at what point does PLANNING for a shower start?

I know they are usually not done until at least the 7th month, but when does the ball get rolling on planning the thing, usually...

Re: at what point does PLANNING for a shower start?

If I could throw it for myself I would be doing it now, but that is because I am anal! I think my family has picked the day but that's about it! Mine is going to be in June, my 7th month.

Re: at what point does PLANNING for a shower start?

I think in part it depends on if it is in a restaurant/how popular the time of year is for other events. Mine is in May, and many places were booked 3 and 4 months in advance for graduation parties/communion, etc. Fall/winter might be a less popular time.

My invites went out about a month and a half before my shower, which is a month and a half before my EDD. So that's 3 months there--we're having it at my aunt's home, so we only started planning 4.5 months in advance. A restaurant would have needed to be booked earlier I would imagine.

We only started planning (and registering) after my 20-week Level II sono.

Re: at what point does PLANNING for a shower start?

I would like to know the answer to this too..I am almost 15wk and feel like it's early - I will register after the 20 sono...but as far as the people throwing it for me-I don't know when they should start. Then when I think about it I am in my 4th month and if the shower is in the 7th that doesn't leave a whole lot of time.

Re: at what point does PLANNING for a shower start?

Depends on the timing and location.

If it is around a holiday or if it is being planned at a restaurant, I would say planning should start about 3 months before.

If it's at a house and not around a time of year when people are out of town and if you don't have many people coming into town, I would say they could start planning 1.5 or 2 months ahead of the event.

Re: at what point does PLANNING for a shower start?

it depends... you can start planning whenever you want for the shower, and then just let those who are throwing it for you know what you want.

my friends are throwing me a shower in June i will be 8 months. they started planning it the min they found out i was pregnant (at 6 weeks) lol...

Re: at what point does PLANNING for a shower start?

Like others have said, it depends on the location & timing.

My shower is being held in my home (by my choice) & my mom is hosting it. She lives OOS & will be coming down the first weekend in May to plan with me. My shower is either going to be June 27th or July 11th.

Re: at what point does PLANNING for a shower start?

My shower will be at 30 weeks. My mom started planning it at around 15 weeks I think -- reason being:

its in a restaurant and she needed to book the date early and my shower is over Memorial Day weekend and people generally make plans so we wanted to get the ball rolling.

I would say though that by 5 months the planning should be underway.

Re: at what point does PLANNING for a shower start?

I want mine to be someplace fab...outdoors, b/c it should be at the end of summer.

finding the place is going to prove the most difficult...

I am 13 weeks..and I haven't even begun to think about registering (I don't have the itch to do so at all)

but I am wondering about my party lol.

how do you find out who is throwing it. It's NOT my mom...so I am assuming it's us...can I just take that on, or should I wait for someone to volunteer...i don't want to plan my own shower while someone is planning another one for me.

I am normally rude and uncouth when it comes to these things as I was raised by wolves , so I really don't know how to proceed.

my bridal shower was easier. my MOH was in charge and I just explained to her what I wanted (and didn't) in no uncertain terms...she "gets" me so all was good.

she's already plannng my "celebrating mommy" shower (where our friends heap love and goodness for the expecting MOM and baby) so I don't expect her to be involved in my traditional shower at all.

Re: at what point does PLANNING for a shower start?

Re: at what point does PLANNING for a shower start?

Message edited 4/9/2009 2:56:15 PM.

Re: at what point does PLANNING for a shower start?

It is generally taboo to throw your own shower but you could talk to your mom and MIL and see if there has been any chatter yet-you can try to direct from behind the scenes once you know who the planner is.

Or, tell your Mom and MIL what is important to you and hope it makes it's way to the planner.

Message edited 4/9/2009 3:01:29 PM.

Re: at what point does PLANNING for a shower start?

Re: at what point does PLANNING for a shower start?

I planned my shower with my mother because she's incapable of planning a shower on her own and I have no sisters to bear the burden. So basically she took care of the food and I took care of the planning of everything else.

But since yours will definitely not be thrown by your mom, sometimes it's a sister, other times it's the DH and when all of those fail, it falls to friends.

Since it's early yet people may not have started thinking about your shower just yet. I think most planning begins around 20 weeks (that's when I registered). I was 33 weeks when my shower was held.

Obviously it wasn't a surprise, but many of my guests were surprised when I greeted them at the door.

Re: at what point does PLANNING for a shower start?

Re: at what point does PLANNING for a shower start?

Posted by Ophelia

Posted by CaMacho

Posted by Ophelia

how do you find out who is throwing it. It's NOT my mom...so I am assuming it's us...can I just take that on, or should I wait for someone to volunteer...i don't want to plan my own shower while someone is planning another one for me.

