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MrsBumbleb
it's me
Member since 5/05 11234 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Do you have a certain expectation regarding birthday gifts your kids get?
I was talking to one of DS's friends moms who informed me she doesn't allow her sons to go to birthday parties because it gets too expensive since there are three of them. I found this a bit sad. How much do you spend on a b-day gift for a classmate/friend? Do parents have the mind set that well the party cost a certain amount per kid so I hope to make up that amount in gifts like a wedding or are they happy with whatever gift DC receives? I do know a few people who complained (although their DC were happy) that they spent $$$ on gifts and the other person had the nerve to only spend $ on their kid.) My general rule is $10-12 per gift (I know that's easier now that they are young). I'll overbuy around the holidays just for the good savings knowing I'll have some birthday party to go to.
This family does not appear to be financially strapped either. It just made me wonder what, if any, expectations there were.
Message edited 2/23/2011 7:29:29 AM.
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Posted 2/23/11 7:26 AM  |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19453 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Do you have a certain expectation regarding birthday gifts your kids get?
I hope that people generally spend what I have for their kid on my kid. Obviously, if they are having financial issues that goes completely out of the window. I generally spend about $20 on gifts and that is what we get in return. I would never think of making back what the party costs. For me the party is so the children have a good time not to make back the money spent on gifts. I agree it is sad to deny your children the ability to go to parties. I find that even if someone appears well off you really don't know the true story 100% of the time.
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| Posted 2/23/11 7:33 AM |
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ChrisDee
My Girls
Member since 11/06 9543 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Do you have a certain expectation regarding birthday gifts your kids get?
My older DD is 10, over the years, I would say friends usually spend between $20-$25. We keep in line with that with the exception of a few close friends of hers.
I truly think it is sad that they won't let him go. They could look for sales, stock up after the holidays and get nice gifts for less, if that is the issue.
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| Posted 2/23/11 8:19 AM |
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Sassyz75
Turning a new page
Member since 5/05 9731 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Do you have a certain expectation regarding birthday gifts your kids get?
I usually spend between $15 and 25 depending upon how well we know the child..Just a classmate we dont' see outside of school is typically on the lower end.
Someone we have playdates with or see outside of school/programs is more.
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| Posted 2/23/11 8:23 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you have a certain expectation regarding birthday gifts your kids get?
I usually spend $25-30. Maybe more if they're close friends.
I have NO expectations of birthday gifts my kids receive. I just hope there aren't a lot of pieces & there is an off switch.
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| Posted 2/23/11 9:47 AM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you have a certain expectation regarding birthday gifts your kids get?
I don't have any expectations, and even if they didn't bring a gift at all I wouldn't care. For me the point of the party is for my kid to have fun with their friends, so as long as everyone's happy I'm good.
Last year one of the mom's in DD's class complained to me and several other moms about how "cheap" some of the gifts her DD got from classmates were and told us she wishes she hadn't invited those kids, it was really disgusting.
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| Posted 2/23/11 9:58 AM |
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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you have a certain expectation regarding birthday gifts your kids get?
I know after a while the gifts do add up. I have never cared whether someone spends $5 or 50. I am of the thought you spend what you can afford. But having said that - it seems that the average of what I see people giving and what DD got was between $20-35. I have heard parents say x didn't RSVP or X brought a sibling and only gave a $9 gift. You can't please everyone all the time. You will always have someone who doesn't think someone else spent enough OR that they gave a certain type of toy that they didn't like etc.
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| Posted 2/23/11 10:21 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Do you have a certain expectation regarding birthday gifts your kids get?
Personally, I hate that ANYONE spends even a penny on birthday gifts for my girls. They want for absolutely nothing in this world, and they never play with everything they get - I see it as just a huge waste of $$. I toyed with the idea of asking for charity donations instead, but got a lot of flack about the idea.
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| Posted 2/23/11 10:25 AM |
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Waste06
Waste not, want not
Member since 6/06 7219 total posts
Name:
Lois Mom Mommy Mama Ma
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Re: Do you have a certain expectation regarding birthday gifts your kids get?
I could see how it adds up.
