Re: First-time moms: What will you differently the next time around?

Re: First-time moms: What will you differently the next time around?

Re: First-time moms: What will you differently the next time around?

I don't know....the second baby might be different, so there's not much I can say I'll definitely do differently.

What I'd like to do is be stricter about naptime.....if I could get a kid to nap in the crib instead of in the car it would save a ton of gas!

But I don't think we made all that many mistakes with Lily. I think we have a balance of easy-going and strict. We let her develop at her own pace and she's pretty much done everything on her own....but we're still strict about bedtime, which helps her sleep well.
Or...she's just unusually easy and we're in for it if we ever have a second!

Re: First-time moms: What will you differently the next time around?

Things I DID differently with #2:

Used the 5ses(sp?)
let her fuss rather than running to her immediately at night (when she was old enough)
used the Healthy Sleep Habits schedule (loosely) to try to establish a nap pattern)
started solids a little later (my first had food allergies that I can't help but feel like may have been triggered by starting too soon)
went right to table food by 8-9 months old

Things I learned:
baby #2 may be NOTHING like #1. At times I truly felt like a brand new first time mom again.

Things I'll do differently if we are blessed with #3:
put them in the same room immediately
expect that things will be completely different from #s 1 and 2.

Re: First-time moms: What will you differently the next time around?

My DH says he's done but we'll see I would love to have a little girl(or a little boy )

1.Breastfeed straight from the tap-I ran myself ragged pumping around the clock, plus taking care of the boys.(assuming I have a singleton) I would also like to do it for a year

2. Try to sleep train them a bit more from a younger age. They are pretty good sleepers now but they could have started earlier.

I am actually pretty happy with what I've done so far. Of course there's room for improvement but they seem to be happy babies that are not too clingy or fussy.

Re: First-time moms: What will you differently the next time around?

Re: First-time moms: What will you differently the next time around?

Not let the baby get too used to falling asleep in my arms! Or in the swing!

Take help when offered.

Re: First-time moms: What will you differently the next time around?

this is funny, cause i did this when i was pregnant with #2

so my list WAS..

I would try and BF for at least 3 months..and NOT give up unless i had to for some reason..check (did it for 5)

I would NOT give a binky, or have them give her one in the hospital..check.. but gave that up after 2 weeks of constant screaming and nursing when she wasnt really hungry.

I would MAKE SURE she was on MY lifetime schedule, not ME on HERS..check.


SO now, making this list again for number 3

I will try to BF (for at least 6-8 months), although i will NOT let myself endur the same mental anguish if its just not working..

I will make sure these two lil ones are on a very similar sleep schedule, and i will ACTUALLY NAP when they do..best advice ever, and never took it.

I will try to make and freeze at least 2 weeks of dinner before i have number 3..i remember being so exhausted i couldnt cook, and felt so bad for dh.

I will STILL try and be supermom to my ds who will be 11, since hes the only kid in the house that will actually know if i screw up

I will read up on BFing, and decide whether or not putting this new dc in my room will help or hinder my cause..
I had Melania in her crib from day 1, and it made BFing difficult.

Re: First-time moms: What will you differently the next time around?

Actually, not much.

I would not stress out so much about STTN, some babies just don't til they are a little older, I stressed about it, but in retrospect, he DID sleep through the night eventually...

Re: First-time moms: What will you differently the next time around?

What a great thread!!

1) I would DEFINITELY try to avoid using the pacifier at all costs. DD is 6 1/2 months old and is VERY attached to it. I am not looking forward to the day that we decide to take it away

2) Try and cut out the swaddling earlier. She was swaddled up until she was four months old, and towards the end, it was such a headache for us.

3) Get into a better nap routine earlier. It wasn't until I really started looking for her sleepy cues (rubbing eyes, etc.) that I realized she needed to be put down at the FIRST sign of being tired.


