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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Cincinnati Zoo incident
I read a story where a witness even said this was NOT a case of the mom being neglectful. The witness stated that the moment the child was not by her side, the mom started calling out for him and looking around frantically. They also mentioned it was like he was there one minute and gone the next.
Same witness said the father tried to jump into the cage to go after his son, and they had to stop him.
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Posted 5/31/16 9:17 PM  |
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Hopefulmama
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1014 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by Hopefulmama
Anecdotally I notice that some of the harshest critics of the mother (here and on my Facebook feed) either only have one child or two that are very spaced apart. From what I read this woman was with several young children. Sorry buts way harder to keep an eye on several toddlers than it is one toddler or a 9 year old and a 5 year old or something. This story really hit home because have triplet three year old boys (how inconvenient and irresponsible of me!) one of whom is mildly autistic and completely fascinated with water. We recently went to the queens zoo and he tried SEVERAL times to enter exhibits to get to the water. I was on him like white on rice but it was stressful and frightening as hell. Fortunately the queens zoo does not have gorillas, but we could have easily come across a pissed off quail ;)
This could have easily been me, but I'm glad those of you who can easily manage one child one one older child and one younger would have felt comfortable judging me.
Seriously, I worry about karma wayyyyy too much to ever go off about what a perfect mom I am and how something like this would NEVER happen to me. I wish I could be as convinced of my superiority as some of you are.
Eta - I posted this before reading the replies - but I know see several of you honed in on the same thing - that the most judgmental here likely have never been out in public managing several small children.
And some of us who have kids who are spaced apart still did not go out when they were younger as they didn't feel it was safe enough to chase after 2 or more kids. Common sense has left the building in the past few years. You can't have it all.
Well thanks for the judgement  I had heard the queens zoo was very accessible and easy to manage - I never would have dreamed how easy it would have been for my child to actually gain access to the restricted areas until I actually went there with a child who was so inclined. I sensibly then contained my child to his stroller and cut out trip short and crossed the Bronx zoo off our to do list. But I'm not going to stay indoors all summer out of fear. I have fond memories of family outings when I was a child and would never want to deprive my young, curious, inquisitive child of such experiences. How sad. I try a new place, I learn, I try again.
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| Posted 5/31/16 9:20 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9509 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by blessedmama
My kids were in strollers until 4. No 1 1/2 yr old should be walking in public, especially Disney. Not only is it dangerous that they could run away, it is a bother to others around you that have to make their way around a parent and child just learning to walk.
I'm sorry but a 4 year old is not just learning how to walk. My son started walking before he was 1 and he was riding a two wheeler with no training wheels before he was 3. 4 year olds can walk perfectly well and if you are at a place like the zoo or disney your kid is not going to be strapped in a stroller the whole time. I think you might be a little out of touch with having a toddler because your kids are so far from this stage.
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| Posted 5/31/16 9:23 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9509 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by Momof3boys
I have three kids VERY close in age! Just wondering if those who judge have more than 1 or 2 and just the age gap is?
For those who have multiples and singletons (all under Three or Four)....just curious as to your thoughts?
Not sure how many kids this mom had with her, but it's very hard to keep your eyes on all. Unless maybe you have eyes on the back of your head!
I am not the perfect mom (who is??), but I watch my three young kids very very closely when in public and when you have a crying baby and two more under three years old, it's quite difficult. I don't enjoy taking all of mine places alone. It's very stressful for me. If they are at a park, who do you run after and who do you turn your back on for that split second? It sucks. I usually leave one of mine at home with my husband for their safely and my sanity.
Hence the reason why some of us spaced our kids as we knew it wouldn't be a walk in the park and knew how much we would be able to handle things. I am sure all 4 of this woman's kids are very young. I don't know about her but the husband is a convicted felon.
OMG you are seriously insane. What if she was 40 when she had her first and had to move fast if she wanted another? What if her birth control failed and she didn't want to have an abortion? You are so seriously judgmental it never ceases to amaze me!
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| Posted 5/31/16 9:26 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by blessedmama
How do we even know he was with her. Maybe he was with his parole officer at that time lol
I know you think you're being hilarious and what not - and even mentioning before that he's a convicted felon, so I guess that means he must be a ****** dad....but this mentality sucks for those who try and change their ways.
The article I read about his criminal background said he served time back in 2006 and since then he has tried to turn his life around and has his children and works full time.
