!  Maybe when (if) we get a bigger kitchen.
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| Posted 7/14/16 9:02 AM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6656 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding gift- Is this ok? PLEASE BE HONEST
Posted by PearlJamChick
I think it's a fun and generous idea. I got married on LI and received some physical gifts that were awesome. Just because *most* people give cash doesn't mean you can't give a great gift like this. The only thing I would do differently than you- I would stagger the gifts as this poster described:
Posted by Summergrl14
Could you give her the cupcake decorating kit and the cookbook for her shower and the mixer as her wedding gift?
(And maybe bring it to her house a few days before or after the wedding...it's less on her to coordinate at the reception)
Agreed. I actually got one gift AT the wedding- a beautiful glass Lenox frame- and it was a pain. They handed it to me at the reception and I wound up toting it around for 1/2 hour as I was pulled in different directions.
But I think it is a good idea to give her the mixer closer to the wedding date and something smaller for her shower. I might even throw in some other small things like measuring cups/spoons and a cute apron or pot holder so that it's themed and you could wrap it up cute!
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| Posted 7/14/16 9:10 AM |
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Peainapod
Peanuts are here!
Member since 1/09 13591 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Wedding gift- Is this ok? PLEASE BE HONEST
Showerd and weddingd are two separate gift giving events. while that gift is super awesome and generous, I think I would give the mixer as the wedding gift;
cash is great, and I got mostly cash gifts at my wedding too with some smaller gift items, but damnit I would have loved that mixer!!
Give the two smaller items and maybe a small gift card for something she can use, and then give the mixer as the wedding gift.
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| Posted 7/14/16 9:21 AM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding gift- Is this ok? PLEASE BE HONEST
I prefer cash for a wedding. We did not get one gift (boxes) at our wedding. Cash is king and honestly, most people expect that.
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| Posted 7/14/16 9:56 AM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: Wedding gift- Is this ok? PLEASE BE HONEST
The mixer as a wedding gift is totally fine. I would not give that gift at the shower though. Give a smaller bridal shower gift.
One of my bridesmaids did not give me a wedding gift. In hindsight, I am sure she thought her shower gift was the wedding gift but I do remember looking for her card. She was the only one of my friends who did not bring a wedding gift to the actual wedding. I genuinely thought her card was lost.
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| Posted 7/14/16 9:56 AM |
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MaZz
* Lovin my baby girl!!! *
Member since 2/09 6243 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Wedding gift- Is this ok? PLEASE BE HONEST
I think it is find to do but not sure how to word it... Because of that, I think I would get something very small and personal to give at the shower and save the mixer and accessories as a gift that you give to her right before her wedding day approaches to signal it's her wedding gift that you didn't think you should lug around on the day of. Do not bring any physical gifts to the hall!!! I had a few guests do that at my wedding and the gifts vanished!
When I was a BM in my good friends wedding, I opted NOT to give her cash at her wedding bc I wanted to do something special for her instead. I found out what cruise she was going on for her hm and had a honeymoon package sent to her room, wine, cheese, strawberries etc. So if your gift is something that makes you happy to give her, I say go for it...
Message edited 7/14/2016 10:00:18 AM.
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| Posted 7/14/16 9:58 AM |
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mommy2be716
LIF Adult
Member since 1/16 2921 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding gift- Is this ok? PLEASE BE HONEST
Posted by jerrysgirl
Posted by beachbabe
I would give cash
I agree.. Is the mixer on the registry?
Yeah the mixer is on her registry and she really wanted it. They already live together and didn't have much to choose from, so that's kind of how I got the idea for it.
Thank you everyone for the honesty- I really needed to hear the real opinions here! Because I know the mixer was something she did really want, I think I will give that to her for the wedding gift. I will wrap up the decorating set, cookbook, and get a few other small items and gift those at the shower.
I received a few physical gifts at my wedding (fine china, waterford, etc.), and it didn't bother me. Only annoying thing was carrying that stuff home after the wedding. I think I will drive the kitchen aid mixer over to her house a week or so before the wedding so that they already have it.
