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Sparrow
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 6826 total posts
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Re: Would this bother you and WWYD?
Posted by when
I don't understand your post.
Are you upset because you missed thie first time she sat on the potty?
If so, then you should just stay home all the time.
OR, are you upset because you didn't want her to use the potty yet?
If so, then why did you put the potty out in the first place?
Its all a personal decision. If you want her potty trained, then just go with it. If you want her to stay in diapers, then don't go on with it....but if thats the case than pu the potty away. I don't know why you would have it out in the first place if you didn't want her to use it.
I'm not overly upset or losing any sleep over this, I just wanted to get a public consensus if this would bother other people. I was a little sad that I missed the first time and a bit surprised and bothered that I wasn't asked about it first.
As to why the potty was out, I had read that it was a good idea to get the child used to seeing the potty around before you actually use it. I was slowly introducing her to the idea, I personally don't think she's really ready yet, she is barely even 17 months. Someone I know had their Ped tell them not to even start trying before 18 mo. The potty has been out in our house for a few weeks just to get her familiar with the idea.
As far as your comment suggesting I stay home all the time. . . Really? I'm not allowed to be a little sad that I missed something? This is a bit ridiculous, wouldn't you say?
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Posted 8/23/12 1:49 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Jan1975
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Member since 8/09 3846 total posts
Name:
Sarah
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Re: Would this bother you and WWYD?
Posted by Sparrow
Posted by when
I don't understand your post.
Are you upset because you missed thie first time she sat on the potty?
If so, then you should just stay home all the time.
OR, are you upset because you didn't want her to use the potty yet?
If so, then why did you put the potty out in the first place?
Its all a personal decision. If you want her potty trained, then just go with it. If you want her to stay in diapers, then don't go on with it....but if thats the case than pu the potty away. I don't know why you would have it out in the first place if you didn't want her to use it.
I'm not overly upset or losing any sleep over this, I just wanted to get a public consensus if this would bother other people. I was a little sad that I missed the first time and a bit surprised and bothered that I wasn't asked about it first.
As to why the potty was out, I had read that it was a good idea to get the child used to seeing the potty around before you actually use it. I was slowly introducing her to the idea, I personally don't think she's really ready yet, she is barely even 17 months. Someone I know had their Ped tell them not to even start trying before 18 mo. The potty has been out in our house for a few weeks just to get her familiar with the idea.
As far as your comment suggesting I stay home all the time. . . Really? I'm not allowed to be a little sad that I missed something? This is a bit ridiculous, wouldn't you say?
I understand. I would feel a slight disappointment that I missed the first time. However, I would be thrilled that my DD is actually going on the potty. For what it's worth, I am a FTWM (teacher) and when I get back to school in September my DD's babysitter is going to train her...it is what it is. I would rather her out of diapers in a way that works for her, not for me. 
Message edited 8/23/2012 1:55:15 PM.
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| Posted 8/23/12 1:54 PM |
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skinny
3 boys and a princess!
Member since 11/08 8178 total posts
Name:
Momma
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Re: Would this bother you and WWYD?
It wouldn't bother me! Please tell her that she can come to my house and potty train my kids.
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| Posted 8/23/12 2:02 PM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Would this bother you and WWYD?
I honestly can't remember if I was the one to put my kids on the potty first. It may have been me, or DH, or it may have been my MIL. Either way, in the grand scheme of things, I don't think it's worth it to get upset about it. It's great that your MIL was trying to help and I don't think she was trying to take that away from you. For all she knew, you had already sat DD on the potty.
Take a picture of DD on the potty tonight, and in about 4 years, you'll look back at that picture being the first time YOU put her on the potty.
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| Posted 8/23/12 2:20 PM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: Would this bother you and WWYD?
Posted by nferrandi
Posted by mrsv1015
Honestly, I would be thrilled and if she has the patience to keep trying with her I say go for it. I dont see it as stepping on toes at all. I see it as trying to help you and your DD both. I would however work on this with her yourself when you are home for consistancy purposes.
I started training when they were ready, not when I was.
I agree. I don't really see it as a big deal. And remember, just because she did it once does not mean she's ready. My DS peed on the potty in June and hasn't done it since. We put him on the potty occasionally when he wants to, but he doesn't do anything.
