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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
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Re: WWYD plus a MIL vent- Help (Long)
Posted by Stefanie
I'd be p1ssed.
I'd tell my dh, if you think she's coming with us to the sonogram, then I'm going alone. You want this to be a special time with the 2 of you.
Yeah I agree with this. Tell both parents this is something for you 2 alone. But then again im not big on an audiance for any dr appt.
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Posted 9/7/08 9:37 AM  |
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twinkletoes807
Mommy's Girls! ♥
Member since 11/07 10116 total posts
Name:
Gabi
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Re: WWYD plus a MIL vent- Help (Long)
I would insist to DH that no one is coming to the Level II. Period. I would not want anyone with DH and I- at all, so it was a no brainer for me. It's not like you invited your Mom and excluded his Mom right? Remind him that this is a private time for you and that you don't want a crowd.  Good luck!! 
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| Posted 9/7/08 9:44 AM |
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Donna
1 year already!!
Member since 5/05 3360 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: WWYD plus a MIL vent- Help (Long)
Posted by JennZ
Posted by Stefanie
I'd be p1ssed.
I'd tell my dh, if you think she's coming with us to the sonogram, then I'm going alone. You want this to be a special time with the 2 of you.
Yeah I agree with this. Tell both parents this is something for you 2 alone. But then again im not big on an audiance for any dr appt.
I agree, while I"m really close with my mom and mil to some extent all appts have just been me & DH and will continue to be - especially the level II, you get to see so much of the baby and if you decide to find out the sex I would think that would be a moment for just you & DH, not the family
good luck!!
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| Posted 9/7/08 9:51 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: WWYD plus a MIL vent- Help (Long)
Posted by twinkletoes807
I would insist to DH that no one is coming to the Level II. Period. I would not want anyone with DH and I- at all, so it was a no brainer for me. It's not like you invited your Mom and excluded his Mom right? Remind him that this is a private time for you and that you don't want a crowd. Good luck!!
She did originally have her mom coming, that's why I suggested NO ONE but her and DH. Even if her mom is not an issue, it makes it one if one can come and not the other.
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| Posted 9/7/08 10:14 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
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:)
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Re: WWYD plus a MIL vent- Help (Long)
Posted by hunnybunnyxoxo
Posted by Goobster
I hate to say this but I would reschedule to a day when he would NOT be aware and go alone. I am sorry but I just would not want my memory of my level 2 ruined in anyway. If your DH won't listen to you, that's the only thing you can do...sorry to say, that's just MO. 
omg!! i really wouldn't advise rescheduling a sono appt. without your dh knowing??!? that is cruel. i cant imagine my dh not coming to a sono appt.
the baby constantly grows and each time we have a sono we are so amazed!!
the level 2 sono has been our favorite appt. so far!! i mean, they are all favorites but here, the sono is more in depth and you see a lot more...
dh def. needs to be there. i know my husband would be crushed if he missed a sono appt. and would be sooooooooooooo angry with me if i went behind his back to reschedule an appt without him knowing... that is going way too far.
as i suggested, just have the mil pop in during the last 2 minutes...
Of course, ITA that the DH needs to be there. BUT if the DH being there means MIL would ALSO be there without Marie oking that, then priority goes to the PG lady who is the patient and that is Marie. Level 2 is a big sono and it's very important to be sane, be able to listen, not be disturbed, etc. And her MIL just doesn't sound like she can be any of those things.
IMO, having a baby is about a Dh and a wife, not the grandmothers. I personally think drs visits are best b/w couple only. That's why I think it sets up a couple for overinvolvement from one parent or another if you involve them too much, which likely leads to disaccord within the marriage. So DH and I steer clear of overinvolving either parent.
That's just my take, so if my Dh tried to push me into anything (mine never would, he agrees it's OUR baby, just for US to see now), I would easily take matters into my own hands b/c after all, I am the patient and my comfort and sanity are the most important things. That's the bottom line to me. JMO though
Message edited 9/7/2008 10:29:55 AM.
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| Posted 9/7/08 10:18 AM |
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ReiRei13
Life is Good!!
Member since 1/08 6460 total posts
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Re: WWYD plus a MIL vent- Help (Long)
Thanks for all the advice everyone. When Brian and I start to talk again, I am going to suggest that it just be us, and hopefully he agrees. Right now we are still not talking, and he's at work for the day. I'm still angry but now I'm starting to really get upset.
Message edited 9/7/2008 11:36:32 AM.
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| Posted 9/7/08 10:43 AM |
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Celt
~~~~~~~~~~
Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
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Re: WWYD plus a MIL vent- Help (Long)
Hey Marie, if you show Brian what actually happens at the Level 2, maybe that will help?
Ultrasound Anatomy Scan Level 2 Ultrasound
Details, details! This special ultrasound gives you a very specific glimpse of your growing baby.
What it screens for: The ultrasound anatomy scan, or level 2 ultrasound, is an amazingly interesting experience for parents-to-be. Your baby will be measured from crown to rump (and what a cute rump it is!), around her middle, around her head — and that's just for starters. The four chambers of the heart will be viewed, as well as the kidneys, bladder, stomach, brain, spine, and sex organs (be sure to tell your sonographer if you don't want to know what he or she sees — or doesn't see!).
Measurements are taken to make sure your baby is growing appropriately (and that his or her gestational age is still on target). A survey of the organs, including the umbilical cord, ensures that they are developing normally (or identifies any potential problems as soon as possible). The sonographer will also be looking at your amniotic fluid levels, the location of the placenta, and the fetal heart rate. Settle in to enjoy the show: The detailed level 2 scan can take 30 to 45 minutes (depending on how cooperative your little one wants to be during the photo shoot).
