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Mom0710
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/14 682 total posts
Name:
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"Don't tell anyone..."
Who does that apply to? Like my Dh got a call from his brother with good news. He told him not to tell anyone. So he told me I won't tell anyone because it's not my place, but do you think it applies to your SO? Like I won't tell my sil or anyone else really... I know he doesn't want his mom to know and I will honor that.
So who does that statement apply to?
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Posted 2/9/16 2:40 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Anyone but DH
ETA: this obviously depends on what it is.
Message edited 2/9/2016 3:31:04 PM.
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| Posted 2/9/16 2:53 PM |
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WhatNow
Say Cheese!
Member since 1/06 8033 total posts
Name:
A (formerly WhatNow?)
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
I think don't tell ANYONE means just that: don't tell ANYONE, husband or not.
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| Posted 2/9/16 3:06 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Posted by WhatNow
I think don't tell ANYONE means just that: don't tell ANYONE, husband or not.
I agree.
But I still will say "please dont tell anyone, not even your husband " just to be very clear.
I just did this over the weekend.
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| Posted 2/9/16 3:12 PM |
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SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1770 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Posted by WhatNow
I think don't tell ANYONE means just that: don't tell ANYONE, husband or not.
It means don't tell anyone. Even if your picky about who you tell, that person will tell someone and then that person will tell someone. It doesn't end and then everyone knows.
I hope my family and friends don't think it's ok to pick and choose who they tell if I've specifically asked them not to tell anyone.
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| Posted 2/9/16 3:13 PM |
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PearlJamChick
No one sings like you anymore.
Member since 7/10 9264 total posts
Name:
Petticoated Swashbuckler
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Posted by WhatNow
I think don't tell ANYONE means just that: don't tell ANYONE, husband or not.
That's how I feel.
A lot of people have told me "Don't tell anyone..." and I never do. I'm really good at keeping things quiet.
So good that I rarely ever say to a person "don't tell anyone..." I just keep things to myself if I don't want anyone else to know. My DH and my best friend are the only two people that I would trust to keep things quiet 100%, to infinity and beyond.
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| Posted 2/9/16 3:20 PM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Don't tell anyone means just that
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| Posted 2/9/16 3:30 PM |
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Mom0710
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/14 682 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Posted by PearlJamChick
Posted by WhatNow
I think don't tell ANYONE means just that: don't tell ANYONE, husband or not.
That's how I feel.
A lot of people have told me "Don't tell anyone..." and I never do. I'm really good at keeping things quiet.
So good that I rarely ever say to a person "don't tell anyone..." I just keep things to myself if I don't want anyone else to know. My DH and my best friend are the only two people that I would trust to keep things quiet 100%, to infinity and beyond.
I get this. I know my Dh trusts me not to repeat anything. There is no one that I would tell that it would get back to my bil.
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| Posted 2/9/16 4:37 PM |
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Sparrow
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 6826 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Posted by WhatNow
I think don't tell ANYONE means just that: don't tell ANYONE, husband or not.
I agree, I think its pretty clear. It drives me nuts when people think that excludes their spouse.
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| Posted 2/9/16 7:41 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
it means, don't tell anyone.....but your DH. I get what it means, but I will tell DH sometimes.
Message edited 2/9/2016 8:19:19 PM.
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| Posted 2/9/16 8:18 PM |
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blessedmama
LIF Infant
Member since 2/16 341 total posts
Name:
Heather`
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
I will tell my dh unless I really don't want him to know or the person literally asks me not to tell him. My friends know we tell each other almost everything.
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| Posted 2/9/16 8:28 PM |
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Mom0710
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/14 682 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Posted by 2BadSoSad
it means, don't tell anyone.....but your DH. I get what it means, but I will tell DH sometimes.
Right... I mean it's not life or death stuff. Infinite same with him..
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| Posted 2/9/16 9:41 PM |
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Adri
Joy!
Member since 5/05 3116 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
For me, it depends. If it is a personal matter, I won't tell anyone, including DH. If it is a general thing that occurred to another person, and a third one is telling me and asking me not to tell anyone, I'd tell DH but I'd ask him not to "tell anyone"
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| Posted 2/9/16 10:55 PM |
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tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
It depends- my boss told me something about her personal life, and she said don't tell anyone, and I took that to me anyone at work , or anyone that knows her or her husband.
I did tell my husband ( it wasn't scandalous )
on the other hand, a mutual friend told my dh not to tall anyone something & he didn't tell me, b/c the friend wanted to tell me himself (like a day later)
I don't have many secrets, but I am usually very specific- don't tell anyone at work , or don't tell my mom yet, or don't put it on Facebook, etc.
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| Posted 2/9/16 11:09 PM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Posted by Adri
For me, it depends. If it is a personal matter, I won't tell anyone, including DH. If it is a general thing that occurred to another person, and a third one is telling me and asking me not to tell anyone, I'd tell DH but I'd ask him not to "tell anyone"
Yes, this.
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| Posted 2/9/16 11:14 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
For me, it's don't tell anyone except DH and my BFF (who I tell more than DH).
