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KwaaksNest
Love my boys!
Member since 6/10 2825 total posts
Name:
Samantha
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Stopping a child from hitting
I need some advice and/or tricks to get my 15 month to stop hitting/biting/pinching you name it he does it-mostly to his big brother some times to us but im afraid he is going to do it to another kid
we have tried time outs and even smacking his hand, he cries for a couple seconds and goes right back to doing it.
Its to the point my older son is afraid of him cause all he does is hurt him
ANY advice would be great!!!
TIA
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Posted 6/10/14 9:36 PM  |
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allIwant
Love my crazy life!
Member since 1/10 9170 total posts
Name:
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Re: Stopping a child from hitting
Ignore the behavior...give you older ds the attention when the younger ds does it. Good luck 
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| Posted 6/10/14 10:07 PM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: Stopping a child from hitting
I think 15 month old is too young for time out. DS is 16 months old and wouldn't comprehend why or what we were doing. When he does something wrong, we just sternly tell him NO! and make sure we're not laughing or anything. It has to be immediately after the action. But again, I really think he's still too young to really understand that there's right and wrong.
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| Posted 6/10/14 10:22 PM |
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ChristinaM128
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 4043 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: Stopping a child from hitting
We usually say "that's not nice". Then,if it's appropriate, we have her do "nice" to the person.
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| Posted 6/10/14 10:50 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Stopping a child from hitting
My DS is almost 15 months too and he hits sometimes as well. We just stop him, say "no hit" , and redirect him. It seems to be working, he's not hitting as much or as often. He went through a biting phase too a few months ago and we handled it the same way and that has stopped entirely.
At this age they definitely don't mean to hurt anyone, it's just one of those things they realize they can do so they do it. I don't think ignoring it is the right response AT ALL because a) it doesn't stop the behavior and b) he isn't learning why that behavior is unacceptable.
Although 15 months is young they understand way more than you think. My DS KNOWS without a doubt it's wrong to hit, he makes this little stinker face every time he does it and he looks right at us as he's going to hit someone so he absolutely, 100% knows what he's about to do is wrong. However, we stay on top of him and we are teaching him how to behave and that hitting is not ok. I can't sit there and ignore him as he's slapping my DD, how is that even fair to her?
Bad behavior, even in little ones, needs to be acknowledged and dealt with........not ignored. Ignoring works for certain things but hitting I think needs to be handled and not ignored like it isn't happening. Just my two cents. 
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| Posted 6/10/14 11:02 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Stopping a child from hitting
We use the corner and for one of my twins is effective
The other runs away and laughs
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| Posted 6/10/14 11:10 PM |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Stopping a child from hitting
Posted by NYCGirl80
I think 15 month old is too young for time out. DS is 16 months old and wouldn't comprehend why or what we were doing. When he does something wrong, we just sternly tell him NO! and make sure we're not laughing or anything. It has to be immediately after the action. But again, I really think he's still too young to really understand that there's right and wrong.
Time outs worked like a charm on DS1 when he was 15 months old. He was only hitting me and the only thing that worked was time outs. We only had to do time outs a handful of times. He hated them so much that the threat of one made him stop.
Luckily, we were able to curb the behavior with DS1 pretty quickly. I can't say the same about DS2. Nothing seems to work for him. He'll be 2 next month. He mostly hits now when he's mad and he doesn't have the language to express himself. His hitting has definitely declined over the last few months, but he still hits. He will at least say sorry and gently pat me, DH or his brother afterwards. I haven't seen him go after other kids though.
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| Posted 6/11/14 7:33 AM |
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Babylove10
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/10 814 total posts
Name:
Doreen
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Re: Stopping a child from hitting
My 2 year old is in time out constantly. I feel so bad but he refuses to stop.
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| Posted 6/11/14 5:40 PM |
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MESal0820
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/11 543 total posts
Name:
Meghan
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Re: Stopping a child from hitting
My DS is 10 months. I just pull his hand away, or if he is sitting in my lap I put him down and don't play with him. He has definitely improved. In fact the other day, he went to do it and stopped himself.
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| Posted 6/11/14 5:45 PM |
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IVFmiracle
Complete
Member since 12/12 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: Stopping a child from hitting
You can't just look at the behavior (hitting, biting etc) as the problem and punishment as the consequence. You have to know why the aggression is happening. That's the most important part. Is he hitting bc his brother has a toy he wants? Or does it happen when his brother enters the room out of nowhere? Why does he hit you guys? Once you figure out why the aggression is happening a proper consequence can be provided. A lot of people favor the "ignore" method but that doesn't solve all behavioral issues especially aggression. Also, even when it is the right technique a replacement behavior should be taught to decrease the chances of future occurrences.
In addition, I would stop the slap on the hand. Teaching him hitting is wrong by hitting him makes you inconsistent.
When all else fails yo gabba gabba has a great video about not biting your friends. But that is more comical than instructional in my opinion.
Message edited 6/11/2014 7:24:42 PM.
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| Posted 6/11/14 7:12 PM |
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Strawberry2468
It's summatime
Member since 3/09 4739 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Stopping a child from hitting
Our EI teacher said to just say "NO" sternly. Don't use "don't hit" because the last thing they hear is "hit". Then we ignore her. We put them in time out in the play yard. One dd gets it the other doesn't really. We tell her "do nice" but even that's a slap or a poke.
Eta my one dd hits and bites and pulls hair when she gets excited. She will hug, laugh and bite her sister at the same one like its a game.
Message edited 6/11/2014 10:53:19 PM.
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| Posted 6/11/14 7:36 PM |
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NASP09
...
Member since 6/05 6030 total posts
Name:
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Re: Stopping a child from hitting
Posted by IVFmiracle
You can't just look at the behavior (hitting, biting etc) as the problem and punishment as the consequence. You have to know why the aggression is happening. That's the most important part. Is he hitting bc his brother has a toy he wants? Or does it happen when his brother enters the room out of nowhere? Why does he hit you guys? Once you figure out why the aggression is happening a proper consequence can be provided. A lot of people favor the "ignore" method but that doesn't solve all behavioral issues especially aggression. Also, even when it is the right technique a replacement behavior should be taught to decrease the chances of future occurrences.
In addition, I would stop the slap on the hand. Teaching him hitting is wrong by hitting him makes you inconsistent.
When all else fails yo gabba gabba has a great video about not biting your friends. But that is more comical than instructional in my opinion.
I agree with this.
My 2 year old hits me sometimes, but my reaction is different when he hits out of frustration or when he hits because he is exhausted and can't handle it anymore.
I know time outs wouldn't work for my kid. If he hits because he is mad that he can't (for example) bang on the fish rank with his toy hammer (first I redirect him and tell him he can hammer on the couch, but he sometimes gets mad). I use the mad mom "look" and tell him "no hit mommy! Do nice hands" and I take his hand to demonstrate a gentle touch.
If he is still trying to hit I know that my own attention and affection is a huge reward for him, so i say " NO!" and I move myself away from him- like a few feet away. I don't make eye contact and don't respond when he inevitable says Mommy mommy mommy. After a minute I tell him again "you do nice hands with mommy" and he usually says sorry and we move on
This is just what I do ... Usually the angry mommy "look" is enough to make him stop
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| Posted 6/11/14 10:27 PM |
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