FTWMs...do you also feel this way?

From the moment I get home I am constantly busy doing something whether it's preparing dinner, cleaning kitchen, whatever. I just feel like I don't spend quality time with my kids. After a long day without them, I should be focusing on them instead of worrying about cooking or cleaning the kitchen. But it has to get done. I just wish I could play with them from the minute I walk through the door and screw everything else. Anyone else feel this way?

Message edited 10/10/2012 10:08:34 PM.

Re: FTWMs...do you also feel this way?

Yes, and I just broke down to my husband and said I could care less about cleaning and it is a source of stress to me, and I'm getting help. Financially, we can afford it, he always fights me on it b/c he's weirded out by having someone in the house.

Re: FTWMs...do you also feel this way?

absolutely! it's one of the hardest thing about being a ftwm
for me, i am SO lucky b.c i can come home during my lunch hr. and prepare stuff for later when i have my kids...so i really give props to the moms that have to do it all when they get home until bedtime!
i am always baffled when working moms tell me it's easier to go to work b.c for ME (my feelings) i hate having the responsibility of home, kids, AND work. it's a lot to juggle. DH is not home often so no help there.
i am a neat freak too so i convinced DH to let us get a cleaning lady 2x a month (it's someone we know) and my house is teeny tiny, but it helps tremendously! the last thing i want to do every weekend is clean every hour so this is money well spent!
you are not alone in feeling that way, trust me!

FTWMs...do you also feel this way?

Which is why my house is a mess. My husband cooks and cleans. I sit with the kiddo. I have two jobs now so the nights i AM home, he's grateful to be able to do his thing even if its cleaning with her not up his butt. We just spent 3hours working on our weekly craft, a bath, combing her hair and doing her nails, then letting her do my nails, taking photos of her craft (she has her own camera) its now 10pm so its time for her to finally get sleepy

FTWMs...do you also feel this way?

Yep. Which is why I recently went to PT at my job. I'll hopefully have more time to do errands and whatnot during the week now so we can spend more quality time together as a family in general.

Re: FTWMs...do you also feel this way?

YES! My issue is the schedule that never seems to end. I feel like we are always doing more "business" vs fun (i.e. get DS home, fed, bathed, teeth brushed, ready for bed, etc)...especially since I get home late most days. Sometimes I just allow myself to not worry about cleaning every frickin day because I just cant...I'm tired, I want to spend time with my LO who Ive missed all day, and after he's in bed, I'm just too darn tired. However, when the house gets cluttered I start getting anxious. Can't win...but I try to let it go sometimes and accept that it's literally impossible to do everything. It's hard to let go, but in some cases its a must. We got a slow cooker to help so there is less time spent on cooking at least (well, sometimes). I wish I could afford to have someone come and clean for me. I am one of those people who would be wierded out having someone cleaning my stuff though.

Re: FTWMs...do you also feel this way?

Yup!! There are some days where I force myself to say eff everything else - I want to spend time with DD - give her my undivided, undistracted attention. And don't regret it one bit!

FTWMs...do you also feel this way?

Ugh yes! I do this on the weekends too, especially now that DH started working late during the week and Saturdays. So I don't really have any help and it has to get done. I definitely try to go as fast as possible and prioritize what needs to get done and what can wait. And there are times I say eff it, I'm playing with my son.

Re: FTWMs...do you also feel this way?

Thankfully we have some help (nanny and cleaning lady) so I so feel like I get to spend some of fun time with DS. However, I also try to make the "business" tasks fun. DS is 2.5 and really likes to help, so I give him tasks while I am cooking and we talk and sing together, etc. Also, if I am doing laundry he likes to sort. He does not realize it is a "business" task, so try to involve your LO or put things off until after bedtime or the weekend.

HTH!!

Re: FTWMs...do you also feel this way?

Yes! And I feel like all of the parenting magazines say, oh forget the cleaning - that can wait... I live in an apartment, if I don't clean we would be infested with mice and roaches!! Gross!! And I feel completely scattered when things are a mess - which doesn't help anyone. Urgh!

Re: FTWMs...do you also feel this way?

Yes! Unfortunately it is the bane of being a FTWM. That's why my house is a mess and we go through these huge cleaning spurts.

Re: FTWMs...do you also feel this way?

