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hotsauce345
my love, my life, my son
Member since 1/09 4169 total posts
Name:
Melody
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OMG...me and DH are about to have it out re: BFing!!
I was watching videos about bfing online and he just made a comment about how i'd better not whip my tit out in public.
so i said "first of all, it's not like i'd just whip my tit out...i did buy a nursing cover for that purpose" and he says "yeah you go in a bathroom stall" OHHHHHH HELL NO!!! WRONG THING TO SAY TO ME!!! so i say "there's no way in hell I'm taking myself and my baby and straddling an unsanitary toilet to feed my baby."
he says "well you wouldn't change a baby diaper in public would you?" to which i replied "no, I wouldn't...but i myself also wouldn't piss or **** in public...its excrement and its unsanitary...I WOULD however EAT in public around others!"
so he goes on to say he's a VERY VERY private person and I'm sure we can find some middle ground...but he also says "i think you should always pump before you go out and take a bottle. now... i do have a pump...but it was meant for use if i'm not around. i don't think I should forgo bfing / bonding just because i leave my house
omg...he just sooooo hit on a hot button issue with me!
how do you ladies feel about this? do you and DH disagree on things like this?
Message edited 7/3/2011 5:02:00 PM.
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Posted 7/3/11 5:00 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
LotsaLuv
Us
Member since 6/10 4094 total posts
Name:
F
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Re: OMG...me and DH are about to have it out re: BFing!!
I think it's a personal decision. I personally would not feel comfortable doing it, so that is one of the reasons I am getting a pump, but plenty of women have no problem with it so it's your own decision.
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| Posted 7/3/11 5:19 PM |
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buttercup
St. Jude pray for us...
Member since 1/11 2951 total posts
Name:
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Re: OMG...me and DH are about to have it out re: BFing!!
DH kinda asked me, how I plan on BFing in public. I'm a private person, and my response was ambigious at best. He let it go.. and I agree, it is a personal decision. You should do what you are comfortable with.. but the bathroom stall thing does not sit well with me.. eek touching the door knob and then my boob and my baby's mouth.. no can do for me.
Tell him you'll figure it out.. countless of women do it everyday.. 
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| Posted 7/3/11 5:40 PM |
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hotsauce345
my love, my life, my son
Member since 1/09 4169 total posts
Name:
Melody
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Re: OMG...me and DH are about to have it out re: BFing!!
he saw the conversation was getting me riled up so he did say he supports me 100% and was just like "we'll figure it out" and then he said "ur just a bit more "Bohemian than me" 
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| Posted 7/3/11 7:55 PM |
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Kassie
LIF Infant
Member since 12/10 240 total posts
Name:
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Re: OMG...me and DH are about to have it out re: BFing!!
I am very shy so with DS 4 yrs ago I would go into department stores and BF in changing rooms...
I did BF in a bathroom a couple times but it was unpleasant.
This time I bought a nursing cover. PPL seem to be more tolerant with a cover.
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| Posted 7/3/11 8:15 PM |
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checka
She's here!
Member since 5/05 1769 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: OMG...me and DH are about to have it out re: BFing!!
I am personally very shy so I don't want to breastfeed in public. DH would also not be comfortable with me breastfeeding in public.
The woman in front of me on line at the doctor's office last time was breastfeeding her baby with one of those covers on. I have to say, it was so discreet that DH didn't even know she was breastfeeding.
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| Posted 7/3/11 8:44 PM |
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springsandra
Baby girl has a baby brother!
Member since 11/09 7155 total posts
Name:
Sandra
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Re: OMG...me and DH are about to have it out re: BFing!!
It's funny... I thought I was a "private person" until after I gave birth. The way you are just out there, every bit of your body hanging out, pushing a child out your vagina -- it changes your perspective on privacy. Once you experience it, you start to think about all the people you know who are mothers and how they, too, have gone through all that. It's somewhat humbling, and definitely strips you of a lot of blushing issues. If your husband is in the room with you during your delivery (which I imagine he will be), hopefully it will change his opinions too.
I used to be the type of person who blushed when someone talked about a chicken breast because the word breast made me blush. Then I was sexually assaulted in college and it actually made me feel empowered to be able to talk about it.
When the time comes, you'll do what is natural and feels right to you. Yes, you'll still consider your husband's opinion, but after the first two sleep-deprived weeks of parenthood, he's going to have a lot more of an understanding of what convenience and comfort are worth.
My advice right now is to postpone your battles about it. Tell him you'll discuss it once the situation arises to make sure all 3 of you are as comfortable as possible. Hopefully that will appease him for now, and keep you confident that the baby will come first.
