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missrock
Beautiful!!!!
Member since 5/06 3808 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Sorry to be a Debbie Downer....just feeling sorry for myself today.
I love my DS….really I do, but I get so nervous to be around him sometimes. His crankiness is really getting to me. The bad part about it is that I don’t know if he is just an unhappy baby, has stomach problems or is just plain colic. I cant see colic because most times he can be consoled with a paci. Its just that feeding him is usually a nightmare. He spits up, gets all crazy while feeding and hates to burp (I mean literally screams like I am killing him).
He is on Prevacid and on Elecare. I don’t think that you can get better than that. His sleeping at night is getting better, that’s a plus. He just wont sleep in the crib. He has only been getting up once during the night for a feeding. I honestly would rather him get happier than to sleep through the night.
I feel guilty because I don’t enjoy him and I cant even enjoy my DD because I have to constantly hold him and try and console him when he is fussy. Sometimes I miss my family of 3. Having 2 is harder than I ever thought it would be. I don’t feel depressed, I just sometimes just think to myself why did I have another kid.
My DS is the most beautiful baby and just want him to be happier. I want to play with him and make him smile but we just cant because after trying to play with him within 10 mins he is fussing and crying again. I keep counting down the days until he turns 3 months hoping that it will be the magical number, but for some reason I see this lasting a lot longer. Sometimes I don’t know how much more I can take.
Sorry for the vent. I just needed to get that out.
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Posted 6/18/09 9:54 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Sorry to be a Debbie Downer....just feeling sorry for myself today.
 I just wanted to say that this is how I felt about Ava when she was a young infant. It was not a pleasant experience to be with her all day. It just wasn't. She had reflux and a severe milk allergy, like your DS, and she was miserable most of the day. She could be consoled, but I had to be holding her and tending to her every moment of every day. It was pretty much awful. However, the good news is that by 5 months old, that was a thing of the past, and she became the happiest little girl. I couldn't believe it! I still can't believe how miserable she was in the beginning. It gets better. Just take it one moment at a time. I know how hard it is
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| Posted 6/18/09 10:07 AM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Sorry to be a Debbie Downer....just feeling sorry for myself today.
I think the adjust from 1 to 2 can be difficult-especially when baby number 2 is very different from your first.
I do think that if it is getting you down or you are felling nervous around them as you said, you should speak to someone and soon. Just to unburden yourself. Walking around feeling this way is no good. Is there anyone who can come by and relieve you for a little while?
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| Posted 6/18/09 10:08 AM |
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jinglemommy
I <3 my boys!
Member since 12/06 1389 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Sorry to be a Debbie Downer....just feeling sorry for myself today.
My advice to you is to get a sling or a bjorn and go out someplace. Bring your dd to the mall or a play area and just wear ds. The wearing him will help console him and keep him moving. The going out will help you feel a little more normal and keep dd interested in something. This rain is not helping anyone either. I went to Tanger Outlets in Deer Park yesterday with my cousin and my boys.
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| Posted 6/18/09 10:09 AM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sorry to be a Debbie Downer....just feeling sorry for myself today.
This is going to be harsh but it's coming from a mom who also have a very colicky and fussy second baby - you need to get over it and start trying to enjoy your time with them. They can feel what you're feeling and it's just going to keep repeating itself until you make the conscious decision to have better days. Maybe if you start feeling better and happier, they will too.
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| Posted 6/18/09 10:11 AM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Sorry to be a Debbie Downer....just feeling sorry for myself today.
I felt this way about DS for the first few months. DD was so easy and I would constantly think about what it would be like if we just had her... at 4 months he went through a huge change and became a much happier baby. Now at 5.5 months he is happy, smiley, and thanks to a few nights of CIO, almost sleeping through the night.
It will get better!!!
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| Posted 6/18/09 10:11 AM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: Sorry to be a Debbie Downer....just feeling sorry for myself today.
Are you sure the prevacid is working for him?
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| Posted 6/18/09 10:27 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Sorry to be a Debbie Downer....just feeling sorry for myself today.
There is absolutely NO shame in how you feel and it doesn't make you a bad mommy, and the dirty little secret of motherhood is that the parents of collicky or difficult infants OFTEN feel this way - I know I did. For a while I blamed myself - I thought something was wrong with me, as a parent, that my child was SO difficult and fussy, and that I was a horrible person because I couldn't WAIT to go back to work, to get away from the all day fussiness and screaming and crying.
