Feeling guilty and nervous about coming out so soon

For my 1st PG, we didn't tell anyone but my mom till after my first trimester.

I was so excited this time around that I really wanted to share the news.

DH wants to wait till after the first trimester like last time.

But, I've already told a few people, and for some reason I'm feeling really nervous and guilty like I did something bad.

I'm not normally superstitious, but I also kinda feel weird when these people ask how far along and I say 5 weeks, and they stare at me like "don't people usually wait".

I also had a horrible dream that I had a mc last night

I don't know what it is but I feel like I feel like I made a mistake by being so open so soon and things are going to be bad bc of it and it's too late to take it back.

Sorry for the long ranting. just kinda feeling bummed today.

Re: Feeling guilty and nervous about coming out so soon

I wouldn't stress about it.

I think you should wait however long you are comfortbale with telling people. Some girls like to share right away and others like to wait till they know everything is safe and out if the first trimester.

I told my immediate family right away this time. Friends I will plan to tell around 9 -10 weeks.
When i first got a bfp over the summer & wanted to wait 10 wks to share with family & make sure everthing was ok. However, things did not go well and i had a m.c & ended up telling my whole family anyways b/c i needed their support. That is why this time I felt I wanted to share with my family immediately....so that way good or bad I will have them there. That is now my thoughts process when sharing.


I wouldn't worry about your dream. I think once we get our BFP we start to naturally worry and think of all the good and bad things that could possibly happen.

I think this is such great news and it is so hard to hold back from tellling your friends and family.! And that's ok.

Goodluck!! And please do not worry about your dream.

Re: Feeling guilty and nervous about coming out so soon

I told really early too. People thought I was nuts.

Telling or no telling- it's not going to effect what will happen.

I'm sure everything with be FINE!!

Re: Feeling guilty and nervous about coming out so soon

I too can relate to this. This is my first pregnancy and I wanted to wait to tell people. However, realistically waiting to tell EVERYONE is too hard because we know so little about the whole process and need some advice and direction.

We are planning on coming out to the whole family on Christmas, though I am nervous about this because my first dr appt is the 29th. Some of the family knows already.

I also told a few close friends… and work. I had to tell work early because I needed to take the day off for the appt and have no days left. I didn’t want to look bad and I just knew they would understand more if they knew the situation.

I feel guilty that people know before I went to the doctor and also before the 1st trimester has ended. But at the same time, It’s SOOO hard to keep it a secret!!

We have also received some rather strange and scary comments from people. BIL wife told DH that the dr was going to do some sort of test to see if anything is wrong and “if it’s worth going through with it”!!!!!!!!!!!!! REALLY? Not OK to say to someone on the phone, esp on their first pregnancy. That’s a scary thing to say. Those types of comments only add to that guilt.

But again… we shouldn’t focus on that. Instead we should focus on the positive.

I also think that your dream could have been due to the guilt that you are feeling and not a premonition to anything. I think you should keep positive about the whole thing and be happy about it. What’s done is done… and just roll with it. Be happy, be proud and don’t dwell on things you can’t control…. Especially if it means adding more stress on yourself.

Re: Feeling guilty and nervous about coming out so soon

honestly, i totally understand. This is my first preg. and i knew i was pregnant literally 3 days after we stopped being careful. I kept saying it but the hubs kept saying no way on the first try. So when i missed my period & took the prego test i was like see!!!! lol I was 4 weeks exactly & basically we told my parents his parents & everyone as a suprise extra gift at my parents 40th Anniversary party. We were only 6 weeks at that point, But thought it would be such a wonderful suprise. Was i nervous about telling so early, Yes, but u know what? Those are the people that love & will support you through anything. So dont feel guilty. Be happy & just be really careful. Im now hitting 3 months & so far all is wel. (knock wood 3x) Goo dluck & think postive thoughts only!!

Re: Feeling guilty and nervous about coming out so soon

aww you are super excited and it a hard thing to not tell people...think positively and everything will be fine

Re: Feeling guilty and nervous about coming out so soon

Oh sweetheart - do not feel guilty. You were SO EXCITED... that's normal! Who wouldn't want to share such joyous news? And I think it's normal to feel nervous no matter WHEN you come out. Shoot I was nervous till the moment I held Athan in my arms. My boss (of all people) told me something a few years back and I try to remember it - "Control what you can control." Something are, unfortunately, out of our hands and control so don't worry about it because you have no say in it either way. Enjoy each and every day of your pregnancy and do not worry about it or feel guilty about coming out so early. Many to you and your little one and some extra and because I love ya! xoxo

Re: Feeling guilty and nervous about coming out so soon

DH and I told everyone right away...our families knew within minutes/hours of us knowing. Friends and coworkers we waited until 8 weeks.

We are not very supersticious and didn't believe that something bad would happen because we spilled the beans too early. I also felt like if anything WERE to happen, I would want the people close to me knowing so they could be there to help and support me.