Yes

Re: FTWMs...do you also feel this way?

yup. We get about 1.5-2 hours with DS from the time we get home until the time he is in bed In that time, we have dinner, clean up, bath, get ready for bed. A bit of playing and maybe a show on Nick Jr and then reading in bed.

Last night, I was laying in his bed reading with him and we just chatted for about 20 mins about his day. He is 29 months and really fully conversational at this point and I just could not pull myself away. It was really awesome. I wish I had more time like that at night.

We DO make the weekends as special as possible. We try to take him somewhere on both Sats and Sundays.

It is NOT easy being a FTWM but it is what is best for my family and I know he is beyond cared for and loved in his daycare environment.

Re: FTWMs...do you also feel this way?

Yes totally!!! That is why my house is a disaster! I try my best to keep it clean, but family time comes first. Hopefully i will eventually figure out a system, but DS is going to be 1 in November and I still haven't figured it out!

Re: FTWMs...do you also feel this way?

Yup.

I get 2 hours a day with DS. :( I try to stop and breathe him in once in a while but I cant stand my house looking like Romper Room all the time. I can not go to bed with a dirty dish in the sink. I really need to learn to relax and enjoy him while he is little.

FTWMs...do you also feel this way?

Yes - although DH does most of the cooking.

My house is a mess but, I feel like I'm constantly running around - laundry, getting ready for the next day, etc.

FTWMs...do you also feel this way?

I don't even feel like I am home, by the time I get home at 5:30 its right back out the door for either Football, Boyscouts, Cubscouts, or Religion.
Then it's dinner, homework, clean...crash.

Weekends are no better cause thats football games, pack events, and Dance....I'm slowly starting to turn into a robot.

I need a nanny/housekeeper/chaffuer/cook

Message edited 10/11/2012 1:35:32 PM.

Re: FTWMs...do you also feel this way?

Yes, I feel exactly this way, which is one of the reasons I am taking an extended maternity leave with DC#2. It's just go, go, go from the second we walk in the door. I am not looking forward to going back to that. I can't imagine how we're ever supposed to fit in after school activities, like sports. That being said, I can't imagine being a SAHM either, so as tough as it is, is works for me (for now).

Re: FTWMs...do you also feel this way?

Re: FTWMs...do you also feel this way?

I don't cook during the week. On Sundays I make or prep for the week. last sunday i made meatbAlls sauce eggplant parm banana bread meatloaf (didnt cook it just made it and threw in freezer). I'll also do a one pot type meal or slow cooker meal during the week and have a clean the fridge nite At the end of the week. Makes dinnertime easy especially since its planned out and mostly made


We pick up toys before bath and bed. After dd is in bed we do dishes and clean what's needed. Throw in a load of laundry while watching tv or maybe clean a bathroom. I can't do it all in one shot it takes too long. I also clean while watching tv. And dd definitely helps she thinks its fun

Re: FTWMs...do you also feel this way?

Nope. My house is usually messy and DH is always on my case that I'm so messy. He has no idea all that I do when I get home. I tried to explain but nope he will never understand.

We can't afford a housekeeper. I asked dh if we can get one this once, but of course he said no, his mom luckily paid for a housekeeper to come one saturday. She does this twice a year, she obviously knows I cant do it all.

The weekends are generally not much better. I cringe when ds is old enough to go into sports, religious studies, etc. I'm going to die then.

Re: FTWMs...do you also feel this way?

YES. I pick DS up from daycare and we get home around 6. We eat dinner (usually DH cooks but sometimes I do), I do dishes, go upstairs, he gets a bath, likes to watch my ipad then maybe a story and then it's bed for him. Between 830-9. By the time I get to actually sit down on the couch it's 9-930.

Re: FTWMs...do you also feel this way?

Re: FTWMs...do you also feel this way?

I don't do anything except pee once I get home until the baby is in bed. We (DH and I) eat at 9:30-10pm, the dishes (except bottles) can sit a few days, laundry gets done while I watch TV or go online and the dishwasher runs while we sleep. DD is my only priority when I get home. I get about 2 precious hours with her and I soak in every minute of that time. Until recently, the cleaning was barely getting done on weekends--in between all the other activitiies but I hired a housekeeper and it is by far the best money I have spent in years!

Re: FTWMs...do you also feel this way?

yes but my question is- does your husband help with any of that?

my husband mostly does all the cooking. I clean up after. We also take turns doing the baths and/or feeding the baby.

So we both get some downtime with the kids and aren't just busy busy the whole time.