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another post re: wedding gift advice

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Bxgell2
Perfection

Member since 5/05

16438 total posts

Name:
Beth

another post re: wedding gift advice

I'm in a wedding in a few weeks that's costing me an extraordinary amount of money - close to double what it cost this girl to be in my wedding. On top of that, she never got us a wedding gift. I've already spent about $100 on her engagement and shower gift, and an additional $1200 on the dress, alterations, the bachelorette and the shower.

I usually give between $200-$300 for a wedding, but hubby is saying we shouldn't give her anything considering how much we've already shelled out and the fact that she never gave us anything...

What do you think?

Posted 2/20/06 5:00 PM
 
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skew
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

6794 total posts

Name:

Re: another post re: wedding gift advice

follow her lead and skip the gift. you have already gone above and beyond.

Posted 2/20/06 5:03 PM
 

MissingLI
Such a Big Boy!

Member since 1/06

1602 total posts

Name:
C

Re: another post re: wedding gift advice

Maybe instead of getting her nothing at all, you can go and get a nice frame for one of her wedding pics. Then no one can say "she didn't even giver her a gift." Maybe even have their date engraved on it.

Posted 2/20/06 5:03 PM
 

LAMGAJ28
.

Member since 10/05

6039 total posts

Name:

Re: another post re: wedding gift advice

Being a Bridesmaid these days is very expensive. When I got married, I felt terrible for these girls spending so much money and I tried to keep everything to a minimum because of this. They didn't have to pay for my shower either. My sister who was the MOH did. And I'm so happy she did. I find it a little unfair that Bridesmaids need to spend so much money.....I think it's plenty when they spend just for the day of the wedding with the dress, makeup, etc...and they were all of very generous with their wedding and shower gifts as well which I didn't expect considering all the money they had already spent.
Even though she did not give you gifts for your wedding, I'd still give her a gift for hers.

Message edited 2/20/2006 5:08:08 PM.

Posted 2/20/06 5:06 PM
 

LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!

Member since 5/05

19454 total posts

Name:
L

Re: another post re: wedding gift advice

I would find something in the $20-40 range from her registry and give her that since she gave you nothing for your wedding. I would also not feel comfortable going to a wedding and giving nothing.

Posted 2/20/06 5:09 PM
 

05mommy09
Family of 5!

Member since 5/05

15364 total posts

Name:
<3 Mommy <3

Re: another post re: wedding gift advice

Posted by LSP2005

I would find something in the $20-40 range from her registry and give her that since she gave you nothing for your wedding.



Considering how much you already spent, I think this is a great idea!

Posted 2/20/06 7:58 PM
 

MRSJLK
LIF Toddler

Member since 10/05

472 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: another post re: wedding gift advice

You should put a 1 dollar bill in the card and write...sorry this was all that was left from my bank account Chat Icon

Posted 2/20/06 8:00 PM
 

dm24angel
Happiness

Member since 5/05

34581 total posts

Name:
Donna

Re: another post re: wedding gift advice

Posted by MrsFresca

Being a Bridesmaid these days is very expensive. When I got married, I felt terrible for these girls spending so much money and I tried to keep everything to a minimum because of this. They didn't have to pay for my shower either. My sister who was the MOH did. And I'm so happy she did. I find it a little unfair that Bridesmaids need to spend so much money.....I think it's plenty when they spend just for the day of the wedding with the dress, makeup, etc...and they were all of very generous with their wedding and shower gifts as well which I didn't expect considering all the money they had already spent.
Even though she did not give you gifts for your wedding, I'd still give her a gift for hers.



I agree....It is a shame that bm's are expected to pay soo much. I tried to do the best I could with my girls. I offered each of them many times to pay for their dress, or hair or make up if they wanted it and couldnt afford it, and I bought the jewelry so they wouldnt have to, and I spent a lot of money personalizing all their gifts to be able to give them something back. If you cant afford the gift, dont do it. A picture frame could constitute as a gift..thats what I would probably do.

Posted 2/20/06 8:02 PM
 

nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.

Member since 7/05

57538 total posts

Name:

Re: another post re: wedding gift advice

You are sure her wedding gift didn't get lost or misplaced? I'm not even sure how I'd handle finding that out, but I agree with the others.

Rather than get the $20-40 gift off of her registry, I'd opt for a picture frame that she's not going to know how much you spent on it. Hit Marshalls.

Posted 2/20/06 8:02 PM
 

anon
where's winter?

Member since 11/05

2209 total posts

Name:

xxxxxxx

Message edited 2/11/2007 8:06:12 PM.

Posted 2/20/06 8:13 PM
 

Bxgell2
Perfection

Member since 5/05

16438 total posts

Name:
Beth

Re: another post re: wedding gift advice

Posted by nrthshgrl

You are sure her wedding gift didn't get lost or misplaced? I'm not even sure how I'd handle finding that out, but I agree with the others.

