Which do you prefer to attend?

My shower is in the early stages of being planned. the family member planning it wants it at her house. I don't want it there. I offered my home because I really didn't want hers. she said fine, but she's going to do all the work.

Truth be told, I want it at a restaraunt. But since this family member (not my mother) is paying for it, I feel its rude of me to ask for it at a place because in the end it will cost more money.

which do you rather attend a shower in a home or a place? a few of my friends told me a home. if a house gets more votes, then I will keep it here. I personally prefer a place when I go to a shower.

thanks for your help!

Re: Which do you prefer to attend?

It's your shower - mention to her your preference.

Personally, I love doing it at someone's home because it feels more special. But this is YOUR shower. If you say something and she refuses because of the expense, you can either offer to contribute, or resign to making it special at your home.

I had mine at my home and it was wonderful. Friends could go upstairs and see the beginnings of DD's nursery too, which was neat. We were able to have SO much food, as well as a separate "paint the onesies" room. I have an open floor plan, though, so that helped. We had about 30 people.

Re: Which do you prefer to attend?

I've never been to a shower at a home, so it's hard to say. However, I can see the appeal of having it at the mom-to-be's home -- no lugging gifts all over!

Re: Which do you prefer to attend?

it depends on how many people are coming and if it can be held outdoors, but i still definitely prefer when it's out somewhere.

the only home showers i've been to have been indoors and very hot, cramped, and lacking seating for everyone.

Re: Which do you prefer to attend?

I don't care either way but I actually wanted mine at my Moms but it was in October. We had my sisters baby shower at my Moms outside and I loved it.

Maybe the person who is paying for it can't afford to have it at a restaurant?

Kind of a tough position to be in. If it were me, I'd just leave it. Do you trust her to make it nice?

Message edited 7/1/2011 10:04:56 PM.

Re: Which do you prefer to attend?

I'm actually having mine at my house, because i don't want it out at a place. I'd rather not have my bf and mother (who are throwing the shower) spend that kind of money anyway.
im much happier going to a person's home anyway - its more casual, more intimate and more personal to me

but that's just me. Plenty of other people prefer having it out at a place

are you sure money isn't an issue? if it is, then maybe that's why she's suggesting having it at her house

Re: Which do you prefer to attend?

it's your preference.

i've been to both showers, at home & at a place. both are nice and enjoyable! it's all about the people you are surrounded by, not where it is.

Re: Which do you prefer to attend?

I'm a fan of home showers b/c when they are out, I only get to talk to the people at my table. Home showers allow for more mingling. But only if the home has the room and the right layout.
ETA: I usually like homemade food more than restaurants too.

Message edited 7/1/2011 11:09:30 PM.

Re: Which do you prefer to attend?

I've been to both and had a great time at both kinds. My bridal shower was at a restaurant and my baby shower was at my mom's house. Both were awesome.
Honestly, IMO, a shower is a gift. It is a party thrown for you by family/friends who care about you and I would be so grateful just to have a shower thrown for me. I do think it is rude to say that you want it at a restaurant because her home is not good enough for you (especially since you offered your own home, that would definitely have hurt my feelings if I were her). The fact that she is insisting that she do all of the work sounds to me like she really wants to make this special for you. Maybe she can't afford to host an entire shower out at a restaurant. I would honestly feel honored and grateful for her generosity in whatever capacity she offers it.

Re: Which do you prefer to attend?

It doesn't matter to me to be honest, I have been to both at home and destination showers and both came out very nice.

My bridal shower was in my moms backyard they rented a huge white tent and decorated so nice, I was very happy with it.

My baby shower was at a place, and same thing decorated very nice and I was very happy with it.

IMO if someone is throwing you a shower you should appreciate the time and effort they put into it no matter where it is, I am sure it will be just as beautiful if it were in your family members house. I am not saying you arn't being appreciative, but sometimes we have to pick our battles and I don't think the location of the shower should mean so much, everyone is there to celebrate you & your baby so it will turn out wonderful no matter what!

Good Luck

Re: Which do you prefer to attend?

I've had both - bridal shower out and my baby shower at my mom's. I've also attended both as a guest. I like both but my preference is at a house. I feel like it's more casual, hosts get more creative, it's more personaliized and you can get up and move around. I personally HATE baby showers and I hate watching mom to be open gifts b/c I find it utterly boring...even at my own. LOL

Also, just some food for thought, I don't know where you are in your pregnancy but you never know what can happen. I was having a healthy pregnancy and then at 25 weeks, things took a turn and I've been on bedrest ever since. If it had been at a restaurant I probably couldn't have gone. I was able to attend b/c I could lay on a lounge chair the whole time.

Re: Which do you prefer to attend?

Re: Which do you prefer to attend?

Re: Which do you prefer to attend?

It's very expensive to host a shower at a place. Depending on your guest list, it will quickly run in the thousands.

Say $40 pp (including tip & tax)... which is REALLY hard to find.

$40 X 60 people = $2,400!

That's a lot of money.

IMO, unless you can find family members to chip in, be gracious & accept a house party.

Re: Which do you prefer to attend?

As long as the food is good I'm happy.

Re: Which do you prefer to attend?

I think I would want mine at my own house if I was going to have one. It just seems very special that way. But I do like parties at restaurants too. I don't think it would matter to me much.

I've been to both types and honestly the people make the party not the location.

Re: Which do you prefer to attend?

Re: Which do you prefer to attend?

Re: Which do you prefer to attend?

And for the record I am soooo not ungrateful. I am soo thankful she is doing this for me. I just feel like its a lot of work that falls on her, she will need to clean up and setup, and she is not the healthly-est of people. she has a lot of health things going on. I can help as much as possible but I also would like to selfishly I guess enjoy my shower. I think she would enjoy my shower as well if she didn't have to setup/cleanup. it would be so much easier to just show up to a place and enjoy.

I didn't realize it was that much money though, like someone else said.

I guess I will just leave it at my house.
She knows I suggested my house because its larger and can fit a lot more people. I didn't do it to be mean and step on toes, I think she knew that for sure.

Re: Which do you prefer to attend?

This is part of the reason why I paid for my own shower. If someone else is footing the bill, I would have felt at their mercy and I really didn't want certain things.

When I go to a shower, personally I don't care where it is. As long as there is punch and some snacks, i am a happy camper ! But for mine, I didn't want it at anyone's house and I didn't want it at my own house, I would be stuck cleaning for a week before and a week after

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I'm really NOT a fan of having it at a house.. I much prefer a restaurant/hall type place

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We had our at a place because it ended up being on the big side (50ish) and we didn't want my mom or MIL to stress out about cleaning the house, details, etc. It was convenient this way. They barely did any work and we actually paid for it and did the invites, favors, etc. The moms mostly bought decorations. They both had a good time :)

Re: Which do you prefer to attend?

I think it depends on how many people will be coming. I had to have mine at a place because we had 75 women attending. I would've preferred something smaller at home though.

Re: Which do you prefer to attend?

Re: Which do you prefer to attend?

I prefer at a place. Honestly, because you know there is a start time and end time, you can kind of ask for a drink if you need one, and you know you have a seat. Sometimes things are cramped in a home. And if its in a restaurant, things tend to move along a little better, IMO.

But I have been to both and as long as the house is large enough and things tend to move along, I like them both.