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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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question....with poll
thanks 
Message edited 9/12/2012 9:19:51 PM.
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Posted 9/12/12 9:49 AM  |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: MIL question....with poll
I would also be annoyed if she kept harping of it after you said no. It's nice of her to offer but since you expressed that its not something you're interested in she needs to respect that and let it go. If it keeps coming up I would say very nicely, "Again, thank you for the offer but I would rather him be home at night and in the future I would appreciate it if u would stop asking as I have made up my mind". Good luck!!! 
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| Posted 9/12/12 9:55 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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MIL question....with poll
Also when she initially mentioned it I DID thank her and was very nice about it while explaining that I miss him so much when I go to work and I want him home with me at night. Yet she still brings it up to DH all the time and again today to me...she is passive aggresive.
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| Posted 9/12/12 9:58 AM |
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Strawberry2468
It's summatime
Member since 3/09 4739 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: MIL question....with poll
It would irk me! Sounds like she just wants to have him overnight for her own reasons (reliving being a parent- who knows) and she is using you saying he hasn't slept as an excuse for her to "do you a favor". She should back off since you declined so many times. I'd just tell her to stop asking and if you need her to take him, you will let her know. MILs lack the ability to see boundaries. 
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| Posted 9/12/12 10:00 AM |
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Bearcat
Love my little girls!!! <3
Member since 6/10 10818 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: MIL question....with poll
As an outsider I'd say i wouldn't be mad, she's just being nice.
BUT if it were me, and my MIL, I would be totally pi$$ed off, LOL.
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| Posted 9/12/12 10:00 AM |
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mnmsoinlove
Mommy to 2 sweet girls!
Member since 3/09 8585 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: MIL question....with poll
My mil doesn't even care about my kids at all. If I had a mil that I trusted to watch my kids i wouldn't be upset that she offered to watch lo over night. I wouldn't take her up on the offer but I certaintly wouldn't be upset over it.
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| Posted 9/12/12 10:07 AM |
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MrsPorkChop
Twinning!!
Member since 5/05 9941 total posts
Name:
Missy
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MIL question....with poll
i think she is being nice...she probably thinks you are hinting that you are tired and needing help.
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| Posted 9/12/12 10:09 AM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: MIL question....with poll
Posted by mnmsoinlove
If I had a mil that I trusted to watch my kids i wouldn't be upset that she offered to watch lo over night. I wouldn't take her up on the offer but I certaintly wouldn't be upset over it.
here too (but my MIL is amazing, and also watches DS once a week). my MIL sometimes picks him up the night BEFORE the day she watches him, around his bedtime--that way, i've seen him, but it saves her coming to our house the next morning and they spend the day at her house. would that be a compromise? honestly, there may come a time when you would love to have him sleep at her house just to catch up on rest--with 2 now, no one offers, but i loved the random weeknight when i didn't have to worry about waking up with him all night. eihter way, her heart is in the right place.
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| Posted 9/12/12 10:11 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: MIL question....with poll
Posted by MrsPorkChop
i think she is being nice...she probably thinks you are hinting that you are tired and needing help.
I agree with this.
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| Posted 9/12/12 10:11 AM |
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blustar214
So in love with my little girl
Member since 1/10 2471 total posts
Name:
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Re: MIL question....with poll
My parents did the same thing to us when DD was little - they always wanted to take her overnight and I was totally not ready for that. I was also ebf, so it made things a lot harder.
I don't think you should be mad at her, I'm sure she means well, just keep telling her that you're not ready.
At some point we did start letting her sleep over - we would go and put her to sleep there and then come over in the morning when she woke up. Now every once in a while she stays overnight.
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| Posted 9/12/12 10:12 AM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: MIL question....with poll
Posted by MrsPorkChop
i think she is being nice...she probably thinks you are hinting that you are tired and needing help.
from you original post this is how i am seeing.
This is with out knowing how you MIL and the realtionship you have with her.