Here's the link: http://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/pregnancy-health/prenatal-testing/ultrasound-anatomy-two.aspx
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| Posted 9/7/08 11:07 AM |
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sweetie101
you make me smile :o)
Member since 5/08 4419 total posts
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Re: WWYD plus a MIL vent- Help (Long)
Well i never had a problem like your's but my brother wife is having a baby. and she invited my mom to her's everytime she just waited outside then went in for lthe last few mins. i went with her last time i went in the last few mins n seen the baby move
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| Posted 9/7/08 11:18 AM |
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ReiRei13
Life is Good!!
Member since 1/08 6460 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD plus a MIL vent- Help (Long)
Posted by colette
Hey Marie, if you show Brian what actually happens at the Level 2, maybe that will help?
Ultrasound Anatomy Scan Level 2 Ultrasound
Details, details! This special ultrasound gives you a very specific glimpse of your growing baby.
What it screens for: The ultrasound anatomy scan, or level 2 ultrasound, is an amazingly interesting experience for parents-to-be. Your baby will be measured from crown to rump (and what a cute rump it is!), around her middle, around her head — and that's just for starters. The four chambers of the heart will be viewed, as well as the kidneys, bladder, stomach, brain, spine, and sex organs (be sure to tell your sonographer if you don't want to know what he or she sees — or doesn't see!).
Measurements are taken to make sure your baby is growing appropriately (and that his or her gestational age is still on target). A survey of the organs, including the umbilical cord, ensures that they are developing normally (or identifies any potential problems as soon as possible). The sonographer will also be looking at your amniotic fluid levels, the location of the placenta, and the fetal heart rate. Settle in to enjoy the show: The detailed level 2 scan can take 30 to 45 minutes (depending on how cooperative your little one wants to be during the photo shoot).
Here's the link: http://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/pregnancy-health/prenatal-testing/ultrasound-anatomy-two.aspx
Thanks Colette
Message edited 9/7/2008 11:37:35 AM.
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| Posted 9/7/08 11:37 AM |
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Candy Girl
Candy girl- you are so sweet!
Member since 11/07 6349 total posts
Name:
erin
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Re: WWYD plus a MIL vent- Help (Long)
Are two "guests" even allowed in the sono room? Won't that be a little too tight? Maybe you can use that as an excuse. Say you called and they said only one visitor. Plus, the Level II is kind of long and mine ended up with an internal. I wouldn't have wanted anyone but DH there with me.
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| Posted 9/7/08 11:39 AM |
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hunnybunnyxoxo
this is what it's all about
Member since 11/07 3321 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: WWYD plus a MIL vent- Help (Long)
well, hopefully it wont become a huge issue...
have her come to the next sonogram.
like maybe when you are in your 3rd trimester..
i am not sure how many sonograms you get in total but i know my mom went to my sister in law's sonogram appt. sometime late in the 3rd trimester...
good luck!!
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| Posted 9/7/08 12:58 PM |
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Serendipity
Summer!
Member since 4/07 7631 total posts
Name:
PrayingWishingHopingALOT
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Re: WWYD plus a MIL vent- Help (Long)
Posted by Goobster
I hate to say this but I would reschedule to a day when he would NOT be aware and go alone. I am sorry but I just would not want my memory of my level 2 ruined in anyway. If your DH won't listen to you, that's the only thing you can do...sorry to say, that's just MO.
Yea, I was going to say the same thing! It would be completely wrong to have her there and especially since you DO NOT want her there! It's really not her place.
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| Posted 9/7/08 1:59 PM |
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angnick
Life is So Wonderful!
Member since 8/06 6663 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Re: WWYD plus a MIL vent- Help (Long)
You should have a sit down with your husband and explain that you want your sonograms, especially your 20 week to be one shared just between the two of you with no one there- especially MIL.
good luck!
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| Posted 9/7/08 5:10 PM |
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MrsRivera
2 under 2...whew!!
Member since 2/07 9876 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: WWYD plus a MIL vent- Help (Long)
Marie, I'm so sorry you're going through this.  What a shame that such a joyful thing is being ruined by stress (it DOES sound like wedding planning all over again, at least for me!).
I will say this: I was 100% sold that DH didn't have any leverage in bringing his mom to the appointment...and then I saw that YOUR mom has been to 2 of them. To me, that gives you a little less room for complaint, because DH must want his mom to experience the same thing that your mom has gotten to...twice.
HOWEVER, this is YOUR body and YOU get to decide who YOU are comfortable having in that room. Period, end of story. Your DH may disagree with him, but tell him that he doesn't have a say here. As one of the other posters said, sometimes part of the Level II winds up having to be internal, and she'd have to leave the room anyway.
Good luck--and be strong. Put your foot down!
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| Posted 9/7/08 5:32 PM |
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ReiRei13
Life is Good!!
Member since 1/08 6460 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD plus a MIL vent- Help (Long)
Posted by MrsRivera
I will say this: I was 100% sold that DH didn't have any leverage in bringing his mom to the appointment...and then I saw that YOUR mom has been to 2 of them. To me, that gives you a little less room for complaint, because DH must want his mom to experience the same thing that your mom has gotten to...twice.
!
Yes my mom has been to my 2 previous sonos, BUT my very 1st one Brian wasn't able to attend so it was just me and my mom. For my 2nd one, we were unsure if he'd be able to make it, so again my mom attended just in case- and that was ALL Brians idea!!
I do understand how Brian would want his Mom to attend BUT he also knows how she acts and behaves. Just a few weeks ago we all attended a christening together and when we left all he could say is what an embarrassment she was to us as well as to herself! And then a week later he magically forgets how she is. Its so frustrating!!
I'm hoping that when we do start talking again that we can agree to have it be JUST US! We'll see!
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| Posted 9/7/08 6:23 PM |
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