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| Posted 2/10/16 7:01 AM |
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Sparrow
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 6826 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
I'm amazed at how many people think this means you are assumed to be telling your DH. If you were my friend, I would NOT be assuming you were telling your spouse. I will keep this in mind going forward. I certainly have told very close friends things that I wouldn't tell their DH's. They are not the same person, I'm friends with my friend, not her DH. I don't get this logic at all, it's not like you share a brain.
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| Posted 2/10/16 7:26 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
I tell DH everything, I really can't think of anything that the two of us don't share..............even if someone said to one of us, "don't tell anyone". (which rarely ever happens) He's really the only one I would tell if someone said that (and vice versa), UNLESS it was something REALLY personal that person didn't want anyone to know. Everyone else would be off limits and I'd honor the "don't tell anyone".
On the flip side, I assume that if I say that to someone, they are going to tell their spouse..........it's just how it goes.
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| Posted 2/10/16 7:57 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Message edited 2/10/2016 8:03:00 AM.
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| Posted 2/10/16 8:00 AM |
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Sparrow
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 6826 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Posted by Hofstra26
I tell DH everything, I really can't think of anything that the two of us don't share..............even if someone said to one of us, "don't tell anyone". (which rarely ever happens) He's really the only one I would tell if someone said that (and vice versa), UNLESS it was something REALLY personal that person didn't want anyone to know. Everyone else would be off limits and I'd honor the "don't tell anyone".
On the flip side, I assume that if I say that to someone, they are going to tell their spouse..........it's just how it goes.
But why? I just don't understand this. It's not like he needs to know (unless it directly involves him). Just to tell him because you can? Obviously it's a sensitive subject if they're telling you not to tell anyone.
If I intended to turn around and tell my husband, I would let my friend know that. Otherwise, I would consider yo to not be very trustworthy.
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| Posted 2/10/16 8:30 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Posted by Sparrow
Posted by Hofstra26
I tell DH everything, I really can't think of anything that the two of us don't share..............even if someone said to one of us, "don't tell anyone". (which rarely ever happens) He's really the only one I would tell if someone said that (and vice versa), UNLESS it was something REALLY personal that person didn't want anyone to know. Everyone else would be off limits and I'd honor the "don't tell anyone".
On the flip side, I assume that if I say that to someone, they are going to tell their spouse..........it's just how it goes.
But why? I just don't understand this. It's not like he needs to know (unless it directly involves him). Just to tell him because you can? Obviously it's a sensitive subject if they're telling you not to tell anyone.
If I intended to turn around and tell my husband, I would let my friend know that. Otherwise, I would consider yo to not be very trustworthy.
It's not like I specifically run to him to tell him but we're always talking about everything and anything so things come up.
It's not worth trying to "understand", everyone has a different relationship with their DH and for me (and others it seems) nothing is off limits. It doesn't make me "not trustworthy", I'm not telling everyone I know and plastering it all over FB, it's just my spouse who would literally tell nobody the things I tell him.
ETA - On the rare occasion someone says "don't tell anyone" it's usually nothing that's a big deal if my DH knows. More often than not, it's NOT sensitive, personal stuff.........it's usually nothing major but instead info they just don't want the world to know right now. Like the OP mentioned her BIL got a new job, what is the big deal if she knows that?? It' not personal, just not public knowledge yet.
Message edited 2/10/2016 8:48:02 AM.
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| Posted 2/10/16 8:41 AM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Posted by WhatNow
I think don't tell ANYONE means just that: don't tell ANYONE, husband or not.
This.
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| Posted 2/10/16 8:55 AM |
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ready2go
LIF Adult
Member since 1/08 2379 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Posted by JennZ
Posted by WhatNow
I think don't tell ANYONE means just that: don't tell ANYONE, husband or not.
This.
Same here.
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| Posted 2/10/16 9:04 AM |
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AudioLoveStory
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/10 538 total posts
Name:
Lindsay
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
I will always tell DH. A big component of our marriage is not having ANY secrets from each other, no matter how small. If I didn't tell him, I would feel like I'm lying. My friends would have to accept that, and they all do!
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| Posted 2/10/16 9:08 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Posted by Sparrow
Posted by Hofstra26
I tell DH everything, I really can't think of anything that the two of us don't share..............even if someone said to one of us, "don't tell anyone". (which rarely ever happens) He's really the only one I would tell if someone said that (and vice versa), UNLESS it was something REALLY personal that person didn't want anyone to know. Everyone else would be off limits and I'd honor the "don't tell anyone".
On the flip side, I assume that if I say that to someone, they are going to tell their spouse..........it's just how it goes.
But why? I just don't understand this. It's not like he needs to know (unless it directly involves him). Just to tell him because you can? Obviously it's a sensitive subject if they're telling you not to tell anyone.
If I intended to turn around and tell my husband, I would let my friend know that. Otherwise, I would consider yo to not be very trustworthy.
Also, I should point out that we don't have any separate friends which I think makes a difference. ALL of our friends are mutual and have been since we've been together in high school. We met in 10th grade through mutual friends and even as we've gotten older and made newer friends, they too are mutual. So it's not like I have a girlfriend that doesn't really know or hang out with my DH and he has no guy friends that are independent of me.
So when you have a mutual set of friends, sharing everything is less of a big deal because we're ALL friends, I think that changes the dynamic a lot.
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| Posted 2/10/16 9:29 AM |
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