But none of that matters because he's a convicted felon so when the media pulls that info up, that's all people will read.
I have a family member who was into gangs and stupid shit when he was a teenager because of a terrible upbringing. He was arrested at 18 and is a convicted felon who served a little under a year. He is 24 now and he learned his lesson big time and left that life behind and tries to work to be better for his daughter. But he has the label forever and people who bring that out like its a reason someone can't be a good parent or something is unfair if you don't know the situation.
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| Posted 5/31/16 9:26 PM |
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Hopefulmama
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1014 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by lululu
Posted by blessedmama
My kids were in strollers until 4. No 1 1/2 yr old should be walking in public, especially Disney. Not only is it dangerous that they could run away, it is a bother to others around you that have to make their way around a parent and child just learning to walk.
I'm sorry but a 4 year old is not just learning how to walk. My son started walking before he was 1 and he was riding a two wheeler with no training wheels before he was 3. 4 year olds can walk perfectly well and if you are at a place like the zoo or disney your kid is not going to be strapped in a stroller the whole time. I think you might be a little out of touch with having a toddler because your kids are so far from this stage.
I agree. Strollers until 4 is absurd. I have an almost 4 yo with autism and cerebral palsy who we HAVE to keep in a stroller and none of the store brands even accommodate him comfortabley at this point and he's small! We had to get an adaptive stroller through our insurance. Sorry but it's NOT common place at all to confine a 4 year old to a stroller. Jeez, it's heavy pushing a 35-40 lb child around! Especially more than one! I think someone's recall is a little off.
Message edited 5/31/2016 9:29:36 PM.
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| Posted 5/31/16 9:28 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9509 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by phoenix913
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by Momof3boys
I have three kids VERY close in age! Just wondering if those who judge have more than 1 or 2 and just the age gap is?
For those who have multiples and singletons (all under Three or Four)....just curious as to your thoughts?
Not sure how many kids this mom had with her, but it's very hard to keep your eyes on all. Unless maybe you have eyes on the back of your head!
I am not the perfect mom (who is??), but I watch my three young kids very very closely when in public and when you have a crying baby and two more under three years old, it's quite difficult. I don't enjoy taking all of mine places alone. It's very stressful for me. If they are at a park, who do you run after and who do you turn your back on for that split second? It sucks. I usually leave one of mine at home with my husband for their safely and my sanity.
Hence the reason why some of us spaced our kids as we knew it wouldn't be a walk in the park and knew how much we would be able to handle things. I am sure all 4 of this woman's kids are very young. I don't know about her but the husband is a convicted felon.
There's that lack of empathy again. Wouldn't the world be a much nicer place if we just assumed she was a great mom who made a mistake until we learn otherwise?
No, I am just tired of parents not taking responsibility for their children.
I would love to know what she said on Facebook that she took down. I am still trying to see if she has prior child neglect cases on her too.
She worked at a Daycare center caring for others children so I doubt she has child neglect charges.
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| Posted 5/31/16 9:28 PM |
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blessedmama
LIF Infant
Member since 2/16 341 total posts
Name:
Heather`
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by lululu
Posted by blessedmama
My kids were in strollers until 4. No 1 1/2 yr old should be walking in public, especially Disney. Not only is it dangerous that they could run away, it is a bother to others around you that have to make their way around a parent and child just learning to walk.
I'm sorry but a 4 year old is not just learning how to walk. My son started walking before he was 1 and he was riding a two wheeler with no training wheels before he was 3. 4 year olds can walk perfectly well and if you are at a place like the zoo or disney your kid is not going to be strapped in a stroller the whole time. I think you might be a little out of touch with having a toddler because your kids are so far from this stage.
The other poster said 1 1/2 at Disney
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| Posted 5/31/16 9:28 PM |
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ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides
Member since 11/12 14481 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by blessedmama
I would love to know what she said on Facebook that she took down. I am still trying to see if she has prior child neglect cases on her too.
what she said
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| Posted 5/31/16 9:29 PM |
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blessedmama
LIF Infant
Member since 2/16 341 total posts
Name:
Heather`
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by lululu
Posted by blessedmama
My kids were in strollers until 4. No 1 1/2 yr old should be walking in public, especially Disney. Not only is it dangerous that they could run away, it is a bother to others around you that have to make their way around a parent and child just learning to walk.
