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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is anyone missing the mommy gene?
Posted by Shorty
yes, me.....
Until 7/30/09. Something just happened.
 thats it! I am supposed to just take your word for it?!  
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Posted 4/1/10 10:54 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Superkat
More a stranger than a friend
Member since 5/06 9730 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Is anyone missing the mommy gene?
You will see. It will change once the baby is born.
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| Posted 4/1/10 10:56 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Is anyone missing the mommy gene?
Oh my God I could have written this myself.
Everyone is like oh you won't WANT to go back to work after the baby comes.
Now let's just put the money aside for a second.
Even if my husband made enough to support us all, I can NEVER picture myself staying home all day with a baby.
I love my job, love my career, love getting up, getting dressed up all pretty and going to work.
Love the social aspect of it too.
I feel like a horrible person for it- but other times I think it will make me a BETTER mother in the long run.
Not to mention- like you- i enjoy time alone with the DH, vacations for adults only, sleep, etc.
I definitely am missing some mommy gene...
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| Posted 4/1/10 10:58 AM |
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Shorty
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Member since 5/05 30390 total posts
Name:
really
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Re: Is anyone missing the mommy gene?
yeahhhh.
i never even babysat when i was younger bc i disliked kids. never picked up or played with my little cousins. something just changes.
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| Posted 4/1/10 10:58 AM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is anyone missing the mommy gene?
I have to say that normally I hate the "you will see" type of response BUT I appreciate it in this case!
Thanks to all the mamas who answered and all the mamas to be who helped me feel not so alone!
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| Posted 4/1/10 11:02 AM |
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Linda1003
love my 2 boys
Member since 8/08 10923 total posts
Name:
Linda
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Re: Is anyone missing the mommy gene?
But remember.. it may NOT change....you may HATE the sleepless nights etc but it doesn't mean that you love your DC any less than the woman who can sit up all night and watch their baby sleep!! KWIM??? Just don't want these women to get upset if they find themselves HATING the newborn stage.. I did!! and I had such guilt about it until I realzied that It was fine b/c I still loved him more than anything in this world.
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| Posted 4/1/10 11:03 AM |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Is anyone missing the mommy gene?
ITA. My priorities completely changed once DS was born.
ETA: I did hate the newborn stage though.
Message edited 4/1/2010 11:34:21 AM.
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| Posted 4/1/10 11:33 AM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Is anyone missing the mommy gene?
Posted by NervousNell
Oh my God I could have written this myself.
Everyone is like oh you won't WANT to go back to work after the baby comes.
Now let's just put the money aside for a second.
Even if my husband made enough to support us all, I can NEVER picture myself staying home all day with a baby.
I love my job, love my career, love getting up, getting dressed up all pretty and going to work.
Love the social aspect of it too.
I feel like a horrible person for it- but other times I think it will make me a BETTER mother in the long run.
Not to mention- like you- i enjoy time alone with the DH, vacations for adults only, sleep, etc.
I definitely am missing some mommy gene...
You are not missing the mommy gene at all-there is a secret group of us that is growing. We enjoy working, feel it makes us a better parent because we work, some of us could be SAHMs but choose not to be.
We are great moms-we are just working moms
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| Posted 4/1/10 1:16 PM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Is anyone missing the mommy gene?
I don't know if there is anyone out there who actually enjoys the sleep deprivation of the first couple of months.
I certainly didn't. Did I get used to it? Yes. But I never liked it.
As for all the other things - it just changes once your DC is born. All those things you thought you would do or never do are totally out the window. You do whatever works for you and your family.
I said I would never ever take my baby into bed. But remember that sleep deprivation I mentioned? When that was the only way I could get a few hours of sleep, I gave in and did it.
Also swore I'd be going out with DH alone once a week. We've done that once since they were born 15 months ago.
Message edited 4/1/2010 1:41:07 PM.
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| Posted 4/1/10 1:39 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Is anyone missing the mommy gene?
Posted by CrankyPants
Posted by NervousNell
Oh my God I could have written this myself.
Everyone is like oh you won't WANT to go back to work after the baby comes.
Now let's just put the money aside for a second.
Even if my husband made enough to support us all, I can NEVER picture myself staying home all day with a baby.
I love my job, love my career, love getting up, getting dressed up all pretty and going to work.
Love the social aspect of it too.
