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MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
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Would this annoy you? Doctor-related...
So DS sees a pediatric GI for moderate to severe reflux. DS is 7 months old and his regular ped was not concerned with his weight gain, but the GI said although it wasn't concerning he would like to see him gain more. (For reference, DS is 7 months today).
Background - he gained really well from 0-4 months, from 4-5 he only gained 8 oz and from 5-6 he only gained 10 oz. He is also EBF.
So we went to the GI this past Wednesday for a weight check and follow up. It had been exactly 3 weeks since he was last weighed, and he gained 14 oz in those 3 weeks. He had started solids and his dose of reflux meds had been adjusted. So I was very excited about his weight gain!
All the doctor said was "I like fat babies." So I asked if he was concerned and he said "No, but I like them fat." I replied that I did, too, but it was still a big improvement. Then, he told us we should increase his solids, and really "shove them in him." He asked if I work and I said yes, full-time, and he proceeded to say "I'm sorry that this may be sexist but really the onus falls on the working mom to manage it all and spend those extra 5 minutes giving your baby an extra meal." And then he gave me a bunch of suggestions of what I should cook, such as chicken soup and cholent (a common Jewish meal - he's and Orthodox man and knows that we are practicing Jews.)
I'm annoyed at two things: one, if you aren't concerned about his weight, why make me feel bad by continuing to say you like fat babies? I'm trying my hardest to fatten him up! Two: my husband was there, too. We take a very equal, joint approach to parenting our son. And I do, in fact, find it sexist to not just imply but flat out say it is MY job to make sure he is fed. And what 7 month old takes 5 minutes to eat a meal?
Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I left that appointment feeling stressed and annoyed.
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Posted 5/19/14 9:52 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would this annoy you? Doctor-related...
Yes, I would be very annoyed by his remarks- they are outrageous (shove the solids in him?) and sexist (expecting everything to fall on you). I would be happy that he did gain something and that he is making progress. He will be OK.
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| Posted 5/19/14 9:56 AM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Would this annoy you? Doctor-related...
I would be totally annoyed. Those just seem like very ignorant comments coming from a doctor. Is he following a growth curve with some consistency? Obviously not every child is meant to be above average in weight and they will be where they're meant to be. To imply that he's not gaining bc you don't bother to take an extra 5 minutes to feed him would have put me over the edge. DD hovered around the 25th percentile at that age and I only added a second meal when she hit 7 months and didn't add a third until 8 months. The ped never pushed me to give her more and if he did I probably would have ignored it. They're nutrition is mainly coming from bm, not from solids anyway. Also to put it all on you when DH is obviously there with you is ridiculous. I'm annoyed for you!
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| Posted 5/19/14 10:02 AM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
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Re: Would this annoy you? Doctor-related...
Sounds like you have an old school dr.
I wouldn't take it personally... I too am a FTWM and got recipes from my doc on how to make fish.
I smiled and told her I don't cook. She then shared them with my hubby.
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| Posted 5/19/14 10:15 AM |
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Strawberry2468
It's summatime
Member since 3/09 4739 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Would this annoy you? Doctor-related...
I'd be asking for my kids records and switching Drs. The sexist remark is BS and I would have told him so..
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| Posted 5/19/14 11:08 AM |
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Strawberry2468
It's summatime
Member since 3/09 4739 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Would this annoy you? Doctor-related...
Posted by MrsT809
I would be totally annoyed. Those just seem like very ignorant comments coming from a doctor. Is he following a growth curve with some consistency? Obviously not every child is meant to be above average in weight and they will be where they're meant to be. To imply that he's not gaining bc you don't bother to take an extra 5 minutes to feed him would have put me over the edge. DD hovered around the 25th percentile at that age and I only added a second meal when she hit 7 months and didn't add a third until 8 months. The ped never pushed me to give her more and if he did I probably would have ignored it. They're nutrition is mainly coming from bm, not from solids anyway. Also to put it all on you when DH is obviously there with you is ridiculous. I'm annoyed for you!