I cant stand my MIL, we dont even talk, but if we did and did the above i know it would annoy me cause i cant stand her also with that said she would never watch my DD even if we did talk
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| Posted 9/12/12 10:21 AM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: MIL question....with poll
Posted by Bearcat
As an outsider I'd say i wouldn't be mad, she's just being nice.
BUT if it were me, and my MIL, I would be totally pi$$ed off, LOL.
This!.
My MIL is kinda like that but DH has kinda told her to back off.
My Step MIL has offered a bunch of times but we have to be careful if we accpet her offer because then MIL will be mad...we have a balancign act to play between the MILs. DH has a very complicated famly.
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| Posted 9/12/12 10:37 AM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: MIL question....with poll
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by MrsPorkChop
i think she is being nice...she probably thinks you are hinting that you are tired and needing help.
I agree with this.
I agree
I wish AJ would stay with her Grandma when we visit NY. Give us a chance to take a break but even tho she is quick to bond with her, I know its not going to happen yet. I think Grandma sleep overs are awesome.
Now my step mother is absolutely NOT allowed to be alone with my child much less a sleep over. The answer is a firm no. So much so I preface the conversation 'sorry you can't have her'. I will let her stay at her Auntie's house (my aunt) but that's been built up over the years. Part necessity part pleasure for them both.
I think you saying that you're tired or that he's not sleeping well, sort of triggered the question. Because no for now can't be no forever? (in her mind)
I think its really nice of her ask and want to take care of your child. Who knows one day you may actually let her take him for a night.
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| Posted 9/12/12 10:37 AM |
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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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Re: MIL question....with poll
I would think she is being nice not doing it in a spiteful way. Then again I don't know your relationship with your MIL.
I do know how you feel about not wanting to be away from him for that long.
I work FT and rush home to see my DS. I procrasinate on doing errands after work because I missed him so much.
Could you let her take him one night a month? I would be open to that option versus sleeping over once a week.
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| Posted 9/12/12 10:46 AM |
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Sparrow
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 6826 total posts
Name:
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Re: MIL question....with poll
I wouldn't be mad if she just mentioned it the 2 times that you mentioned, I'd say she was just being nice and letting you know the offer still stands. Since you said she brings this up repeatedly to DH it would piss me off. I would tell DH that he needs to keep telling her NO, you want your son at your own home during the week.
I just want to add, I think you're a saint for doing monthly sleep overs at their house. My own mother would kill for that and no way would I be willing to do it! I think that alone is going WAY above and beyond. She should be thanking her lucky stars lol!
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| Posted 9/12/12 11:21 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: MIL question....with poll
IMO she isn't being nice for your sake, she is pretending she is asking for you but she really wants this for herself. For me it would be a firm no that I would NOT change my mind on to accomdate her or appease her. I am not a fan of grandparents who want to play parent again, sorry if t his sounds harsh.And i just read about your monthly sleep over. She is absolutely trying to overstep her boundaries to keep asking about him staying over when you ALREADY let her watch him during the week AND sleep over once a mth!
You are a saint. I would NEVER go for that. I don't personally feel the need to give grandparents whatever they want. They had their kids and now this is our kid. Some grandparents can easily overstep boundaries when it comes to taking care of grandchildren and that to me can absolutely be a negative effect and snowball into much worse (such as her trying to overrule you). And the monthly sleep over thing just says to me that they want much more than I would ever be willing to give.
Message edited 9/12/2012 11:41:56 AM.
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| Posted 9/12/12 11:35 AM |
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Cacarina
Two girls!
Member since 12/09 2971 total posts
Name:
Cari
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Re: MIL question....with poll
It would annoy me. You said you didn't want him sleeping over, she should stop pushing it.
My MIL is sort of like this as well...but not as bad. When we once told her we'd be sleeping over, she said, "Oh good, I get to sleep with the baby in my room!" Ummm...really? Cause I never said that. We said we were sleeping over, not that the baby was sleeping her room. Why would she sleep in MIL's room if I was going to be there? It was odd and slightly annoying that she assumed that.
