using "aunt" and "uncle" as a sign of respect?

i didn't want to hijack paulette's thread so i just started a new one... sorry if that was out of line

i associate the titles "ms." "mrs." and "mr." as ones used to show respect, i never considered aunt and uncle to be actually "titles" - just words used to show how a relative was related to you.

so i honestly wouldn't have a problem with my kids calling my sisters and SIL by their first names if that is what they wanted.

of course if they prefer to be called "aunt" that is what i will have my kids do.

but i personally don't think that it shows a lack of respect to use a person's first name if they are related to you.

am i wrong here? too modern? or just a difference of opinion?

Re: using "aunt" and "uncle" as a sign of respect?

To me, it is a matter of respecting someone as an elder to you, and as someone who has authority as an adult, etc.

Calling someone by their first name puts them on even ground with you, which is not the case with adults and children in my mind.

Re: using "aunt" and "uncle" as a sign of respect?

I guess in a way it is a sign of respect b/c to me my aunts and uncles were next in line to my parents, KWIM? I didn't call my parents by their first name (except when I was being a brat ) and they were authority figures as well, so they got "Aunt" and "Uncle"

I still call my aunts and uncles by that...

Re: using "aunt" and "uncle" as a sign of respect?

To me, it would be weird to have my kids call my sister or sister in laws by their first names. I grew up calling all adults either aunt, uncle, Mr. or Mrs... so mine will do the same.

I don't think you are wrong... whatever works in your family!

Re: using "aunt" and "uncle" as a sign of respect?

I think someone who is actually an aunt or uncle should be called such and I find it highly disrespectful when they don't. DH's neice calls him by his 1st name sometimes and it takes all of my force to bite my tounge from saying something to her - I have even said something to her parents.

Re: using "aunt" and "uncle" as a sign of respect?

My nieces and nephews sometimes call me Aunt Summer, sometimes just Summer. I am not offended, and don't see it as a lack of respect.

Re: using "aunt" and "uncle" as a sign of respect?

I think it depends on how the parents of the child view it. When I was growing up, there were very few people we called by only their first names. Most adults were either "Mr." or "Mrs." and our family members were "aunt" or "uncle". We even called very close friends of my parents aunt and uncle. The only adults I remember calling by their first names were neighbors, who asked us to do so.

For my parents, it was showing respect. I will raise my son to use the titles "aunt" and "uncle" but for me, it is more about teaching him that he has a special relationship with those people. I am not a big fan of having him call my friends "aunt" and "uncle" so they will be called by their first names unless they are really uncomfortable with that.

I don't care if my nieces and nephews use the title "aunt" or not. They all call me aunt, but if they didn't use it, it wouldn't bother me.

Re: using "aunt" and "uncle" as a sign of respect?

I think aunt & uncle are reserved for aunts, uncles & very, very close friends of the family.

Outside of actual relatives the only people called aunt & uncle are my best friend, their godfather and his wife .

I think it is a sign of elating that person over the regular guy you call by their first name and it's a different level of a relationship, so yes in a sense it's a sign of respect.

Message edited 4/20/2009 1:08:54 PM.

Re: using "aunt" and "uncle" as a sign of respect?

Re: using "aunt" and "uncle" as a sign of respect?

Re: using "aunt" and "uncle" as a sign of respect?

We always correct the kids in our family to say "Aunt X or Uncle X" if they don't say it at first. We think of it as a sign of respect in our families and I will make sure my kids use them all the time. That being said, even though my friends are very close to me, I won't have my kids call them, Aunt X because I reserve that for family only.

Re: using "aunt" and "uncle" as a sign of respect?

My nieces and nephews have to call me Aunt Didi (Per their parents) -- if one of them says "Hey Didi" - they will correct them and say "Aunt Didi"

This is how I address my aunts and uncles too.

I don't think there is anything wrong with the other way though!

Re: using "aunt" and "uncle" as a sign of respect?

Honetstly, as long as Ds is not calling them an arsehole...I am fine with whatever!

Re: using "aunt" and "uncle" as a sign of respect?

Posted by MrsFlatbread

Honetstly, as long as Ds is not calling them an arsehole...I am fine with whatever!

Re: using "aunt" and "uncle" as a sign of respect?

It's funny because my mom has 2 sisters, one we call aunt and the other we don't. Don't quite know why, but it just happened that way.

As far as I know, she doesn't have a problem with it.

My nephew, who is 2, used to just call me Sarah. But the other day for the first time said "aunt sarah" it was too too cute.

I love being called aunt, but I don't think it's disrespectful if my nephews call me Sarah.

Re: using "aunt" and "uncle" as a sign of respect?

I dont think its a lack of respect - we always called our aunts and uncles by their first names and DD does the same.

What drives me nuts though is friends of mine telling their kids to call me by "auntie and my name" I am not related to these kids so I am not your aunt - I might love you but I am not your aunt.

Re: using "aunt" and "uncle" as a sign of respect?

im a aunt to a 10 year old girl. she never calls me aunt. and i find it so rude. but she will call her mother sister aunt.

Re: using "aunt" and "uncle" as a sign of respect?

Re: using "aunt" and "uncle" as a sign of respect?

Posted by tatuka

Posted by jambalady

To me, it is a matter of respecting someone as an elder to you, and as someone who has authority as an adult, etc.

Calling someone by their first name puts them on even ground with you, which is not the case with adults and children in my mind.

exactly Thank you

Re: using "aunt" and "uncle" as a sign of respect?

Re: using "aunt" and "uncle" as a sign of respect?

Re: using "aunt" and "uncle" as a sign of respect?

Posted by Goldi0218

Posted by tatuka

Posted by jambalady

To me, it is a matter of respecting someone as an elder to you, and as someone who has authority as an adult, etc.

Calling someone by their first name puts them on even ground with you, which is not the case with adults and children in my mind.

exactly Thank you

That is how I feel.

Re: using "aunt" and "uncle" as a sign of respect?

What about if that neice is in their 40's now??? and the aunt is almost 60? does that make them even ground to drop the aunt/uncle according to theory?
I think it should stay the same. My aunt is still my aunt no matter how old I get or she gets and I will be still calling her aunt *** when I am 40 . KWIM

Re: using "aunt" and "uncle" as a sign of respect?

I would def. want my son to call elders by aunt uncle etc...my neighbior has her kids call me Ms Michelle and I feel like its weird...but oh well

Re: using "aunt" and "uncle" as a sign of respect?

Posted by MrsFlatbread

Honetstly, as long as Ds is not calling them an arsehole...I am fine with whatever!