This!
Considering how much time I spend in any various bathrooms watching my child just wishing she'd just PEE already so we can get OUT of the bathroom.. yeah I see no issue missing "The First Pee"
And seriously, more power to anyone else who wants to take on that duty of training her. Id stick with it though, why not? You have nothing to lose. If she keeps it up, great, if not, no biggie.
I also agree the Ped doesnt really know when she's ready, she does. My brother and I were both potty trained by 18m EASILY. My father swears I was done by 12m. He was shocked how large diapers got (when we adopted my twin brothers and sisters they were not potty trained so early). Every kid is different.
I also agree you will laugh later how it seemed you may have missed that first pee moment. Especially as you run to the bathroom at a near accident.
So no, wouldnt bother me at all.
I'd stick with it and thank the MIL, maybe say "she's young to be starting this, if she doesn't stick with it, lets not push her ok?" I would want to set the ground rules you dont want to 'push' potty training on her and if it seems your daughter isn't interested anymore there's still plenty of time later to try again.
JMHO
Oh and side note, I hope it works out with the potty training!
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| Posted 8/23/12 2:35 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Would this bother you and WWYD?
Posted by skinny
It wouldn't bother me! Please tell her that she can come to my house and potty train my kids.
I was just going to say- if someone, ANYONE got my DD to decide she was interested in doign more than just sitting on the potty fully clothed, I'd probably pay them!!
I DREAD the thought of having to do it- so if someone got her to do it, I'd be thrilled to death.
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| Posted 8/23/12 2:40 PM |
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ME75
Member since 10/06 4563 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would this bother you and WWYD?
i understand being upset-i think it's warranted...but man if she can get that kid potty trained-go with it!  i am trying to train my 3 year old and it is  i would pay someone at this point to do it!
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| Posted 8/23/12 3:45 PM |
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when
Maybe this time?
Member since 7/07 1761 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would this bother you and WWYD?
As far as your comment suggesting I stay home all the time. . . Really? I'm not allowed to be a little sad that I missed something? This is a bit ridiculous, wouldn't you say?
maybe you need to communicate with your MIL a bit better.....and let her know that even though you have a potty out, you don't want to use it.
To your original question, NO. I would not be upset. I'd be thrilled if my MIL (or anyone) could potty train my child! She's her grandmother....aren't you greatful that she even babysits for you? I personally could never imagine my MIL doing something so nice for me......no offense but you sound ungreatful.
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| Posted 8/23/12 4:16 PM |
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Serendipity
Summer!
Member since 4/07 7631 total posts
Name:
PrayingWishingHopingALOT
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Re: Would this bother you and WWYD?
Posted by Linda1003
Yes it would bother me for a few reasons:
1. YOu missed it
2. It's stepping on your toes as the parents
3. It may confuse DD if you aren't ready to train her and your MIL is doing it during the day!! It wont be consistant.
ITA!! I feel for you.
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| Posted 8/23/12 6:29 PM |
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nancy6485
So in love
Member since 10/05 3363 total posts
Name:
Nancy
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Re: Would this bother you and WWYD?
Posted by mrsv1015
Honestly, I would be thrilled and if she has the patience to keep trying with her I say go for it. I dont see it as stepping on toes at all. I see it as trying to help you and your DD both. I would however work on this with her yourself when you are home for consistancy purposes.
I started training when they were ready, not when I was.
ITA!
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| Posted 8/23/12 6:58 PM |
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Sparrow
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 6826 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would this bother you and WWYD?
Posted by when
maybe you need to communicate with your MIL a bit better.....and let her know that even though you have a potty out, you don't want to use it.
To your original question, NO. I would not be upset. I'd be thrilled if my MIL (or anyone) could potty train my child! She's her grandmother....aren't you greatful that she even babysits for you? I personally could never imagine my MIL doing something so nice for me......no offense but you sound ungreatful.
Yes I am grateful but in our families a grandmother babysitting isn't all that unusual, it's just part of what they love to do. I know MIL (and my mom when she is able) find it to be more of a pleasure than a chore. I guess not all people are so lucky to have this . . .
I don't think wanting to be asked first on things makes me ungrateful at all. I am thrilled to have the help once we're ready to start!