You are human, and there are limits to what you can handle, physically and emotionally - you're still recovering, hormonally, from the birth, which is making an impact on your emotions. WHile a child is always a blessing, it also makes a tremendous impact on the family dynamic, and it would do everyone a disservice to pretend that it isn't making as much of an impact as it is. And, add on top of that, the constant screaming and fussing - you're responding exactly how any woman would, I assure you.
Take comfort in knowing that your feelings are normal and you aren't alone - I promise you, having one of the most difficult, "spirited" little kids out there, that it DOES get better. For me, it took about 6 months before Alex came out of the fog of fussiness, and even then, she was a difficullt baby and toddler. But let me tell you, as an almost 4 year old, she more than makes up for it in personality and humor You'll get there too
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| Posted 6/18/09 10:39 AM |
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JRD2008
CT. here we come!!
Member since 5/08 2944 total posts
Name:
Kathleen
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Re: Sorry to be a Debbie Downer....just feeling sorry for myself today.
I posted the other day about feeling similar. You are not alone! If you ever want to talk in more detail, please FM me.
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| Posted 6/18/09 11:06 AM |
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Carolyn
.....
Member since 5/07 5351 total posts
Name:
Twin mommy
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Re: Sorry to be a Debbie Downer....just feeling sorry for myself today.
I hope things get better soon Jenn
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| Posted 6/18/09 11:15 AM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: Sorry to be a Debbie Downer....just feeling sorry for myself today.
Posted by Bxgell2
Take comfort in knowing that your feelings are normal and you aren't alone - I promise you, having one of the most difficult, "spirited" little kids out there, that it DOES get better. For me, it took about 6 months before Alex came out of the fog of fussiness, and even then, she was a difficullt baby and toddler. But let me tell you, as an almost 4 year old, she more than makes up for it in personality and humor You'll get there too
You promise Beth? 
If you do a search on my posts, you'll see that my ds has not been an easy baby AT ALL! Very high maintenance, very difficult, etc. It has not been easy in the least bit. I wish i had a crystal ball because in about 3 years (i need some time to recoup  ) when we think about TTC again, i wish i knew what baby #2 was going to be like. If he/she is going to be like jacen, i know it's horrible to say... but i don't know if we could do it again. I've always wanted about 4 kids, but i don't think i could do it if they're all as hard as he's been.
Even at a year old, it has gotten somewhat better, but he's still a lot of work! He requires a lot of attention and can still be difficult. I will say that at about 6 months old after some CIO for naps and bedtime, he got much better. The miserable baby he was for the past previous months... became much happier and easier to deal with. Lucky for him because i constantly told my husband that i was going to be dropping him off at the firehouse soon if things didn't get better. I also told my son he was going to be an only child.
I probably shouldn't tell you this, but we're still waiting for him to get easier. He's almost a year and though things have improved in a lot of ways... he's still hard. I think we've just become better at managing meltdowns or learning what to do versus not do. Work around his naps, etc. Of course my son isn't crawling or walking yet  , so that's adding to his frustration and ours since all he wants to do is be held.
I can't promise you it will get 100% better, but it will get more manageable as he gets older. Please feel free to vent away or FM me anytime!!!!! I really mean that! I really didn't think i'd survive. Thank god for my husband because he's been the rock throughout all of this. I have had many breakdowns over the past year.
Just know that you're not alone. Unfortunately time is not your friend (it never was mine ) and that's what it's going to take...
ETA: my son also has reflux, is on zantac (still) and was on similac Alimentum.
Message edited 6/18/2009 11:22:37 AM.
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| Posted 6/18/09 11:19 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Sorry to be a Debbie Downer....just feeling sorry for myself today.
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| Posted 6/18/09 11:19 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Sorry to be a Debbie Downer....just feeling sorry for myself today.
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by Bxgell2
Take comfort in knowing that your feelings are normal and you aren't alone - I promise you, having one of the most difficult, "spirited" little kids out there, that it DOES get better. For me, it took about 6 months before Alex came out of the fog of fussiness, and even then, she was a difficullt baby and toddler. But let me tell you, as an almost 4 year old, she more than makes up for it in personality and humor You'll get there too
You promise?
I do, I promise! My daughter sounds much like the way your DS is - she came out of the colic around 6 months, but remained, and still IS, a very sensitive, difficult, high maintenance, highly spirited little individual. She has always been a challenge, just in different ways as she gets older.
