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Strawberry2468
It's summatime
Member since 3/09 4739 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: I was told I am a bad mom
Some people need to keep their mouths shut. If she was so concerned why didn't she come to you sooner?
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Posted 1/2/15 10:31 AM  |
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Re: I was told I am a bad mom
Sorry but 2.5 is still young IMO and needs to be watched (for a variety of reasons) at all times. I don't sit when I am at a play place with DD. I stand so I can always see her. I know the one at Smith Haven, you have to stand by the slide to see what goes on there. DD actually hates that slide b/c so many kids are rough and pushing b/c so many parents don't pay attention to that area. The mom could have and should have handled it differently, though. No one's kid is perfect and she could have let you know there was an issue.
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| Posted 1/2/15 10:34 AM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
Name:
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Re: I was told I am a bad mom
No guilt... It happens & you certainly will discipline some other kid at some time & get frustrated at the parent.
if you haven't caught your kid doing something naughty, you haven't been looking!
You are certainly not a bad mama
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| Posted 1/2/15 10:39 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: I was told I am a bad mom
A. That incident does NOT make you a bad mother.
B. That woman was obnoxious - there were 100 things should could have done to brign the situatiojn to your attention before spekaing to you that way.
C. Because of my own severe paranoia I need to SEE my kids at all times at places like that ..........I don't hover over them - but I do need to SEE them.
I would think if you were sitting with your DH and you were both watching your son, even on the rare ocassion he was out of your view, you would have noticed if he was consistently pushing ALL of the kids ........
Don't worry about it - some people just like to hear themselves talk
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| Posted 1/2/15 11:18 AM |
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petvet
LIF Adult
Member since 5/08 1238 total posts
Name:
Meredith
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Re: I was told I am a bad mom
Just give yourself a break and a hug. So hard for us moms to do(keep repeating to myself)! Who knows the lady was probably having a bad day of her own too which led her to react a little out of proportion to what actually happened. You sound like a wonderful mommy!
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| Posted 1/2/15 11:27 AM |
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Hopefulmama
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1014 total posts
Name:
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Re: I was told I am a bad mom
Kids will be kids. I'm sorry this happened to you. I don't know why moms are so hard on each other. I'm sure her kid is not an angel all the time.
Eta - I was recently at a breakfast with santa. My 2.5 yo son who has mild cerebral palsy (not an obvious disability - he wears discreet leg braces and has balance issues) fell backward off his chair and landed on the floor next to the table behind us (a table full of girls I might add) and the mom gasped and shook her head in disgust and the grandma rolled her eyes and had a look of annoyance on her face. Of course they couldn't tell my son is disabled but whatever. Either way he is just a kid! Don't let it get to you.
Message edited 1/2/2015 11:43:51 AM.
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| Posted 1/2/15 11:38 AM |
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alexb
LIF Adult
Member since 5/13 960 total posts
Name:
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I was told I am a bad mom
You're not a bad mom...don't give a crap what anyone thinks of you or your parenting skills.
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| Posted 1/2/15 2:57 PM |
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alexb
LIF Adult
Member since 5/13 960 total posts
Name:
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I was told I am a bad mom
You're not a bad mom...don't give a crap what anyone thinks of you or your parenting skills.
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| Posted 1/2/15 2:58 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: I was told I am a bad mom
Posted by Strawberry2468
Some people need to keep their mouths shut. If she was so concerned why didn't she come to you sooner?
I agree. And she could have been nicer
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| Posted 1/2/15 4:41 PM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: I was told I am a bad mom
Posted by Hopefulmama
Kids will be kids. I'm sorry this happened to you. I don't know why moms are so hard on each other. I'm sure her kid is not an angel all the time.
Eta - I was recently at a breakfast with santa. My 2.5 yo son who has mild cerebral palsy (not an obvious disability - he wears discreet leg braces and has balance issues) fell backward off his chair and landed on the floor next to the table behind us (a table full of girls I might add) and the mom gasped and shook her head in disgust and the grandma rolled her eyes and had a look of annoyance on her face. Of course they couldn't tell my son is disabled but whatever. Either way he is just a kid! Don't let it get to you.
Wow! I would've jumped out of my seat to make sure he was ok. Those people sound like real a-holes.
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| Posted 1/2/15 5:23 PM |
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LIRascal
drama. daily.