I'm sorry but a 4 year old is not just learning how to walk. My son started walking before he was 1 and he was riding a two wheeler with no training wheels before he was 3. 4 year olds can walk perfectly well and if you are at a place like the zoo or disney your kid is not going to be strapped in a stroller the whole time. I think you might be a little out of touch with having a toddler because your kids are so far from this stage.
And yes they were 4 in strollers in crowded places. Maybe overprotective but they were safe and I didn't have to worry and be in the news.
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| Posted 5/31/16 9:30 PM |
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blessedmama
LIF Infant
Member since 2/16 341 total posts
Name:
Heather`
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by lululu
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by Momof3boys
I have three kids VERY close in age! Just wondering if those who judge have more than 1 or 2 and just the age gap is?
For those who have multiples and singletons (all under Three or Four)....just curious as to your thoughts?
Not sure how many kids this mom had with her, but it's very hard to keep your eyes on all. Unless maybe you have eyes on the back of your head!
I am not the perfect mom (who is??), but I watch my three young kids very very closely when in public and when you have a crying baby and two more under three years old, it's quite difficult. I don't enjoy taking all of mine places alone. It's very stressful for me. If they are at a park, who do you run after and who do you turn your back on for that split second? It sucks. I usually leave one of mine at home with my husband for their safely and my sanity.
Hence the reason why some of us spaced our kids as we knew it wouldn't be a walk in the park and knew how much we would be able to handle things. I am sure all 4 of this woman's kids are very young. I don't know about her but the husband is a convicted felon.
OMG you are seriously insane. What if she was 40 when she had her first and had to move fast if she wanted another? What if her birth control failed and she didn't want to have an abortion? You are so seriously judgmental it never ceases to amaze me!
She has 4 kids and 32
Message edited 5/31/2016 9:31:40 PM.
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| Posted 5/31/16 9:30 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9509 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by lululu
Posted by blessedmama
My kids were in strollers until 4. No 1 1/2 yr old should be walking in public, especially Disney. Not only is it dangerous that they could run away, it is a bother to others around you that have to make their way around a parent and child just learning to walk.
I'm sorry but a 4 year old is not just learning how to walk. My son started walking before he was 1 and he was riding a two wheeler with no training wheels before he was 3. 4 year olds can walk perfectly well and if you are at a place like the zoo or disney your kid is not going to be strapped in a stroller the whole time. I think you might be a little out of touch with having a toddler because your kids are so far from this stage.
And yes they were 4 in strollers in crowded places. Maybe overprotective but they were safe and I didn't have to worry and be in the news.
Yes maybe while you are walking around but you would let them out of the stroller to go on rides, see the shows, go into the exhibits, or else what would be the point? just to walk around disney all day?
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| Posted 5/31/16 9:33 PM |
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blessedmama
LIF Infant
Member since 2/16 341 total posts
Name:
Heather`
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by lululu
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by phoenix913
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by Momof3boys
I have three kids VERY close in age! Just wondering if those who judge have more than 1 or 2 and just the age gap is?
For those who have multiples and singletons (all under Three or Four)....just curious as to your thoughts?
Not sure how many kids this mom had with her, but it's very hard to keep your eyes on all. Unless maybe you have eyes on the back of your head!
I am not the perfect mom (who is??), but I watch my three young kids very very closely when in public and when you have a crying baby and two more under three years old, it's quite difficult. I don't enjoy taking all of mine places alone. It's very stressful for me. If they are at a park, who do you run after and who do you turn your back on for that split second? It sucks. I usually leave one of mine at home with my husband for their safely and my sanity.
Hence the reason why some of us spaced our kids as we knew it wouldn't be a walk in the park and knew how much we would be able to handle things. I am sure all 4 of this woman's kids are very young. I don't know about her but the husband is a convicted felon.
There's that lack of empathy again. Wouldn't the world be a much nicer place if we just assumed she was a great mom who made a mistake until we learn otherwise?
No, I am just tired of parents not taking responsibility for their children.
I would love to know what she said on Facebook that she took down. I am still trying to see if she has prior child neglect cases on her too.
She worked at a Daycare center caring for others children so I doubt she has child neglect charges.
She is an administrator, not a teacher but again I haven't seen that evidence so I don't believe it until I read or hear it.
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| Posted 5/31/16 9:33 PM |
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blessedmama
LIF Infant
Member since 2/16 341 total posts
Name:
Heather`
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by lululu
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by lululu
Posted by blessedmama
My kids were in strollers until 4. No 1 1/2 yr old should be walking in public, especially Disney. Not only is it dangerous that they could run away, it is a bother to others around you that have to make their way around a parent and child just learning to walk.