I can say this, however, at around 3 she really did turn a corner, and while she has mastered the art of negotiation and smart-arseness, which makes for some interesting times, she's also developed into a very sweet, kind girl, who sleeps through the night, and behaves when I take her out - it took MUCH discipline and effort on our part, though.
I always hold this in my heart, which helps me get through it - that these are the the kind of children who, when older, if they use that "fire" inside their bellies for good, will blaze through this world and make one hell of a mark. I am proud to be a mother to a child whom I have no doubt will make quite a name for herself as an adult, and I think all that fire and temper will serve her SO well as a young adult. The only unfortunate part of all of it is that it can be REALLY difficult to be a parent to one of these kids, and you have to always be mindful to redirect all that energy in a positive way.
But it can be done, and the rewards you reap are just tremendous as they get older and you can actually reason with them 
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| Posted 6/18/09 11:25 AM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: Sorry to be a Debbie Downer....just feeling sorry for myself today.
Posted by Bxgell2
I do, I promise! My daughter sounds much like the way your DS is - she came out of the colic around 6 months, but remained, and still IS, a very sensitive, difficult, high maintenance, highly spirited little individual. She has always been a challenge, just in different ways as she gets older.
I can say this, however, at around 3 she really did turn a corner, and while she has mastered the art of negotiation and smart-arseness, which makes for some interesting times, she's also developed into a very sweet, kind girl, who sleeps through the night, and behaves when I take her out - it took MUCH discipline and effort on our part, though.
I always hold this in my heart, which helps me get through it - that these are the the kind of children who, when older, if they use that "fire" inside their bellies for good, will blaze through this world and make one hell of a mark. I am proud to be a mother to a child whom I have no doubt will make quite a name for herself as an adult, and I think all that fire and temper will serve her SO well as a young adult. The only unfortunate part of all of it is that it can be REALLY difficult to be a parent to one of these kids, and you have to always be mindful to redirect all that energy in a positive way.
But it can be done, and the rewards you reap are just tremendous as they get older and you can actually reason with them
Well looks like you're having another quite soon, so you must have gotten over it and through it. You're one brave woman!!!! 
See Jenn!!! It does get better. And if it doesn't, Beth promises to take your ds for you! 
Message edited 6/18/2009 11:39:08 AM.
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| Posted 6/18/09 11:37 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Sorry to be a Debbie Downer....just feeling sorry for myself today.
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by Bxgell2
I do, I promise! My daughter sounds much like the way your DS is - she came out of the colic around 6 months, but remained, and still IS, a very sensitive, difficult, high maintenance, highly spirited little individual. She has always been a challenge, just in different ways as she gets older.
I can say this, however, at around 3 she really did turn a corner, and while she has mastered the art of negotiation and smart-arseness, which makes for some interesting times, she's also developed into a very sweet, kind girl, who sleeps through the night, and behaves when I take her out - it took MUCH discipline and effort on our part, though.
I always hold this in my heart, which helps me get through it - that these are the the kind of children who, when older, if they use that "fire" inside their bellies for good, will blaze through this world and make one hell of a mark. I am proud to be a mother to a child whom I have no doubt will make quite a name for herself as an adult, and I think all that fire and temper will serve her SO well as a young adult. The only unfortunate part of all of it is that it can be REALLY difficult to be a parent to one of these kids, and you have to always be mindful to redirect all that energy in a positive way.
But it can be done, and the rewards you reap are just tremendous as they get older and you can actually reason with them
Well looks like you're having another quite soon, so you must have gotten over it and through it. You're one brave woman!!!!
Or, just crazy and stupid, especially considering we spent over $10k to get pregnant with this one
Can't lie... the fear and terror about the disposition of this next one is paralyzing!
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| Posted 6/18/09 11:39 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Sorry to be a Debbie Downer....just feeling sorry for myself today.
I applaud your honesty! I think many of us have days like this, and some situations are very draining and hard. I can't imagine having two. So I CAN imagine how you might feel so overwhelmed.
I know for me it's hard b/c there is no one to help me. Do you have anyone to help you? I would assume that might ease some stress but sometimes it's just not possible.
That's why you have us to vent to. So vent away. I have no experience to offer just wnat you to know you are NORMAL for feeling this way, it's called tired and frustrated!!!
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| Posted 6/18/09 11:50 AM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Sorry to be a Debbie Downer....just feeling sorry for myself today.