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| Posted 7/3/11 8:50 PM |
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Re: OMG...me and DH are about to have it out re: BFing!!
Posted by springsandra
It's funny... I thought I was a "private person" until after I gave birth. The way you are just out there, every bit of your body hanging out, pushing a child out your vagina -- it changes your perspective on privacy. Once you experience it, you start to think about all the people you know who are mothers and how they, too, have gone through all that. It's somewhat humbling, and definitely strips you of a lot of blushing issues. If your husband is in the room with you during your delivery (which I imagine he will be), hopefully it will change his opinions too.
Lol I was just going to say this. Once you give birth all sense of modesty goes straight out the window!! You don't quite understand until after you give birth but I promise you that you will have no shame or embarrassment any longer about practically anything.
I do feed my dd in public (usually with a nursing cover) but if she has to eat no matter where I am, I will feed her. The
way I see it is if people don't like it, they don't have to don't look!!!!
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| Posted 7/3/11 9:32 PM |
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Bella311
Me and my Boys
Member since 1/10 1400 total posts
Name:
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Re: OMG...me and DH are about to have it out re: BFing!!
I never really BF'd in public , maybe only a handful of times, when we were at IL's house for the day I would go into a separate quiet room close the door and BF DS in there. If I was out and about I would BF in the backseat of my car (tinted windows). There gets to a point where your DC gets distracted easily so it's almost impossible to do it w/out a cover if you're in public...otherwise they'll latch off and want to look around to constantly see what's going on lol.
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| Posted 7/3/11 9:40 PM |
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Bearcat
Love my little girls!!! <3
Member since 6/10 10818 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: OMG...me and DH are about to have it out re: BFing!!
i will not breastfeed in public, with or without a nursing cover. dh completely agrees with that decision. sorry you're dealing with this 
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| Posted 7/3/11 9:55 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: OMG...me and DH are about to have it out re: BFing!!
My DH was totally supportive. I BF wherever and whenever I was comfortable. That's what they're made for.
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| Posted 7/3/11 9:58 PM |
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Momma2Be
Mommy of an angel
Member since 10/09 5911 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: OMG...me and DH are about to have it out re: BFing!!
Posted by monkeybride
My DH was totally supportive. I BF wherever and whenever I was comfortable. That's what they're made for.
ITA. I NEVER thought I'd be the type of person to BF in public, I am way too shy. When DS was first born, I'd go back to the car and BF him there if it were feasible. Other times, I would sit on a bench with the stroller in front of me and DH sitting next to me kind of blocking me from view. After a few months, I got comfortable enough to just BF wherever, whenever. If someone had a problem with it, it was THEIR issue, not mine. DH is 100% supportive about it and doesn't feel weird about me BF in public at all.
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| Posted 7/3/11 10:04 PM |
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JulyMommy2Be
Happy Autumn<3
Member since 12/10 1328 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: OMG...me and DH are about to have it out re: BFing!!
Posted by checka
I am personally very shy so I don't want to breastfeed in public. DH would also not be comfortable with me breastfeeding in public.
same here! even with a breast feeding cover, you will not find me out in public breastfeeding.
if anything i would go sit in the backseat of my truck to do so if I was out shopping or something, and DH totally agrees with my decision.
sorry you are going through this though!
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| Posted 7/3/11 11:00 PM |
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Fallbaby09
number 3...coming soon!
Member since 4/09 1811 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: OMG...me and DH are about to have it out re: BFing!!
You might be surprised how things change once your dc is here.
Before I got pg with DS I NEVER wanted to bf. While i was pg, changed my mind and decided that maybe I'd give it a try. I remember having conversations with DH about bf'ing in public and we both agreed that it wasn't something that I would do. Well, let me tell you, EVERYTHING changed once DS was here and I can't believe that we ever thought the way that we did. I not only bf DS in front of my dad and strangers, I also pumped with my shirt off! Yeah....it might sound crazy, but you just don't care!
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| Posted 7/3/11 11:16 PM |
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Ready4aBaby
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/10 833 total posts
Name:
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Re: OMG...me and DH are about to have it out re: BFing!!
Posted by JulyMommy2Be
Posted by checka
I am personally very shy so I don't want to breastfeed in public. DH would also not be comfortable with me breastfeeding in public.
same here! even with a breast feeding cover, you will not find me out in public breastfeeding.
if anything i would go sit in the backseat of my truck to do so if I was out shopping or something, and DH totally agrees with my decision.
sorry you are going through this though!
