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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
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Diana
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WWYD - nursery school related
So, Jack has hard a hard time adjusting to nursery school. He cries for a good portion of the time he is there. He does have good moments though.
He goes on Tues and Thurs for two hours each day.
Today I get a call from the director asking me to come and get him. She also tells that I should maybe take him out now and try again at 3 years old (He is 27 months)
I run to pick him up - and am beside myself because I feel so bad for him. I get there and he is fine. Playing. Eating snack. Fine. Of course at the end he was getting anxious when they shut the doors bc he knows that's when I get him.
She said that this was def. progress and to keep bringing him back. I'm pizzed - I think that three weeks - two times a week - is not enough time for her to tell me to pull him out for the year.
I was planning on giving him till December - if he was still this way I would take him out. He's also dealing with alot being that I am having a baby in two weeks. Everyone thinks he can sense this.
Jack is also the type of kid that is very very independent and does his own thing with the other kids at playdates - never ever looks for me. This is very out of character for him IMO.
What would you do? I obviously do not want to torture him at all - this is supposed to be fun for him - but - I do not think she is giving him a chance.
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Posted 9/29/09 11:37 AM  |
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Marcie
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Re: WWYD - nursery school related
I would keep him in school. What has he gone maybe 6 times...he needs more time to adjust.
I know a kid in Ali's class is still having a hard time adjusting when they drop him off, but when they pick him up a totally different kid. and they have been going 3 days a week, so they have gone about 12 times...I think it will still take some more time 
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| Posted 9/29/09 11:45 AM |
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computergirl
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Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
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Re: WWYD - nursery school related
Honestly, go with your gut. I don't think you'll be harming him in any way by continuing to send him, but I don't think you'd be depriving him of anything by pulling him out either.
I am probably in the minority, but I honestly don't think 2 year olds really "need" school. I think we as moms do need a break and that's why we send them, lol!!! With my DS, for various reasons, I chose not to do a 2 yr old program, just a 2x/week mommy and me class. He was 3 1/2 when he started nursery school and certainly doesn't seem to have missed out on anything by skipping the 2s program. He was one of the only ones who didn't cry at all the first week, in fact.
You know your child best, just follow your own intuition!
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| Posted 9/29/09 11:48 AM |
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jmf423
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Re: WWYD - nursery school related
I wouldn't rush to pull him out. It sounds like he is making progress.
I am sure he picks up on the changes going on at home with the baby coming and I think that factors into it.
Only you know what is best for him, but I would give him a little more time. Every kid is different with their adjustment period.
I take my DS to a Mommy and me/slow separation type class and my friends son is in a nursery school class down the hallway and he cries on and off a good part of the class but the director told her to give him a few more weeks and he should adjust fine.
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| Posted 9/29/09 11:49 AM |
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KateDevine
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Re: WWYD - nursery school related
I would keep him in school.
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| Posted 9/29/09 11:49 AM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
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Diana
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Re: WWYD - nursery school related
Posted by computergirl
Honestly, go with your gut. I don't think you'll be harming him in any way by continuing to send him, but I don't think you'd be depriving him of anything by pulling him out either.
I am probably in the minority, but I honestly don't think 2 year olds really "need" school. I think we as moms do need a break and that's why we send them, lol!!! With my DS, for various reasons, I chose not to do a 2 yr old program, just a 2x/week mommy and me class. He was 3 1/2 when he started nursery school and certainly doesn't seem to have missed out on anything by skipping the 2s program. He was one of the only ones who didn't cry at all the first week, in fact.
You know your child best, just follow your own intuition!
I thought I would be sending him for a break for me too - but honestly, it's so much more work. We both need to be dressed and out of the house by 8:50. And, by the time I leave him there I have to be back there an hour and a half later. I literally didn't even get to clean my floors like I wanted to today. 
I wanted it for him because I thought it would be fun, especially with a newborn in the house in two weeks, I didn't think we'd be able to get out as much as he's been used to for the last two years. He's such a social kid - I thought he would LOVE it.
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| Posted 9/29/09 11:52 AM |
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JenBenMen
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Re: WWYD - nursery school related
I would keep him in school. It will be the same thing at three years old. Trust me--get him used to it now. Its good for him to get out of the house. When the new baby comes you are not going to be able to take him out as much so this is good for him.
Keep him in!!!