It sounds to me like he is making some real progress. He is sleeping better which was a concern of yours in the beginning. My son always screamed bloody murder when I had to burp him. It was torture. At that age no kids want their crib, it's a big scary place that they aren't used to -and they want a nice cozy spot to relax in. If he sleeps great in the swing, keep him in that until he's a little older.
I think you have an advantage over the first time moms because you know how good it really does get, and it will happen before you know it.
Try to get someone to help you out once in awhile. Take some time for yourself away from both kids. You deserve a break too!
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| Posted 6/18/09 11:59 AM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Sorry to be a Debbie Downer....just feeling sorry for myself today.
I had two at once and when they were that little I was so overwhelmed...constant gas and stomach issues. Seemed like they were never happy. For us it got better around 5 months. Of course consult your Dr about this but have you tried:
gripe water
probiotics
smaller more frequent feedings
maalox
chamomile tea
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| Posted 6/18/09 12:05 PM |
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1stimemom
Love my boys
Member since 2/08 8766 total posts
Name:
Mrs Dee
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Re: Sorry to be a Debbie Downer....just feeling sorry for myself today.
Have you dicussed putting cereal in his bottles with the pediatrician? I started with my DS at 6 weeks and it really helped alot. GL!
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| Posted 6/18/09 12:08 PM |
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littlejoy06
Love
Member since 3/07 6944 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sorry to be a Debbie Downer....just feeling sorry for myself today.
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| Posted 6/18/09 12:26 PM |
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Annie91606
Brotherly love
Member since 12/07 1816 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: Sorry to be a Debbie Downer....just feeling sorry for myself today.
I felt like this too. I felt like DS was ALWAYS crying and fussing and never just "hung out". he had reflux and I know that was a part of it. Some things that really helped until things turned around (around 4-5 months)
-swaddling
-holding him and bouncing on an exercise ball while I watched TV, that motion seemed to calm him (and I lost most of my baby weight)
-gripe water
-rice in bottle
-sometimes medicine dosage needs to be adjusted when baby gains weight
-white noise machine
GL and do not feel bad My DS is a happy go lucky toddler now!
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| Posted 6/18/09 12:50 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sorry to be a Debbie Downer....just feeling sorry for myself today.
No Advice, but, want to offer
I hope it gets better real soon for you!
Maybe it is a belly problem.
Can you talk to the ped. again and see what he/she says?
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| Posted 6/18/09 1:42 PM |
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Charly
LOVE!
Member since 5/05 12578 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sorry to be a Debbie Downer....just feeling sorry for myself today.
I'm sooooo sorry Jen I know this is so hard on you. I wish I lived closer so I could help. I know Hannah would keep Paige occupied and happy. If there's anything I can do, please let me know. I wish you were still home so we could come see you now that my kids are finally (knock on wood) healthy and RJ has some shots.
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| Posted 6/18/09 2:38 PM |
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ddunne2
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Doreen
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Re: Sorry to be a Debbie Downer....just feeling sorry for myself today.
No shame in those feelings at all! Every mom has days, weeks and years just like you described, whether they are open about it or not. Having kids is so so hard, its indescribably hard in my opinion. The whining and crying can suck all the life and happiness out of anyone. It did for me for quite some time where I had days where I honestly regretted having kids. There...I said it! I love my kids to death, but that doesn't make me a supermom or any less human. But it will get better! As they get older, it does get easier in that they become little functioning people who can start to take care of some basic things like getting themselves dressed and you'll feel like you conquered the world when these milestones occur!
My extremely high mainteance spritied 4 year old got up today and made french toast sticks for him and his sister in the microwave at 7am! It was a glorious morning for me!
It will get better!
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| Posted 6/18/09 3:07 PM |
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want2beamom
Love my boys soooo much!!!
Member since 8/06 10164 total posts
Name:
True love doesn't end with happily ever after...
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Re: Sorry to be a Debbie Downer....just feeling sorry for myself today.
My son is on Elecare, and on prevacid....he was taking the prevacid (solutab) once a day at night...after going back and forth like crazy...and getting a ph probe put down his nose...the dr told me to try to split the prevacid....half in the morning half at night...they say that babies metabolize medicine much quicker, and even though it says it lasts 24 hrs....its more like 14-16 hours.
My son is so much more comfortable...it took about 7-10 days to really see the difference (he still doesnt sleep through the night....but he is much more comfy, so that's what matters) He actually now lays his head on my shoulder...that just shows me how comfy he is...it melts me
I hope he feels better soon...it's so hard
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| Posted 6/18/09 3:21 PM |
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