I'm sorry but a 4 year old is not just learning how to walk. My son started walking before he was 1 and he was riding a two wheeler with no training wheels before he was 3. 4 year olds can walk perfectly well and if you are at a place like the zoo or disney your kid is not going to be strapped in a stroller the whole time. I think you might be a little out of touch with having a toddler because your kids are so far from this stage.
And yes they were 4 in strollers in crowded places. Maybe overprotective but they were safe and I didn't have to worry and be in the news.
Yes maybe while you are walking around but you would let them out of the stroller to go on rides, see the shows, go into the exhibits, or else what would be the point? just to walk around disney all day?
No way out of my sight and right on top of them.
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| Posted 5/31/16 9:34 PM |
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Hopefulmama
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1014 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by lululu
Posted by blessedmama
My kids were in strollers until 4. No 1 1/2 yr old should be walking in public, especially Disney. Not only is it dangerous that they could run away, it is a bother to others around you that have to make their way around a parent and child just learning to walk.
I'm sorry but a 4 year old is not just learning how to walk. My son started walking before he was 1 and he was riding a two wheeler with no training wheels before he was 3. 4 year olds can walk perfectly well and if you are at a place like the zoo or disney your kid is not going to be strapped in a stroller the whole time. I think you might be a little out of touch with having a toddler because your kids are so far from this stage.
And yes they were 4 in strollers in crowded places. Maybe overprotective but they were safe and I didn't have to worry and be in the news.
See I think it's sad for a 4 year old to be confined to a stroller. My two able bodied boys explore the world on foot and I feel bad for my child who has no other option. Yeah, they were safe, but at a cost. You're safe if you never leave your house either, but again at a cost. I let my child toddle on foot as best he could at the zoo until it got too dangerous for me to be comfortable with and then I reluctantly put him back in his stroller. But I was sad to do it because it's not how kids should experience the world.
Hey look at that, guess I'm judgmental too :)
Message edited 5/31/2016 9:36:13 PM.
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| Posted 5/31/16 9:34 PM |
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Cincinnati Zoo incident
It seems to me that some parents use incidents like these to make themselves feel better about being a "better" parent. I think that speaks volumes about those parents more than this parent at the zoo.
Things happen. Accidents happen. This woman didn't drink and drive her with kids in the car. She didn't beat her kid senseless.
Some parents - mothers - are just so deeply insecure and it's really sad. It's not even worth debating or nitpicking. It's just really sad. That woman is holding her kid tightly I'm sure and happy he's alive.
No one gets a gold star or a medal for being "the best mom."
Message edited 5/31/2016 9:37:33 PM.
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| Posted 5/31/16 9:36 PM |
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Kate
*****
Member since 5/05 7557 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
It seems to me that some parents use incidents like these to make themselves feel better about being a "better" parent. I think that speaks volumes about those parents more than this parent at the zoo.
Things happen. Accidents happen. This woman didn't drink and drive her with kids in the car. She didn't beat her kid senseless.
Some parents - mothers - are just so deeply insecure and it's really sad. It's not even worth debating or nitpicking. It's just really sad. That woman is holding her kid tightly I'm sure and happy he's alive.
No one gets a gold star or a medal for being "the best mom."
 
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| Posted 5/31/16 9:42 PM |
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ChilisWife
God Bless America
Member since 5/05 3571 total posts
Name:
A.K.
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
It's unfortunate that the gorilla had to be killed. He did nothing wrong. But yeah, he HAD to be killed - sorry but a human life trumps an animal's life. Every time.
Regarding the Mom - it's crazy how nobody knows what happened other than rumors and yet we each have our own opinion about whether she is good or bad or negligent or whatever.
One thing is clear (to me) and that the Zoo is at least partially - if not mostly - at fault for not having a secure enclosure. If it was so easy for a child to quickly get to the gorilla then they are insanely negligent.
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| Posted 5/31/16 9:47 PM |
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blessedmama
LIF Infant
Member since 2/16 341 total posts
Name:
Heather`
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by ChilisWife
It's unfortunate that the gorilla had to be killed. He did nothing wrong. But yeah, he HAD to be killed - sorry but a human life trumps an animal's life. Every time.
Regarding the Mom - it's crazy how nobody knows what happened other than rumors and yet we each have our own opinion about whether she is good or bad or negligent or whatever.