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| Posted 9/29/09 11:57 AM |
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Tine73
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Re: WWYD - nursery school related
I don't think 6 times is enough time to determine he should stop going.
Is there a different school you could try?
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| Posted 9/29/09 12:04 PM |
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CrankyPants
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Re: WWYD - nursery school related
It there a longer program he can go to-i.e. 3 or 4 hours?
I know that sounds counter productive, but I wonder if it would give him time to settle in and see how much fun it can be.
It sounds like by the time he is settled in, it's pretty much time to go.
Also-it will give you more of a break once he gets into the routine.
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| Posted 9/29/09 12:06 PM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
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Momx100
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Re: WWYD - nursery school related
I would definitely keep him in school but perhaps change schools.
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| Posted 9/29/09 12:06 PM |
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CathyB
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Re: WWYD - nursery school related
I'd keep him in.
Have you thought about doing 3 days a week instead? I know that the 2 year old teacher at our school says that the kids who come Tues/Thurs have a harder time getting back into the routine, especially on Tuesdays since it's such a long time between classes. She prefers for the kids who have some separation anxiety to go Monday/Wednesday/Friday.
When Sarah was in the 2 year old program she used to be crying every day when I picked her up, and they told me that every time she'd burst into tears when they shut the door right before the mommies come, but she was fine before that. I used to watch them on the playground before I went in so I knew she was fine and that was just her reaction to her school day ending.
I hope he learns to love it soon!
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| Posted 9/29/09 12:28 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
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Diana
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Re: WWYD - nursery school related
Posted by CathyB
I'd keep him in.
Have you thought about doing 3 days a week instead? I know that the 2 year old teacher at our school says that the kids who come Tues/Thurs have a harder time getting back into the routine, especially on Tuesdays since it's such a long time between classes. She prefers for the kids who have some separation anxiety to go Monday/Wednesday/Friday.
When Sarah was in the 2 year old program she used to be crying every day when I picked her up, and they told me that every time she'd burst into tears when they shut the door right before the mommies come, but she was fine before that. I used to watch them on the playground before I went in so I knew she was fine and that was just her reaction to her school day ending.
I hope he learns to love it soon!
I agree that Tues/Thurs is harder than M/W/F. I asked if they had any availablity on those days and they don't. I also think that Thursday to Tuesday is a long time to go between classes. He did better on Thursday last week than he did on Tuesday.
I also watch him in the playground also (gotta love squatting down, hiding behind a bush) and today he really didn't stop crying (he did last week though)
I don't want to try another school because I do like this one - and I do think that consistency is key. The teachers seem to be really good with him - and he def. likes/trusts them.
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| Posted 9/29/09 12:32 PM |
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MST9106
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Re: WWYD - nursery school related
Wow, I'd be totally pizzed at the school...I would totally give him until December if not longer. He's been with you all the time since he was born...they should definitely give him more time. At the daycare that my son is starting on Monday they give the kids 2-3 months at least to adjust.
Definitely keep him there and let him adjust!
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| Posted 9/29/09 12:58 PM |
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lvdolphins
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Re: WWYD - nursery school related
Keep him in school. I don't think the director gave you enough time.
It takes time for kids to adjust.
It may be a little different, but, I was a day care teacher and trust me, I had kids that adjusted the first day and kids that took a month! This was M-F 8-2:30.
Jack is going PT, 2 hours. He definitley needs more time to adjust!
Is there a 3 day option? Maybe that would even help him more.
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| Posted 9/29/09 1:04 PM |
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dm24angel
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Re: WWYD - nursery school related
Well I dont think unfortunatly Playdates are any indication of how they will be at a school b/c school is structure and the kids may need to do things they dont want to do....
But that said, I dont understand why there's not a partial seperation? I dont think any kid with anxiety should just be left to deal....It could take weeks to adjust but he would adjust....He is on the younger side for a full seperation? many 3 yr olds dont even adjust kwim?
I wouldnt pull him out , but I wouldn't continue without a partial seperation to teach him .
Lots of luck
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| Posted 9/29/09 1:13 PM |
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MST9106
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Re: WWYD - nursery school related
Posted by lvdolphins
Is there a 3 day option? Maybe that would even help him more.
I was thinking that too...maybe an extra day would help...
