For those on fence about tons of visitors in hospital...

What are you saying/doing to prep people? Any special tactics?

I'm refusing everyone but my mom the first day...and then slowly playing it by ear. Totally not doing what I did last time.

How about you?

Re: For those on fence about tons of visitors in hospital...

my mom said she'll handle my side.. they would all barge into l&d if they could while i'm a bloody mess..

for my SIL, we handled DH's side... we told them to visit the couple at home.. just to give them some time to get adjusted.. everyone understood.

Maybe you can ask someone to drop hints like that?

Re: For those on fence about tons of visitors in hospital...

I know already there will be a hoard of people waiting to see me and my baby when he/she is born. This will be the first grand child on both sides of the family.... heck this will be the first great grandchild on both sides as well!

Oh no I am already getting nervous and I am only 5w3d

Re: For those on fence about tons of visitors in hospital...

I was in the hospital for 4 days post csection and was completely overwhelmed. My advise is too verbalize that you need time to recover and the baby needs time to adjust.

Re: For those on fence about tons of visitors in hospital...

maybe i am naive but at the moment i am not too concerned about this as there are really only 4 family members (our parents) that are close enough to just show up...

Re: For those on fence about tons of visitors in hospital...

I am not on the fence to having visitors...when I had DD 5 years ago...I had about 20 people visiting during grandparents hours

But I have already spoken to each family, that I want to be able to hold the baby before anyone else does. I could not do with with my DD and it broke my heart that everyone else did before me

Re: For those on fence about tons of visitors in hospital...

Not concerned about it. Unfortunately, my family is all out of town. I know my parents and sister will come up, but not sure about anyone else. DH also doesn't have a ton of family here. His parents, BIL, SIL and BIL will come. Probably his aunt and some cousins, maybe his godparents. Now, all of our friends up here would come, but due to insurance switch I changed doctors, and ended up moving from Southampton hospital, where we live, to Stonybrook, so I can't see too many friends making that trek.

Re: For those on fence about tons of visitors in hospital...

For DD I told ppl I don't want them coming to the hospital flat out..I had family come thats it...I did not mince words at all..

Re: For those on fence about tons of visitors in hospital...

I had dd in the blizzard of 09 so needless to say I had our immediate family and that was really it. This time around I'm going in June. I don't care who visits honestly. I think it's because I didn't really have many the last time.

Re: For those on fence about tons of visitors in hospital...

Re: For those on fence about tons of visitors in hospital...

I didn't mind the visitors coming by but it did bother me when they sat there forever! I was bf and I was very uncomfortable with my FIL being in the room. At winthrop you can have who ever you want come in L&D after the baby is born to visit for a few minutes. Well I didn't realize how many people were in the waiting area, 15 people came storming back. My sister, grandma and cousin stayed up all night in the hospital for me and all of dh's family raced ahead to get to the baby first. I was so p i s s e d

I'm going to be very clear about what I want this time and I'm probably not going to be nice about it.

Re: For those on fence about tons of visitors in hospital...

Not sure. I want only grandparents and siblings the day I deliver. I know I will still have the catheter and I just don't need friends/extended family seeing me like that.

Day 2, I guess we will see how I am feeling. I'd prefer if people just waited until the babies and I get home. But then at the same time if they come when we are home they may never leave Plus, I don't want DS to get overloaded with a million people coming and going.

Re: For those on fence about tons of visitors in hospital...

Based on my experience last time I am just asking everyone except grandparents to not come on day 1.

I had one family come on day one and I remember being so tired and dopey that I just wanted them to leave. By day 2 I was feeling up for visitors so I am going by that this time.

I am also not having DS come to the hospital until day 2 as well.

Re: For those on fence about tons of visitors in hospital...

I will just tell people flat out to wait until i am home. I really only want family there-- it is a crazy and chaotic time as it is. People don't get offended, bc most people visit out of obligation anyway. You telling them not to come is a relief-- they would rather come to your house when you are settled.

Re: For those on fence about tons of visitors in hospital...

Posted by Marcie

I am not on the fence to having visitors...when I had DD 5 years ago...I had about 20 people visiting during grandparents hours

But I have already spoken to each family, that I want to be able to hold the baby before anyone else does. I could not do with with my DD and it broke my heart that everyone else did before me

Re: For those on fence about tons of visitors in hospital...

I'm more worried about people showing up to our apartment unannounced. So we told people our first day home from the hospital is OUR day. I'm not going to restrict hospital visitors since we're restricting them our first day home.

Re: For those on fence about tons of visitors in hospital...

Luckily for me, it seems St. Charles Hospital has pretty strict visiting hours and rules, so I am going to make sure all the family knows them (regardless of whether they are strictly enforced or not).

I don't want anyone right after I give birth, so Im hoping I dont give birth during visiting hours...lol!

Also, I'd rather not have a ton of extended family and friends in the hospital, but at the same time, if they come to the hospital than they don't have to come to the house. At least the hospital had set hours, if they come to my house after, they may never leave!

ETA to add that Im letting everyone know that I do not want them at the hospital waiting while I am in labor, DH will call once the baby is born, I think it is ridiculous to have a million ppl waiting, and I will make it very clear that I don't want to see them right away!

Message edited 3/23/2011 9:02:06 PM.