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Katie111806
Team Pink!
Member since 12/06 5349 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Can I have some hugs and/or advice?
I'm having such a tough week with DH. I am days (12 or less) away from delivering and we are just in such a bad place right now. We never fight with the exception of one thing - his family - and sometimes I worry that it is so bad that we won't be able to get passed it. Each argument we have is like a piece of our relationship being chipped away. We are passed the point of being able to discuss the issues calmly and each fight is just worst than the last.
Of course it doesn't help that we are both nervous about the baby's arrival, the house isn't ready, concerns about money since I'm not working,etc. And the worst of it is that when I am this upset I have an inability to take care of myself and know how much I need to for my baby. But I just shut down.
I so wanted to enjoy these last couple of weeks as just husband and wife, and instead I feel alone, scared, and more upset than I think I have ever been because this is supposed to be such a special time.
Not sure what I'm looking for here but thanks for listening and please don't quote. 
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Posted 11/6/08 2:41 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: Can I have some hugs and/or advice?
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| Posted 11/6/08 2:47 PM |
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2BEANS
wow time is going fast.
Member since 9/07 16106 total posts
Name:
Tina
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Re: Can I have some hugs and/or advice?
Posted by Katie111806
I so wanted to enjoy these last couple of weeks as just husband and wife, and instead I feel alone, scared, and more upset than I think I have ever been because this is supposed to be such a special time.
Have you shared this with him?
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| Posted 11/6/08 2:49 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Can I have some hugs and/or advice?
you should tell him how you feel ...........
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| Posted 11/6/08 2:51 PM |
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Blissful
Ultimate Expression of LOVE
Member since 6/08 4985 total posts
Name:
Maria
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Re: Can I have some hugs and/or advice?
I'm so sorry... I know what it is like to have family issues. I struggle with them everyday. The best advice I can give without knowing your specific situation is one that a dear friend gave me.
You need to start putting YOUR family first and foremost. YOUR family right now is YOU your DH and your  This is all that should matter at this point in time. You need to take care of YOURSELF because an unhappy and unhealthy mom means an unhappy baby. I've started doing this and it has made MY life SOOOOoooo much better!
If you are having a hardtime comunicating vervally with your DH because you are upset and shut down, I do the SAME thing, how about writing a letter explaining how you feel.
At this point, I would try and not discuss any more family issues. Tell your DH that your priority at this point in time is your impending family to be, nothing more, nothing less and focus on that.
As for the job and stress, anticipation and excitement of the new baby just try and get through 1 day at a time and try not to look too far ahead or you will drive yourself crazy....
And remember we are all ALWAYS here for you!
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| Posted 11/6/08 2:51 PM |
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MikesWife
Wanting...........
Member since 1/06 6887 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Can I have some hugs and/or advice?
Can you mention to him that you know the subject of the inlaws is a sore one, but in the best interest of you and the baby, can we please postpone all conversations pertaining to inlaws?
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| Posted 11/6/08 2:51 PM |
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Can I have some hugs and/or advice?
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| Posted 11/6/08 2:53 PM |
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carlowlou
loving my babies!
Member since 4/08 4594 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Can I have some hugs and/or advice?
all the ladies above have excellent advice so I'm just going to give you some:
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| Posted 11/6/08 2:53 PM |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Can I have some hugs and/or advice?
I'm sorry Katie. I think this is just a stressful time. I hope things get better soon.
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| Posted 11/6/08 4:38 PM |
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lkrpaul
Becoming a Big Brother!
Member since 5/07 2541 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: Can I have some hugs and/or advice?
Posted by BabySammie
Posted by Katie111806
I so wanted to enjoy these last couple of weeks as just husband and wife, and instead I feel alone, scared, and more upset than I think I have ever been because this is supposed to be such a special time.
Have you shared this with him?
Good question! Can you try talking WITHOUT getting onto specifics about family or whatever triggers the fights?
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| Posted 11/6/08 5:17 PM |
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Re: Can I have some hugs and/or advice?
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| Posted 11/6/08 5:20 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: Can I have some hugs and/or advice?
Honestly now that you are having a baby you and DH have got to put "your" family first and take care of you and that baby.