I feel like a horrible person for it- but other times I think it will make me a BETTER mother in the long run.
Not to mention- like you- i enjoy time alone with the DH, vacations for adults only, sleep, etc.
I definitely am missing some mommy gene...
You are not missing the mommy gene at all-there is a secret group of us that is growing. We enjoy working, feel it makes us a better parent because we work, some of us could be SAHMs but choose not to be.
We are great moms-we are just working moms
It's a secret society - We'll initiate you after the baby is born !!!  
However, there are rules:
Leaving the house w/ spit up all over your clothes is not endearing, and you will change before going to work, or buy stock in clorox wipes ........
Mommy Jeans are STRICTLY forbidden....
We will not call CPS on you if you leave your child with Grandma on Saturday night and drink too much wine ..........
No one will chastize you for groaning at 2AM when you have to get your tush out of bed to feed the baby.........
Changing diapers is NOT on the top of the 'fun things to dol list ......you do it w/ a smile b/c you have to, but you don't have to enjoy it.........
You are permitted to admit frustration, exhaustion, anxiety, etc etc w/o being made to feel as if you're a horrible mother who can't get her sh*t together ........
You are permitted to CHOOSE to go to work, even if you 'can afford to stay at home' .........
You are required to realize that you are a fabulous Mother - with no need to compare yourself to any 'other' Mother -
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| Posted 4/1/10 1:43 PM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Is anyone missing the mommy gene?
Posted by Tilde
I have to say that normally I hate the "you will see" type of response BUT I appreciate it in this case!
Thanks to all the mamas who answered and all the mamas to be who helped me feel not so alone!
I'm not going to say "you'll see" because frankly, you may NOT see.
I do not feel bad leaving my child to go on vacation, I NEED that time to regroup, spend time with DH and be GINA for a few and not have MOMMY as my title for some time.
I HATED getting up in the middle of the night for feedings, DH and I would have some of our worst fights arguing over whose turn it was.
This does not in any way shape or form mean I am "missing" any type of Mommy Gene.....it means O am a person with a life that is defined as being more than Gavin's Mommy, as another poster said.
I do not feel one iota of guilt that I go to work 5 long days a week, or that Gavin's grandparents get him some overnights so DH and I can go out once in a while.
This DOES NOT mean that my son isn't my entire world, the reason why I get out of bed everyday and look forward to seeing his smiling face saying "good morning Mama", or that I do not miss him with an ache in my heart when I am away from him, even just to go to work.
For instance, I had to work late last night and tonight and won't get to see him until the morning....that CRUSHES me.
But I am so much of a better mother because of the way I mother my son, and that is what "you will see" when your child is born.
Don't worry about doing what everyone else is doing and feeling what they are feeling. You just worry about being the best mother to that baby that you can be, no matter what anyone says. And make sure you life your life as well........
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| Posted 4/1/10 1:45 PM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is anyone missing the mommy gene?
Everything changes once your LO is here, trust me. I felt the same way. And while I still do not like getting up with DS at the crack of dawn and I groan about it all the time, it is different once they are here. You do it for them.
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| Posted 4/1/10 1:51 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is anyone missing the mommy gene?
Posted by curliegirl
Don't worry about doing what everyone else is doing and feeling what they are feeling. You just worry about being the best mother to that baby that you can be, no matter what anyone says. And make sure you life your life as well........
Thanks for this!
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| Posted 4/1/10 1:58 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Is anyone missing the mommy gene?
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by CrankyPants
Posted by NervousNell
Oh my God I could have written this myself.
Everyone is like oh you won't WANT to go back to work after the baby comes.
Now let's just put the money aside for a second.
Even if my husband made enough to support us all, I can NEVER picture myself staying home all day with a baby.
I love my job, love my career, love getting up, getting dressed up all pretty and going to work.
Love the social aspect of it too.
I feel like a horrible person for it- but other times I think it will make me a BETTER mother in the long run.
Not to mention- like you- i enjoy time alone with the DH, vacations for adults only, sleep, etc.
I definitely am missing some mommy gene...
You are not missing the mommy gene at all-there is a secret group of us that is growing. We enjoy working, feel it makes us a better parent because we work, some of us could be SAHMs but choose not to be.
We are great moms-we are just working moms
It's a secret society - We'll initiate you after the baby is born !!!
