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katiebug
I'll love you for always
Member since 2/08 4624 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Well, that's the thing. Both families are tiny. On DH's side (and they're all very close) it's his parents, him, sister, her DH & 2 kids, and BIL and his future wife.
There will be only 40 guests total at the wedding and I honestly think, if FSIL's sisters had children already, they would be coming.
Maybe if you just go to the cocktail hour, and see how well behaved the kids are, they will just tell you to stay. I will say, I allowed all the kids to say hi during the cocktail hour, and have some strawberries. Then they went up stairs to the babysitter.
I allowed my nieces to come down after dinner was served for dessert. That way people were too tipsy to give me grief for letting some kids come and not theirs.
I am thinking that the FSIL may think that she will be sharing the spotlight with your children. And maybe once she realizes that is not the case she won't care any more if they join at the reception.
Either way, I would take the trip! 
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Posted 8/5/10 12:06 PM  |
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katiebug
I'll love you for always
Member since 2/08 4624 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Posted by SweetCaroline
I guess I could maybe hire one of the babysitters to help me Friday and see if I'm comfortable with them for the wedding - this could be an option.
I think THIS is a great idea!
Message edited 8/5/2010 12:18:23 PM.
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| Posted 8/5/10 12:09 PM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
I would totally go!
If you have to miss part or all of the reception, then be it. You can still have a nice key west getaway.
Is the wedding at the hotel? Maybe you can have the hotel babysitter watch them after they go to sleep so you can go down for a few hrs.
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| Posted 8/5/10 12:12 PM |
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sleepie76
enjoying every minute
Member since 12/07 3881 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Go!
Don't let them talk you out of going.
You wanted to go. You'll figure out a way once you are there.
I think bring your 16 year old cousin is a great idea! She'll have a great time & it's only 2 days of school.
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| Posted 8/5/10 12:12 PM |
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JandJ1224
Member since 6/06 5911 total posts
Name:
Jannette
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
I would go and bring my children to the reception 
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| Posted 8/5/10 12:15 PM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Posted by Bridex100
I would totally go!
If you have to miss part or all of the reception, then be it. You can still have a nice key west getaway.
Is the wedding at the hotel? Maybe you can have the hotel babysitter watch them after they go to sleep so you can go down for a few hrs.
No, we'll stay at a nearby hotel. The wedding is at a  place. Even the bride & groom aren't bunking there. 
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| Posted 8/5/10 12:17 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
I am so shocked at the number of people who feel missing DH's BROTHER's wedding is an option -
Yes, you have children, Yes, they take priority - but really ??? I would never even consider skipping my own BIL's Wedding reception !! and I'd be livid if my DH even suggested it !!
I think you should go, of course it's a complete inconvenience, but this is your husband's brother - it's not some random distant cousin or friend for 100 years ago KWIM?
Also, I can understand BIL and FSIL's point re: not wanting your ILs to be chasing the kids around -
I'm sure he doesn't think you'd expect them to do it - but, if your ILs are anything like my parents, they'd just do it - and not like it's a burden to be occupying their Grandchildren, but I DO see his point re: wanting them to be able to just simply enjoy the Wedding and be there for HIM - not his neices and nephews - KWIM?
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| Posted 8/5/10 12:19 PM |
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CaMacho
Sisters :)
Member since 7/06 15112 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Posted by Ophelia
I just don't get it.
I can see not wanting random kids that you don't know there. but your nieces/nephews!!
I don't get this either! Who cares what other people think. They'd rather have you and the kids not come AT ALL then have them at the wedding for a few hours?
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| Posted 8/5/10 12:20 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Posted by JandJ1224
I would go and bring my children to the reception
Sure, if you want to start a family war !!
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| Posted 8/5/10 12:20 PM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by JandJ1224
I would go and bring my children to the reception
Sure, if you want to start a family war !!
His brother said they would make an exception for our children (and my SIL's kids).
If my kids weren't behaved or a problem, I'd pick them up and go back to the hotel.
They're more likely to monsters during church - and they're invited to that
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| Posted 8/5/10 12:24 PM |
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Merf99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3380 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
I'm in the camp of not understanding how people don't want their nieces and nephews at their wedding, but that's not the point.
I would go and bring the kids to the cocktail hour (if they are allowed) and then miss the reception. Or like someone suggested, if you could haev the babysitter come to the place where the wedding is held and have them be watched there.
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| Posted 8/5/10 12:24 PM |
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BethanyLynn
Love these munchkins
Member since 10/09 6295 total posts
Name:
Bethany
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Posted by SweetCaroline
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by JandJ1224
I would go and bring my children to the reception
Sure, if you want to start a family war !!
His brother said they would make an exception for our children (and my SIL's kids).
If my kids weren't behaved or a problem, I'd pick them up and go back to the hotel.
They're more likely to monsters during church - and they're invited to that
I'd let them make the exception. You are family for gods sake! You are traveling to their wedding and you are not ok with hotel babysitters. They SHOULD make an exception!
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| Posted 8/5/10 12:25 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Posted by SweetCaroline
Can I add this, the hotel gave my future SIL a list of names and TF numbers of babysitters. One of them - CINDERELLA?? It's not Orlando - is she some porn star?? W T FFF??- that helped solidified our decision that we're not doing the babysitter.
Honestly, I don't think that's very fair of you. Just because she has an odd name, you've already pinpointed her as a porn star?
I think the suggestion of having one of the babysitter come with you on Friday to take the kids to the beach/pool may be a good way for you to get to know her, as well as give yu a hand while DH is on the fishing trip. Then you can decide your comfort level of leaving her with the kids for a few hours.
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| Posted 8/5/10 12:28 PM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Posted by SweetCaroline
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by JandJ1224
I would go and bring my children to the reception
Sure, if you want to start a family war !!