I agree, I'm not comfortable with being so out there, even with the cover. I'd just feel more comfy being in private, I'd go in my car or excuse myself to another room if I was at someones house. I think you should do what works for you though 
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| Posted 7/3/11 11:48 PM |
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hotsauce345
my love, my life, my son
Member since 1/09 4169 total posts
Name:
Melody
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Re: OMG...me and DH are about to have it out re: BFing!!
Posted by Fallbaby09
You might be surprised how things change once your dc is here.
Before I got pg with DS I NEVER wanted to bf. While i was pg, changed my mind and decided that maybe I'd give it a try. I remember having conversations with DH about bf'ing in public and we both agreed that it wasn't something that I would do. Well, let me tell you, EVERYTHING changed once DS was here and I can't believe that we ever thought the way that we did. I not only bf DS in front of my dad and strangers, I also pumped with my shirt off! Yeah....it might sound crazy, but you just don't care!
everybody has their own preferences and comfort levels and BFing in public isn't for everyone and i get that...but i think it's kind of sad how breasts have been turned into an "inappropriate sex object" on a woman rather than a beautiful natural source of nutrition. I never really saw it as being inappropriate...i always saw it as feeding your baby. don't get me wrong...if i'm at a restaurant...I'm not gonna whip oit a boob at the table...i'd try to find a less conspicuous area...but lets say i was out in a mall or shopping...i'd like to think if i found a low traffic area with seating that people wouldn't make me feel dirty about feeding my child...especially considering nowadays that there are nursing covers. like...what the heck was the point of me buying one if i'm still expected to hide out in some cramped dirty bathroom stall.
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| Posted 7/3/11 11:57 PM |
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Ready4aBaby
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/10 833 total posts
Name:
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Re: OMG...me and DH are about to have it out re: BFing!!
Posted by MrsMeloyellow
Posted by Fallbaby09
You might be surprised how things change once your dc is here.
Before I got pg with DS I NEVER wanted to bf. While i was pg, changed my mind and decided that maybe I'd give it a try. I remember having conversations with DH about bf'ing in public and we both agreed that it wasn't something that I would do. Well, let me tell you, EVERYTHING changed once DS was here and I can't believe that we ever thought the way that we did. I not only bf DS in front of my dad and strangers, I also pumped with my shirt off! Yeah....it might sound crazy, but you just don't care!
everybody has their own preferences and comfort levels and BFing in public isn't for everyone and i get that...but i think it's kind of sad how breasts have been turned into an "inappropriate sex object" on a woman rather than a beautiful natural source of nutrition. I never really saw it as being inappropriate...i always saw it as feeding your baby. don't get me wrong...if i'm at a restaurant...I'm not gonna whip oit a boob at the table...i'd try to find a less conspicuous area...but lets say i was out in a mall or shopping...i'd like to think if i found a low traffic area with seating that people wouldn't make me feel dirty about feeding my child...especially considering nowadays that there are nursing covers. like...what the heck was the point of me buying one if i'm still expected to hide out in some cramped dirty bathroom stall.
I definitely don't think you should let anyone make you feel dirty.. or shunned to a gross bathroom stall.. even your DH. You have to do what works for you and I think that with the cover you are being very respectful of others.
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| Posted 7/4/11 12:11 AM |
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MrsKS
Thank You St. Gerard.....
Member since 12/09 8306 total posts
Name:
Kerri
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Re: OMG...me and DH are about to have it out re: BFing!!
Posted by MrsMeloyellow
he saw the conversation was getting me riled up so he did say he supports me 100% and was just like "we'll figure it out" and then he said "ur just a bit more "Bohemian than me"
DH doesn't care about this.
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| Posted 7/4/11 12:21 AM |
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Re: OMG...me and DH are about to have it out re: BFing!!
I feel perfectly comfortable bfing in public...I bought a few covers so I dont make others uncomfortable, but bfing is a natural thing & I don't feel I shld have to go hide somewhere just to feed my baby the way nature intended!!! I say do what makes you comfortable! Others have to deal! DH is supportive of me, but even if he wasn't it wldnt stop me!
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| Posted 7/4/11 1:42 AM |
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Re: OMG...me and DH are about to have it out re: BFing!!
Actually my DH was a bfing CHAMPION. Everytime I wanted to quit pumping or trying to bf he was right on me to do it. We had a lot of fights about it, but he was looking out for what I wanted long before I felt like a milking cow and was exhausted. You have to find a middle ground somwhere, and it may take time. I will say that once he sees you bfing and it becomes more routine he may change his mind. I can also say I did not nurse in public. It just wasn't for me so I pumped before I went somewhere and brought a bottle with me. I also ep for 9wks and then baby latched and I ebf. I still pumped as well so we did have bottle available when I went to work. Give it some time. LOTS can change once LO is here
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| Posted 7/4/11 5:15 PM |
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BigSmooch
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/10 747 total posts
Name:
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Re: OMG...me and DH are about to have it out re: BFing!!