BTW, I see a lot of you posted about wanting to keep better track of baby's "firsts". I too have a baby book that I haven't really had time to write in. However, I received a baby's first year calendar that is GREAT! When DD does something new (roll over, sit up, etc.), I take out the calendar, make a little note on the date and I'm done! I've been keeping track of her "firsts", new foods, well visit stats, etc., on here and it's so convenient. Now, when I am ready, and have time, to sit and fill out her baby book, everything is in the calendar ready for me to transfer. Just a suggestion

Re: First-time moms: What will you differently the next time around?

Definitely get the baby used to sleeping around noise -- DD is the lightest sleeper and it is very hard.
-- Limit the visitors in the beginning too-- that was a major contributor to my baby blues!
-- Try really hard to get baby into a sleeping routine where BFing to fall asleep isn't a must.
-- Also, I will try to stay home for almost a year, if possible!

Re: First-time moms: What will you differently the next time around?

The only thing that I would change would be to have someone help me the entire first week I was home. DH did not have days to take off so he had to go back to work after one day home. My mom was with me for one day but the rest of the week I was by myself and still recovering from labor. I definitely needed help!

Re: First-time moms: What will you differently the next time around?

So far, not much I would change, I like the way things are going.

The only thing I would hopefully be better at is WORRYING less, due to mor experience. That in turn will benefit my possible next child. I also wish I journaled events more, instead of worrying.

Other than that, DD hated the paci so no issue there, didn't cry much or seen to enjoy being held much or rocked, so no issue with her falling asleep, and got reflux which forced us to put her in a crib at 3 mths. She also will sleep anywhere and everywhere, not just the crib or pnp. And family and friends were always limited, I never wanted to start any bad habits (yet I sometimes feel bad I did limit certain things, but had to for my sanity).

So why exactly am I always stressed out? Refer to my first paragraph. I guess I just need to realize I am doing a pretty good job considering I am training on the job, lol.

Message edited 10/4/2009 11:57:56 PM.

Re: First-time moms: What will you differently the next time around?

With my 2nd child...I didn't sweat the small stuff as much like writing down every time he ate, etc. I enjoyed my time with him much more because I was more relaxed.

Re: First-time moms: What will you differently the next time around?

#1 is definitely to not breastfeed. I hated every minute of it and made myself sick with guilt and worry that I wanted to quit. I am not going to put myself through that again.
maybe selfish but like someone else said above Happy Mommy = Happy baby

definitely going to try not to rock for nighttime and naps. We are trying to break that habit now and it is very hard.

DD can take or leave the soothie so thats not an issue for us.

I am slacking big time with printing pictures and writing in the baby book so I would love to get a handle on that with #2.

Re: First-time moms: What will you differently the next time around?

Jake has been a very easy baby, so I am hoping I remember a lot of what we're doing, in hopes that same kind of routine will result in the same kind of baby...

The one thing I would do differently is napping in the crib. I was suprised to see so many of us have that as a response as well. Today, at 8.5 mos old, was the 1st time he napped in his crib for both naps w/o crying. CIO at night has trickled down to naps. I hope.
Hooray.

Re: First-time moms: What will you differently the next time around?

Re: First-time moms: What will you differently the next time around?

be a little stricter about nap time. DD is a horrible napper We let her nap whenever but she does sleep through the night and did that early.

Put in the crib right away (DH) started her sleeping on the bed with us

I may try the no paci thing...while DD is not terribly addicted she is still dependent on it for comfort

Re: First-time moms: What will you differently the next time around?

Try to get into a routine sooner and not worry about whether or not I am being "supermom". Stay out a full seven months for maternity leave instead of six. Oh...and set limits with the IL's immediately!!!!!!

Message edited 10/5/2009 9:26:45 AM.

Re: First-time moms: What will you differently the next time around?

i dont think i will change much the 2nd time around.

i never gave dd a pacifer so that i wouldnt have to worry about attachment issues

i started sleeping training around 6 months and i will do the same with #2

I started solids around 5 months and will do the same with #2.

i think the only difference is that i will pump more with #2 in the beginning so that i can start a stock pile in the freezer.

oh and now that i am a "well seasoned" mom i will allow immediate family to come and visit the house sooner then the 1 week wait.
i feel bad that i made everyone wait a week to visit me at the house, including my mom. i was adament about learning how to be a parent by ourselves. i didnt want people to take over and tell me that i was swaddling wrong or burping the baby wrong.

other than that i dont think i would change much.