Exactly! My kids were in the 4th percentile and doing 1 meal until about 8 mo, then 3 at 12 mo. Gaining on their own curve and ped said it was fine.
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| Posted 5/19/14 11:10 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Would this annoy you? Doctor-related...
Not only is is sexist what he said to you, the part about "liking fat babies" is just plain ignorant.
Back in the old days everyone equated "skinny" or thin with being unhealthy and being pudgy was considered healthy and strong.
Now we know better.
Childhood obesity is no joke either.
You would think a doctor would know better than to say something so ignorant
I'd be switching to someone who was more with the times.
Message edited 5/19/2014 11:37:03 AM.
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| Posted 5/19/14 11:36 AM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17795 total posts
Name:
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Would this annoy you? Doctor-related...
I would have been annoyed too - it's hard enough to go back to work after having a baby and then to hear something like that...
My older DS has always been small (except at birth, he was 8'2'' and my ped is fine with it since he's stayed on the same growth curve....
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| Posted 5/19/14 11:37 AM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Would this annoy you? Doctor-related...
I would be annoyed but I would take it with a grain if salt. If he is a good dr otherwise, then I would chalk it up to bad bedside manner.
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| Posted 5/19/14 1:40 PM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: Would this annoy you? Doctor-related...
Posted by nferrandi
I would be annoyed but I would take it with a grain if salt. If he is a good dr otherwise, then I would chalk it up to bad bedside manner.
ITA
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| Posted 5/19/14 2:00 PM |
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MrsG823
Just call me Mommy.
Member since 1/11 5570 total posts
Name:
S
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Would this annoy you? Doctor-related...
The doctor sounds very old fashioned- I would take it with a grain of salt if he is otherwise competent.
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| Posted 5/19/14 2:06 PM |
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MRsFaTThead
NY GIRL IN TEXAS
Member since 6/10 5483 total posts
Name:
WHO GIVES A POO WHO GIVES A FUDGE !!
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Would this annoy you? Doctor-related...
Douchhhhheeeee!!!! Grain a salt my ass!! Just because he's "old school" doesn't mean he shouldn't get with the times and know better. He's a friggin doctor ! Jmo
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| Posted 5/19/14 2:29 PM |
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Re: Would this annoy you? Doctor-related...
No, I would not be offended. You meet any Dr 100x and I'm sure you will catch something out of their mouths you don't like eventually. If he has seen many families for many years his sexist statement probably is more true than false. He should not make the assumption that it is always true though.
If you are really upset then you should find a new Dr. That is your decision.
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| Posted 5/19/14 2:44 PM |
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Re: Would this annoy you? Doctor-related...
Posted by LastLightGlow
No, I would not be offended. You meet any Dr 100x and I'm sure you will catch something out of their mouths you don't like eventually. If he has seen many families for many years his sexist statement probably is more true than false. He should not make the assumption that it is always true though.
If you are really upset then you should find a new Dr. That is your decision.
I agree with this.
I work for an Orthodox office, if you are familiar with the community, which I am assuming you are, then you know they will speak their mind and are old fashioned.
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| Posted 5/19/14 3:58 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: Would this annoy you? Doctor-related...
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by LastLightGlow
No, I would not be offended. You meet any Dr 100x and I'm sure you will catch something out of their mouths you don't like eventually. If he has seen many families for many years his sexist statement probably is more true than false. He should not make the assumption that it is always true though.
If you are really upset then you should find a new Dr. That is your decision.
I agree with this.
I work for an Orthodox office, if you are familiar with the community, which I am assuming you are, then you know they will speak their mind and are old fashioned.
I agree with this. But if you aren't happy than switch.
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| Posted 5/19/14 4:10 PM |
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Leb
LIF Adult
Member since 12/09 4166 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would this annoy you? Doctor-related...
I would switch doctors, while everyone likes a chunky baby a "fat baby" is extremely serious, as a doctor he shouldn't have said that, even joking around which he doesn't seem to be doing.
The working mother comment is ridiculous, how dare he make you feel inadequate!
