Re: Going to College Out of State

How far away does she want to go? Frankly the logistics of getting to, say, Rutgers would intimidate me less than SUNY Potsdam (by the Canadian border).

Fwiw I went to college 4.5 hours away and didn't have a car. I made friends that lived on LI and always got rides home so my parents didn't have to take me ;)

As a guidance/college counselor, most families put some kind of distance restrictions on their kids. Sometimes the reasons are cultural while others just don't want to pay for plane tickets. But it's important that you have this conversation BEFORE she applies. There is nothing worse than a hysterically crying hs senior in late spring. Pm me if you want to talk!

Going to College Out of State

My daughter also wants to go away, but I am limiting her to a 5 hour drive or so. I know she will be fine being away, but I don't want to have to trek that far when she wants to come home for a holiday or summer. I'm pushing her to apply at SUNY schools even though she wants to go private. She has money put away, but I'd like the money to get her through all four years, not two.

Re: Going to College Out of State

Re: Going to College Out of State

Re: Going to College Out of State

Posted by dpli

Posted by tourist

I didn't go out of state, but I dormed. It was about a 45 minute drive on the weekends, would have been much longer commuting daily.

I think we went to the same school
I was only 45 minutes away, but rarely ever came home - Christmas, Thanksgiving and Spring Break was pretty much it. A little more my first year but more for things like dentist or doctor appointments, just because I could.

I worked on a college campus for a while. Our residence halls remained open for all the breaks, with the exception of a week or two at Christmas. Chances are that Christmas might be the only fare you would have to pay if she chose to stay at school over the other breaks. Call the office of Residence Life at the campus and ask about whether or not the dorms stay open over breaks.

Re: Going to College Out of State

I went to college in NY, but it was 5 hours away. I came home for fall break, Thanksgiving, winter break and spring break. My parents came to visit about twice per year. There were lots of students from LI and NYC. There was a bus that we could take from campus and dropped us off at Roosevelt Field. By junior year, friends had cars so I would just go home with them. I loved being away.

Re: Going to College Out of State

I didn't go out of state but I was 6 hours away by car and I didnt even have a car until I was a senior. I relied on buses and a train if there was an emergency.
I think going away to school was one of the best preparations for adulthood. I am so thankful to have had that experience.
As for $$, my parents have never had money for our college ed or our weddings, they just helped where they could and we took out loans. I still pay off my loans! But I wouldnt change that time for the world!

Re: Going to College Out of State

I went away to Stony Brook and should have just stayed home and saved the money. Not much more independence was gained for any of us, if I'm being honest.

We have limited funds. For undergrad, Our plan is to have the kids go to school somewhat locally (driving distance). SUNY or as far as Boston. If they want private they will need scholarships, otherwise we will pay for state. If they do amazingly well and want to go on to grad school, we will then send them anywhere they want to go. They need to prove to us they can do it. If they don't want grad school, they will start work and have no loans.

Re: Going to College Out of State

I went away. I was about 90 monutes from home door to door. I too went to school in CT and was close to the ferry. If I took the ferry, I put a total of 11 miles on my car.
I was far enough away where I received the full experience of being away, but could go home for an event if I needed/wanted. It was the best decision I could have made. I was very independent. I like being on my own. It was best for my relationship with my family that I be away too.
As for emergencies, I didn't have any. If I got sick, I went to health services. I had strep 2x and a few colds, but typically I was very healthy. It was hard on my mom for me to to away, but she adapted.
I went to my fair share of parties, and got drunk from time to time but I also took care of my friends when they needed it, we made mistakes, but we learned from them and were fairly responsible,

Re: Going to College Out of State

Thanks everyone. Your responses have truly helped

Re: Going to College Out of State

Going to College Out of State

Both of my kids go to OOS state schools. My son is a senior at UMass, he got an academic scholarship that made it only $4K more than UAlbany per year. He takes out the federal loans to cover that and me and my XH split the rest. He is 3 hours from home which is closer than UAlbany would have been. His freshman year we took turns bringing him back for Thanksgiving and Christmas. He's been taking a car since then. They don't get many breaks so he only comes home then and for summer. Once a semester I drive up on a Sunday of a 3 day weekend to do brunch and grocery shopping. My XH and DH drive up with the boys once a year to do football or hockey. We are all very happy with him there.

My daughter is a sophomore at Alabama. She got an academic scholarship that made it, including her sorority dues, the same price as UAlbany. My XH and I split the costs. There was an emergency last year and he and I took turns driving to get to her. This year she took a car as well and I took out a Southwest Visa to go and see her more often. Being in a sorority def helps with the homesickness because she has a "home" and tons of people around her. We facetime and text nonstop. One of her roommates lives in NJ so they will carpool home for Christmas and spring break. I wouldn't choose for my kid to go 16 hours away but she's happy there and that's all that matters.

You just make it work.