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| Posted 9/29/09 1:15 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
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Diana
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Re: WWYD - nursery school related
Posted by MST9106
Posted by lvdolphins
Is there a 3 day option? Maybe that would even help him more.
I was thinking that too...maybe an extra day would help...
Right now they don't have availability in the three day!
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| Posted 9/29/09 1:15 PM |
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Janice
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Re: WWYD - nursery school related
I guess I am a complete minority in this...but if Josh was crying I would take him out and try again later.
We go to an hour long art class where he sits with class and I am out in lobby.
He tells me all the time he can't wait to get on a bus and leave me.
Does Jack act excited to be going to school?
Josh can be telling me one thing and when the time comes he might do something completely different. 2 years ago he was in your belly. 2 years a lot changes. in 2 years he will be 4, a completely different kid.
If its something he loves I would leave him in. If he's crying and not happy when its suppose to be a program to make him happy, i would take him out.
since he's only 2, you have plenty of time to work on the seperation.
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| Posted 9/29/09 1:18 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
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Diana
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Re: WWYD - nursery school related
Posted by Janice
I guess I am a complete minority in this...but if Josh was crying I would take him out and try again later.
We go to an hour long art class where he sits with class and I am out in lobby.
He tells me all the time he can't wait to get on a bus and leave me.
Does Jack act excited to be going to school?
Josh can be telling me one thing and when the time comes he might do something completely different. 2 years ago he was in your belly. 2 years a lot changes. in 2 years he will be 4, a completely different kid.
If its something he loves I would leave him in. If he's crying and not happy when its suppose to be a program to make him happy, i would take him out.
since he's only 2, you have plenty of time to work on the seperation.
I know - the crying absolutely KILLS me. But, I feel like if I take him out now, it's too soon and I'm not giving him a chance to get used to it - which in the long run will not benefit him at all. I KNOW this is something he will love - if he only gives it a chance and gets over the fact that I leave him for the two hours.
I also think it's harder since he does have the speech delay he doesn't get the concept of "Mommy will be right back - you'll play with toys, have a snack, and then Mommy will be here" -- he doesn't get that just yet?
I am also really pushing for it, because I think it will do wonders for his speech. I think I'm more in shock because I truly never ever expected this from him.
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| Posted 9/29/09 1:22 PM |
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Sweets13
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Re: WWYD - nursery school related
Dont pull him out. Part time kids take longer to adjust, especially Tuesday/Thursday.
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| Posted 9/29/09 1:23 PM |
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SuzyQ
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Re: WWYD - nursery school related
I would definitely keep him in it for awhile longer. When is the baby due? I would see if it gets better before that. He'll probably have issues again after the big change of his baby brother's arrival, but if he's happy at school by then, maybe it will help him adjust at home. Am I making sense? I'm sure it's so hard, but I think it would be even harder next year, unless there's another program you could do that eases him into the separation. I know out here we have a few different programs like that, where the moms come for a little while, then leave them for a gradually longer period of time. But, for now, I'd give it a little while longer at the school he's already at. Good luck! I hope it gets better soon.
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| Posted 9/29/09 1:30 PM |
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Re: WWYD - nursery school related
I would keep him in. It takes time but he will be o.k. It is going to take time for him to understand that mommy is coming back.
Our director also will tell the parents if she feels the child isn't ready but if he does eventually calm down and isn't crying for the 2.5 hours he is there everyday and it seems to be getting better I would leave him.
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| Posted 9/29/09 1:47 PM |
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smdl
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Re: WWYD - nursery school related
That's not long enough to determine for an entire year. I say after 2 months you should know better.
Do they have a separation class?
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| Posted 9/29/09 2:27 PM |
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MrsGmomof3
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Re: WWYD - nursery school related
IMO, he may be too young. I would take him out and try again when he is 3.
The preschool that my kids go to gives them one month to adjust, then the parents are asked to take the child out.
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| Posted 9/29/09 2:29 PM |
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cjik
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Re: WWYD - nursery school related
I would give him a little more time and follow-up with the staff to see how he's doing each day. If he still isn't adapting well to it, I would probably take him out and wait until he adjusts to the baby and he's older.
It's probably a little of both things that are hard for him--being away from you and knowing that something different is going on in his home with the baby. I do think they can sense change--DS is a terror every time we pack for trips we've begun to notice. Much smaller change, but I think they do know.
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| Posted 9/29/09 2:52 PM |
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