FTWM when does it get easier?

I am just SO sad today and missing my boy. Maybe I'm coming down from having a few days off with the Holiday and everything but I feel like I can't function today. And I need to stay off facebook I'm getting weepy looking at his pics lol. I don't know if I need to go talk to someone but I just feel like it's getting harder to be away from him- not easier. Idk, Maybe I'm just having a bad day, but do you find it gets a little better over time? I'm back working full-time since Jan now...

Re: FTWM when does it get easier?

I hear ya. I've been back at work since August and its so hard. This week was especially hard for me as well, since I too took some time off next week. DD is also getting bigger and doing more and I hate, hate leaving her and get so sad at the thought of missing things (She's about to walk!). I just keep reminding myself that if I didn't work I wouldn't be able to do things for her or buy her things...

Hang in there.

Re: FTWM when does it get easier?

I've been back at work since August and I still have really tough days where I miss my DD terribly. It usually is when I have a tough or slow day at work and I'm just thinking about her.

I don't know if it will ever get easy. But I just focus on the time when I get home and we can play, have dinner, bath and cuddling before bedtime. Focus on the moments with them and not the time that you are away.

It does suck!!! I'm sorry I don't have better advice.

FTWM when does it get easier?

I never had an issue but that was because I never wanted to stay home. Don't get me wrong I do have days where my DS is being super cute and I wish I could stay home that day.

IMO it won't get better unless you let it get better. and by that I mean accept the fact that you have to work. If not I think people end up bitter and resentful that they can't stay home. Your DS will be perfectly fine in daycare or with family or whatever....he won't love you less or love someone else more.

Re: FTWM when does it get easier?

I was laid off when I was 8 months pregnant and found a new job when DS was about 7 months old. By then, I was more than ready to go back. Staying home and worrying about money made me appreciate being able to go to work. So for me, I never really had a hard time. That doesn't mean that I don't have bad days. And I miss DS every day like crazy! But I have never been unable to function or started crying because I'm away from him. If it continues to get worse, I would probably seek out help since there may be something else going on there.

FTWM when does it get easier?

I just went back to work last Tuesday. My DD is 6w old. It's so hard to be away from her.

Re: FTWM when does it get easier?

It's been almost 4 years for me and I was JUST sitting here missing my DD. She is home with DH today and I just texted him asking how she was, what she was doing etc?
It does get easier, trust me, but it never goes away.
But for the most part I am fine.
I really like my job and never ever could stay home so I don't mind working
I just have moments where i miss her face.
It's totally normal

Message edited 4/22/2014 3:54:52 PM.

FTWM when does it get easier?

DS is 2 1/2. It never gets easier.

Re: FTWM when does it get easier?

I'll be honest....For me, it's getting harder as she's getting older (she's almost 2). When she was an infant (I had to go back to work after 5 weeks or so), I welcomed it because I'm a first time mom and I was terrified of her
But, as she's getting older, she's so fun and I hate losing this time with her. BUT, I know that I have no choice and that: it just is what it is.
I'm dreading when she starts to ask me where I'm going? and why don't I stay with her during the day? Ugh...
Sorry, I didn’t mean to be a downer…Just how I feel today.

Re: FTWM when does it get easier?

Posted by StaceyWill

I'll be honest....For me, it's getting harder as she's getting older (she's almost 2). When she was an infant (I had to go back to work after 5 weeks or so), I welcomed it because I'm a first time mom and I was terrified of her
But, as she's getting older, she's so fun and I hate losing this time with her. BUT, I know that I have no choice and that: it just is what it is.
I'm dreading when she starts to ask me where I'm going? and why don't I stay with her during the day? Ugh...
Sorry, I didn’t mean to be a downer…Just how I feel today.

Re: FTWM when does it get easier?

It took me a while. Maybe a year?
It was really bad for a few months & then I adjusted his sleeping schedule.

Then I had #2. It was a bit easier to go back that time.

Now #1 is in school half the day, comes home, eats, plays a little, rests a little & I'm home. #2 is really close to me & screams & runs when she sees me. She spends the rest of the day glued to me.

What really gives me strength is talking to coworkers who also have kids. We all miss them, but studies show the happiest moms are woking moms.

Re: FTWM when does it get easier?

FTWM when does it get easier?

I think it's always hard, but you adjust. DS is 2 and I still miss him. I just remind myself That I work to provide a better life for our family and make the most of the time we DO have together.