Rather than get the $20-40 gift off of her registry, I'd opt for a picture frame that she's not going to know how much you spent on it. Hit Marshalls.[/QUOTE

Oh yeah, I know, she told me flat out she didn't get me a gift but under the "one year" rule she'd give it to us later. She even told me that this is what she did with all the weddings she was in ... needless to say, it has been well over a year and no gift... I think I'll pick up an inexpensive gift so at the very least I don't come empty-handed...

Posted 2/20/06 8:14 PM
 

MrsProfessor
hi

Member since 5/05

14279 total posts

Name:

Re: another post re: wedding gift advice

Yep, I'd say something small.

Posted 2/20/06 8:42 PM
 

dpli
Daylight savings :)

Member since 5/05

13973 total posts

Name:
D

Re: another post re: wedding gift advice

I agree with your husband. I think there is something seriously wrong in the world of weddings, when a friend who has already spent $1300 would even consider feeling guilty about not spending more Chat Icon

Posted 2/21/06 1:10 PM
 

CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!

Member since 5/05

14007 total posts

Name:

Re: another post re: wedding gift advice

Posted by skew

follow her lead and skip the gift. you have already gone above and beyond.



I agree.

Posted 2/21/06 1:13 PM
 

Baboots
I miss you grandma

Member since 8/05

1437 total posts

Name:

Re: another post re: wedding gift advice

This is why I opted not to have a bridal party. I just think it's so unfair to put so many financial demands on people. Not everyone has a few extra thousand bucks in their bank account to do these sort of things. I would go with what one of the other girls wrote...about an engraved picture frame. You've spent over 1K already!!!! That's enough. and if she gets annoyed, oh well. You can only do what you can. She's lucky you've done as much as you have. Sorry for seeming so harsh, it's just that this sort of stuff makes me so angry Chat Icon , but here's a Chat Icon for you for all that you did. Chat Icon

Posted 2/21/06 1:17 PM
 

andri
LIF Infant

Member since 11/05

241 total posts

Name:

Re: another post re: wedding gift advice

Nada,niente!
I would give nothing. Not because you already gave too much..but because..why be her fool?

Posted 2/21/06 1:20 PM
 

dooodles
When you wish upon a star

Member since 5/05

11997 total posts

Name:
Because 2 people fell in love

Re: another post re: wedding gift advice

Posted by nrthshgrl

Rather than get the $20-40 gift off of her registry, I'd opt for a picture frame that she's not going to know how much you spent on it. Hit Marshalls.



I like this idea better than getting something off her registry. I wonder how many others are going to reciprocate her gift giving thoughts as well since she takes so long at everyone else's wedding.

Posted 2/21/06 1:27 PM
 

monkeybride
My Everything

Member since 5/05

20541 total posts

Name:

Re: another post re: wedding gift advice

I'm with nada but I would probably have a hard time doing that as well. I say go for the frame from a discount store.

Posted 2/21/06 10:45 PM
 

CAJ
woulda, coulda, shoulda

Member since 12/05

3366 total posts

Name:
CJ

Re: another post re: wedding gift advice

zippo! What is good for you is good for her....

Posted 2/21/06 10:51 PM
 

dooodles
When you wish upon a star

Member since 5/05

11997 total posts

Name:
Because 2 people fell in love

Re: another post re: wedding gift advice

I wouldn't feel comfortable not giving some kind of gift. I think something wrapped instead of a monetary gift is still nice and keeping in lines of her stiffing you

Posted 2/22/06 7:53 AM
 

Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!

Member since 5/05

22334 total posts

Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids

Re: another post re: wedding gift advice

Posted by MRSJLK

You should put a 1 dollar bill in the card and write...sorry this was all that was left from my bank account Chat Icon



this has me cracking up!!

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 2/22/06 7:55 AM
 

Shelly
She's 7!!!

Member since 8/05

14624 total posts

Name:

Re: another post re: wedding gift advice

I agree with the picture frame idea.

I have a relative who never gave me a gift. I let it go. A few months ago (18 months after my wedding) he tells me that he was going through his check registry and the check to me was never cashed. I told him I never received it. He was so apologietic and told me he would send out a new check ASAP. Meanwhile, 3 months later and I still haven't gotten anything and he hasn't contacted me even though we are always on IM at the same time. Chat Icon Something tells me there really was no first check Chat Icon

He is getting engaged soon and I would never consider going to a wedding empty handed, but I would get a small gift- maybe from an outlet.

Posted 2/22/06 9:38 AM
 

pinky
Twin Moms Do Everything Twice

Member since 5/05

9612 total posts

Name:

Re: another post re: wedding gift advice

Posted by MRSJLK

You should put a 1 dollar bill in the card and write...sorry this was all that was left from my bank account Chat Icon



Chat Icon

Posted 2/22/06 5:40 PM
 
 

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