There have been a few times that I have had the experience of strangers breastfeeding very close to me and my husband. Once was the next table over in a restaurant and once was next to me in the airport terminal. I don't remember either one of those mothers being covered because I can remember seeing their breast but not their nipple. I felt really uncomfortable and I wished they would have gone somewhere more private. I probably even gave an eyeroll  and my DH and I were definitely thinking "ew gross". Those experiences were before we were even thinking about TTC. I'm just being honest and at that time that was my perspective about breastfeeding in public.
Now that I'm pregnant and plan on breastfeeding I know that I'll be that woman whipping her boob out wherever, whenever to feed my baby.
So maybe once your baby is born your DH will feel different? Perspective can change. I know mine did.
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| Posted 7/4/11 7:31 PM |
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TheDivineMrsM
2 girls 4 me!
Member since 8/08 7878 total posts
Name:
Mama mama mama....
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Re: OMG...me and DH are about to have it out re: BFing!!
Posted by Kassie
I am very shy so with DS 4 yrs ago I would go into department stores and BF in changing rooms...
I do this with DD all the time. I'd have no problems feeding her in public, but DD isn't a fan. As PPs said, modesty goes out the window.
I've changed her diaper in all kinds of places: my car, her stroller at the beach, and most recently, my friend's backyard. You can't control where a diaper explodes.
Tell your DH to relax!
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| Posted 7/4/11 9:15 PM |
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MrsKS
Thank You St. Gerard.....
Member since 12/09 8306 total posts
Name:
Kerri
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Re: OMG...me and DH are about to have it out re: BFing!!
Can I please just tell you ...
SO many people have seen my boobs since Wed!! The staff at the hospital to friends, family, etc.
But I might feel uncomfortable whipping it out in public. I plan to pump for those times!! :) if i had to tho, i def would!!
Message edited 7/5/2011 12:17:20 AM.
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| Posted 7/5/11 12:03 AM |
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MrsKS
Thank You St. Gerard.....
Member since 12/09 8306 total posts
Name:
Kerri
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Re: OMG...me and DH are about to have it out re: BFing!!
Posted by KevinNKristin8-15-08
Posted by springsandra
It's funny... I thought I was a "private person" until after I gave birth. The way you are just out there, every bit of your body hanging out, pushing a child out your vagina -- it changes your perspective on privacy. Once you experience it, you start to think about all the people you know who are mothers and how they, too, have gone through all that. It's somewhat humbling, and definitely strips you of a lot of blushing issues. If your husband is in the room with you during your delivery (which I imagine he will be), hopefully it will change his opinions too.
Lol I was just going to say this. Once you give birth all sense of modesty goes straight out the window!! You don't quite understand until after you give birth but I promise you that you will have no shame or embarrassment any longer about practically anything.
I do feed my dd in public (usually with a nursing cover) but if she has to eat no matter where I am, I will feed her. The
way I see it is if people don't like it, they don't have to don't look!!!!
ITA with both posts.... and really if i had to bf in public i would.
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| Posted 7/5/11 12:16 AM |
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MayBbaby21
Baby no. 3 coming soon!
Member since 6/09 5738 total posts
Name:
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Re: OMG...me and DH are about to have it out re: BFing!!
Posted by Momma2Be
Posted by monkeybride
My DH was totally supportive. I BF wherever and whenever I was comfortable. That's what they're made for.
ITA. I NEVER thought I'd be the type of person to BF in public, I am way too shy. When DS was first born, I'd go back to the car and BF him there if it were feasible. Other times, I would sit on a bench with the stroller in front of me and DH sitting next to me kind of blocking me from view. After a few months, I got comfortable enough to just BF wherever, whenever. If someone had a problem with it, it was THEIR issue, not mine. DH is 100% supportive about it and doesn't feel weird about me BF in public at all.
Same here! In the beginning, I'd leave the room--even if it was just family. Then I started resenting that I'd have to disappear for 20 mins or so and started using my coverup more. Now I don't even think twice about it. And DH is fine with it. Yesterday we were at the beach with some of his friends. I actually did go to the car, only because I figured we'd both be more comfortable in AC, but later on I had to feed her again, so just did it under the umbrella with my cover. I don't even think half the crowd noticed.
Maybe your DH will feel differently about it when the baby is here and he sees you do it with the cover. No one can see anything.
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| Posted 7/5/11 8:43 AM |
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