Message edited 7/14/2016 10:29:06 AM.
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| Posted 7/14/16 10:02 AM |
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JME78
LIF Adult
Member since 11/09 3672 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding gift- Is this ok? PLEASE BE HONEST
Posted by Hofstra26
Do whatever you feel comfortable with, there is no right or wrong answer.
Maybe give her the mixer for the shower and instead of those other little things you bought, return them and for the wedding give her a $100 check in the card. This was you're spending roughly the same and you're giving something for each separate event. Alternatively, give her a $100 gift card at the shower and then give her the mixer as the wedding gift.
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I think this is a great idea. Return the accessories and give her a smaller check for the wedding.
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| Posted 7/14/16 10:23 AM |
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Mill188
LIF Adult
Member since 3/09 3073 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding gift- Is this ok? PLEASE BE HONEST
I would give her the smaller accessories for the shower and the mixer for the wedding.
It is absolutely OK to give a physical gift at the wedding. However, I don't know if I would bring it to the hall - maybe deliver it a day or two before her wedding.
I would be thrilled with that gift. It is amazingly generous.
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| Posted 7/14/16 10:28 AM |
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JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding gift- Is this ok? PLEASE BE HONEST
I would return the mixer and get something less expensive for the shower, and give cash at the wedding.
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| Posted 7/14/16 10:31 AM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding gift- Is this ok? PLEASE BE HONEST
Posted by mommy2be716
Posted by jerrysgirl
Posted by beachbabe
I would give cash
I agree.. Is the mixer on the registry?
Yeah the mixer is on her registry and she really wanted it. They already live together and didn't have much to choose from, so that's kind of how I got the idea for it.
Thank you everyone for the honesty- I really needed to hear the real opinions here! Because I know the mixer was something she did really want, I think I will give that to her for the wedding gift. I will wrap up the decorating set, cookbook, and get a few other small items and gift those at the shower.
I received a few physical gifts at my wedding (fine china, waterford, etc.), and it didn't bother me. Only annoying thing was carrying that stuff home after the wedding. I think I will drive the kitchen aid mixer over to her house a week or so before the wedding so that they already have it.
I think doing this is perfect. You know the mixer is something she really wants and it is very generous of you to get it for her - but I do think it has to be clear that it is the wedding gift, not shower gift.
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| Posted 7/14/16 10:41 AM |
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RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3999 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding gift- Is this ok? PLEASE BE HONEST
Posted by Kitten1929
I am a little confused by these responses.
LIF is the LAND OF CASH WEDDING GIFTS ALWAYS AND FOREVER.
I have always been under the impression that a shower gift was separate from the wedding (cash) gift.
I think the shower gift, while extravagant, was of your choosing and you shouldn't penalize the bride and groom for buying something expensive. I would also feel self consicous lugging a huge box to the wedding because you know people will be tittering.
Seriously penalize the bride and groom? Since when is buying a gift off the registery penalizing the bride and groom? It's an expensive gift and they should think the gift giver is generous for spending 400 bucks on it.
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| Posted 7/14/16 10:55 AM |
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shadows
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 4694 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding gift- Is this ok? PLEASE BE HONEST
Posted by mommy2be716
Posted by jerrysgirl
Posted by beachbabe
I would give cash
I agree.. Is the mixer on the registry?
Yeah the mixer is on her registry and she really wanted it. They already live together and didn't have much to choose from, so that's kind of how I got the idea for it.
Thank you everyone for the honesty- I really needed to hear the real opinions here! Because I know the mixer was something she did really want, I think I will give that to her for the wedding gift. I will wrap up the decorating set, cookbook, and get a few other small items and gift those at the shower.
I received a few physical gifts at my wedding (fine china, waterford, etc.), and it didn't bother me. Only annoying thing was carrying that stuff home after the wedding. I think I will drive the kitchen aid mixer over to her house a week or so before the wedding so that they already have it.
I think this is perfect.
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| Posted 7/14/16 11:02 AM |
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