His brother said they would make an exception for our children (and my SIL's kids).
If my kids weren't behaved or a problem, I'd pick them up and go back to the hotel.
They're more likely to monsters during church - and they're invited to that
I feel like little kids often are disruptions at the ceremony, not the reception.
If you've been told the kids are not welcome at the reception, you should respect their wishes and not bring them. It's their day.
I don't think you should crash and bring the kids.
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| Posted 8/5/10 12:29 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Posted by BethanyLynn
Posted by SweetCaroline
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by JandJ1224
I would go and bring my children to the reception
Sure, if you want to start a family war !!
His brother said they would make an exception for our children (and my SIL's kids).
If my kids weren't behaved or a problem, I'd pick them up and go back to the hotel.
They're more likely to monsters during church - and they're invited to that
I'd let them make the exception. You are family for gods sake! You are traveling to their wedding and you are not ok with hotel babysitters. They SHOULD make an exception!
It doesn't matter how anyone else thinks the bride and groom SHOULD feel or what they SHOULD do -
it's THEIR wedding. Rude or not, weird or not - whatever ..........
I say as long as their 'making the exception' and are AWARE that you are brining the kids, then bring them - Regardless of whether they are  and reluctantly allowing it -
Personally, I agree that for a destination wedding, the normal 'get a babysitter for the night' rules can not apply !!
I would NEVER bring my kids somewhere that I knew they were not welcome. (not saying you would, but a few people seem to think it's an acceptable option)
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| Posted 8/5/10 12:34 PM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
The impression DH is getting from his brother, is that their biggest concerning with allowing our kids to come is that they are not inviting their handful of friend's kids. Personally, that bothers me. We are not college friends - we're family, and if I were the friend, I wouldn't think twice about my kids not being invited vs. the groom's nephews being there.
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| Posted 8/5/10 12:41 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Posted by SweetCaroline
The impression DH is getting from his brother, is that their biggest concerning with allowing our kids to come is that they are not inviting their handful of friend's kids. Personally, that bothers me. We are not college friends - we're family, and if I were the friend, I wouldn't think twice about my kids not being invited vs. the groom's nephews being there.
I agree 150%
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| Posted 8/5/10 12:41 PM |
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SuzyQ
Mama to 3!?!?!?
Member since 7/06 8069 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Posted by katiebug
Posted by SweetCaroline
I guess I could maybe hire one of the babysitters to help me Friday and see if I'm comfortable with them for the wedding - this could be an option.
I think THIS is a great idea!
I like this idea too. You may find you really like her. Do you know if the hotel has run background checks? I definitely think you should go and if you end up still feeling uncomfortable with the babysitter, then go to the cocktail hour and leave after that.
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| Posted 8/5/10 12:42 PM |
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Salason
♥
Member since 6/05 9878 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Posted by SweetCaroline
Can I add this, the hotel gave my future SIL a list of names and TF numbers of babysitters. One of them - CINDERELLA?? It's not Orlando - is she some porn star?? W T FFF??- that helped solidified our decision that we're not doing the babysitter.
I'd definitely go on the trip and enjoy it even if you just miss the reception. Between this and the wedding party thing, I think your BIL/FSIL are being incredibly self-centered and not considering the feelings and inconveniences of their IMMEDIATE family! (Sorry, I'm not a buyer of "it's THEIR day so treat everyone however you want" . My personal feeling is that attitude can destroy relationships long after the day is over but I digress...). As far as you missing DH's brothers wedding, well he's kind of made it difficult for you TO attend so I wouldnt worry about that but I would go on the trip and enjoy it. And I wouldnt think twice about bringing them to the reception if he said they can be an exception.
FTR, I also did not want kids at my wedding in general but BIL's 3 toddlers were clearly an exception to that especially as they were traveling from out of state.
Message edited 8/5/2010 1:14:45 PM.
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| Posted 8/5/10 1:13 PM |
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sleepie76
enjoying every minute
Member since 12/07 3881 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by SweetCaroline
The impression DH is getting from his brother, is that their biggest concerning with allowing our kids to come is that they are not inviting their handful of friend's kids. Personally, that bothers me. We are not college friends - we're family, and if I were the friend, I wouldn't think twice about my kids not being invited vs. the groom's nephews being there.
I agree 150%
I agree.
I had my nieces & nephews at my wedding. But that was it for kids.
All my family has small children, but noone asked or attempted to bring their children.
Nieces & Nephews fall under a different category.
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| Posted 8/5/10 1:18 PM |
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
We had an adult reception. That said, my NEPHEW was my ring bearer...I told my SIL that if she wanted him to come the reception, that she could, although we weren't having other children there....she promptly told me she had no intention of bringing him - she wanted to have a good time and not chase him!!
My cousins were supposed to be IN my wedding - they found out they were pregnant and due the month before, so they backed out of the wedding...they wanted to bring the newborn to the wedding...at first, DH and I were opposed bc they are the type that WANT all the attention on themselves....but when they decided they were going to skip the reception, we realized it was more important they share in the day with us than to worry over some self-imposed "rule" about no kids...They came, they brought the baby, they ended up leaving early anyway.
Then, we had very good friends travel from Tennessese, with their 4 year old. They were going to go to the church and not the reception. That wasn't acceptable for us, so I hired a local teen to babysit in the groom's room at the reception hall. Maybe this could be an option your DH could suggest to your BIL? Then they wouldn't have to worry if their friends wanted to bring their children...
Otherwise, I'd see if it was feasible to bring your niece with you (2 days of school isn't THAT bad - IMO), or I'd just take them up on their "exception"...
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| Posted 8/5/10 2:01 PM |
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