Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!

I usually say "He/She wants his/her mommy" and just take my kid back.

I had an uncle hold onto DS during his Christening when I wanted him to take pictures with his cake. My uncle told me no he wanted to hold him. I looked right at him and said, "When you push a human being out of your hoo ha, then you can tell me no." He handed him right over.

Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!

I have this problem with my SIL. My MIL has never held my son...so that's not an issue

When DS is full blown losing it, I get up and take him. It doesn't matter to me who is holding him. Does it make SIL angry? Yes. It's just not up for discussion with me. As for eating at the table, there are times when DS sits with DH and not me. I can deal with that.

As for your husband telling you to sit down and let your mom handle it - you have to do what works for your marriage. For me, I would ignore a comment like that and go get my crying son.

Dealing with ILs can be very frustrating. Also, my DS is older than you DD, and the older he gets, the more comfortable he gets with other people holding him. So hopefully, you won't have to deal with this forever!

Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!

I'm a b itch and I just take her back from my MIL. I don't care, it's my kid.

Not so much anymore, but when she was younger, I couldn't stand the way MIL would try to comfort her when I was around. I would just take her and put her on my shoulder. Seemed to work every time.

Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!

See I don't care whose feelings might get upset, the only person who matters to me is my DD and your MIL needs to realize its NOT ABOUT HER and get over it. So if your parents take her to the playground and your DD LOVES the swings you can't tell her? That's the most ridiculous thing I've EVER heard. And your DH needs to recognize that he's been ridiculous as well. Is he around to make his mother happy first or his DD & his wife?

I guess I'm in the minority here about the dinner thing, but IMO in this circumstance, I think MIL is doing that as a control thing and not to be helpful.

I would start asserting your mommy dominance now before you screw yourself later.

Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!

Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!

My DD is the same way. So when she starts the hysterics, i just go over to her in my MIL or FIL's arms and start talking to my DD and just grab her out of their arms and say to my DD that i know she's got a mommy complex and that's ok for now. she'll grow out of it.

I go for the non-confrontational way, since i get my point out to them. Without saying it to them directly. I'm passive agressive that way but it works and they don't get offended.

Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!

Honestly, I just take him.

Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!

Posted by Serendipity

Posted by MikesWife

Honestly, I would tell my DH to kiss it, walk over to my clearly upset child and console her.
There will come a time when going to Grandma will be awesome. For now, she is having separation issues. Why keep her upset?

ABSOLUTELY!!!! I am in complete agreement!! This happened last yr with my DD a lot and i HATEd it then finally got the nerve up to say to myself I am the mommy and I dont want her crying!!

We for instance would be somewhere, my DD would SCREAM hysterical AND THEY WOULD take her in another room and say mommy not here!!!

I was

Now I take her back! no questions, no explanations...I am the mother!

Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!

Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!

FTR, I HAVE very passively and timidly put my arms out to DD, and even if DD reaches out for me - she does not give her to me. She will pretend that she doesn't notice and try to distract her.

My MIL has a very strong personality. She raised two boys and two granddaughters and she is one tough Irish chick I really love her, we get along great as "friends" but when it comes to this, it is hard b/c I am a VERY passive person, hate confrontation AND I get very nervous and unsure of myself. Just two personalities that don't mesh well when babies are involved, I guess.

Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!

Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!

I'd say, "OK, she's had enough. Give her to me."

I have no problem with people thinking I'm possessive of my child. He's MY child! I'm also not very good at hiding my annoyance.

I'm sure my inlaws think I'm over protective of my DS. In fact, my FIL comes out and tells me so. I could list numerous instances.


As for your DH telling you to sit and that his mother would handle it, I'd say, "NO, I'll handle it. She's my daughter, I'll do it." Not only would I be dealing with the anxiety of watching my daughter cry, I'd be ****** if DH "told me what to do" like that in front of other people.

Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!

Posted by StayForever

I'd say, "OK, she's had enough. Give her to me."

I have no problem with people thinking I'm possessive of my child. He's MY child! I'm also not very good at hiding my annoyance.

I'm sure my inlaws think I'm over protective of my DS. In fact, my FIL comes out and tells me so. I could list numerous instances.