You have 3 kids. Each kid has 5 friends with birthday parties. $20 a gift. That's $300 spent on gifts for your kids' friends. Some parents wont even spend that much on their OWN children for their birthdays (in this case $100 per child). In many cases it's financial, and some cases it's based on principle.
It's sad that the kids can't participate in the fun without bringing a gift. Even when parents stress no gifts are necessary, please just come for fun, most people still feel obligated.
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| Posted 2/23/11 10:46 AM |
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computergirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you have a certain expectation regarding birthday gifts your kids get?
Posted by Bxgell2
I toyed with the idea of asking for charity donations instead, but got a lot of flack about the idea.
I would LOVE to do this for my DS's bday, but I feel I'd be criticized for "depriving" my son of the fun of getting gifts. Honestly, I totally agree with you-- it's so, so wasteful. I'm the kind of person who hates clutter and excess "stuff", and I feel my kids have everything they could possibly want anyway!
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| Posted 2/23/11 1:58 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you have a certain expectation regarding birthday gifts your kids get?
Posted by Bxgell2
Personally, I hate that ANYONE spends even a penny on birthday gifts for my girls. They want for absolutely nothing in this world, and they never play with everything they get - I see it as just a huge waste of $$. I toyed with the idea of asking for charity donations instead, but got a lot of flack about the idea.
We did the "your presence is the only gift we ask" or some wording along those lines. It was a bust. Those that didn't' give gifts AND FOLLOWED OUR WISHES felt awkward because there were plenty who didn't.
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| Posted 2/23/11 2:29 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Do you have a certain expectation regarding birthday gifts your kids get?
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by Bxgell2
Personally, I hate that ANYONE spends even a penny on birthday gifts for my girls. They want for absolutely nothing in this world, and they never play with everything they get - I see it as just a huge waste of $$. I toyed with the idea of asking for charity donations instead, but got a lot of flack about the idea.
We did the "your presence is the only gift we ask" or some wording along those lines. It was a bust. Those that didn't' give gifts AND FOLLOWED OUR WISHES felt awkward because there were plenty who didn't.
That's my fear - I wish there were a graceful way to ask that no one bring gifts, that wouldn't insult anyone or make anyone feel akward. It really is just a HUGE waste of $$ - particularly for Alex, who NEVER plays with toys... EVER.
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| Posted 2/23/11 2:54 PM |
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luvsun27
Check out my cool glasses
Member since 5/05 8135 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: Do you have a certain expectation regarding birthday gifts your kids get?
I personally have no expectation and agree with the others, if someone didn't bring a gift, I would be fine with that also. I usually spend between $15-$30 depending on the child, or what I picked out for the gift. I don't actually care if we are closer to the child we spend more, or if they are a classmate we spend less. I'm not a shopper in advance, so I don't stock up on sale things, so I go out specifically to buy a gift for the party.
It's funny, because for the holidays, I bought my nephew a melissa & doug food set from AC Moore when they were on sale for 40% off. So, a normally $30 toy, cost me less than $20. Nephew is 2. For his sister, I got a $50 giftcard (she's 14). I asked my sister what else to get for my nephew because I spent so much more on her DD than on DS, but she said don't get anything...I'm happy you got a good deal  But, I too felt "obligated" to spend more on my nephew. In the end...I didn't get him anything else, and he was pretty happy with his toy, but it is OUR mentality to spend more when our kids have plenty.
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| Posted 2/24/11 10:37 AM |
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ddunne2
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Doreen
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Re: Do you have a certain expectation regarding birthday gifts your kids get?
No expectations here, but I agree that all the toys are wasteful since my kids have way too much. I too hate clutter and my kids play with the same stuff day in day out.
So to solve the problem, my kids don't have birthday parties every year. The grandparents spoil them ridiculously anyway, not to mention my older two have Oct birthdays which is right before Christmas so everything becomes such a big blur as far as enjoying new toys.
Soooo....here's what we do:
They can have a party at age 6, 8, 10 and 13. And obviously family parties every year! Age 6 and 8 are at home, age 10 can be at a place (like pump it up or whatever) and age 13 can be a sleepover.
