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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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am I being crazy, or would this bother you?- school related UPDATED AT TOP
Today is Luca's 3rd bday so I signed up to do snacks today and let the teachers kow what i had in mind. Last night I made sugar cookies in pumpkin and ghost shapes- more then enough for each kids to get one of each (22 of each, only 15 kids in the class.) I went in this morning with the cookies, a big thing of white frosting for the ghosts, and a thing of orange frosting for the pumkins, as well as sprinkles to decorate. I also brought in enough plates and spoons for everything.
I had expected to stay and help and take pictures, or at least come back to the school just for snack/party time. The teachers told me they don't do that but I could tell them what I wanted done and leave them my camera. I was annoyed over that because I really don't see why I couldn't/shouldn't hae been there. But whatever, I went along with it.
I pick DS up from school and I look through the whopping 3 pictures they took. I see him with one pumpkin cookie with white frosting.  Then he tells me he didn't get a ghost cookie and he wants one. By now we're already on the drive home. from what he's telling me, the kids did one cookie each. Ok fine, they didn't want them to have too many sweets in the morning, not how I planned things, but fair enough.
What I'm annoyed about is, where is all of the extra stuff they didn't use? I think there were only about 10 kids there today. So that leaves an extra 34 cookies and they couldn't have used more then one thing of icing. And when I looked at the picture again i noticed the kids had their cookies on napkins. What about all of the plates I sent in? I feel like if they didn't use everything I sent in they should have packed it back in the bag and sent it home. I would have decorated some cookies with DS and we could have had then after lunch or dinner.
UPDATE- I spoke with a woman that I'm friendly with who is the assistant in the classroom across the hall (I teach her DD dance.) As it turns out, it is not at all a school policy for parents to not be allowed in the classroom- for bdays or any other reason. She said the teacher in her classroom encourages moms to spend some time and see what they do during class time. This is simply a rule they like in their classroom.
She told me "off the record" that if it were her kid, she would demand that they be switched. She informed me that 3 other children have already been switched out of DS's classroom. She said if I go to the director and threaten to pull DS out of school, they will most definitely switch him. i spend almost $4k for him to attend school 3 mornings a week. That's a lot of money and I don't think DS has been placed in the right room. I haven't been 100% happy since day one, but this may be the straw that broke the camel's back.
Message edited 10/26/2009 8:15:21 PM.
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Posted 10/26/09 11:55 AM  |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: am I being crazy, or would this bother you?- school related
nope not crazy
Id have been upset.
What did they do with all the stuff?
Maybe they thought it was enough for the teachers or other class rooms?
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| Posted 10/26/09 11:57 AM |
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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: am I being crazy, or would this bother you?- school related
OK, all JMO but:
yea, they should have given you the plates back but I wouldn't expect them to give back the cookies. I think thats odd.
why didn't you send the cookies in already decorated? I feel asking them to do all this was a lot plus take pictures, plus do inventory control of cookies.
Message edited 10/26/2009 12:04:50 PM.
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| Posted 10/26/09 12:02 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: am I being crazy, or would this bother you?- school related
Posted by Xelindrya
nope not crazy
Id have been upset.
What did they do with all the stuff?
Maybe they thought it was enough for the teachers or other class rooms?
There are way too many other classrooms for them to share them with. The only thing I can think of is if they gave them to the teachers or something. I just can't understand why they didn't let them decorate one of each and then send one cookie home for later. I spent all of this time baking last night and I could have done half the work and sent in half of the supplies. 
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| Posted 10/26/09 12:02 PM |
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eddiesmommy
best buds!
Member since 5/09 11524 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: am I being crazy, or would this bother you?- school related
Is it possible that they worked out of both things of icing so that they were sharing.....I bet she just thought you wouldnt want them back, thats all.
As for the pictures, I can imagine a room full of little kids and icing was keeping them busy and thats all they had time to do.
As for the one cookie each, wasnt that your intention from the get go???
I think they did they best they could, and just maybe didnt realize how important it was to you to use all the items you sent in or that you would want the unused items back. I think it was all an honest oversight.
Maybe next time you go, you can ask if they have any of the unused items back??
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| Posted 10/26/09 12:03 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
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Re: am I being crazy, or would this bother you?- school related
It wouldn't really bother me. At our school we can't stay for birthday celebrations. The only time we get to do something in the class is each mom gets to do a quick project with the class for a holiday if they want.
Plus this is a busy week, I'm doing the Halloween craft in one of my kid's classes and they've changed the day on me twice so far since it's such a hectic week.