One thing is clear (to me) and that the Zoo is at least partially - if not mostly - at fault for not having a secure enclosure. If it was so easy for a child to quickly get to the gorilla then they are insanely negligent.
I guess when they made the enclosure they thought that it was safe enough and that parents would be attentive to their kids they were with.
I wonder how parents would feel if this woman was watching their child and this happened.
Also if the father was with her, why was he not watching the child if she was busy with another child?
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| Posted 5/31/16 9:51 PM |
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Sparrow
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 6826 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
It seems to me that some parents use incidents like these to make themselves feel better about being a "better" parent. I think that speaks volumes about those parents more than this parent at the zoo.
Things happen. Accidents happen. This woman didn't drink and drive her with kids in the car. She didn't beat her kid senseless.
Some parents - mothers - are just so deeply insecure and it's really sad. It's not even worth debating or nitpicking. It's just really sad. That woman is holding her kid tightly I'm sure and happy he's alive.
No one gets a gold star or a medal for being "the best mom."
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| Posted 5/31/16 9:53 PM |
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
It seems to me that some parents use incidents like these to make themselves feel better about being a "better" parent. I think that speaks volumes about those parents more than this parent at the zoo.
Things happen. Accidents happen. This woman didn't drink and drive her with kids in the car. She didn't beat her kid senseless.
Some parents - mothers - are just so deeply insecure and it's really sad. It's not even worth debating or nitpicking. It's just really sad. That woman is holding her kid tightly I'm sure and happy he's alive.
No one gets a gold star or a medal for being "the best mom."
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| Posted 5/31/16 9:54 PM |
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seaside
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 3101 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
It seems to me that some parents use incidents like these to make themselves feel better about being a "better" parent. I think that speaks volumes about those parents more than this parent at the zoo.
Things happen. Accidents happen. This woman didn't drink and drive her with kids in the car. She didn't beat her kid senseless.
Some parents - mothers - are just so deeply insecure and it's really sad. It's not even worth debating or nitpicking. It's just really sad. That woman is holding her kid tightly I'm sure and happy he's alive.
No one gets a gold star or a medal for being "the best mom."
http://www.vox.com/2016/5/31/11818858/harambe-gorilla-michelle-gregg-mob-justice
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| Posted 5/31/16 10:01 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9509 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by blessedmama
I guess when they made the enclosure they thought that it was safe enough and that parents would be attentive to their kids they were with.
The zoo should never ever assume that parents will be attentive to their children. If they do that's negligent. There will always be parents that are out to lunch and not paying attention to their kids. It sounds like this was not the case for this mother but I am sure there are plenty of negligent parents everywhere.
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| Posted 5/31/16 10:02 PM |
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ChilisWife
God Bless America
Member since 5/05 3571 total posts
Name:
A.K.
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
It's very easy to blame the mom in retrospect. I feel like I am a super vigilant, overprotective helicopter mom but sometimes things happen that you have no control over. It literally takes one second of tending to child #1 and child #2 is just gone. Just the other day at school I picked up my son from school and we were walking home when all of a sudden his friend was right behind us - alone - because he had run off from his mother to catch up with us. I had to backtrack with him to find his mom, she was FRANTIC.
I remember threads on here from a few weeks ago - maybe on another board - about letting young kids go on vacation with another family (without you) and another thread about letting kids stay home alone, and some people were saying that it was perfectly find to do these things at age 10 or 11. That may be the case, but I bet if something happened to one of those kids, people on the internet would be ALL OVER the parents for "letting" it happen and not supervising their own kids properly, etc. It doesn't make anyone a bad parent.
Sometimes things happen, bad things, and it doesn't mean someone is at fault.
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| Posted 5/31/16 10:04 PM |
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JSDB
<3
Member since 1/13 1329 total posts
Name:
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Re: Cincinnati Zoo incident
Posted by ChilisWife
It's unfortunate that the gorilla had to be killed. He did nothing wrong. But yeah, he HAD to be killed - sorry but a human life trumps an animal's life. Every time.
Regarding the Mom - it's crazy how nobody knows what happened other than rumors and yet we each have our own opinion about whether she is good or bad or negligent or whatever.
One thing is clear (to me) and that the Zoo is at least partially - if not mostly - at fault for not having a secure enclosure. If it was so easy for a child to quickly get to the gorilla then they are insanely negligent.
this
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| Posted 5/31/16 10:05 PM |
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