What about your MIL, sisters or SIL's (if you have any), Aunts you are close with... have you talked about it with any of them?

My mom is throwing me my NY shower and we started talking about it at around 16ish weeks, we just finished the invites and they should be delivered to her soon so she's sending them out the end of April. My shower is May 30th (i'll be 29 weeks) and it's at my mom's house.

My FL shower my MIL & SIL are planning and that one is a surprise.

my MIL is not from this country, and I don't think she's planned a party in her life

I also have WAYYYY more family here than my husband does (like 3 times the amount) so I wouldn't want them to shoulder such a burden. (I don't really expect anyone to)

I am also very picky about what I want. I don't want the traditional kind of shower.

I'd LOVE to have it at the Prospect Park Carousel or the Boat House, so people can DO something (ride the horses, or take a pedal boat out on to the lake) but I looked it up and they usually only do kids birthday parties ( I AM a child!)

can I put my dh in charge? is that wrong of me?

I just don't want the typical stuffy restaurant shower. that's really not me at all. I HATE shower games (I know, I am nuts) and generally hate just sitting around waiting for the gifts to open (though I love that part, the stuff is soo cute 0

anyway, I have issues

Re: at what point does PLANNING for a shower start?

I didn't want a traditional shower either and just assumed no one was planning one for me. Instead, I sent out an evite for one last hurrah summer BBQ - it wasn't supposed to be a shower, no presents, just a regular ol' BBQ before the baby came out.

Behind my back, though, hubby and a good friend of mine hijacked the BBQ and turned it into a suprise shower - it was still non-traditional though - co-ed, no hokey games, no restaurant. Just a nice, relaxed, laid back BBQ with all our closest friends and family.

Re: at what point does PLANNING for a shower start?

Picking the location for my shower started around my 16th week or so. I picked the date, which will be June 20th, and I knew it would be at a restaurant. Since it's in June, it competes with graduation parties, weddings and bridal showers, which is why we booked it so early.

However, nothing else has been done yet and I'm 20 weeks.

I just had my Level II this week (!!), and I'll be registering soon.

I think the timeline for planning a baby shower is similar to planning a bridal shower. You pick the date and work backwards from there.

I've heard of a few couples planning their own shower. Sometimes the DH plans it (with obvious help from the preggo wife). Jack & Jill showers are commonly planned by the parents-to-be.

Many brides & grooms plan and pay for their own weddings, and no one scoffs at that. Why can't the parents-to-be plan a party for the baby-to-be? In all honestly, the ones who you are inviting to the party should be your closest and dearest friends and family, and they should WANT to be there for you, regardless of who is footing the bill!

Re: at what point does PLANNING for a shower start?

Re: at what point does PLANNING for a shower start?

Re: at what point does PLANNING for a shower start?

Posted by Ophelia

Posted by CrankyPants

I don't want to sound ungrateful but my mom is crazy and I knew if left to her own devices it would be horrible (I didn't care about it being horrible for me, but I did care about it being horrible for the guests).

.

this is basically my exact problem. an outdoor shower would be a lot easier of a bill for us to bear...and having our family members do it alone without the means to do it in a way that I would like my guests to experience, will make me unhappy.

I also had a few debacles relating to my shower and wedding due to family "planning" that made it far worse and made me skittish.

I am not ungrateful...I just got burned. (not implying you said I was, just clarifying in case it appears that way)

Re: at what point does PLANNING for a shower start?

What about close friends?

One of my best friends has PLENTY of family who could have arranged her shower, but she is jewish and her MIL made it perfectly clear she wasn't doing anything for religious reasons, which made my friend's family scared to do anything for fear of setting off the in-laws.

So, my friend and I took it upon ourselves to organize a jack and jill shower in my house. Pretty much the same thing - very laid back, no games, no favors, co-ed,, etc. All of her closest friends pitched in and cooked up some food for the BBQ and desserts so I didn't have to spend much money, other than the few things I cooked up and some tame decorations.

Re: at what point does PLANNING for a shower start?

Re: at what point does PLANNING for a shower start?

Im helping my mom since i wasnt involved in my bridal shower. I wanna go restaurant shpping w/ her and decided where we will book it. I also want to be involved in the date we choose.

Anyway to answer your question, once im out of 1st tri i plan to start looking bc i want to have it booked so if i find a place i love i want to make sure i get it

Re: at what point does PLANNING for a shower start?

My shower was booked only 2 weeks ago and im 7 months. There is alot going on in both families...so we dont have many dates to choose from. I have a feeling im going to be having my shower VERY close to my due date