As for your DH telling you to sit and that his mother would handle it, I'd say, "NO, I'll handle it. She's my daughter, I'll do it." Not only would I be dealing with the anxiety of watching my daughter cry, I'd be ****** if DH "told me what to do" like that in front of other people.

Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!

Posted by Tilde

Posted by Serendipity

Posted by MikesWife

Honestly, I would tell my DH to kiss it, walk over to my clearly upset child and console her.
There will come a time when going to Grandma will be awesome. For now, she is having separation issues. Why keep her upset?

ABSOLUTELY!!!! I am in complete agreement!! This happened last yr with my DD a lot and i HATEd it then finally got the nerve up to say to myself I am the mommy and I dont want her crying!!

We for instance would be somewhere, my DD would SCREAM hysterical AND THEY WOULD take her in another room and say mommy not here!!!

I was

Now I take her back! no questions, no explanations...I am the mother!

Ahh yes this was attempted to, I wasnt allowed in the room b/c I would ruin everything and she would cry. . .

I know what I have to do, hopefully I grow the b@lls to do it!!!!

Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!

you just TAKE HER.

baby security trumps old lady feelings.

Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!

Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!

ok, now that I've read through the whole thread.

this is your dh's guilt/anxiety again over the close relationship AM has with your mom.

sorry bud. you are getting FREE DAY CARE.

you cannot force AM to feel as comfortable and secure with his mom as she does with yours.

Matlilde...grow those balls girl. grow them big. get thee a case of elephantitis. BIG BIG BALLS!!!!!!~

Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!

Don't want to give out too much details....BUT I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOUR GOING THROUGH!!

Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!

Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!

ugh. DD prefers me and that's IT - so I know how you feel. Luckily, most people including MIL respect that. They will try to hold her, but if it's not going well, they give her back to me.

As far as sitting between MIL and DH - if nothing else were going on, I would not think that is a big deal. BUT, it sounds like there are some issues with MIL..... like not telling them things that you do with DD so they won't be upset.

Obviously I know very little about your situation, but it sounds a little like the way my mother is with her grandchildren.... I HATE the way she is - it is like she is entitled, she HAS to be their favorite, she HAS to do everythign special with them, etc. SO..... I can see where you are coming from.

I would just say try to be firm and put your foot down. Remind yourself that you are your DD's voice.... if she is unhappy, you have every right to make her feel better, and you should.

Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!

Posted by Tilde

I guess it is harder b/c if I get up to get her - DH will tell me to sit down and let his mother take care of it

Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!

Posted by Tilde
the ONLY reason I listened is b/c I was in such shock that he told me what to do like that - my mouth just opened and I sat back down and gave him the nastiest look - i didnt even know what to say!

I keep wishing I had said something then, but I was too crazed to

Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!

I have this problem more with my mom, my MIL has been through this twice with my BIL. And he's an *** and will just say "baby doesn't want you, give him to me!"

My mother though, is a first time grandmother, acts as if she's the mommy all the time. It drives me nuts. I'm actually blew up a few times and said "I'm the mommy!" Sometimes our conversations sound like I'm the adopted mother and she's trying to steal my baby. I honestly have no idea, I just give up.

Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!

hmmm....my 12 month old does not like my parents, or anyone really, at all.

last week we were in fl with my parents. they are spoiled by how easy josh took to them.

if i was out of sight, she seemed to tolerate them better.
is it possible to give your dh and baby a 30 minute headstart to mil's before you get there?

i really felt for my parents...they talk about these kids, live for them...and can't handle her not liking them.

Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!

Tilde we have the same personality & our mil's have the same personality. I end up hating myself after these situations if I have realized that I didn't handle it correctly.

After reading everyone's advice to my thread this week about IL's cursing in front of DS, I told myself that I have to become a stronger more assertive mother no matter who gets in the way.

I bet you were raised like I was. I was never taught to fight back or talk back especially to adults & unfortunately now it's a problem for us. Some mil's obviously dont care how they make us feel but we feel bad about hurting their feelings.

btw, my mil has also pulled the same crap when DS would scream & she would take her in another room and say mommy is not here.