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luvbuffet
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 6470 total posts
Name:
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Message edited 4/27/2016 12:27:19 PM.
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Posted 4/27/16 10:37 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
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Re: pls dont quote
Why did the bp decide no shower? I think the MOH should try to speak to the bp
What does the bride want?
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| Posted 4/27/16 10:38 AM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: pls dont quote
Posted by Straightarrow
Why did the bp decide no shower? I think the MOH should try to speak to the bp
What does the bride want?
This
If the bride really wanted a shower, wtf is her family and BP denying her this shower?
If she wants it, id have a small gtg of friends at MOH house or gather for brunch and give small shower to make the bride happy. If her BP and family refuse to do one, then MOH can do her own thing
ET: I was MOH for my BFF. If her mother or rest of BP didn't want to throw Her a shower but she had said she wanted one, I would have thrown her a full out shower and invited her mom and BP as well as any other guests she wanted. Her family could come or not - but she would have her shower !
Message edited 4/27/2016 10:47:13 AM.
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| Posted 4/27/16 10:41 AM |
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Loveme
LIF Adult
Member since 6/11 3170 total posts
Name:
Me
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pls dont quote
Is the brides mom around? Future MIL? Do they want to throw her a shower? I would reach out to them if possible and see if you can come together and host something for her.
If not I would maybe host a small brunch at your place and invite only those she wants there.
Sorry to hear this, it sounds like a tough situation
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| Posted 4/27/16 10:41 AM |
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Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU
Member since 3/07 13921 total posts
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ETC I LOVE YOU
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Re: pls dont quote
Why would the bp NOT want the bride to have a shower??
If they know the bride wants one and is upset about it?
Not cool!
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| Posted 4/27/16 10:42 AM |
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BabyBearA
LIF Adult
Member since 7/11 1254 total posts
Name:
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Re: pls dont quote
Posted by PhyllisNJoe
Posted by Straightarrow
Why did the bp decide no shower? I think the MOH should try to speak to the bp
What does the bride want?
This
If the bride really wanted a shower, wtf is her family and BP denying her this shower?
If she wants it, id have a small gtg of friends at MOH house or gather for brunch and give small shower to make the bride happy. If her BP and family refuse to do one, then MOH can do her own thing
ET: I was MOH for my BFF. If her mother or rest of BP didn't want to throw Her a shower but she had said she wanted one, I would have grown her a full out shower and invited her mom and BP as well as any other guests she wanted. Her family could come or not - but she would have her shower !
This!!!
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| Posted 4/27/16 10:44 AM |
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luvbuffet
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 6470 total posts
Name:
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Re: pls dont quote
Message edited 4/27/2016 12:25:58 PM.
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| Posted 4/27/16 10:47 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: pls dont quote
Definitely the MOH should throw a smaller shower if nobody else wants to and the bride wants it.
Close friends, lunch or brunch, or something at home since money will be an issue with no outside help from the rest of the bp
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| Posted 4/27/16 10:48 AM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: pls dont quote
if the bride really wants ones I would throw something for her. if finances is an issue (because showers can add up) I would talk to her fiancé and see if he can help out or maybe his family can.
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| Posted 4/27/16 10:48 AM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: pls dont quote
{remove quotes because I realized you asked no to quote  }
the rest of the bridal party are assholess and their excuse makes no sense. are they jealous of her??!!
ETA: could they just be using this as an excuse and money really is the issue. maybe try hosting at a house or a VFW hall/fire house. IMO showers really don't need to be that fancy. but I don't think the MOH should have to pay for all of it herself.
Message edited 4/27/2016 10:52:11 AM.
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| Posted 4/27/16 10:49 AM |
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kmr6107
LIF Toddler
Member since 7/07 463 total posts
Name:
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Re: pls dont quote
I would reconsider who is in my bp. How do they get to decide the bride doesn't get a shower. But I would reach out to her mother or future mother in law. If they couldn't host I would definitely throw the bride a shower with her closest friends and others who are happy for her and want to celebrate her.
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| Posted 4/27/16 10:49 AM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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pls dont quote
I think a small brunch is perfect. It's less costly for the MOH and it keeps obnoxious family members away so the bride can enjoy her day.
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| Posted 4/27/16 10:50 AM |
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BabyFever
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 1050 total posts
Name:
XXXXXXXXXX
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pls dont quote
Maybe the MOH can get some close friends and do something atone of their homes to keep prices down. Evey one can bring some food. Small intimate. If she doesn't have a place yet even more reason to have a shower. DOes she have a registry?
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| Posted 4/27/16 10:54 AM |
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kmr6107
LIF Toddler
Member since 7/07 463 total posts
Name:
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Re: pls dont quote
Posted by luvbuffet
their reasoning is because bride doesnt have a place of her own yet  
moh would throw her a shower but guest list is 50 people and it will be a month before her own wedding. shower will be in a few weeks. 4k shower + wedding expenses + her own wedding.. its a bit much.