Member since 3/11 7287 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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I was told I am a bad mom
This woman sounds like
A) a beyotch
B) she spoke to the wrong parents
is it possible she thought you were another child's parents? How awful.
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| Posted 1/2/15 5:31 PM |
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Ballet46
LIF Infant
Member since 6/14 180 total posts
Name:
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Re: I was told I am a bad mom
Well, I saw something very similar at the mall recently. Not sure if you are same person. A dad blasted a mom because her son was running around pushing little kids. It was the mom's fault. Unless the mom was lying, it sounds like you need to monitor your kid better.
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| Posted 1/3/15 12:17 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: I was told I am a bad mom
Posted by itsbabytime
Yes, at 2.5 I would personally stick pretty close by my child in a public play area. I don't think your a bad mom at all! I think even the fact that you were upset enough over this incident that you came on here looking for feedback shows you are a great mom trying to do the right thing for your child!
With that said, and while I have NEVER done what that other mother did, I have felt similarly frustrated. So so many times when I have been at the playground over the years there are the moms that sit on the benches (or the nannies) and just let their kids be independent. Unfortunately, the mothers that do follow their kids from equipment to equipment are left being the disciplinarians of the whole group as well as the playmates and entertainers and that is just not fair either. Honestly, it can be very very frustrating and unfair to the other mothers and children. If this woman came to you and complained I think it's pretty much a given that your DS was rough (probably not intentionally) at least once or more times (I highly doubt the woman would have been that frustrated if it were not true) and, the fact that you didn't see it is a bit unsettling honestly because he is 2.5. Having had two 2.5 year olds so far lol I do think it's a bit young and I don't think watching your child and helping them to interact appropriately is being a helicopter parent. Maybe if he was 6 but not at 2.5 - I think it makes you a good parent and is only fair to the other kids and their parents.
Absolutely. I agree. I have to be honest and say I can't imagine ever being able to "relax" and talk and take my eyes of my 2.5 year old, let alone at the mall playground. I think she could have told you nicer but she may have lost her cool if she saw you not paying attention for a long period of time.
I don't think it's ok to justify this situation as letting loose a bit or not wanting to hover. I personally believe you a) SHOULD never take your eyes off your child at a place like a mall (or yes, hover maybe) and b) no matter where at 2.5 years old no less.
Message edited 1/3/2015 5:00:24 PM.
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| Posted 1/3/15 4:57 PM |
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july4mrsO
Happy boy!
Member since 5/10 2867 total posts
Name:
Jess
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I was told I am a bad mom
Thanks everyone for your thoughts and advice. So far this was an isolated incident, nobody has ever scolded me about my son before so any other incident at a mall was not me. I will say I was not relaxing and ignoring my child. Like I said I was watching him but there is this big lighthouse slide where it is difficult to see into. That is the only area where I couldn't see 100% but he didn't spend most of his time in that area. I had my eyes on him the rest of the time and never saw him be aggressive at all. That's why I was so surprised. And like I said, I acknowledge he must have done something wrong for her to be so upset so I am not accusing her of lying. He's certainly not perfect and neither am I. I just don't agree with the way she handled it. I do wonder if part of why she was upset is because he is very tall for his age and looks more like a 4 year old and maybe expected him to act more mature. I really don't know.
I took him to another play area today by myself and watched him like a hawk and followed him everywhere. He was extremely well behaved so I felt much better seeing that. I wish I could just shrug this off but I'm working on it. Thanks again!
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| Posted 1/3/15 5:44 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: I was told I am a bad mom
Don't beat yourself up!
It sounds like you were doing exactly what you should be,and if your kid pushed another kid behind the slide it happens
Unless your kid was rep easily pushing and shoving kids the whole time and you never even paid a look then I think what you did was fine
Whether you watch from 2 feet behind them,2 inches or from the bench across. You were watching You couldn't see one area and you are not even positive what happened
IMO there is ZERO excuse for how that parent spoke to you. She is the one who needs a lesson in kindness
I think people are confusing watching from a bench with not watching at all. That's not a fair assessment
And do t pay any second to that comment a few spots above ....that was just ridiculous
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| Posted 1/3/15 6:35 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: I was told I am a bad mom
Posted by gina409
Don't beat yourself up!