Re: First-time moms: What will you differently the next time around?

Sean is only 5.5 months.....so, other than journal throughout my pregnancy and after the next baby is born ....I'm not really sure yet.
Honestly, I ASKED for and ACTUALLY listened to alot of the advice I got from BTDT Moms (on here and from friends/family)
Every time someone said "I wish I didn't do A, B or C" or "If I had only done 1, 2 or 3" I really took that into consideration when Sean was born and tried my best to incorporate it somehow -

Probably b/c I felt like I had NO idea W T F I was getting myself into and was never under any illusions that I 'automatically knew best b/c I was his mother' (Not to say anyone is arrogant ...but I was so so nervous b/c I was never one to "LOVE" babies and everyone kept telling me "Oh, you'll just KNOW, you're his MOTHER" as if by some cosmic force of nature you immediately know what is best for this teeny tiny person that you just met and have zero experience with .......

For now, I don't think I'd do anything differently - I'm sure I'll have a list of at least 50 things by the time he's 2 years old though !

Re: First-time moms: What will you differently the next time around?

Turn my phone off.
No visitors for the 1st two weeks.

Wrap my tummy with the postpartum tummy wrap thingy- I forgot what its called.


Thats it

Cause honestly, for being a 1st time mom, who knew ziltch about raising a newborn baby, I think I'm doing one helluva job.

Re: First-time moms: What will you differently the next time around?

- Pump more; I hated the pump and started pumping late since BF was working fine, I didn't want even more work to do-- but I could have built up a good stash

- Not rocking/bouncing her to sleep; also, up until she was close to a year old, she'd only fall asleep on bottles/boob, never on her own

- I don't know how since I don't feel I really did anything detrimental, but somehow work with eating issues earlier...DD was a horrible eater from day 1 with cereal, and still is pretty picky; try to rectify that situation a little better

- we've gotten in the bad habit of letting DD walk around when she's eating sometimes instead of sitting at the table I'd like to not do that again b/c she eats MUCH faster when she's at the table, but she fights going there sometimes and I give in a lot

- write in her baby book...I cannot believe how I never did it

Message edited 10/5/2009 11:55:29 AM.

Re: First-time moms: What will you differently the next time around?

1. Speak up and get better photos. I feel horrible that poor AJ has no really good hospital photos.

2. Toss people out at the hospital. I needed SLEEP!

3. Not waste money on the stupid crib set sheets. Ugh. Why bother?

4. Invest in a crib wedge

5. Really pay attention to the solid food thing. Not be so terrified and feed her more

6. Play the game with the doctors better. Interview multiple place so i can FORCE my own darned schedule. Options options options.


Otherwise so far at 1yr year I'm pretty happy with my choices. I started in NY with a cramped apt and made choices on that environment that became very useful when i got more room. Made due with second hand and used clothes which was awesome and I'd do that again in a heart beat. Didnt buy all the cool chairs, bouncers, activity centers, swings, etc and I dont regret it. She's walking fine and didnt miss a thing.

Im sure that will change in a few months and I'll think of things I could have done differently!

Hindsight... gotta love it!

Re: First-time moms: What will you differently the next time around?

I would build up a better stash of frozen foods for when I'm home on maternity leave.

I will demand DH step up to the plate more.

I will start freezing bm earlier. I have only eight weeks left and I am barely producing enough for a half a bottle. DS will be out of milk by 9 months.

I will save enough to hire a cleaning person to keep the house somewhat decent.

Paci - not sure about. DS doesn't really use it much but it comes in handy sometimes when he is crying and wont go to sleep.

Try to EBF for nine months instead of six months.

Message edited 10/5/2009 3:08:37 PM.