Anyone else have an obsessive fear about their DC having a developmental disorder/autism?

OK, I know I sound completely nuts so bear with me but I am obsessed with the fear that Jordan (17 months) is going to have a major developmental disorder, like autism. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I have a son. I do feel that his speech is a little behind and it is a concern for me, but I feel like I am always "looking" for symptoms in him and stressing about things that I see (or don't see.)
Is this making any sense? Is this (somewhat) of a normal fear for the parent of a toddler to have?

Thanks for reading.

Re: Anyone else have an obsessive fear about their DC having a developmental disorder/autism?

It's not just you Michal. Sometimes I feel like with knowledge comes fear. When you know a lot about something, you can really start to worry more and more that it will happen, if that makes sense.
On the other hand, I also think that if it ends up that Chase has some sort of delay or developmental disorder, he'll still be the little boy that I love and he'll be the same little boy he always was, we'll just have to help him be the best he can be.
I would definitely mention anything you are concerned about to the ped. so that you can ease your concerns a little

Re: Anyone else have an obsessive fear about their DC having a developmental disorder/autism?

I completely understand what you mean! The more you know the worse it can be bc anything and everything you see or don't see, you worry about. I went through a period where I really believed that something was wrong with my DS. And even though the rational side of me knew that he was fine, that other side was convincing me that something was amiss. It was horrible. I'm a psychologist so I'm aware of a lot and I sometimes wish I'd stayed in finance bc then I'd probably worry much less.

Re: Anyone else have an obsessive fear about their DC having a developmental disorder/autism?

My niece and nephew have autism. I think about it every day, multiple times a day.

There is nothing I can do but pray!

Re: Anyone else have an obsessive fear about their DC having a developmental disorder/autism?

All the time! I agree with PP. The more you know the worse it is. I'm a speech pathologist and work with children with special needs and autism and I feel like I'm consistently evaluating DS!

Re: Anyone else have an obsessive fear about their DC having a developmental disorder/autism?

I think its normal.

Our third baby due in two weeks will be a boy- when we found out the gender one of my first thoughts was that, as a boy, he is at higher risk for autism- its just that I have a close friend who is going through this with her child- her child is beautiful and is getting help and will be just fine- but I see my friend's heartache and I wish I could take some of it away.

We all want our children to have the best fighting chance in this world- although we will love them just the same no matter what.

Re: Anyone else have an obsessive fear about their DC having a developmental disorder/autism?

You are not alone...I think about it daily & like others have said at times I question myself about DS but that is also bc he has a diagnosis of CACC (complete agenesis of the corpus colosum). To date (almost 22 months), he has shown no signs of it. But he has a "target" on his back from DH's family & even DH at times. People question his speech (he has 30+ words & is putting sentences together) but some simple words he can't grasp. When people question it, I start to question myself but I know deep down inside that he is ok.

My youngest boy was a preemie, so there are times I look at him NOT doing something & get worried but then I remind myself that he is behind due to his age.

With that said, DH's nephew was diagnosed last summer with autism. So everyday I look at him & wonder if we will deal with the same. No matter what, I have been tested with both my boys & I will love them no matter what & get them the asistance necessary to allow them to live their life to the fullest

Re: Anyone else have an obsessive fear about their DC having a developmental disorder/autism?

I don't worry about autism but I worry about ADHD. I totally agree with Rachel, it's like we know too much and are looking for everything.

I do worry though, about child #2 and the possibilities, since I am getting older, of him/her having disabilities.

Mommy fear is the worst. Hang in there

Re: Anyone else have an obsessive fear about their DC having a developmental disorder/autism?

At 17 mts, the symptoms would already be present for a developmental disorder.

If you find yourself looking for something, it is probably because you aren't seeing much!

As an autism professional, I spent my entire pregnancy entertaining the what ifs. So I get it. But, really, within 2 weeks of Cailen's birth, I knew just by looking at him that he was a neurotypical child.

ETA: Cailen didn't string 2 words until he was 20 mts old. Then he didn't shut up!

Message edited 6/23/2011 9:48:21 PM.

Re: Anyone else have an obsessive fear about their DC having a developmental disorder/autism?

You are not alone. I have the same fears and always seem to be looking for something. Like pp's have said, its hard when you know alot about something like this.Ignorance is definitley bliss in situations like these.

Re: Anyone else have an obsessive fear about their DC having a developmental disorder/autism?

I think it is every parent's fear.

And I absolutely agree with a PP-with knowledge comes fear.

Re: Anyone else have an obsessive fear about their DC having a developmental disorder/autism?