Family stuff is SO hard, believe me I can totally relate. I haven't spoken to my mother in 3 months and it's sad to say our home is a happier place since doing so.
FM me if you need to vent!
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| Posted 11/6/08 5:27 PM |
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kmac
Two under two!
Member since 5/07 3703 total posts
Name:
Kris
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Re: Can I have some hugs and/or advice?
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| Posted 11/6/08 5:37 PM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: Can I have some hugs and/or advice?
For me- having a child was the hardest thing my relationship has ever gone through.
My IL's (while very generous and good to us) expect alot from us. I cant even begin to tell you the cr@p my MIL pulled after my son was born, and the toll it took on my marriage.
I can promise you this, the day your child is born and you see your DH holding the new life you created; you will fall in love all over again.
At that point, promise yourself you will fight the difficulties and that you'll get through this.
Its never easy; No matter how well off you are there is never enough money. No matter how much help you have, your still always tired. No matter how early you try to get out of the house, you'll always be late.
Its a rollercoaster- but the best ride you'll ever get on
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| Posted 11/6/08 5:51 PM |
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TLC1018
I AM A BIG SISTER!!
Member since 8/07 3880 total posts
Name:
Tracy
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Re: Can I have some hugs and/or advice?
I'm sory you're going through a rough time, I definitely understand you wanting to enjoy the last few days with your husband. I have similar issues with my in-laws and it does get really hard sometimes, but the most important thing is to realize that you are your own family now and that is first and foremost.
Good luck and have a great delivery!!!
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| Posted 11/6/08 6:11 PM |
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jozieb0925
Double Trouble!
Member since 5/05 4358 total posts
Name:
Josie
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Re: Can I have some hugs and/or advice?
I'm sorry you are going through a rough time...
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| Posted 11/6/08 6:21 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Can I have some hugs and/or advice?
I think it's a very rough time and bumps like this are normal. I know you feel it's too stressful, but I do think some things just have to work their way out over time.
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| Posted 11/6/08 6:54 PM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Can I have some hugs and/or advice?
When you DH comes home tonight, open your heart and tell him you are scared and love him and just want to enjoy these last two weeks just the two of you. Let him know how much you care about HIM and how much you need him right now. Then go out for a special dinner just the two of you. DO not talk about money, your families or even the baby. Just talk like you used to before all this happened.
You need a reality break tonight and some hugs for each other.
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| Posted 11/6/08 7:00 PM |
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NoahsArkTummy
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/07 839 total posts
Name:
CAMILLE
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Re: Can I have some hugs and/or advice?
It's definately a stressful time. I thought it was just me but I always got the feeling it was the most amazing time in my life..and now im pregnant and realizing that between the bed rest ..the constant peeing...uncomfortable headaches and not being able to sleep definately take away from enjoying it..i feel guilty.....its finally starting to ease up now that we are starting to buy things and pick out furniture and bedding.....i am sure your DH is just as stressed as you are and just doesnt know how to handle it....the only stress we have really is his family also..as i've posted before....it hasn't gotten any better and now im dealing with having to ask his mother for a shower list because my moms planning my shower...i cant even have a surprise because she didn't know how to handle asking them......i know the issue won't go away but all i can do is pray that they will grow up and have a heart.....i mean who gives a pregnant girl on bedrest grief???? honestly....its sickening!
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| Posted 11/6/08 7:57 PM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: Can I have some hugs and/or advice?
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| Posted 11/6/08 8:01 PM |
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boobanick
GO YANKEES!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 4/07 1223 total posts
Name:
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Re: Can I have some hugs and/or advice?
Posted by Blissful
You need to start putting YOUR family first and foremost. YOUR family right now is YOU your DH and your This is all that should matter at this point in time. You need to take care of YOURSELF because an unhappy and unhealthy mom means an unhappy baby. I've started doing this and it has made MY life SOOOOoooo much better!
At this point, I would try and not discuss any more family issues. Tell your DH that your priority at this point in time is your impending family to be, nothing more, nothing less and focus on that.
ITA
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| Posted 11/7/08 12:09 AM |
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