However, there are rules:
Leaving the house w/ spit up all over your clothes is not endearing, and you will change before going to work, or buy stock in clorox wipes ........
Mommy Jeans are STRICTLY forbidden....
We will not call CPS on you if you leave your child with Grandma on Saturday night and drink too much wine ..........
No one will chastize you for groaning at 2AM when you have to get your tush out of bed to feed the baby.........
Changing diapers is NOT on the top of the 'fun things to dol list ......you do it w/ a smile b/c you have to, but you don't have to enjoy it.........
You are permitted to admit frustration, exhaustion, anxiety, etc etc w/o being made to feel as if you're a horrible mother who can't get her sh*t together ........
You are permitted to CHOOSE to go to work, even if you 'can afford to stay at home' .........
You are required to realize that you are a fabulous Mother - with no need to compare yourself to any 'other' Mother -
Thanks to both of you for this!
I needed it!
I am so tired of people- even ones who dont' have children- telling me how everything will change once I have the baby and my plans to work will be out the window.
Why? And how do YOU know?
God it aggrevates me to NO END!!!
These posts were great!
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| Posted 4/1/10 2:04 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Is anyone missing the mommy gene?
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by CrankyPants
Posted by NervousNell
Oh my God I could have written this myself.
Everyone is like oh you won't WANT to go back to work after the baby comes.
Now let's just put the money aside for a second.
Even if my husband made enough to support us all, I can NEVER picture myself staying home all day with a baby.
I love my job, love my career, love getting up, getting dressed up all pretty and going to work.
Love the social aspect of it too.
I feel like a horrible person for it- but other times I think it will make me a BETTER mother in the long run.
Not to mention- like you- i enjoy time alone with the DH, vacations for adults only, sleep, etc.
I definitely am missing some mommy gene...
You are not missing the mommy gene at all-there is a secret group of us that is growing. We enjoy working, feel it makes us a better parent because we work, some of us could be SAHMs but choose not to be.
We are great moms-we are just working moms
It's a secret society - We'll initiate you after the baby is born !!!
However, there are rules:
Leaving the house w/ spit up all over your clothes is not endearing, and you will change before going to work, or buy stock in clorox wipes ........
Mommy Jeans are STRICTLY forbidden....
We will not call CPS on you if you leave your child with Grandma on Saturday night and drink too much wine ..........
No one will chastize you for groaning at 2AM when you have to get your tush out of bed to feed the baby.........
Changing diapers is NOT on the top of the 'fun things to dol list ......you do it w/ a smile b/c you have to, but you don't have to enjoy it.........
You are permitted to admit frustration, exhaustion, anxiety, etc etc w/o being made to feel as if you're a horrible mother who can't get her sh*t together ........
You are permitted to CHOOSE to go to work, even if you 'can afford to stay at home' .........
You are required to realize that you are a fabulous Mother - with no need to compare yourself to any 'other' Mother -
Thanks to both of you for this!
I needed it!
I am so tired of people- even ones who dont' have children- telling me how everything will change once I have the baby and my plans to work will be out the window.
Why? And how do YOU know?
God it aggrevates me to NO END!!!
These posts were great!
We will share the secret hand shake with you when you come over to the parenting board
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| Posted 4/1/10 2:08 PM |
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NYchic
Girl & boy
Member since 6/09 2357 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is anyone missing the mommy gene?
Posted by azoodie
The one thing I am adamant about is keeping (at least part of) my identity when this child is born. I absolutely refuse to be identified as DS's mom and nothing else.
I know this child is going to be my whole world and he already is in a lot of ways, but there are parts of my life that I plan on holding onto no matter what.
Ditto....DH and I still plan to have our date nights out and vacation without DC (thank god my parents are great babysitters).
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| Posted 4/1/10 3:22 PM |
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MamaB17
Back for baby #3
Member since 5/09 4065 total posts
Name:
N
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Re: Is anyone missing the mommy gene?
You so are not missing the mommy gene. I think it totally takes place once they put that baby on your chest after delivery. I feel the same as you do, but know once  is here I won't care if I ever sleep again.
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| Posted 4/1/10 5:30 PM |
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JennB
My princess <3
Member since 5/09 2473 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Is anyone missing the mommy gene?
the second you lay eyes on that baby it will magically come
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| Posted 4/1/10 5:44 PM |
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Arodisi
"My 3 Sons!"