Also, I know my kids have a habit of not speaking up in the class, but then on the way home they will act like they are miserable. I know mine would have eaten the one cookie, not asked for the other or even declined it if offered and then sob about it the whole way home.
 I'm sorry you were disappointed.
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| Posted 10/26/09 12:04 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: am I being crazy, or would this bother you?- school related
Would it bother me that they wanted me to leave my camera? Oh you bet.
In the daycares that my kids have been in, we are allowed to stop by whenever we want - pictures are obviously dependent on whether a parent has signed a form for photographs.
But it sounds like rather than a snack, you planned an activity (frosting cookies) which is more involved. Unless you spoke the teachers beforehand, I think it was more than they bargained for during snack time.
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| Posted 10/26/09 12:07 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: am I being crazy, or would this bother you?- school related
Posted by kerrycec03
OK, all JMO but:
yea, they should have given you the plates back but I wouldn't expect them to give back the cookies. I think thats odd.
why didn't you send the cookies in already decorated? I feel asking them to do all this was a lot.
It wasn't for the teachers to do. It was a cookie craft project for the kids to do. I had already spoken to the teachers and asked if that was ok and they loved the idea. As for sending home the cookies, I would have rather they sent them home with the kids, but why would/should they throw out 30 something cookies?
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| Posted 10/26/09 12:09 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: am I being crazy, or would this bother you?- school related
Posted by nferrandi
Posted by kerrycec03
OK, all JMO but:
yea, they should have given you the plates back but I wouldn't expect them to give back the cookies. I think thats odd.
why didn't you send the cookies in already decorated? I feel asking them to do all this was a lot.
It wasn't for the teachers to do. It was a cookie craft project for the kids to do. I had already spoken to the teachers and asked if that was ok and they loved the idea. As for sending home the cookies, I would have rather they sent them home with the kids, but why would/should they throw out 30 something cookies?
I doubt they threw them out. I'm sure they passed them around in their snack room.
I'm sorry his birthday wasn't as you planned.
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| Posted 10/26/09 12:10 PM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: am I being crazy, or would this bother you?- school related
I would be very annoyed that there were only 3 pictures. It would have been nice to get the plates back, you paid for them!
it sounds like you told them in advance what you were planning. if it were too much for them they could have told you to frost them. I personally think you should have frosted them yourself because it could get messy for 3 year olds doing that.
i'm sure they gave the other teachers the cookies. but they should have given them to the kids to take home, or maybe for an after lunch snack. you didn't make the cookies for the teachers
Message edited 10/26/2009 12:14:19 PM.
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| Posted 10/26/09 12:11 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: am I being crazy, or would this bother you?- school related
Posted by nferrandi
Posted by kerrycec03
OK, all JMO but:
yea, they should have given you the plates back but I wouldn't expect them to give back the cookies. I think thats odd.
why didn't you send the cookies in already decorated? I feel asking them to do all this was a lot.
It wasn't for the teachers to do. It was a cookie craft project for the kids to do. I had already spoken to the teachers and asked if that was ok and they loved the idea. As for sending home the cookies, I would have rather they sent them home with the kids, but why would/should they throw out 30 something cookies?
Since you discussed it with them ahead of time, I would be annoyed that each kid didn't get 2 cookies. I'm with Barb - the teachers probably ate them.
As a former teacher, though, I will tell you that often times things don't go as planned, even when I was the one planning them. A classroom full of kids has a lot of variables and it doesn't really surprise me that they only got 3 photos. I also wouldn't have wanted to leave my camera. I would give them a disposable to use for the birthday party - they probably all know how to work it and I wouldn't be nervous about it getting broken.
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| Posted 10/26/09 12:22 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: am I being crazy, or would this bother you?- school related
Posted by maybesoon
I would be very annoyed that there were only 3 pictures. It would have been nice to get the plates back, you paid for them!
it sounds like you told them in advance what you were planning. if it were too much for them they could have told you to frost them. I personally think you should have frosted them yourself because it could get messy for 3 year olds doing that.
i'm sure they gave the other teachers the cookies. but they should have given them to the kids to take home, or maybe for an after lunch snack. you didn't make the cookies for the teachers
That's my feelings on it too. I did this for my DS and his classmates. The teachers were well aware of what I planned and if there was any issue at all with it, they should have let me know beforehand and I would have done something different.
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| Posted 10/26/09 12:22 PM |
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babyonthebrain
Brotherly Love!
Member since 1/08 6209 total posts
Name:
Rafaela
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Re: am I being crazy, or would this bother you?- school related
Goodness, that is so wrong I would so complain! What they did was not right!
