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bayla
Love my two kiddos :)
Member since 8/06 7178 total posts
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
its interesting how the children get blamed but not the parents, i have two nephews, the 3 1/2 yr old is a doll and loves everyone, the 2.3 yr old is also cute but does not want anyone but his mom or dad and its b/c my SIL made him that way and is the first to admit she babies him b/c he is her last one and she said she cant cut the cord however, now he never wants to be near anyone, not his grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc just his mom and dad and she loves it and lets us know she is thrilled that he is so dependent on her (since the older one is so independent- i think that bothers her hence why she made the little one needed). I don't blame him at all though, he's just a baby and eventually will grow out of it and be more social
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Posted 6/26/07 10:50 PM  |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Posted by bayla
its interesting how the children get blamed but not the parents, i have two nephews, the 3 1/2 yr old is a doll and loves everyone, the 2.3 yr old is also cute but does not want anyone but his mom or dad and its b/c my SIL made him that way and is the first to admit she babies him b/c he is her last one and she said she cant cut the cord however, now he never wants to be near anyone, not his grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc just his mom and dad and she loves it and lets us know she is thrilled that he is so dependent on her (since the older one is so independent- i think that bothers her hence why she made the little one needed). I don't blame him at all though, he's just a baby and eventually will grow out of it and be more social
Your SIL created this situation, but I didn't do anything different with my son than I did with my daughter and she has severe stranger anxiety while my son will go to anyone. Sometimes it's just the kid's personality, they are all different, just like adults.
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| Posted 6/26/07 10:57 PM |
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bayla
Love my two kiddos :)
Member since 8/06 7178 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Posted by CathyB
Posted by bayla
its interesting how the children get blamed but not the parents, i have two nephews, the 3 1/2 yr old is a doll and loves everyone, the 2.3 yr old is also cute but does not want anyone but his mom or dad and its b/c my SIL made him that way and is the first to admit she babies him b/c he is her last one and she said she cant cut the cord however, now he never wants to be near anyone, not his grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc just his mom and dad and she loves it and lets us know she is thrilled that he is so dependent on her (since the older one is so independent- i think that bothers her hence why she made the little one needed). I don't blame him at all though, he's just a baby and eventually will grow out of it and be more social
Your SIL created this situation, but I didn't do anything different with my son than I did with my daughter and she has severe stranger anxiety while my son will go to anyone. Sometimes it's just the kid's personality, they are all different, just like adults.
absolutely, in this case my SIL def created this situation, its not every child with seperation anxiety, sometimes it is just their little personalities (i work with preschoolers so i def see this a lot) i was just using the example of my SIL b/c in that case, i feel she totally influences his behavior.
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| Posted 6/26/07 10:59 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Posted by bayla
absolutely, in this case my SIL def created this situation, its not every child with seperation anxiety, sometimes it is just their little personalities (i work with preschoolers so i def see this a lot) i was just using the example of my SIL b/c in that case, i feel she totally influences his behavior.
I gotcha. Just touched a nerve since I'm going through something very similar with my FIL and it's hurtful and insulting to me.
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| Posted 6/26/07 11:04 PM |
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bayla
Love my two kiddos :)
Member since 8/06 7178 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Posted by CathyB
Posted by bayla
absolutely, in this case my SIL def created this situation, its not every child with seperation anxiety, sometimes it is just their little personalities (i work with preschoolers so i def see this a lot) i was just using the example of my SIL b/c in that case, i feel she totally influences his behavior.
I gotcha. Just touched a nerve since I'm going through something very similar with my FIL and it's hurtful and insulting to me.
totally understand  i was just talking about how my SIL was, and that their are other parents like that out there, just like there are children who just suffer from separation anxiety and if thats the case, then the adults need to back off and give them room/space
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| Posted 6/26/07 11:06 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
I'm the last born, AND the only girl in the family, and I"ll tell you, I'm about as far from spoiled as you get. In fact, the only one in our family that is spoiled to pieces is my brother, the middle child.
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| Posted 6/27/07 7:46 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Posted by kimchee
I have 7 nieces and nephews and honestly can't open a trust fund for each of them, so I just wanted to narrow down to the ones I care the most about. Just needed a way to justify to my sister that I will only open a trust fund for the first two 'cus they are my favorite nieces and I really don't have the money to open one for all 7. :(
The ones you care the most about?!  It's no wonder your neice is having problems approaching you - I'm SURE she can sense the hostility if all of us can sense it just by your posts. She's three for god's sake - she's just starting to explore her boundaries and finding her own little personality, and some of that, for some children, requires encountering a few bumps in the road. More often than not, you CANNOT control this behaviour - it's just all part of their inherent personality. You have to learn to not take it so personally, and start behaving like the adult in this situation instead of playing these passive aggressive games with a toddler.
