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newlywedT
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/11 793 total posts
Name:
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Birthday gift question (amount to spend)
A friend of mine is having a birthday party for his child in a few weeks.
We decided to give a Gift Card but my wife and I cannot agree on the amount.
I want to give more because he is a friend of mine, plus I'm sure they aren't doing as well as us and they have multiple children.
My wife thinks we should give a bit less because: The party is at the house and she says that people usually give based on the location of the party If we give more, then he would feel obligated to give the same amount back for our kid's birthday (which I guess is true) which would be tougher on them financially.
What do you all think?
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Posted 6/27/16 11:11 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name: ..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Birthday gift question (amount to spend)
I don't give based on where the party is. If they chose to have it at a pricey venue that's on them. Why should someone choosing to be fiscally responsible and have it at their home be penalized?
If it's a good family friend, I'd probably give a $50 gift card
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Posted 6/27/16 11:16 AM |
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Kitten1929
LIF Adult
Member since 1/13 6040 total posts
Name:
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Birthday gift question (amount to spend)
I think you're overthinking it and I think your wife is wrong to say the party at home means they get a lesser gift.
I can't imagine that they would expect anything more than a $30 or $40 gift. Unless it's close family or best friends, that is my general budget.
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Posted 6/27/16 11:18 AM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo

Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday gift question (amount to spend)
Posted by newlywedT
If we give more, then he would feel obligated to give the same amount back for our kid's birthday (which I guess is true) which would be tougher on them financially.
Good point and this would worry me if they don't have it to give.
Not sure how old the child is. But for my friends, kids most are under 11, I give either $30 or spend $30.
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Posted 6/27/16 11:19 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!

Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday gift question (amount to spend)
$30-50 would be my limit for a child's bday gift
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Posted 6/27/16 11:22 AM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult

Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Birthday gift question (amount to spend)
I can't imagine you and your wife could be that far apart. If she wants to give 15 and you want to give 75, you're both way off. Otherwise just try to meet in the middle. I'd typically spend 25-30 and for a very close friend maybe closer to 50 but that's a lot imo.
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Posted 6/27/16 11:30 AM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult

Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Birthday gift question (amount to spend)
I understand your wife's concern about the family feeling the need to reciprocate the gift amount, but I do not base my gift on where the party is being held - for any type of event. I think anywhere in the $30-$50 ranges is reasonable. As a pp suggested, can you meet in the middle between your wife's amount and yours?
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Posted 6/27/16 11:44 AM |
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newlywedT
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/11 793 total posts
Name:
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Birthday gift question (amount to spend)
The birthday party is for twins.
I was thinking of getting each a $20 gift and then a $100 giftcard for both of them. She didn't say an exact amount but she said that is a bit much.
So then I was thinking of no gift (they have a small house so not much room for more stuff) and then just a $100 gift card.
But the concern of them feeling like they have to give X dollars back is still there.
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Posted 6/27/16 12:07 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name: ..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Birthday gift question (amount to spend)
Posted by newlywedT
The birthday party is for twins.
I was thinking of getting each a $20 gift and then a $100 giftcard for both of them. She didn't say an exact amount but she said that is a bit much.
So then I was thinking of no gift (they have a small house so not much room for more stuff) and then just a $100 gift card.
But the concern of them feeling like they have to give X dollars back is still there.
I wouldn't give both a giftcard and a gift for that amount.
I would just do $100 gift card- so $50 each.
That is very generous.
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Posted 6/27/16 12:10 PM |
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OhBoyorGirl
LIF Adult
Member since 2/12 1789 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday gift question (amount to spend)
Posted by NervousNell
I wouldn't give both a giftcard and a gift for that amount.
I would just do $100 gift card- so $50 each.
That is very generous.
ITA. And if they feel the need to reciprocate down the line, that's on them and not for you to feel guilty about.
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Posted 6/27/16 12:13 PM |
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TwinDani
We are complete <3

Member since 3/11 1750 total posts
Name: Danielle
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Birthday gift question (amount to spend)
I usually give good friends kids a gift that is around $40. . I have twins and would get each one their own gift card to spend the way they want to. I never decide based on where the party is it is always the same amount.
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Posted 6/27/16 12:15 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!

Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday gift question (amount to spend)
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by newlywedT
The birthday party is for twins.
I was thinking of getting each a $20 gift and then a $100 giftcard for both of them. She didn't say an exact amount but she said that is a bit much.
So then I was thinking of no gift (they have a small house so not much room for more stuff) and then just a $100 gift card.
But the concern of them feeling like they have to give X dollars back is still there.
I wouldn't give both a giftcard and a gift for that amount.
I would just do $100 gift card- so $50 each.
That is very generous.
This!!
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Posted 6/27/16 12:35 PM |
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JandJ1224

Member since 6/06 5911 total posts
Name: Jannette
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Re: Birthday gift question (amount to spend)
Assuming its not a first birthday I normally give around $25-30 for birthday party gift. I think $50 each is very generous. I would do separate gift card/cards.
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Posted 6/27/16 12:36 PM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves

Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name: Rebecca
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Birthday gift question (amount to spend)
I also do not give more because a party is out rather than at home. I hate that mentality in general, because 1. a party at home is not necessarily cheaper than a party out and 2. if they are having a party at home to save money, then that person could probably benefit from a little more generosity than the one who can afford a more lavish affair.
For a close friend's child I'd give $50 only. For twins I might cut it down to $40 each because all these parties add up, friends or not.
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Posted 6/27/16 12:43 PM |
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bunnyluck
LIF Adult
Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
Name:
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Birthday gift question (amount to spend)
In my experience, most people give gifts between $20-$50 for a child's birthday, more for a milestone birthday. I'd say MOST range around $30. It's just a birthday party. We all have them lol. I wouldn't go crazy. And I actually think it's inappropriate to give too much to a child for a birthday unless you are close family or have okayed it with the parents.
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Posted 6/27/16 12:56 PM |
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newlywedT
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/11 793 total posts
Name:
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Birthday gift question (amount to spend)
The kids are too young to get the money anyway (they are 2)
The money would basically be for the parents, that's why I was just thinking 1 gift card.
Im actually thinking of a money card rather than a Toys R Us/Buy Buy Baby/Gymboree card because with the money card there's more flexibility.
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Posted 6/27/16 1:18 PM |
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M514
Hi
Member since 8/10 6011 total posts
Name:
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Birthday gift question (amount to spend)
I think $100 gift card for both is fine. When my DD gets money for her bday, it goes right into her savings account. The money isn't for me or my DH. If she gets a store gift card, then she gets to go shopping and pick something out.
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Posted 6/27/16 1:40 PM |
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RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3999 total posts
Name:
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Birthday gift question (amount to spend)
$100 is more than enough
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Posted 6/27/16 4:33 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Birthday gift question (amount to spend)
I'd do $50 each to Toys r us or Target.
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Posted 6/27/16 5:59 PM |
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MrsB12614
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1986 total posts
Name: Mrs
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Birthday gift question (amount to spend)
I would do $30 on each child's birthday gift. Our niece is turning one at the end of the summer and its DHs god child and we don't even plan on spending $100. I wouldn't go too crazy. It's very very thoughtful of you. If you feel money is best, I would just do the $100 and not give a gift such as a small toy.
Message edited 6/27/2016 8:30:36 PM.
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Posted 6/27/16 8:28 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!

Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name: g
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Re: Birthday gift question (amount to spend)
Posted by LuckyStar
I'd do $50 each to Toys r us or Target.
I agree
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Posted 6/28/16 10:33 PM |
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soontobemommyof2
My boys...my everything <3

Member since 4/15 3635 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday gift question (amount to spend)
Posted by gina409
Posted by LuckyStar
I'd do $50 each to Toys r us or Target.
I agree
Me too.
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Posted 6/28/16 11:28 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday gift question (amount to spend)
For a kids party, I spend $25. I don't care who the kid is or where the party is, LOL. (unless its my niece or nephew, than $50 for regular Bdays).
Thats it. Don't overthink it.
Message edited 6/29/2016 12:29:09 AM.
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Posted 6/29/16 12:28 AM |
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BsMomma2014
Fly high little one
Member since 6/10 2662 total posts
Name: nicole
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Birthday gift question (amount to spend)
I would spend $25-$30 on a child unless it is a milestone birthday then I spend more.
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Posted 6/29/16 7:02 AM |
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