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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
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How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!
MIL insists on holding DD even when she is in the middle of the no breathing, red face, snotty, real tears, hysterical cry.
I can't handle it any more. I feel like crying every time I think of going over there. It ruins EVERYTHING. No one else can have a conversation, all attention is on the baby, DH and I are fumbling around apologizing and making excuses.
If she would just HAND THE BABY TO ME, she would stop. Is it right? I don't care. She prefers me. I am sorry.
A few times I have done the "can I steal my baby tee hee heee heee" thing but I need to come up with something better BECAUSE when DH goes back to work FT, I am going to have to go there by myself weekly.
Also, does anyone think it is strange that DD is placed between my MIL and DH at the dinner table?
I swore I would never be the type to rush home for nap or bedtime, and DD is FINE if I am holding her, and she can cuddle and doze off - but she is just made to scream and cry and then *I* feel guilty b/c I don't step up for her!
My MIL is not used to this b/c her other granddaughters prefer HER over their own mother.
*Sorry if I have posted about this before, it is driving me nuts!
OH YEAH and now, DH does not want me to tell his parents aboutthings that my parents do with DD while I am at work!! I have to LIE, so they don't feel bad.
Ok sorry, had to get that out - what an awful night last night.
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Posted 3/18/11 8:26 AM  |
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maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
Name:
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Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!
we are going through this with jack. if i hand him to a male, he FREAKS 
i take him back immediately. no words exchanged, no questions asked. it is the age, a stage. no reason to make everyone suffer.
take her back tilde  its not going to last forever. 
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| Posted 3/18/11 8:30 AM |
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Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!
I have never given it any thought when my kids were little, I would walk over to WHO EVER and take the baby and say at the same time let me take them, they are tired and cranky. That's it end of discussion.
As far as her sitting between your MIL and DH durning dinner, I don't think that is a big deal. It is her father and grandmother.
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| Posted 3/18/11 8:32 AM |
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MrsSpring
I'm a lucky mama
Member since 1/10 7585 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!
i would say with my arms out-"awww shhh come to mommy" and take her from her.
also put her between you and mil.
nip it in the butt now or its not going to get easier.
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| Posted 3/18/11 8:33 AM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
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Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!
I guess it is harder b/c if I get up to get her - DH will tell me to sit down and let his mother take care of it 
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| Posted 3/18/11 8:35 AM |
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maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
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Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!
Posted by Tilde
I guess it is harder b/c if I get up to get her - DH will tell me to sit down and let his mother take care of it
ooohhhh noo no no no no  give him one good VERY stern look and that should end it.
you guys are her parents. you guys make ALL the decisions for her. no way tilde. you are not wrong here! stand up to both of them and nip it now before it snowballs into other arenas!
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| Posted 3/18/11 8:38 AM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
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Diana
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Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!
Posted by JerseyMamaOf2
I have never given it any thought when my kids were little, I would walk over to WHO EVER and take the baby and say at the same time let me take them, they are tired and cranky. That's it end of discussion.
As far as her sitting between your MIL and DH durning dinner, I don't think that is a big deal. It is her father and grandmother.
Same here. If they were upset I took them without having to say a word. My child, I can console them.
Let her sit wherever - that way you can enjoy your dinner
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| Posted 3/18/11 8:39 AM |
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ruby
you rang?
Member since 6/08 5573 total posts
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Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!
Posted by Tilde
I guess it is harder b/c if I get up to get her - DH will tell me to sit down and let his mother take care of it
Oh see THIS would get nipped in the bud ASAP!! When you got home the first time this happened, DH and I would have had a discussion about how he's not to say this to me, even if it's his own mother holding the baby.
I'm all for letting the grandmas dote, but if my DS were hysterical, I'd grab him out and just say, "sorry, I think he just wants mama". Matilde you have to slap the cuffs on her soon.
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| Posted 3/18/11 8:40 AM |
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boobanick
GO YANKEES!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 4/07 1223 total posts
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Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!
You and your DH need to be on the same page. It is your DD and you do what you want. I would speak to your DH and let him know how you feel with certain things. I would just go pick DD up and tooooo bad if someone gets offened. Like the previous poster said you have to nip it in the bud earlier rather than later bc it will just get worse!
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| Posted 3/18/11 8:41 AM |
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mamabear
LIF Adult
Member since 3/08 4539 total posts
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Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!