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| Posted 9/12/12 11:52 AM |
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TheDivineMrsM
2 girls 4 me!
Member since 8/08 7878 total posts
Name:
Mama mama mama....
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Re: MIL question....with poll
I'd be annoyed. How many times do you need to explain yourself? And she has a son; it's not like she's CF and wouldn't get it.
Message edited 9/12/2012 12:18:35 PM.
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| Posted 9/12/12 12:17 PM |
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JRsMaMa
LIF Adult
Member since 11/07 2044 total posts
Name:
Jake's Mama
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Re: MIL question....with poll
Posted by MrsPorkChop
i think she is being nice...she probably thinks you are hinting that you are tired and needing help.
I agree with this. If I were you and didn't want my child staying over at MIL's house overnight I would stop bringing up the fact that the baby isn't sleeping well and that you are tired.
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| Posted 9/12/12 12:17 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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MIL question....with poll
Can I have her #?? She can take my DD for a night!!
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| Posted 9/12/12 12:26 PM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17796 total posts
Name:
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Re: MIL question....with poll
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by MrsPorkChop
i think she is being nice...she probably thinks you are hinting that you are tired and needing help.
I agree with this.
Me too - it doesn't seem like she keeps on harping on the subject - her offer seems to fit with the context of your conversation.
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| Posted 9/12/12 12:39 PM |
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MySunshine
In love with my Baby Boy
Member since 3/11 2783 total posts
Name:
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Re: MIL question....with poll
Posted by Sparrow
I wouldn't be mad if she just mentioned it the 2 times that you mentioned, I'd say she was just being nice and letting you know the offer still stands. Since you said she brings this up repeatedly to DH it would piss me off. I would tell DH that he needs to keep telling her NO, you want your son at your own home during the week.
I just want to add, I think you're a saint for doing monthly sleep overs at their house. My own mother would kill for that and no way would I be willing to do it! I think that alone is going WAY above and beyond. She should be thanking her lucky stars lol!
Exactly this.
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| Posted 9/12/12 1:05 PM |
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anewday
<3
Member since 9/08 1493 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: MIL question....with poll
Posted by MySunshine
Posted by Sparrow
I wouldn't be mad if she just mentioned it the 2 times that you mentioned, I'd say she was just being nice and letting you know the offer still stands. Since you said she brings this up repeatedly to DH it would piss me off. I would tell DH that he needs to keep telling her NO, you want your son at your own home during the week.
I just want to add, I think you're a saint for doing monthly sleep overs at their house. My own mother would kill for that and no way would I be willing to do it! I think that alone is going WAY above and beyond. She should be thanking her lucky stars lol!
Exactly this.
totally agree on all parts
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| Posted 9/12/12 2:25 PM |
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summerbaby11
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/10 779 total posts
Name:
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Re: MIL question....with poll
Posted by Goobster
IMO she isn't being nice for your sake, she is pretending she is asking for you but she really wants this for herself. For me it would be a firm no that I would NOT change my mind on to accomdate her or appease her. I am not a fan of grandparents who want to play parent again, sorry if t his sounds harsh.And i just read about your monthly sleep over. She is absolutely trying to overstep her boundaries to keep asking about him staying over when you ALREADY let her watch him during the week AND sleep over once a mth!
You are a saint. I would NEVER go for that. I don't personally feel the need to give grandparents whatever they want. They had their kids and now this is our kid. Some grandparents can easily overstep boundaries when it comes to taking care of grandchildren and that to me can absolutely be a negative effect and snowball into much worse (such as her trying to overrule you). And the monthly sleep over thing just says to me that they want much more than I would ever be willing to give.
THIS x 1000%
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| Posted 9/12/12 2:36 PM |
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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
Name:
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Re: MIL question....with poll
I guess I would be annoyed since you have to keep repeating yourself but it's hard to imagine b/c when someone wants my kids overnight I'm like, SAYONARA!
Message edited 9/12/2012 3:42:36 PM.
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| Posted 9/12/12 3:41 PM |
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