It sounds like you were doing exactly what you should be,and if your kid pushed another kid behind the slide it happens
Unless your kid was rep easily pushing and shoving kids the whole time and you never even paid a look then I think what you did was fine
Whether you watch from 2 feet behind them,2 inches or from the bench across. You were watching You couldn't see one area and you are not even positive what happened
IMO there is ZERO excuse for how that parent spoke to you. She is the one who needs a lesson in kindness
I think people are confusing watching from a bench with not watching at all. That's not a fair assessment
And do t pay any second to that comment a few spots above ....that was just ridiculous
i completely agree!!!!
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| Posted 1/3/15 7:02 PM |
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schmora15
LIF Adult
Member since 9/08 2476 total posts
Name:
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Re: I was told I am a bad mom
Posted by Goobster
Posted by itsbabytime
Yes, at 2.5 I would personally stick pretty close by my child in a public play area. I don't think your a bad mom at all! I think even the fact that you were upset enough over this incident that you came on here looking for feedback shows you are a great mom trying to do the right thing for your child!
With that said, and while I have NEVER done what that other mother did, I have felt similarly frustrated. So so many times when I have been at the playground over the years there are the moms that sit on the benches (or the nannies) and just let their kids be independent. Unfortunately, the mothers that do follow their kids from equipment to equipment are left being the disciplinarians of the whole group as well as the playmates and entertainers and that is just not fair either. Honestly, it can be very very frustrating and unfair to the other mothers and children. If this woman came to you and complained I think it's pretty much a given that your DS was rough (probably not intentionally) at least once or more times (I highly doubt the woman would have been that frustrated if it were not true) and, the fact that you didn't see it is a bit unsettling honestly because he is 2.5. Having had two 2.5 year olds so far lol I do think it's a bit young and I don't think watching your child and helping them to interact appropriately is being a helicopter parent. Maybe if he was 6 but not at 2.5 - I think it makes you a good parent and is only fair to the other kids and their parents.
Absolutely. I agree. I have to be honest and say I can't imagine ever being able to "relax" and talk and take my eyes of my 2.5 year old, let alone at the mall playground. I think she could have told you nicer but she may have lost her cool if she saw you not paying attention for a long period of time.
I don't think it's ok to justify this situation as letting loose a bit or not wanting to hover. I personally believe you a) SHOULD never take your eyes off your child at a place like a mall (or yes, hover maybe) and b) no matter where at 2.5 years old no less.
I'm just curious, are you familiar with the mall play areas? They are not large and you can easily watch your child from the bench.
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| Posted 1/3/15 7:07 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: I was told I am a bad mom
Posted by schmora15
I'm just curious, are you familiar with the mall play areas? They are not large and you can easily watch your child from the bench.
Of course I am. My DC has played in the Smithhaven one plenty. If you take your eyes off your DC when in a group of children esp at a mall (OP said it was very crowded), anything can happen. Especially a 2.5 year old. And IMO there were plenty of things at the Smithhaven one that could block your sight of your child if you never leave your seat. That's what I recall from a few years back anyway. It's one thing to stay in your seat if you can see at all times and make sure your DC is safe and you can intervene if something happens. If you don't pay attention, don't watch and/or can't see, well that's another story.
Message edited 1/3/2015 7:27:49 PM.
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| Posted 1/3/15 7:12 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: I was told I am a bad mom
Posted by july4mrsO
Like I said I was watching him but there is this big lighthouse slide where it is difficult to see into. That is the only area where I couldn't see 100% but he didn't spend most of his time in that area. !
This was my point. I do recall a large item at Smithhaven that is very blocking if you don't follow a young child.
OP maybe it was your DS but maybe the woman could have got the wrong parent/child as well. That is possible.
Message edited 1/3/2015 7:16:51 PM.
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| Posted 1/3/15 7:16 PM |
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july4mrsO
Happy boy!
Member since 5/10 2867 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: I was told I am a bad mom
Thank you
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| Posted 1/3/15 7:42 PM |
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NewLeaf2012
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 2741 total posts
Name:
....
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Re: I was told I am a bad mom
Posted by drpepper318
You're not a bad mom & you did nothing wrong. People are a*sholes, plain & simple.
This... I would have told her to shove it...
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| Posted 1/3/15 9:00 PM |
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