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| Posted 8/23/12 7:04 PM |
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Teachergal
We made a snowman!
Member since 1/08 3239 total posts
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Re: Would this bother you and WWYD?
Posted by Serendipity
Posted by Linda1003
Yes it would bother me for a few reasons:
1. YOu missed it
2. It's stepping on your toes as the parents
3. It may confuse DD if you aren't ready to train her and your MIL is doing it during the day!! It wont be consistant.
ITA!! I feel for you.
I totally agree. She was out of line to do that without asking you first. My mom and my MIL would have asked me how we were potty-training so that they could do what WE were doing. They never would just take it upon themselves to "get started". It was not her place to do that. I would also have wanted to be there to cheer for her first time making pee-pee. You don't sound ungrateful to me!
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| Posted 8/23/12 7:12 PM |
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KartveliT
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Member since 1/08 8363 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would this bother you and WWYD?
I'm sorry am I missing something here? What is the big deal?
I'm a huge control freak but this would def not bother me at all. If anything I'd be glad , but that's just me...
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| Posted 8/23/12 7:23 PM |
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clmj2
cant believe hes gone
Member since 3/07 4407 total posts
Name:
Candice
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Re: Would this bother you and WWYD?
i honestly cannot even remember where DD went on the potty for the first time!
i know i was the one to take the leap and put her in big girl undies all day...but the first time she went she could have been at daycare...no clue.
i would be happy someone else is doing the work LOL i LOVED that DD was in a daycare setting that was so helpful with potty training.
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| Posted 8/23/12 8:49 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
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Re: Would this bother you and WWYD?
honestly, as a mother of a 3 year old boy.. he only likes to sit on the potty for a couple minutes.... I would love him to sit on the potty and go- regardless of who gets him to do it. He's in daycare full time and they also try and sit him on the potty....However, daycare knew we wanted to start potty training....
I think in your case I'd be happy the kid has been successful at sitting on it, sounds like she'll be able to keep at it, and is ready, plus unless you are with the kid 24/7 you are bound to miss some first. If you started trying her to do it at a later age she still might not do it til the one day someone else is watching her....... But by it being done without your asking, opens the floodgates to to more things being done without askling you, so it would annoy me a little.
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| Posted 8/23/12 8:54 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Would this bother you and WWYD?
Posted by Teachergal
Posted by Serendipity
Posted by Linda1003
Yes it would bother me for a few reasons:
1. YOu missed it
2. It's stepping on your toes as the parents
3. It may confuse DD if you aren't ready to train her and your MIL is doing it during the day!! It wont be consistant.
ITA!! I feel for you.
I totally agree. She was out of line to do that without asking you first. My mom and my MIL would have asked me how we were potty-training so that they could do what WE were doing. They never would just take it upon themselves to "get started". It was not her place to do that. I would also have wanted to be there to cheer for her first time making pee-pee. You don't sound ungrateful to me!
I do feel bad that the OP is upset by this and i dont think she sounds ungrateful, but I don't think her MIL was out of line either. The potty was out, why would she think to ask? It's not like she purchased one and brought it over.
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| Posted 8/23/12 8:59 PM |
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SweetPeaMomma
LIF Adolescent
Member since 7/07 806 total posts
Name:
jen
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Re: Would this bother you and WWYD?
while i think you should be happy that your MIL got her to use the potty b/c that's great and hopefully it'll make it easier for you to continue w it...i would definitely be upset, too. but i think i'd try to think of her POV and imagine she must have thought she was doing you a favor. if i were you i'd give myself time to be annoyed and then let it go. while i understand your hurt feelings, i don't think it's worth having hurt feelings between you and MIL over it.
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| Posted 8/23/12 9:09 PM |
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wingsofsong
My 3 little loves <3<3<3
Member since 1/09 7395 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Would this bother you and WWYD?
Posted by when
As far as your comment suggesting I stay home all the time. . . Really? I'm not allowed to be a little sad that I missed something? This is a bit ridiculous, wouldn't you say?
maybe you need to communicate with your MIL a bit better.....and let her know that even though you have a potty out, you don't want to use it.
