Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

I think motherhood is beautiful in all forms. We all received our blessings in different ways, we feed them in different ways and we clothe them in different ways. But one thing is for sure, we all love our children and we do what's best. People will always have opinions.

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Posted by ME75

Posted by juanvi

Posted by ME75



I say:

"Stay out of my friggin bra!"

(This post was brought to you by someone who is planning on giving BFing the old college try but ain't killing herself if it doesn't work out)

see -i know you are kidding around and i think it is funny so i am not attacking in any way-but this is a very prevalent attitude people have towards BFing moms and it can be hurtful. not that you are doing this but so many other people comment on occasion that they think BFing is too sexually connected or just "gross". you cannot win i think whether you FF or BF
i think it is great you are even considering BFing and i
think it's a great attitude to say i'll try but not put all the importance in the world on it if it doesn't work out!

Not so sure she made me connect Bfing with sex or being gross by saying what she said. I felt like she said...It's her business and that's it.

Message edited 5/29/2008 10:48:08 PM.

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Of course anyone is welcome to "suggest" what is best for your child. But for anyone to shove their opinions down someone's throat is just wrong and unfair. Just like asking someone when they are planning to start a family - how do you not know the couple is struggling to achieve a pregnancy? It is just as inconsiderate to attempt to make any mother feel guilty for not breastfeeding their child when you have no idea WHY they aren't.

It is no one's business whether or not I tried and succeeded or failed. Or maybe there were other reasons it did not work. Anyone who chooses not to BF should not have to answer to people, rather discuss any options with their pediatrician (even the lactation nurses in the hosptials are really rough). But if someone on LIF chooses not to BF and is looking for support, I am right there with my support. I think it is wonderful if you choose to BF your DC - just as equally wonderful if you choose to FF your DC. Giving love to my child is what is important. And I do not react well to anyone suggesting that they know what is best on how we raise DD.

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Thank You for posting this! DS is 16 months old and sometimes I still feel guilty for not being able to BF.
I thought it was going to be a piece of cake. It wasn't. I was able to do it for about a month. The milk was not coming in fast enough.
DH kept telling me "Hon. You tried." I still felt like I failed.

DS was pretty much formula fed and is quite a happy child.

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

jmho...
When I had my son I was interogated by the le leche league.
being myson was my first...I listened...
they said no water---pacifier---absolutely nothing.
Well...guess what? noteveryones milk comes in at the same time.
By the time they caught it he was so sick he was on machines and sunken in and the same signs as a drug withdrawal baby...
So what should have been a happy time wastime spent in ICU>
One time---no joke---the le lechewoman actully walked in whileI was showering and started to ream meabout breast feeding..I had only a washcloth over my crotch...
My dd---I pumped and only for a bit---I had a one year oldrunning around and couldn't eat right...
Im myopinion unless u are going toeat the best of everything every darn day its not goodanyhow...
the twins---never produced anything more then a tsp.
Whether its breast feeding....vaccinations...circumcisions noone knows it all.
My son as soon As I fed him thrived on formulaand reached all his milestones months before he was soppose to, so i dk how much I put into the study about breast fed babies are smarter.
I think it starts in pregnancy-how u take care of yourself---if u read and sing and socialize with your kid and in the end its all good...
there is no completeright or wrong either way

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

You made me feel so much better! I formula fed and have a very happy and healthy little boy!

I am tired of people making me feel bad about this very personal decision!

Thanks

I just want the judgment to stop not just with this, but with comments about walking, like SMDL said the other day, etc. No one should judge another mom.

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

My milk never comes in. It broke my heart that I could not breast feed. 2 pregnancies and both had the same result. I seriously think the fact that I couldn't and had put so much pressure on myself to breast feed is what started my PPD. I felt like a failure because I had to have a c-section and then I felt like a failure because I was large busted and couldn't breast feed.

Society puts way too much pressure on us to do it. While the benefits can't be denied, most of us in our 20s and 30s are formula babies and we are ok. I just think people need to think about the pressure they put on others whether they choose to breast feed or not.

To all the moms that EBF I I know that it's difficult and all on you but please don't condemn those of us who are not.

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Posted by Gatsbygirl



You made me feel so much better! I formula fed and have a very happy and healthy little boy!

I am tired of people making me feel bad about this very personal decision!

Thanks

I just want the judgment to stop not just with this, but with comments about walking, like SMDL said the other day, etc. No one should judge another mom.

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Posted by lastchance1222

Posted by Gatsbygirl



You made me feel so much better! I formula fed and have a very happy and healthy little boy!

I am tired of people making me feel bad about this very personal decision!

Thanks

I just want the judgment to stop not just with this, but with comments about walking, like SMDL said the other day, etc. No one should judge another mom.

I didn't see a post about walking...but I will say...my dd never crawled--she just got upand walked at10 months...
ds---14months!
the twins---just shy of one year---every baby is different and allmilestones are different---all of these things are guidelines---not written in stone

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Posted by smdl

Posted by lastchance1222

Posted by Gatsbygirl



You made me feel so much better! I formula fed and have a very happy and healthy little boy!

I am tired of people making me feel bad about this very personal decision!