Re: FTWM when does it get easier?

Re: FTWM when does it get easier?

Re: FTWM when does it get easier?

Posted by mosh913

Posted by alli3131

I never had an issue but that was because I never wanted to stay home. Don't get me wrong I do have days where my DS is being super cute and I wish I could stay home that day.

IMO it won't get better unless you let it get better. and by that I mean accept the fact that you have to work. If not I think people end up bitter and resentful that they can't stay home. Your DS will be perfectly fine in daycare or with family or whatever....he won't love you less or love someone else more.

I couldn't agree more with this! Not that I wanted to work but I didn't have a choice so I won't let my mind even go there. Instead, I've retrained my thinking and tell myself I'm doing what's best for my family. After 5 years, you just get used to it as life. Make the most of weekends, holidays and days off. And if it's unbearable, take the day!

Re: FTWM when does it get easier?

DS has been in day care for 11 months now. I miss him everyday, most days I am so busy at work I am distracted bit of course I think about him/miss him throughout the day. I actually find it harder weeks like this when teachers are off and all I see on facebook parents so excited to be with their kids and constantly posting about it. It makes me feel pretty sad and crappy cause I don't get those extra weeks all year/summer long with my little man. Also hard when DS has been teething bad and start having separation anxiety and also changed rooms day care which describes the last week and a half!

Generally I keep it in check, I have to work, I have no choice so its not like there is another option, but yes, it is hard and some days are definitely harder than others.

Re: FTWM when does it get easier?

Posted by drpepper318

Posted by mosh913

Posted by alli3131

I never had an issue but that was because I never wanted to stay home. Don't get me wrong I do have days where my DS is being super cute and I wish I could stay home that day.

IMO it won't get better unless you let it get better. and by that I mean accept the fact that you have to work. If not I think people end up bitter and resentful that they can't stay home. Your DS will be perfectly fine in daycare or with family or whatever....he won't love you less or love someone else more.

I couldn't agree more with this! Not that I wanted to work but I didn't have a choice so I won't let my mind even go there. Instead, I've retrained my thinking and tell myself I'm doing what's best for my family. After 5 years, you just get used to it as life. Make the most of weekends, holidays and days off. And if it's unbearable, take the day!

ITA.
I make the most of every day with him that we can be together & in the evenings after work. I miss him when I'm at work but the day goes fast & I try to focus on the positive. Some people like posting pics of their kids by their desk, but I find it makes me sad, so I don't do it. I call home & talk to him on speaker phone & I can hear him making sounds & it makes me feel closer to him. The best is the big smile I get when I first walk in the door after work & he sees me for the first time. Once in a while, I take a day off & be a sahm for the day. I try to have a balance but it's true it's very hard.

Re: FTWM when does it get easier?

Thanks everyone I was having such a bad day yesterday but at least what I'm going through is normal and I am trying to see things in a more positive light from here out!!

Re: FTWM when does it get easier?

FTWM when does it get easier?

I think that if you are that distressed maybe your instincts are telling you that working full time isn't the right situation for you and your baby. Is it possible for you to change your hours, cut back to part time, work from home one day etc? I know other moms who were in your situation who had to make drastic changes to be home more, but it was worth it for them, in the end. I think it is always something to consider if things are that hard for you. After all, happy mom = equals baby. Good luck !

Message edited 4/23/2014 10:49:45 AM.

FTWM when does it get easier?

IMO it never gets easier.

Re: FTWM when does it get easier?

IMO it never gets easier.

I just returned back to work since having DD - she will be 4 months tomorrow and DS is 3.5.

DS is at the age where he is just fun! Now that the weather is getting nicer, there are so many things I want to do with him and now have to make sure I can get them in on the weekends.

Which means getting all my errands and cleaning done on Friday night.

I think it gets easier for those that actually like their jobs or that want to come back to work. I know people who don't want to work but need to for mental stabilty - I totally get that.

I just want the chance to be with my kids for awhile not be at work during these young years. I work because I have to not because I want to.

Re: FTWM when does it get easier?

Re: FTWM when does it get easier?

yeah, I think a big part of the problem is that I don't enjoy what I do for work anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely grateful for my job, but my priorities changed greatly since having my son and it'd be great to do something more flexible or closer to home if possible. Weighing my options now and brainstorming