I always welcome parents in my class for their kids birthdays and other activities!
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| Posted 10/26/09 1:30 PM |
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Sassyz75
Turning a new page
Member since 5/05 9731 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: am I being crazy, or would this bother you?- school related
I sort of think that's a lot for a school party.. I know with a bunch of 3 year olds- sometimes it's hard to keep them all on task- and I know my daughter probably would've had a hard time decorating a cookie (she probably would've taken the tub or icing and started eating it with her hands...  )
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| Posted 10/26/09 1:33 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: am I being crazy, or would this bother you?- school related
Posted by Sassyz75
I sort of think that's a lot for a school party.. I know with a bunch of 3 year olds- sometimes it's hard to keep them all on task- and I know my daughter probably would've had a hard time decorating a cookie (she probably would've taken the tub or icing and started eating it with her hands... )
Again, if they thought the task was too much for the kids, then they could have easily told me so when I told them my intentions two weeks ago. And the tub wasn't supposed to be put out for them. I sent in spoons and told them to put a scoop of white icing on one and a scoop of orange icing on the other. And if they needed any additional help, I would have gladly beeen there to help. But I think 2 teachers, one assistant and one volunteer should have been enough adult guidance for this project. It's not that difficult.
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| Posted 10/26/09 1:46 PM |
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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: am I being crazy, or would this bother you?- school related
Posted by nferrandi
Posted by Sassyz75
I sort of think that's a lot for a school party.. I know with a bunch of 3 year olds- sometimes it's hard to keep them all on task- and I know my daughter probably would've had a hard time decorating a cookie (she probably would've taken the tub or icing and started eating it with her hands... )
Again, if they thought the task was too much for the kids, then they could have easily told me so when I told them my intentions two weeks ago. And the tub wasn't supposed to be put out for them. I sent in spoons and told them to put a scoop of white icing on one and a scoop of orange icing on the other. And if they needed any additional help, I would have gladly beeen there to help. But I think 2 teachers, one assistant and one volunteer should have been enough adult guidance for this project. It's not that difficult.
Yea but things don't always go to plan. Yes, the teachers should have been more upfront, but that's a lot to ask of others even with those people. And honestly, if they ate the extra cookies, I wouldn't have cared. I know its tough because you did all this planning, but they are human and they are dealing with 3 year olds. In the future, I would never ask teachers to do so much for a school party.
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| Posted 10/26/09 1:54 PM |
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tran92
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/08 732 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: am I being crazy, or would this bother you?- school related
is it possible, they will end up decorating the other cookies tomorrow? maybe they just didn't have time for everyone to do 2 cookies today? you could always ask tomorow and see what they plan to do, they may take full use of the cookie but over a couple of days? just a thought.
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| Posted 10/26/09 2:24 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: am I being crazy, or would this bother you?- school related
Posted by tran92
is it possible, they will end up decorating the other cookies tomorrow? maybe they just didn't have time for everyone to do 2 cookies today? you could always ask tomorow and see what they plan to do, they may take full use of the cookie but over a couple of days? just a thought.
He only goes to school 3 mornings a week, so I would highly doubt they will save this for Wednesday.
I guess I am just in the minority here, I didn't think decorating cookies was such an in depth project for 3 year olds. Next time I'll know better.
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| Posted 10/26/09 2:26 PM |
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eddiesmommy
best buds!
Member since 5/09 11524 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: am I being crazy, or would this bother you?- school related
Posted by nferrandi
Posted by tran92
is it possible, they will end up decorating the other cookies tomorrow? maybe they just didn't have time for everyone to do 2 cookies today? you could always ask tomorow and see what they plan to do, they may take full use of the cookie but over a couple of days? just a thought.
He only goes to school 3 mornings a week, so I would highly doubt they will save this for Wednesday.
I guess I am just in the minority here, I didn't think decorating cookies was such an in depth project for 3 year olds. Next time I'll know better.
Its not necessarily, but you never know how that day in particular played out. Maybe they had a kid or two having a meltdown, maybe they were breaking up a spat between other kids, you know. Ive used to be a TA in a nursery school class and sometimes things just dont go as planned. Maybe they had the best intentions and thats why they didnt say anything when you mentioned it to them but it just didnt work out as planned?
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| Posted 10/26/09 2:29 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: am I being crazy, or would this bother you?- school related
Posted by nferrandi
He only goes to school 3 mornings a week, so I would highly doubt they will save this for Wednesday.
I guess I am just in the minority here, I didn't think decorating cookies was such an in depth project for 3 year olds. Next time I'll know better.
