need some advice/opinions..

as most of you know my baby came 7 weeks early, a day before my baby shower. now my mom and MIL want to reschedule the shower. most people still have their gifts (only a few mailed them).

i feel so weird about it although i think a lot of it is post partum hormones (which SUCK btw). i feel like having a party now is sort of like asking for gifts. i mean i suppose a shower in itself is asking for gifts, but i feel so weird about not being pregnant anymore at my shower. my baby is still in the NICU (and will likely still be there by the time they want to reschedule the shower for). i think they want to have it soon so that i still get whatever i need before comes home. i also just feel like now its more of an inconvenience for people to come since they want to reschedule it for very soon (6/12) and you know how it is with summer plans after memorial day...

anyway am i just being hormonal and crazy?? for some reason the whole idea of the baby shower right now just makes me sad. i find it so weird that i wont be pregnant at my shower.

at first i wanted to make it a coming home party for but in reality that will be too hard to coordinate on short notice since we have no idea when she is coming home. also im assuming since shes a preemie coming from NICU we wont be able to have her around a lot of people for a while anyway. also i would really like to have a lot of the stuff people bought before she comes home so that im all ready to go when she does.

i wont go on cause im sure this sounds stupid i just wanted to see what other people thought about this and if anyone had advice, or had been to a baby shower that happened under similar circumstances when the mom wasn't pregnant anymore.

TIA!

Re: need some advice/opinions..

I think you should think of it as a party for her arrival. The guest of honor will now be her, not you. She just won't be in attendance. I think it would be amazing to get together with your friends and family to celebrate your DD.

Re: need some advice/opinions..

I think it is perfectly fine to have your shower now, even though you already had the baby! Your situation was out of your control, and people will totally understand this...especially if they already have a gift for you...they will want you to have it for when DD comes home.

If you don't feel up for having a shower now, that is totally understandable & up to you...but I wouldn't not have one just b/c DD is already here!

You could even bring pics of her to pass around for everyone to Ooo and Aahh over!

HTH

Re: need some advice/opinions..

Posted by MrsECullen7319

I think it is perfectly fine to have your shower now, even though you already had the baby! Your situation was out of your control, and people will totally understand this...especially if they already have a gift for you...they will want you to have it for when DD comes home.

If you don't feel up for having a shower now, that is totally understandable & up to you...but I wouldn't not have one just b/c DD is already here!

You could even bring pics of her to pass around for everyone to Ooo and Aahh over!

HTH

Re: need some advice/opinions..

i think you should still have your shower. everyone understands the circumstances and they already have a gift for you/DD so of course they want to give it to you.

Re: need some advice/opinions..

Posted by LightUpOurLife

I think you should think of it as a party for her arrival. The guest of honor will now be her, not you. She just won't be in attendance. I think it would be amazing to get together with your friends and family to celebrate your DD.

Re: need some advice/opinions..

I think you should have the shower. Everyone will understand the situation.

Re: need some advice/opinions..

First, Congratulations!!!

Next, I think you should have your shower. I don't think that having the shower now is more like asking for gifts than having the shower 2 weeks ago. And honestly, in my mind a shower is to celebrate a little life and help the family prepare for the LO, so I think it would be really great for you to be able to have the shower before your comes home.

I wouldn't worry about the changed date - those who can make it will, those who can't will have to decline and hopefully mail their gifts!!

I agree with you that a coming home party would be a logistical nightmare - you don't know when she's coming home, and like you said, as a premie I'm sure you will be even more wary of having lots of people around her in the beginning.

HTH!!!

Re: need some advice/opinions..

Your family & friends want to give your baby a gift, if they didn't they wouldn't I think you should have the party

Re: need some advice/opinions..

i think you should def have your shower...even if you are not pregnant! altho you might feel like its asking for gifts" everyone already purchased them! they prob wanna give you a party after so they can give what they alreaday bought and give you the part you deserve!

dont stress just go with the flow!

Re: need some advice/opinions..

people who love you all probably WANT to give you the shower you never had! and having it now, with your baby safely in the world, will add a whole new dimension to the celebration of her life. dont beat yourself up over the circumstances, because the were completely out of your control. let this shower happen and try to enjoy it. you and your baby deserve a happy day, surrounded by people who love you.

Re: need some advice/opinions..

Posted by Ma-n-Pa2008

i think you should still have your shower. everyone understands the circumstances and they already have a gift for you/DD so of course they want to give it to you.

Re: need some advice/opinions..

I just went to a shower last month for one of my college roommates who had her baby at 32 weeks. It was not weird AT ALL. She had a nice photo album with pics of the baby (who was still in the NICU) and i thought that was a nice touch. She joked about being able to enjoy a couple of mimosas, too.

Re: need some advice/opinions..

have your shower!! The same thing happened with my sister in law back in January, she had the baby early, 3 days before her scheduled shower. We had the baby shower for a few weeks later. She was recovered from her c section but the baby was in nicu still. Everything was great, we did everything we would have done if the shower was held before the baby was born, and it was not weird at all. Mom and guests all had a great time!!

Re: need some advice/opinions..

awwww dont feel guilty or bad that you wont be pregnant for your shower; you couldnt help it! You still DESERVE a shower! If people can't make it, they will send you their gift..no big deal. It's nice to have it now, so then you can get everything set up for when your baby girl comes home.

Definitely have the shower and enjoy yourself mama!!! you deserve it. :)

Re: need some advice/opinions..

Posted by LightUpOurLife

I think you should think of it as a party for her arrival. The guest of honor will now be her, not you. She just won't be in attendance. I think it would be amazing to get together with your friends and family to celebrate your DD.

Re: need some advice/opinions..

you should def. have your shower still. Shes not home yet and it can be seen now as a celebration that she is here. Go for it!

Re: need some advice/opinions..

Congrats!!!

I agree with everyone else. You should definitely still have the shower and celebrate. This happened to my friend as well and everyone still had a great time.

Re: need some advice/opinions..

Definitely have your shower. Unfortuntaely this situation was out of your control and your family still wants to celebrate with you. Don't feel bad!

Re: need some advice/opinions..

My cousin had her shower and wasn't pregnant anymore. She felt guilty about not being at NICU with her daughter. But she ended up having a good time and got everything she needed. It was a much needed break for her. My son was in NICU for 10 days (5 weeks early) and I would have loved a chance to take a break. You literally live there

Re: need some advice/opinions..

Posted by Ma-n-Pa2008

i think you should still have your shower. everyone understands the circumstances and they already have a gift for you/DD so of course they want to give it to you.

Re: need some advice/opinions..

thanks everyone. i think im just being crazy hormonal about it. thanks for reminding me that im just crazy and i should still enjoy my shower

Message edited 5/23/2011 3:26:59 PM.

Re: need some advice/opinions..

First, congratulation on your baby You both have been through a lot over the past few days and I def. think you deserve a shower. You both deserve some spoiling As the PP said, ppl who love you will be there and want to share the special day with you. Not sure if this will make you feel better but showers back in the day were held after the baby was born. Enjoy your special day. You deserve it!!!

Re: need some advice/opinions..

Absolutely have your shower you deserve it and everyone should be able to experience having a shower whether there dc is here yet or not

Re: need some advice/opinions..

enjoy it! =)