I feel by age 6 my kids have a few good firends either from school or the neigborhood and I'm not just inviting warm bodies who I don't know.
Then on non party years we also do special things with them, like a weekend at Great Wolf, etc.
So no birthday goes uncelebrated in an exciting way!
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| Posted 2/24/11 2:29 PM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Do you have a certain expectation regarding birthday gifts your kids get?
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by Bxgell2
Personally, I hate that ANYONE spends even a penny on birthday gifts for my girls. They want for absolutely nothing in this world, and they never play with everything they get - I see it as just a huge waste of $$. I toyed with the idea of asking for charity donations instead, but got a lot of flack about the idea.
We did the "your presence is the only gift we ask" or some wording along those lines. It was a bust. Those that didn't' give gifts AND FOLLOWED OUR WISHES felt awkward because there were plenty who didn't.
That's my fear - I wish there were a graceful way to ask that no one bring gifts, that wouldn't insult anyone or make anyone feel akward. It really is just a HUGE waste of $$ - particularly for Alex, who NEVER plays with toys... EVER.
My good friend just had her DD's first birthday party and asked for food donations for the local food pantry rather than gifts since her daughter also wants for nothing.
This way, everyone walked in with something in hand and felt they were giving something even though it wasn't going to her daughter. The donation was made in her daughter's name and they donated so much food that the local newspaper wrote an article on them
I loved that idea!
To answer the question: I have absolutely no expectations of gifts. I don't even care if people give my kids anything because they need nothing. I just hope that they have a good time! That's what's so important at this age anyway.
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| Posted 2/24/11 10:08 PM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: Do you have a certain expectation regarding birthday gifts your kids get?
I don't have an expectation for what they get - and I mean that sincerely.
Having said that I do spend $20-$25 per gift on bday parties. It's definitely hard dollar wise - but the bigger issue for me becomes time and we do wind up sending regrets to a number of events. Between family, at home friends and in school friends - play dates, sports, activities and other commitments - we kind of can't keep up reasonably.
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| Posted 2/26/11 7:54 AM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Do you have a certain expectation regarding birthday gifts your kids get?
DD will be 5 in May.
We spend $15-$20 depending on the kid. I ask for a theme from the parent. A Princess theme, transformers theme, that kind of stuff.
I don't have any expectation about gifts DD receives. If I feel something is not age-appropriate, I will return it or donate it. Its more about having her friends and family celebrate her BDay w/her. We focus on that and so does she.
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| Posted 2/26/11 11:49 AM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Do you have a certain expectation regarding birthday gifts your kids get?
Posted by Bxgell2
I toyed with the idea of asking for charity donations instead, but got a lot of flack about the idea.
This is exactly what I plan on doing for Bella's next party. She gets pretty much whatever she wants and is BEYOND spoiled by my family....my DH actually dreads the party because of the influx of gifts in our overstuffed house.
I plan to ask for an unwrapped toy or something similar so we can donate to the local children's hospital. I find if I involve Bella in the act of charity, she actually loves it more than getting a gift.
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| Posted 2/27/11 8:29 PM |
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JRG71
*****************
Member since 5/05 5025 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you have a certain expectation regarding birthday gifts your kids get?
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by Bxgell2
Personally, I hate that ANYONE spends even a penny on birthday gifts for my girls. They want for absolutely nothing in this world, and they never play with everything they get - I see it as just a huge waste of $$. I toyed with the idea of asking for charity donations instead, but got a lot of flack about the idea.
We did the "your presence is the only gift we ask" or some wording along those lines. It was a bust. Those that didn't' give gifts AND FOLLOWED OUR WISHES felt awkward because there were plenty who didn't.
I did this once too, and I will never do it again. It made the people who listened and didn't bring anything, feel bad, and those that did, uncomfortable.
I generally spend $15 - $20 on classmates.
I have no expectation on what someone brings, and so my children don't. They are just as happy with a book and playing cards from the dollar bin at Traget as they are with an expensive toy from the Disney store.
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| Posted 2/28/11 10:01 AM |
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