It's not as long as it was agreed upon beforehand & it was. If you showed up with a project & expected them to do it, then I'd see their point.
Given that you spoke to them beforehand & they didn't have a problem with it, they should have done it - along with following instructions 2 cookies per kid. I always gave more to include the child's teacher.
I also would be aggravated that I couldn't stay & take photos myself. I get that it's pre-school & therefore there is more learning to be done than daycare.
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| Posted 10/26/09 2:33 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: am I being crazy, or would this bother you?- school related
Posted by eddiesmommy
Its not necessarily, but you never know how that day in particular played out. Maybe they had a kid or two having a meltdown, maybe they were breaking up a spat between other kids, you know. Ive used to be a TA in a nursery school class and sometimes things just dont go as planned. Maybe they had the best intentions and thats why they didnt say anything when you mentioned it to them but it just didnt work out as planned?
It's totally plausible that something like that happened. And if that was the case, I just think they should have returned the tons of supplies I provided when they obviously weren't used.
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| Posted 10/26/09 2:34 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: am I being crazy, or would this bother you?- school related
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by nferrandi
He only goes to school 3 mornings a week, so I would highly doubt they will save this for Wednesday.
I guess I am just in the minority here, I didn't think decorating cookies was such an in depth project for 3 year olds. Next time I'll know better.
It's not as long as it was agreed upon beforehand & it was. If you showed up with a project & expected them to do it, then I'd see their point.
Given that you spoke to them beforehand & they didn't have a problem with it, they should have done it - along with following instructions 2 cookies per kid. I always gave more to include the child's teacher.
I also would be aggravated that I couldn't stay & take photos myself. I get that it's pre-school & therefore there is more learning to be done than daycare.
I'm so glad that soemone sees where I'm coming from. And there were probably an additional 15 cookies sent in above the alloted 2 per kid. I sent in enough for the teachers and in case some broke. As for the pictures, I didn't need to stay all day, I would have gladly just come in for the 20 minutes of snack time, helped with the cookies, taken some pictures, and went on my merry way.
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| Posted 10/26/09 2:37 PM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: am I being crazy, or would this bother you?- school related
I'd if I didn't get unused items back. I would never expect extra icing or sprinkles. The extra cookies should have been offered to you, and the extra plates/spoons returned.
As for the extra cookies, unless you specified 2 per child I would have only expected them to give each child one. My DD is in a nursery school class and I wouldn't want her eating any more than 1 cookie in an activity like that. I also wouldn't want her bringing an extra one home.
At our nursey school, parents aren't allowed in the classroom generally. I know that if I was there for a short period of time and then left, DD might have a meltdown. Maybe that's their reasoning as well?
As for taking pictures, I know that at the elementary school I work at, there is a strict picture taking policy to protect the kids, so perhaps thats why they wouldn't allow you in to take pictures?
I understand why you're annoyed though- just offering possible scenarios.
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| Posted 10/26/09 2:46 PM |
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PatsBrat
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 2326 total posts
Name:
Ms. Brat
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Re: am I being crazy, or would this bother you?- school related
As a mom I can totally see why yo are upset and annoyed on all points.
As a teacher and mom of a preschooler, let me give you this insight...
The reason why the extra cookies and supplies were not returned could possibly be because they are so used to offering things back to the parent and being told "Oh no, you keep them." This has happened to me so many times that I now do not send home extras unless I am told to do so. A classroom can always use paper goods, but most teachers (that I know) don't eat homemade treats so they probably went in the garbage. Wasteful? Yes very, but it happens all the time in my school.
As for not being invited to stay, schools do this for many reasons, but the biggest is that lots of parents can't stay due to work or small siblings and it causes tears if someone's mommy comes in and someone else's doesn't. Having a "No Parents" policy keeps things easy and fair.
As for why each kid only got 1 cookie and so forth, I can't answer that. An activity in a preschool class of 10 3 year olds can go south at any time for a million reasons!
I sympathize with you because I can understand why you are upset and angry. You definitely should have been told of the birthday policy when you spoke to the teacher weeks ago. Maybe next year find a school with more parental involvement?
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| Posted 10/26/09 3:43 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: am I being crazy, or would this bother you?- school related UPDATED AT TOP
Posted by PatsBrat
You definitely should have been told of the birthday policy when you spoke to the teacher weeks ago. Maybe next year find a school with more parental involvement?
I have since found out that this is NOT a school policy. Other classrooms encourage parental involvement, apparently just not my DS's classroom.
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| Posted 10/26/09 8:16 PM |
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