Member since 3/06 3515 total posts
Name:
KT
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Re: Is anyone missing the mommy gene?
Posted by Linda1003
Sorry to crash. But from a new mom,,,my experience was this:
I was like you.. totally felt I was too selfish. Now I LOVE MY DS TO DEATH!!! HOWEVER.. I HATED the sleepless nights and every two hour feedings!!! I HATED the crying during their "witching hour" Which is really 3 hours long!!!! Hated hated hated it!! But it doesn't make me a bad mother and it doesn't mean that I don't love my son. you DON'T need to LOVE these things to LOVE your child!!! I couldn't wait for the newborn stage to end. DS is only 4 months but is SUCH a good boy now. BUT ....when he is cranky and crying and STILL say NEVER AGAIN!!!! You have enough MOMMY GUILT!!! Just be prepared that you may not "feel differently when you have your baby". Just a fact of life... some people dont' mind the sleepless night. and the loss of alone time and the crying...etc but I did and do!!! But.. I still love ds more than anything in this world.
ETA: NO COSLEEPING FOR US!! DS went in his crib at 10 weeks. even when he is sick!!
ITA with you. i had a very hard adjusting up until DS was around 4-6 months. then after that, the "selfless mommy" gene started showing up!
but even still - DH and I made sure to do things just the 2 of us. its important and i dont feel guilty about it!
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| Posted 4/1/10 6:08 PM |
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ddunne2
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Doreen
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Re: Is anyone missing the mommy gene?
I'm pregnant with my third child and still awaiting the mommy gene to kick in!
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| Posted 4/1/10 11:14 PM |
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Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!
Member since 5/05 12165 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is anyone missing the mommy gene?
Posted by ddunne2
I'm pregnant with my third child and still awaiting the mommy gene to kick in!
I have a very long response to this topic, but I'm on my BB in Bethlehem, PA right now.
Ddunne2 and I are soul sisters on this one though!
You too can be an awesome mom without that "gene." And not everyone has some magical, instantaneous transformation. Trust me. And if there's going to be some secret society...I'll be your leader!
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| Posted 4/2/10 7:27 AM |
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LoriH
There's no place like home
Member since 8/07 4110 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: Is anyone missing the mommy gene?
Absolutely everything changes when the baby is actually here. I was never the girl that always dreamed of having a baby. I didn't really play with dolls growing up and hated babysitting. I was a career oriented workaholic.
I'm still not that super overprotective mom who never leaves their kid with anyone. I don't LOVE waking up in the middle of the night, a sick child, the constant mess that is my house and all the other crazy new things that come along with being a mom.
However, I do LOVE being a mom. I don't mind waking up in the middle of the night when she is sick because I know she needs me. The constant mess means that she has fun during the day. Your priorities shift a bit, your thought process changes and your life is never exactly the same as it was. For me the change is positive and I am content. In her two years of life, my DD has taught me so much, we learn and grow together everyday.
Sorry that was long, I'm in a mushy mood today. Damn pregnancy hormones.
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| Posted 4/2/10 8:46 AM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Is anyone missing the mommy gene?
Posted by julz33
I felt the same way as you before Landon was born. Everything changes once they are here.
Its true, but the "me time" you do spend becomes all that more precious when you get it.
I still work, I try to maintin some sort of social life, and I think I am a pretty good mom to my kids. You have to be good to you, too.
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| Posted 4/2/10 9:03 AM |
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ginapie08
LIF Infant
Member since 1/09 274 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Is anyone missing the mommy gene?
I felt that way as well...But I slowly feel myself changing and turning into a mother more each week. I honestly think things started to change for me when I began to feel DD moving in my belly. It just really hits you that there's a little human in there that relies on you completely for their protection and survival and happiness. And 95% of my thoughts and concerns are on her now. I've given up a lot with this pregnancy and went through a lot of discomfort but I don't feel sad about it. I never thought I'd ever feel this way.
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| Posted 4/2/10 12:26 PM |
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: Is anyone missing the mommy gene?
ITA with you... I like working, going out, shopping for myself...
I've gotten some remarks back when I tell pple I got some extra money so I'm gonna get some new shoes. I usually get... what about DS?
I get a lot for DS, but I enjoy looking good and having my own time.
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| Posted 4/5/10 3:38 PM |
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