I make no excuses. If she is crying I say here let me have her with my arms outstretched. If they don't hand her over I take her out of their arms and say let me take her, I want her. I say it friendly but forceful. She is your daughter. The dinner thing is up to you. I always have one if not both girls next to me. If someone else wanted to take that responsibility once in awhile and did a good job feeding and entertaining her, id enjoy the chance to actually eat my dinner one night.
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| Posted 3/18/11 8:41 AM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
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Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!
Posted by ruby
Posted by Tilde
I guess it is harder b/c if I get up to get her - DH will tell me to sit down and let his mother take care of it
Oh see THIS would get nipped in the bud ASAP!! When you got home the first time this happened, DH and I would have had a discussion about how he's not to say this to me, even if it's his own mother holding the baby.
I'm all for letting the grandmas dote, but if my DS were hysterical, I'd grab him out and just say, "sorry, I think he just wants mama". Matilde you have to slap the cuffs on her soon.
LOL
he just feels so guilty that DD and my MIL don't have this super close relationship BUT we go there every single week, I dont know what else to do!
Blah, this is a recurring theme I know, I am annoying myself with it LOL
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| Posted 3/18/11 8:42 AM |
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MikesWife
Wanting...........
Member since 1/06 6887 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!
Honestly, I would tell my DH to kiss it, walk over to my clearly upset child and console her.
There will come a time when going to Grandma will be awesome. For now, she is having separation issues. Why keep her upset?
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| Posted 3/18/11 8:43 AM |
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Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!
Posted by Tilde
I guess it is harder b/c if I get up to get her - DH will tell me to sit down and let his mother take care of it
That is something that needs to be discussed then at home before you are in this situation again, if you truly feel your DH will say this.
Some babies prefer certain people and you can't change that. When your DD is ready to held by your MIL then you will know.
My niece will go to my MIL but cry if my SIL is around, but will go to her other grandmother with no issues with my SIL around or not.
Heck, my DD couldn't even look at my FIL in the eye until she was 2 and finally gave him a hug at 2.5. At 3.5 she can't be in the same room at DH's uncle.
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| Posted 3/18/11 8:44 AM |
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KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!
Don't say anything to MIL, just go and take her.
Might sound difficult, but it's really not that bad. I've had to do it and while I feel bad for MIL (or whoever is holding DS) I'd feel WORSE for DS if I don't go get him.
DH does the same thing... will go over and just take him.
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| Posted 3/18/11 8:44 AM |
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Fallbaby09
number 3...coming soon!
Member since 4/09 1811 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!
Posted by Tilde
I guess it is harder b/c if I get up to get her - DH will tell me to sit down and let his mother take care of it
yeah I think you should talk to DH about that. That puts you in an awkward position and that's not fair. I don't really get along with my MIL that great and if she is holding DS and I want him back (for whatever reason, crying or not), I just go right over and take him.
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| Posted 3/18/11 8:44 AM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
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Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!
i know the dinner table thing is stupid
its just on top of the other stuff that it bothered me, i am over it LOL
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| Posted 3/18/11 8:45 AM |
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mnmsoinlove
Mommy to 2 sweet girls!
Member since 3/09 8585 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!
I'm going through this with sil. She thinks that she can calm emily when she can't and all it does is make Emily scream more. Drives me insane. I told dh that I can't take it, I told him its his job to get Emily. I don't have a goof relationship with sil so I make dh do the dirty work. Dh knows when I'm upset I shoot him a look and he will get up and get dd. Maybe you can tell dh to get dd when she is upset, let him look like the bad guy.
Message edited 3/18/2011 8:46:53 AM.
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| Posted 3/18/11 8:45 AM |
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mamabear
LIF Adult
Member since 3/08 4539 total posts
Name:
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Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!
Posted by Tilde
I guess it is harder b/c if I get up to get her - DH will tell me to sit down and let his mother take care of it
No no no. You give him evil eyes for that one. That is not ok. If he doesn't back down with a stern look give him a piece of your mind in private. That is your child. Nobody could tell me to back away and let someone else take care of her
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| Posted 3/18/11 8:46 AM |
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Ian&EmmesMommy23
My family is complete!
Member since 11/08 12970 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!
at the beginning my SMIL used to do this...but then i realized she did know what she's doing and i let her.
