TTC and DH

I was just wondering how all your DH's or SO's feel about the whole TTC process?

Do most of DH/SO's just have a "it'll happen when it happens attitude"?? Do they think your obsessing over TTC? Especially with the temping, charting, etc.

How about the disappointment every month with the BFN?

I'm just curious b/c last night I was talking to DH about how AF is now 3 days late but still BFN. I was telling him how scared I felt that things were going back to how AF was for me in the past (before going on the BCP, I would get the most erratic cycles - she would come every other week and then not show up for 2-3 months). His response to me was, "so just go back on the pill". Obviously, my response was, "well, if I go back on, I won't get pregnant". Then he said, "you won't get pregnant anyway if you keep stressing about getting pregnant anyway." We've gotten into a bunch of mini fights about this too. His mindset is more of just relax and let it happen - where as mine is more like this isn't as easy as he thinks its going to be. FORGET ABOUT if I started temping and charting - he may have me committed!! So I'm just curious to get eveyone else's perspective on how their DH/SO's feel about all of this.

As I'm proof reading this I know this is coming off sounding like DH is a heartless person - which really just cannot be further from the truth. He is loving, supportive and wonderful. He is an amazing person and I know that he wants children as much as I do. I think our just approach to it is just very different.

Re: TTC and DH

DH knows that ttc isn't a simple and relaxing and letting things happen, so he is totally on board and supportive of me temping and charting. He also fully understands the benefits of temping and charting. However, he is always BEGGING me to relax and think positively.

Re: TTC and DH

MY DH is exactly like yours. This is our 5th month TTC and I don't temp because he thinks I am going overboard and stressing way too much about it.

We have to remember this is out of our control. I think we all are use to making something happen or getting something when we want it. We just have to be patient.

I cried last month because i was 2 weeks late and got 3 BFN. I thought what if something is wrong with me.

I stop obsessing over it. I think the more you try, the more you start to have the attitude that it will happen when it happens.

Re: TTC and DH

my DH definitely wants a child as much as i do and he was so completely affected last year when we lost our baby but that said, our approaches are TOTALLY different. and sadly, this has caused quite a bit of arguing with us too. he basically wants me to stop obsessing. he keeps telling me that we both have to stop stressing and he wants me to not use my monitor. part of me thinks he is right and that we should just let nature rule here but the other part of me (the bigger part) wants to control as much of the process as i possibly can. the bottom line is, because our bodies are involved here and we are the ones to go through the cycles physically there's just no way our DH's can relate completely.

i was just thinking about this tonight so it's funny you posted it. i was driving home from work and thinking that our parents generation never did ANY of this stuff!!!! my mother is relatively young and she never even had an ultrasound when she was pregnant with me. she told me she tested positive for pregnancy and then basically had no other indications of pregnancy until i kicked her i'm SURE my mother didn't temp or chart or use any other "tricks" to TTC and....well....she got me!

Re: TTC and DH

as i started getting more and more into all the 'helpful' things you can do while ttc, like temping and opks, my DH thought i was nuts and getting obsessive. but as he started to learn more about ttc, he has gotten used to all of it. in fact, i find it kind of funny how nowadays he will randomly ask me something, like "did you get a positive opk?" or "is the line getting darker?" or "is your temp still high?"