Thanks

I just want the judgment to stop not just with this, but with comments about walking, like SMDL said the other day, etc. No one should judge another mom.

I didn't see a post about walking...but I will say...my dd never crawled--she just got upand walked at10 months...
ds---14months!
the twins---just shy of one year---every baby is different and allmilestones are different---all of these things are guidelines---not written in stone

It was my post. The nurse at my dr's office made a comment that DS was not walking yet at 11 month. She made sure to tell me HER kids walked at 10 months.

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Good post. I have been on all sides. I could NOT Bf. I was severly anemic, and sick from 9 months of IV medications from throwing up. I had almost no vitamins left in my body, my milk was useless, nor did it ever come in anyway, I convinced myself that I didnt want to BF , it was a coping mechanism.

I see so many BF posts now and wish I had the OPTION, when people like my Ped assume im BF'ing and Im not and have to or feel I have to EXPLAIN all my reasons why it was not even an option to me, it upsets me , hurts and irritates me.

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

it makes me sad to think so many of you guys tried and for different reasons weren't able to BF.

I imagine that does put you in a horrible position....not wanting to get into the why's and what happened with prying strangers.

I hear every confession in the book as to why people weren't able to BF as though they are confessing to a priest.

I don't tell anyone IRL that I BF. I can't handle the critism. I don't like them looking at Josh like he is a little t itty boy.

I will admit though, I am brainwashed into thinking its the best and I do push my sisters to try it when their time comes. That only comes from me having to believe in it in order to keep it up. But I have never said anything to a non-BFer.

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

I tried to BF with DD#2 and after 3 mnths my milk went away so ITA with you !!

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Honestly I tried it didn't work out and I don't feel bad about not BF'ing.....at all. How someone chooses to feed their child is their decision. As long as the child is getting fed I don't see the big deal.

Personally I believe each child is different. I have cousins who breast fed their kids and they were constantly sick...then I have relatives and friends who strictly formula fed and their babies hardly ever get sick. Each child is different.

I give credit to breastfeeding mothers but that doesn't mean their children are any happier or healthier than formula fed children

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

I felt guilty for a tiny while until I realized how great he was doing on formula.

If a child is thriving and doing well and the mom is happy there should be no guilt involved.

The guilt is from the endless push out there to BF. Like you are doing a disservice to your child if you don't.

Good lord. I mean here we are, moms that do everything for their kids well being. We obsess over every tiny thing, make sure they are healthy, happy, stimulated etc...

I understand 100% the guilt put on moms for not breastfeeding....but what is funny is that although many moms start off breastfeeding, that percentage severely drops after a short time. If it were easy and wonderful for everyone we'd all do it. I believe that over 50% of moms formula feed!! We shouldn't have half of all moms out there beating themselves up for giving their kids alterative nutrition to breastmilk!! Our kids are great and smart and healthy so who the F cares??? LOL!! That is my attitude about it.

It's funny...with all going on with my son, the way he was fed is now last on my mind.

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Wow. I'm sorry you have so much resentment when it comes to breastfeeding. But, as mothers, we get it from all sides. As others have posted, breastfeeding mothers are often alientated and made to feel bad if we dare feed our children around other people or if we dare continue to breastfeed beyond 6 months.

I think the hype about breastfeeding comes from the fact that our society looked down on it for so long. Now, the benefits have been established, there is a push to make it more mainstream. It may seem overblown at times, but I think as breastfeeding becomes more mainstream, the hype will subside, because there will be less of a need to educate people about it.

Honestly, I don't understand why anyone would feel bad for using formula. That's your parenting choice and as long as you feel good and cofident about it, why would you care what anyone else thinks?

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

I agree with you totally.

And it goes BEYOND breastfeeding too. Mom's are often made to feel like cr*p over a variety of things on a daily basis. Look at the co-sleeping thing.. I had a tinge of guilt reading that it is now considered 'dangerous' and that government officials would be talking about how dangerous it is. And then seeing people say they are opposed to it makes me feel like it is something tantamount to beating your child. And I know that those folks probably meant opposed for themselves - but the word itself just rubbed me wrong. I mean I am opposed to slavery, apartheid, child abuse, puppy mills, etc..

I did BF - but I was told it was 'nasty' and 'gross' by my IL's. I was also chastized and got eye rolls over my decision to co-sleep. I got told I was 'over the top' and 'ridiculous' because I made my own baby food. And it continues to this day - I don't feed them enough, I feed them too much, I don't punish them enough, I punish them incorrectly, I don't have them in enough out of school programs, they get too many/too few play dates, their birthday parties are too big, their hair is too long/short.. blah blah blah...

The fact is most moms (and certainly all the mothers I have seen on here) do our absolute best to do the right things for our children. What's best for my kid might not be what you feel is best for yours - but that isn't a reason to assume that means I am uneducated, uninformed or just plain stupid!

We do what's best and what works for our families. I am happy to share my experiences and what worked for us. But I would never get insulted or upset if someone couldn't do or chose not to do things the way I did/do.

ETA: Wow... that got long winded. Sorry.

Message edited 5/30/2008 7:39:42 AM.

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)

Woohoo!!!!!!!!!