To your original question, NO. I would not be upset. I'd be thrilled if my MIL (or anyone) could potty train my child! She's her grandmother....aren't you greatful that she even babysits for you? I personally could never imagine my MIL doing something so nice for me......no offense but you sound ungreatful.
I hardly think being a little upset over one thing her MIL did makes her ungrateful. She started off the whole thing by saying how much MIL does for them and how generous and great she is. Because her MIL watches her daughter twice a week, that means she is not allowed to ever be a little upset over anything she does with her. Come on, be real.
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| Posted 8/23/12 10:23 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would this bother you and WWYD?
Go with it! That is definitely something I could not possibly care less with being involved with. If someone else is willing to take that challenge on, let them! In the end, it will make things easier for you. I would be greatful!
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| Posted 8/23/12 11:25 PM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Would this bother you and WWYD?
Posted by nferrandi
Posted by mrsv1015
Honestly, I would be thrilled and if she has the patience to keep trying with her I say go for it. I dont see it as stepping on toes at all. I see it as trying to help you and your DD both. I would however work on this with her yourself when you are home for consistancy purposes.
I started training when they were ready, not when I was.
I agree. I don't really see it as a big deal. And remember, just because she did it once does not mean she's ready. My DS peed on the potty in June and hasn't done it since. We put him on the potty occasionally when he wants to, but he doesn't do anything.
I agree with this. Going on the potty here and there doesn't mean much of anything honestly. Even going consistently at a certain time every day doesn't mean anything. I personally wouldn't want to potty train at 18 mo but, that's just my opinion.
As for the other question - I wouldn't really care and things bother me easily  trust me, she'll be going on the potty many many many times for you to see! I'm sure if MIL saw the potty she thought that meant you were ready to potty train her and was just eager to help.
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| Posted 8/23/12 11:34 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would this bother you and WWYD?
I would be LIVID.
My DD is at my MIL's once a week for a few hours, just for a visit. If I am not there, she puts her in underwear and actively potty trains her. It is infuriating. If my DH wasn't such a mama's boy he would say something and no matter what I say doesn't matter and it reeeeeally pisses me off.
SO I FEEL FOR YOU!!! stand up for yourself, I try and it falls on deaf ears....
!!!!
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| Posted 8/24/12 6:28 AM |
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summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
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Re: Would this bother you and WWYD?
yeah, I'd be annoyed but at the same time, she probably didn't think she did anything wrong. I think when women become grandmothers, they forget to be a little thoughtful to their daughter's or dil's feelings towards things like this.
In this case though, you can still take control. Since mil only watches dd once a week, you can really begin to train her starting the day after she watches her for the entire week & then give mil your potty training rules to follow. OR if you aren't ready yet, hide the potty next time mil comes by. Don't be too upset over it though
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| Posted 8/24/12 8:06 AM |
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Teachergal
We made a snowman!
Member since 1/08 3239 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would this bother you and WWYD?
Posted by nferrandi
Posted by Teachergal
Posted by Serendipity
Posted by Linda1003
Yes it would bother me for a few reasons:
1. YOu missed it
2. It's stepping on your toes as the parents
3. It may confuse DD if you aren't ready to train her and your MIL is doing it during the day!! It wont be consistant.
ITA!! I feel for you.
I totally agree. She was out of line to do that without asking you first. My mom and my MIL would have asked me how we were potty-training so that they could do what WE were doing. They never would just take it upon themselves to "get started". It was not her place to do that. I would also have wanted to be there to cheer for her first time making pee-pee. You don't sound ungrateful to me!
I do feel bad that the OP is upset by this and i dont think she sounds ungrateful, but I don't think her MIL was out of line either. The potty was out, why would she think to ask? It's not like she purchased one and brought it over.
I guess I can only answer from my own experience with my MIL, but all along, whenever she has watched my DS, she always asks how I like things done- how to feed him, when to put him to bed, how to put him to bed, what he likes to play with, etc. So for her to all of a sudden take it upon herself to say "I'm going to start potty training him"- that would be out of line to me. That's what it comes down to for me. The decision as to WHEN to start potty training should rest in the hands of the parent, not a MIL. And by putting him on the potty, it is basically starting the ball rolling.
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| Posted 8/24/12 8:26 AM |
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