Fears....am I a bad person

Please tell me that I am not the only one who fears the unknown. I am so excited to be pregnant. Please dont think I am a bad person for what I am going to say.

I worked in a school for 2 years with the sweetest children I have ever met. It was a school for children with Autism. I know I can not control whether or not my child will have autism but I fear that they will. The rates have gone up by 600% in the past few years. I think it's 1 in 143 now. This is something I have prayed to God about when asking for a baby. I would always say "a normal, healthy baby". I just feel like we have been through so much already just trying to get pregnant and we just need something to be easy for us and go the right way. I know there are so many more things other than autism, I am just using this as an example. So many things can go wrong. I think about all the negative things everyday.
Please tell me I am not alone.

Message edited 5/20/2011 12:54:31 PM.

Re: Fears....

You are not alone but you cannot let that fear consume you. Honestly, you cant do anything about it..so why worry? Hope and pray for the best! I do

Re: Fears....

ITA with the PP...it is totally normal to worry, but worrying won't really change anything. Just try to relax!

Re: Fears....

i worry too... i think it's totally normal.

Re: Fears....

I work in a special ed school too and see all different kinds of disabilities. I have had the same thoughts that you are having, even before I was pregnant. Like others said there is nothing we can do but hope for the best and that we can handle whatever we are given

Re: Fears....

Totally normal!!!!

Re: Fears....

I'm not a bad person for thinking this right?

Re: Fears....

You are not alone.

Im generally a pretty non nervous person, but I have ALWAYS been nervous about not being able to have babies,and convinced that i would not be able to concieve, even though there were no indications of that. Well DH and I were able to concieve rather quickly- now that that part is done, I cant help thinking that there will be some other problem down the road! I think about it often but try to get it out of my head bc as the other girls have said, cant predict anything, have to take it one day at a time, and keep faith.

Re: Fears....

You are totally normal-everyone wants a healthy child and everyone frets about the unknown.

No one wants their child to suffer or be held back in anyway. Autsim, Down Syndrome, all this other conditions and issues exist and you love your child no matter what, but it's just something you hope your child doesn't have to be challenged with

Re: Fears....am I a bad person

Re: Fears....am I a bad person

My niece and nephew have autism. That fear never goes away BUT for your own sake and for the sake of your baby you have to push it to the very back of your mind and just enjoy the pregnancy and enjoy every single moment of your baby!

Because no matter what, you can't really change the outcome but you can make life for your baby as wonderful as possible!

Re: Fears....am I a bad person

not at all.. i'm afraid as well.. but we can't constantly think about what could happen, because it never ends.. once you decide to a be parent, the worry never stops..

Re: Fears....am I a bad person

I have an autistic three year old and the thought never crossed my mind believe it or not ( he is a twin and my DD is fine and his older brother is fine). I work with autistic kids now and I am surprised I never thought of it. Now I won't have any more children because of the fear the next one will have it. I think SIDS scared me more than anything else during my pregnancies and then after they were born.

But I also fear my kids will choke on a piece of food, get hit by a car walking to the bus stop, etc. Fears are very normal. We all have them and you can't dwell on them. Just think positive.

Good luck with your pregnancy. You are going to love motherhood!

Message edited 5/20/2011 2:09:19 PM.

Re: Fears....am I a bad person

totally normal!

Re: Fears....am I a bad person

You are not a bad person. I work with autistic children as well and I think the fear is more at the forefront of our minds bc of this

Re: Fears....am I a bad person

I used to work as an OT with autistic kids and that is my biggest fear. I don't think it makes me a bad person. I think it's natural to fear things that will cause any hardship to your child in any way.

Re: Fears....am I a bad person

The fear never ends...you'll worry about illnesses and accidents when they start to drive. it's just part of being a mother


I know it's not autism, but DS#2 is getting services (they think he has ADHD, but don't diagnose this early). when we got his evaluation results, his IQ was listed as 79. We were first shocked, but then looked at him and said he is the same little guy and funny and cute and we love him so much...nothing changed except we got a piece of paper in the mail. (the psychologist explained b/c of his attention issues and discrepancies in some of the sub test scores, the score is really invalid)