And finally you mentioned you EBF? My dd was always low with percentages and was EBF until the introduction of solids at 6mos and my ped told me that formula companies are the ones that make the charts and distribute and so sometimes they're slightly off, what is more important than percentages is their curve of growth.
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| Posted 5/19/14 9:11 PM |
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JME78
LIF Adult
Member since 11/09 3672 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would this annoy you? Doctor-related...
I would be extremely annoyed and switch.
I don't think belonging to a certain community or being old fashioned in your beliefs should bleed over into your professional life. Its terribly unprofessional. No excuse for that.
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| Posted 5/19/14 9:22 PM |
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Jbon630
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 1340 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would this annoy you? Doctor-related...
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by LastLightGlow
No, I would not be offended. You meet any Dr 100x and I'm sure you will catch something out of their mouths you don't like eventually. If he has seen many families for many years his sexist statement probably is more true than false. He should not make the assumption that it is always true though.
If you are really upset then you should find a new Dr. That is your decision.
I agree with this.
I work for an Orthodox office, if you are familiar with the community, which I am assuming you are, then you know they will speak their mind and are old fashioned.
I don't think MY issue would be the fact that he spoke his mind, it would be that his beliefs are proven to be unhealthy. At this age, the babys nutrition should be from formula or breast milk, and solids are extra, for practice.
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| Posted 5/19/14 9:29 PM |
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ChristinaM128
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 4043 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: Would this annoy you? Doctor-related...
Is this dr. Marciano by any chance? He tells me the same exact thing every time. Dd hovers between the first and tenth percentile. Peds are not worried. Whole family was small as babies but he wanted me to do all this blood work bc she's tiny and he likes big babies. Once she outgrew her milk allergy I stopped going, even though he recommended more follow up every few months.
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| Posted 5/19/14 9:53 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Would this annoy you? Doctor-related...
Posted by StaceyWill
Posted by nferrandi
I would be annoyed but I would take it with a grain if salt. If he is a good dr otherwise, then I would chalk it up to bad bedside manner.
ITA
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| Posted 5/19/14 10:48 PM |
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Re: Would this annoy you? Doctor-related...
Posted by Jbon630
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by LastLightGlow
No, I would not be offended. You meet any Dr 100x and I'm sure you will catch something out of their mouths you don't like eventually. If he has seen many families for many years his sexist statement probably is more true than false. He should not make the assumption that it is always true though.
If you are really upset then you should find a new Dr. That is your decision.
I agree with this.
I work for an Orthodox office, if you are familiar with the community, which I am assuming you are, then you know they will speak their mind and are old fashioned.
I don't think MY issue would be the fact that he spoke his mind, it would be that his beliefs are proven to be unhealthy. At this age, the babys nutrition should be from formula or breast milk, and solids are extra, for practice.
But to 'fatten the baby up' per se would be for extra/practice.
He didn't say to stop giving the baby BM, just to give more solids additionally.
If she isn't happy, she should switch.
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| Posted 5/20/14 12:18 PM |
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wannabemomma
LIF Infant
Member since 9/09 348 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: Would this annoy you? Doctor-related...
The doctor's comments aren't professional IMO. He/she should stick to facts rather than, "I like them fat." This GI doctor sounds like the one I saw who is with Winthrop .
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| Posted 5/22/14 9:56 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would this annoy you? Doctor-related...
Posted by NervousNell
Not only is is sexist what he said to you, the part about "liking fat babies" is just plain ignorant.
Back in the old days everyone equated "skinny" or thin with being unhealthy and being pudgy was considered healthy and strong.
Now we know better.
Childhood obesity is no joke either.
You would think a doctor would know better than to say something so ignorant
I'd be switching to someone who was more with the times.
I agree with this. As long as your child is a healthy weight, why stress and try to force extra food into them? There's nothing wrong with a baby having baby fat if they naturally have it, but why force it? And what he said does sound sexist, especially if your husband was there too.
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| Posted 5/23/14 6:38 AM |
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