Spinoff - the big lie we tell

I was thinking today about this whole santa thing.

I have been teaching miki that christmas is about more than santa bringing gifts....that it is about the day that baby jesus was born. She kind of looks at me like (we are just beginning to talk about God and jesus and mary, etc)

BUT, when the kids stop believing, how do you explain to them the "lies" you have been telling?

I do not know why I am thinking of this now as miki is not even 3 yet but just curious how you have or planned to handle this

I remember when my dear sister told me there was no Santa, I was crushed and If I remeber correctly, she got in trouble for spilling the beans

Re: Spinoff - the big lie we tell

It's weird, we don't really do the "Santa" thing either; but we're not very religious either. So I'm in a quandry too....she'll just assume the gifts are from us I think this year, she doesn't even know anything about Santa besides what he looks like. I'm not anti-Santa or anything but we just don't ever talk about him bringing gifts, etc.

I know I'm no help, but I'm stumped myself too

ETA: Maybe by the time Miki finds out the truth about Santa, you can tell her you were just letting her believe in the "fantasy" of Santa and the Christmas spirit in terms of Santa?

Message edited 12/7/2009 11:14:56 AM.

Re: Spinoff - the big lie we tell

Posted by nbc188

It's weird, we don't really do the "Santa" thing either; but we're not very religious either. So I'm in a quandry too....she'll just assume the gifts are from us I think this year, she doesn't even know anything about Santa besides what he looks like. I'm not anti-Santa or anything but we just don't ever talk about him bringing gifts, etc.

I know I'm no help, but I'm stumped myself too

Re: Spinoff - the big lie we tell

I am not going to be the one to tell them I am sure one of there friends will let them know
As for the lying part ..I actually never looked at it like that, even as a kid when I found out I wasn't mad at my mom ..I was just sad there was no santa!

Re: Spinoff - the big lie we tell

I'll prob just saw him "Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus" just like my parents did for me! Somehow, it made everything better (and I was furious at them for lying to me).

Re: Spinoff - the big lie we tell

I never thought of the Santa thing as a big lie, plus as a kid, when I found out I didn't think of it as lying.

Re: Spinoff - the big lie we tell

I don't think of it as a lie. I think of it more as letting them believe in something good, something magical. It fosters imagination and curiousity. I think it's delicious to see a child who believes!!!!!

Re: Spinoff - the big lie we tell

I'll just reiterate what I wrote on the other thread. It's not a lie. Santa might not be one real person, but the he is definitely the symbol of giving at this time of year, at least in my opinion and even at 6 when I found out there was no real Santa, I knew that it was my job to keep that spirit going for all the younger kids in my family. I think that when Ava finds out, we'll turn it into a positive by teaching her that she can share that same feeling she always got from Santa by giving to others herself. Even this year, we went shopping for Toys for Tots and I told her that some boys and girls don't have their own homes and so Santa can't find them, so we needed to buy toys for them. She was all about it. I think we'll just continue with her learning to spread the spirit of Santa and when she figures out there is no real Santa, we'll explain it that way, that he's the symbol of giving and so, in that case, he IS real, but we all have to carry out his work. Does that make sense?

Re: Spinoff - the big lie we tell

I don't see it as a lie...but this kid is already asking too many questions, so now I just say I have no idea, its just magic.

DH was cleaning the other night and found a red matchbox car in the manger. Josh yelled at him for taking it out since it was a b-day present for baby Jesus....so I guess something is sinking in.

Re: Spinoff - the big lie we tell

We told the kids that Christmas is Jesus' Birthday and the 3 kings brought him presents when he was born to show how much they loved him. So now we get/give presents to show how much we love people. Santa just helps the mommies and daddies by delivering the gifts around the world to all the kids.

Sure Santa is not real, but it's fun for the kids. It's just make believe.

Message edited 12/7/2009 11:50:00 AM.

Re: Spinoff - the big lie we tell

I started it, so I guess I have to post here, as well.

It's not lying: If you are into the religious aspect of it, St. Nicholas was a bishop in the early Church who was famous for giving money for dowries to girls so that they could make good marriages. This evolved into presents for children. There is definitely a religious aspect to Santa Claus.

The Spirit of Christmas is the important thing. Children should believe that there is magic in the world, and that there are things that maybe can't be explained. I feel like this is important, especially in an age where every answer is at your fingertips. There should be things that you don't 100% understand. Isn't that part of what religion is about, to some degree? The suspension of disbelief in certain areas?

It is a religious holiday, and that should be the #1 thing about it, and is for us. Volunteerism and giving are big with us, especially this time of year. Santa and religion are not mutually exclusive, in my book

Re: Spinoff - the big lie we tell

You could do what my mom did (though, i VERY rarely agree with her approaches towards parenting lol)- she remains in complete denial and still swears that Santa is real. I guess it's a good way to avoid the talk

Re: Spinoff - the big lie we tell

We have always had a "Happy Birthday Jesus" cake....We sing the song and everything. Little kids GET this and it is a great way to to acknowledge the real meaning of the holiday!

Re: Spinoff - the big lie we tell

It's not a lie. The spirit of Christmas is a pretty complicated thing and it's difficult to explain to a child. Santa is an easy concept to understand when your little.

Re: Spinoff - the big lie we tell

Posted by neenie

You could do what my mom did (though, i VERY rarely agree with her approaches towards parenting lol)- she remains in complete denial and still swears that Santa is real. I guess it's a good way to avoid the talk

Re: Spinoff - the big lie we tell

30 years later, and I still resent the fact that my mom went to such lengths to lie about Santa. We have the tree, and presents, but we don't go out of our way to say that Santa is real. However, he seems to believe in the concept anyway. We try to combine his beliefs with our lack of beliefs so that nobody is upset. He does realize that Mommy and Daddy get at least most of the presents. I'm not positive if he thinks Santa brings any of them....

We avoid going to stores near Christmas because I don't want DS to see the pure evil that somehow appears in people when they are in a store in December and HAVE to get a certain toy.... For some reason, Christmas brings out either the best in people, or the worst.....

Re: Spinoff - the big lie we tell

Posted by pinkandblue

Posted by neenie

You could do what my mom did (though, i VERY rarely agree with her approaches towards parenting lol)- she remains in complete denial and still swears that Santa is real. I guess it's a good way to avoid the talk

sounds good...lol

thanks everyone for the ideas

Re: Spinoff - the big lie we tell

Re: Spinoff - the big lie we tell

Re: Spinoff - the big lie we tell

Honestly, I never felt like I was lied to or betrayed by my parents. I kinda figured out when I was about 8 that something was up, but I didn't confront my parents until the next year. I don't remember being too upset by it. I saw it as something that was fun & magical to believe in as a kid & I was happy that my parents gave me the gift of all of those fun Santa Christmases. I'm hoping my kids will view it the same way (many) years from now when they find out.