BUT...if i ever see DS screaming and crying while someone is holding him (after i give them the opportunity to calm him down) i just take him. my child.
as far as your DH...you guys need to talk. his mother's feelings should not be more important than yours. im sorry if thats rude, but i have MIL issues and took awhile for DH to realize I'm more important. 
Message edited 3/18/2011 8:47:09 AM.
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| Posted 3/18/11 8:46 AM |
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KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!
Posted by Tilde
Posted by ruby
Posted by Tilde
I guess it is harder b/c if I get up to get her - DH will tell me to sit down and let his mother take care of it
Oh see THIS would get nipped in the bud ASAP!! When you got home the first time this happened, DH and I would have had a discussion about how he's not to say this to me, even if it's his own mother holding the baby.
I'm all for letting the grandmas dote, but if my DS were hysterical, I'd grab him out and just say, "sorry, I think he just wants mama". Matilde you have to slap the cuffs on her soon.
LOL
he just feels so guilty that DD and my MIL don't have this super close relationship BUT we go there every single week, I dont know what else to do!
Blah, this is a recurring theme I know, I am annoying myself with it LOL
She's not even 1 yet. He needs to give it time... AM will eventually warm up to her other grandma. But letting her scream while other grandma is holding her will not help AM warm up to her.
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| Posted 3/18/11 8:46 AM |
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Deeluvsvinny
DONE
Member since 10/08 4952 total posts
Name:
Whatever
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Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!
AM is a baby! Of course she prefers her MOM. You shouldn't feel bad at all about taking her when she's crying like that. I even take her from my mom..even though she knows what she's doing and DD adores her and sees her several times a week. She's MY baby and I want to comfort her!
Your Dh needs to get over his jealousy on behlf of his parents thing.
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| Posted 3/18/11 8:51 AM |
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piggy007
Mommy of 2!!
Member since 11/08 1742 total posts
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Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!
Posted by maymama
Posted by Tilde
I guess it is harder b/c if I get up to get her - DH will tell me to sit down and let his mother take care of it
ooohhhh noo no no no no give him one good VERY stern look and that should end it.
you guys are her parents. you guys make ALL the decisions for her. no way tilde. you are not wrong here! stand up to both of them and nip it now before it snowballs into other arenas!
I totally agree. I could never deal with that. When DD cries with anyone I immediatly go over, say she wants her mommy and take her back, end of story! No matter who it is, my mom, mil, anyone..
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| Posted 3/18/11 9:11 AM |
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MrsSpring
I'm a lucky mama
Member since 1/10 7585 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!
may i ask a question?
when you are with your mom and if she is holding AM and she starts crying -doyou let your mom "handle it"?
i would just pretend i didnt hear what he said.
i hate how my mil wants to hold dd the whole time so i have been just taking her from her. than dh will be like let my mom hold her and i do the i dont hear thing. she held her ennough and ill decide who gets her. to share a quick story. he feels like my parents see her almost every day(i work w my rents)
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| Posted 3/18/11 9:16 AM |
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Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!
When you see her crying like that, get up, hold your head up high, walk over with confidence and scoop her and console her.
It's not that you don't want MIL to hold her or bond with her, it's just that when your DD is crying and screaming and YOU WANT HER! You're heart is aching and the minute you hold YOUR BABY everything is better.
I know the feeling. Don't feel funny to want to hold your baby...ever!
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| Posted 3/18/11 9:21 AM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: How do you say: GIVE ME MY KID?!
Posted by MrsSpring
may i ask a question?
when you are with your mom and if she is holding AM and she starts crying -doyou let your mom "handle it"?
i would just pretend i didnt hear what he said.
i hate how my mil wants to hold dd the whole time so i have been just taking her from her. than dh will be like let my mom hold her and i do the i dont hear thing. she held her ennough and ill decide who gets her. to share a quick story. he feels like my parents see her almost every day(i work w my rents)
I swear on my life, I am not making this up to make a better story, or to make my mom look good.
If I am in the room, and DD starts crying - my mom says "Oh you want your mommy" and hands her to me, before I even get a chance to react.
I take her from everyone else, no problem. I just have this issue with my MIL, not b/c she is a bad person - she is an amazing grandmother - its just that she doesnt think to give the baby to me and DH is so sensitive about all of it.
Sometimes, my SIL will even ask for the baby and then hand her right over to me LOL I guess she understands of all people!
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| Posted 3/18/11 9:22 AM |
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