It was really NEVER a fear of mine or something i ever thought about and then my son did have a developmental problem (first pdd-nos, then ADHD..still unsure of what is going on, nothing seems to really "fit").

All i can say......is that its useless to worry until something really happens. There is no sense in making yourself upset because chances are, your child is fine. And if they aren't, there is so much help and things one can do to help a child.

I was very nervous with my second son ...(what if its worse, what if i can't handle it?) but he is developing ahead of schedule..doing great. BOTH of them are. God bless EI and the things that are known now!!

Re: Anyone else have an obsessive fear about their DC having a developmental disorder/autism?

Thank you, ladies, for understanding and for helping me realize I'm not alone. As one of you said, Mommy Fear is the worst.

Re: Anyone else have an obsessive fear about their DC having a developmental disorder/autism?

I did, from the first time I noticed behaviors until well after he was diagnosed. In my case my gut was right.

Now that I have another ds I find that I'm kind of calm about it but will admit that I do look at development charts. He's 4 months.

Re: Anyone else have an obsessive fear about their DC having a developmental disorder/autism?

As a pediatric occupational therapist that works with a wide range of children with various developmental delays....I worry/evaluate DD a million times a day. I think it is not so much the fear of her being diagnosed with something but more so the fact that I want to "catch" it asap so I can get her all the services she deserves.

Re: Anyone else have an obsessive fear about their DC having a developmental disorder/autism?

With all you hear about it and see it I think it's normal to be worried about it to some extent. While I was pg and when my kids were just a few months old I worried about it. But, by 17 mos I didn't worry about it anymore with my DS and my DD is now 17 mos and I haven't worried about it for a long time either. I think at 17 mos you would have an idea that something was not right. If you feel at this age that you are seeing things that make you worried I would def. discuss them with your ped

Re: Anyone else have an obsessive fear about their DC having a developmental disorder/autism?

Posted by EndlessSummer719

You are not alone. I have the same fears and always seem to be looking for something. Like pp's have said, its hard when you know alot about something like this.Ignorance is definitley bliss in situations like these.

Re: Anyone else have an obsessive fear about their DC having a developmental disorder/autism?

during all my sonograms, i'd ask the doctor "are there 2 hemispheres in the brain? is there a corpus callosum? Is there a This, is there a That?"

thank you, neurological disorders class.

i was a nervous wreck then, and now that my little guy is 1, im still a nervous wreck about tons of things.

Message edited 6/24/2011 10:41:46 AM.

Re: Anyone else have an obsessive fear about their DC having a developmental disorder/autism?

DH is just like you.

I'm a bit less (i think because DH is soo crazy about it)

I think i've learned to just live with whatever comes at me. If it is, then I can't do anything about it. and the constant worry will just get me sick.
DS is a happy boy who loves to do many things other kids his age do. He seems to be hitting all his milestones (except clapping, he refuses to clap) so i'm not too worried.

take a deep breath and enjoy your time with him and don't worry if he's a bit slower to talk. sometimes they just have no need to talk!

Re: Anyone else have an obsessive fear about their DC having a developmental disorder/autism?

I worried a lot with my first. I don't worry nearly as much with my twins (12 months).

DD didn't speak much until she was two years old. She had maybe 30 words by her second birthday, and then it was like a light when off and she had a language explosion. Now she is 4 and never stops talking!

Re: Anyone else have an obsessive fear about their DC having a developmental disorder/autism?

Everyday, I thought it was just me. I am glad I am not the one that has these fears.

Re: Anyone else have an obsessive fear about their DC having a developmental disorder/autism?

i do the same. but then i remind myself that it wouldnt even matter ... i would love him the same regardless. it would just be another hurdle that we would all get through together - like everything else.

the biggest lesson that I have learned in life is to never worry without reason. even then, in most cases, there is nothing you can do but to get through it one way or another...

Re: Anyone else have an obsessive fear about their DC having a developmental disorder/autism?

Its only because you are a school counselor and have seen the worst. I went through the same thing with Jack and my doctor laughed at me. I was soooo worried about this. His speech was behind too. Even now I still struggle to understand him and he is two and half.
But honestly, I think deep down if he really had a problem you would know. This is just usual mommy worries.

Re: Anyone else have an obsessive fear about their DC having a developmental disorder/autism?

When my kids were younger, I did worry about it from time to time. They were late talkers and now at almost 3 they are not EVER quiet. One of my sons has some OCD behaviors and he never used to want to give kisses, but now he does so that made me feel a lot better. The OCD stuff has improved also. I think the reassurance comes with age..