If I were your sister, I would be beyond offended if you told me that you were only opening a trust for 2 of my children because you "care about them more". Not to mention what kind of damage this will do to your relationship with your other neices and nephews down the road. If you can't afford to open something for all, then don't do it at all, or take the amount you DO have and spread it evenly amongst the seven.
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| Posted 6/27/07 7:54 AM |
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Arieschick29
aries+cancer= pisces&gemini
Member since 3/06 4268 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
My BIL is the last born in his family (with my DH being the oldest) and if anything he is the least sucessful of all the brothers
He does get more attention because of it b/c IL's are trying to get him to snap out of it and make something of himself
As for your reasoning- I'm not a parent or an aunt yet but I think its horrible that you would pick and choose which neices and nephews to give trust funds too
Split the money between all the kids and give them sizeable bonds.....they will accrue more $ over time and its not showing how unloving you are towards some
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| Posted 6/27/07 8:32 AM |
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Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!
Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Posted by PrincessP
Reality is...this post has nothing to do with the topic posted. It has to do with what you can or can not afford. If you cant afford for everyone then dont do it for anyone. I would absolutely turn down your offer if it were for 2 out of 3 children.
ITA
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| Posted 6/27/07 8:34 AM |
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paulandles912
My children are a blessing!
Member since 5/05 2598 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Like Beth, I am the last born and only girl and I am far from spoiled.
I find your attitude toward your little 3 year old niece appalling.
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| Posted 6/27/07 10:33 AM |
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WoodIAm
My Boys!
Member since 5/05 5498 total posts
Name:
JoAnne
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Posted by Holly
I would definitely turn down my siblings offer of a trust fund if he was not doing for all 3 of my kids...
First you said you are not putting one out for her because she is spoiled, then you said you cannot afford it...
I think you are being very unfair
I agree and I'm finding it very hard to believe anyone would act this way towards a 3 year old. You sound like the spoiled one!
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| Posted 6/27/07 10:42 AM |
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snuggleupagus
I'm a rolling machine.
Member since 9/06 2064 total posts
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Posted by anna
I agree with the majority vote here. Not only will the girl be crushed when she gets older, but your own sister will most likely be hurt.
Her daughter is more attached to her than her others, so obviously she (your sister) has a special bond with her little one, and you excluding her from a special gift is NOT something very nice..
So as nice as a gift that you set out to give to your favorites, your actually going to cause more tension than happiness....
I agree with this. Both of my aunt's children were extremely attached to my aunt to the point that they acted just as you described your 3 year old neice. I never took it to heart or felt slighted...nor did I assume it was because they were spoiled. My aunt was very poor when she had her first child so he wasn't spoiled for sure...her kids are just really attached to her. Even at 14, her son is still really close to her.
I would have a fit if you wanted to open up a trust for some of my kids (and not all)...I would refuse the money. If you can afford a total amount for the 2, you can take that total amount and split it 3 ways, if not, you probably need it more than my kids will. Considering this is family, I would even be a little upset you would do it JUST for the one child who is your godchild.
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| Posted 6/27/07 10:58 AM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
"I ask you though, if your sister or brother offer to open a trust fund for the first 2 and not the 3rd would you honestly turn her down completely 'cus she can't afford to open one for ALL your kids?
To me that's like refusing a gift 'cus it's not the one you want. "
If you had stated from the get-go that you could only afford to get 2/3 trust funds I would say maybe this girls doing no harm and I would suggest like others you choose smaller amounts and give to all 3. BUT instead you Blurted out that you are not giving her the fund bc she is spoiled etc... SO for me the above quoted paragraph nonsese is BS.
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| Posted 6/27/07 12:45 PM |
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LIMOMx2
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Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Posted by PrincessP
Reality is...this post has nothing to do with the topic posted. It has to do with what you can or can not afford. If you cant afford for everyone then dont do it for anyone. I would absolutely turn down your offer if it were for 2 out of 3 children.
ITA
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| Posted 6/27/07 12:47 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Posted by prncss
Don't be so spiteful, she's a child! Sheesh! Maybe she senses your negative attitude towards her?
I agree 100%
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| Posted 6/27/07 12:51 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Why Are So Many Last-Born So Spoiled?
Posted by kimchee
I ask you though, if your sister or brother offer to open a trust fund for the first 2 and not the 3rd would you honestly turn her down completely 'cus she can't afford to open one for ALL your kids?
I absolutely would turn it down and honestly, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, that is so immature
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| Posted 6/27/07 12:53 PM |
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