Isn't that the purpose of showers (or used to be) that the couple is just starting off and the shower helps them get the stuff for their house/place they will have after they are married????
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| Posted 4/27/16 10:55 AM |
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Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU
Member since 3/07 13921 total posts
Name:
ETC I LOVE YOU
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Re: pls dont quote
Posted by kmr6107
I would reconsider who is in my bp. How do they get to decide the bride doesn't get a shower. But I would reach out to her mother or future mother in law. If they couldn't host I would definitely throw the bride a shower with her closest friends and others who are happy for her and want to celebrate her.
This. Wtf kind of bridal party is this to decide the bride doesnt get a shower. Im fuming mad!!!
Maybe have a small get together at someones house. Invite a few friends that are actually happy for the bride
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| Posted 4/27/16 10:55 AM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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pls dont quote
Small bridal shower thrown by MOH, excluding the idiotic family members who don't want to hold a shower. Brunch or lunch either at home or restaurant - either way, cost shouldn't be too bad if it's a small group (and doing it at a place it much less work - call, make a reservation, order some flowers buy a few decorations, done! )
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| Posted 4/27/16 10:57 AM |
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Loveme
LIF Adult
Member since 6/11 3170 total posts
Name:
Me
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pls dont quote
Their reasoning is terrible! Will the bride and groom not be living on their own together after the wedding? Then of course they need things. Where is the girls mother and her mother-in-law? I'm surprised they don't want to throw her a shower. The bridal party sounds like a bunch of jealous girls.
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| Posted 4/27/16 10:57 AM |
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luvbuffet
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 6470 total posts
Name:
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Re: pls dont quote
Message edited 4/27/2016 12:26:07 PM.
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| Posted 4/27/16 11:01 AM |
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luvbuffet
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 6470 total posts
Name:
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Re: pls dont quote
Message edited 4/27/2016 12:26:17 PM.
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| Posted 4/27/16 11:02 AM |
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HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!
Member since 9/07 7816 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: pls dont quote
This bridal party is a piece of work! I'm actually mad for her!! Who are they to decide if she should have a shower or not?!
If I was the MOH, the first thing I would do is reach out to the mother of the bride and the MIL and find out if they would like to contribute at all. If not, then I would absolutely throw her a shower. Considering money is an option since MOH's wedding is also coming up, I would probably host it at someone's house and try to keep costs down as much as possible. But the bride should have a shower....even if it's smaller scale than she had hoped, she should have something! And personally, I would exclude the rest of the BP from it since they clearly don't think it's important
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| Posted 4/27/16 11:03 AM |
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luvbuffet
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 6470 total posts
Name:
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Re: pls dont quote
Message edited 4/27/2016 12:26:27 PM.
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| Posted 4/27/16 11:08 AM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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pls dont quote
Since MOH is concerned that the BP will decide to show up if she throws a small shower, I would go to them, tell them the plan and that they have 2 options - be involved (in all ways, incl $$$), or they can stick to their original plan and do nothing and not be involved in any way, including not coming, and that the MOH will go ahead with her plan for a SMALL shower. Make it VERY clear to them that they are ALL IN or ALL OUT (and I would probably also throw into that conversation (in some "nice" way that they are being real azzholes and really hurting their family member and that their "reason" for not holding a shower is the WHOLE ENTIRE PURPOSE of showers to begin with! lol)
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| Posted 4/27/16 11:11 AM |
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luvbuffet
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 6470 total posts
Name:
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Re: pls dont quote
Message edited 4/27/2016 12:26:37 PM.
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| Posted 4/27/16 11:13 AM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: pls dont quote
Good for you. She's lucky to have you as her MOH. She obviously needs someone in her corner and I'm glad she has you.
Small group close friends. If $ is an issue, do a potluck lunch. Everyone brigs something. Decorations dont have to be too expensive to be thoughtful.
She'll appreciate your hard work.
We hope to have just 1 wedding. Which means just 1 bridal shower. She shouldn't be denied
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| Posted 4/27/16 11:14 AM |
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Lauren82
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 4580 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: pls dont quote
Posted by chilltocam
Since MOH is concerned that the BP will decide to show up if she throws a small shower, I would go to them, tell them the plan and that they have 2 options - be involved (in all ways, incl $$$), or they can stick to their original plan and do nothing and not be involved in any way, including not coming, and that the MOH will go ahead with her plan for a SMALL shower. Make it VERY clear to them that they are ALL IN or ALL OUT (and I would probably also throw into that conversation (in some "nice" way that they are being real azzholes and really hurting their family member and that their "reason" for not holding a shower is the WHOLE ENTIRE PURPOSE of showers to begin with! lol)
I agree with this completely.
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| Posted 4/27/16 11:15 AM |
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