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babydreaming
LIF Adult
Member since 3/07 1130 total posts
Name:
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WWYD - Heartbroken for another mom UPDATE
So I walked in with a coworker this am and I am just heartbroken. She is a single mom with a 2 1/2 mth old, dealing with not being able to pay her mortgage, not really getting support from the father (He lives out of state and she found out he had another baby with another woman 2 weeks before her's was born), and trying to do everything on her own. She also is living paycheck to paycheck. She really doesn't have many people or family to depend on. She needed someone to vent to and I didn't mind. She sat in my office and was in tears. In any case, she said she didn't mind hand me downs- which I can get plenty of for her (I am getting some more from my sister and 2 friends).
What worried me was that she is so stressed she isn't producing any milk. She said to me that she is giving watered down Carnation milk with cereal for the baby. It broke my heart. I called DH and we decided that we are going to buy some formula for her. I wasn't sure what to do - I have used the Target brand for my son but it caused too much gas for him. Should I just buy her Enfamil or the Target brand (getting her more for the money)? If I had any coupons I would giv ethem to her - but I don't have any left. What else can I do? She is a good person going through a rough time.....
10/21 pm update: First of all - I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to respond till now. Work was insane today!
I want to thank all of your for your generous offers - both my FM and posts. I knew all of you were generous but it always overwhelms me. I should have said that she and I live in NJ. In regards to the suggestion for WIC, she already tried and they told her she makes more than the mim requirement.....she missed it by 5K.  I suggested the food pantry to her and she said she would try - she said she is willing to try anything. She just tried formula for the first time yesterday and said that the baby did okay on it. She was going to have the babysitter try again today. I'm not sure about getting the formula to me - its too much to ask all of you to mail it to me. I will accept the offers for coupons (if you don't mind) and give it to her. I didn't tell her I posted this so I can tell her they are from some friends  I will send all FM's. And the clothes - I went through mine and got a bunch and talked to another coworker, a girlfriend and my sister. I think we should have her covered for 3-6 and 6-9 mths in boys clothes. I also got her a mix of Enfamil and Target formula today so she can try both.
If I have learned anything today, I will not take for granted how lucky DH and I are........thanks again!
Message edited 10/21/2008 8:10:45 PM.
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Posted 10/21/08 9:56 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
My4GirlsMyLife
My 4 girlies
Member since 2/08 9702 total posts
Name:
Valerie
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Re: WWYD - Heartbroken for another mom
did she try to apply for WIC?
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| Posted 10/21/08 9:59 AM |
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want2beamom
Love my boys soooo much!!!
Member since 8/06 10164 total posts
Name:
True love doesn't end with happily ever after...
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Re: WWYD - Heartbroken for another mom
I think it is very generous of you to buy formula. I would go with the target brand. All babies are different, and hopefully the baby will respond well to it.
Could you put up a collection at work or something to try to help her?
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| Posted 10/21/08 9:59 AM |
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Mkr09
.....
Member since 5/05 7550 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: WWYD - Heartbroken for another mom
I have a couple of $5 Similac checks that I have gotten from some generous girls on here, but I'm sure she needs them more than me....if you FM me your address I can send them to you and you can give them to her.
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| Posted 10/21/08 9:59 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: WWYD - Heartbroken for another mom
That is so sweet of you. I would say go for the target brand formula 
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| Posted 10/21/08 10:00 AM |
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littlejoy06
Love
Member since 3/07 6944 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - Heartbroken for another mom
 I'm not sure about the formula (the kind), but PLEASE let me know what I can do. FM me if you need ANYTHING!!!
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| Posted 10/21/08 10:02 AM |
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stayandjohn
Our life is complete
Member since 5/05 5909 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: WWYD - Heartbroken for another mom
I have a new container of similac advance w/ iron. I also have $12 in good start coupons and $6 coups for enfamial if you want them
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| Posted 10/21/08 10:03 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - Heartbroken for another mom
I would point her towards a church or a social services agency. While it's admirable tht you're helping her, I suspect what will make her feel better is if she gets the resources to help herself out.
Off the top of my head, she should apply for
WIC
LIPA has a discount program:http://www.lipower.org/residential/financial/
and she should head to family court. It's not his choice to pay child support. It's her choice not to have it enforced. I'm sure there are some women on here who can walk her through the process. I understand from my friend it's fairly easy.
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| Posted 10/21/08 10:06 AM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: WWYD - Heartbroken for another mom
I have some baby food and cereals I could pass on to her. Also tell her to try her local church. My mom volunteers at her church and they have a pantry open to anyone, with baby formula, food, etc. She doesn't have to be a parishoner. My mother says it is a shame that more people don't use these services as they are available to anyone in need.
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| Posted 10/21/08 10:07 AM |
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dooodles
When you wish upon a star
Member since 5/05 11997 total posts
Name:
Because 2 people fell in love
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Re: WWYD - Heartbroken for another mom
Has she given the baby formula yet? And then is it safe to give Target brand and then Similac at the same time (just wondering b/c my pediatrician did not want us doing that).
I have some Target brand that we never used which you are more than welcome to if that is what she wants.
Let me know
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| Posted 10/21/08 10:08 AM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14007 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - Heartbroken for another mom
Posted by karacg
I have some baby food and cereals I could pass on to her. Also tell her to try her local church. My mom volunteers at her church and they have a pantry open to anyone, with baby formula, food, etc. She doesn't have to be a parishoner. My mother says it is a shame that more people don't use these services as they are available to anyone in need.
She may also want to talk to her ped. They get TONS of samples and should be able to give her some.
She should also look into WIC.
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| Posted 10/21/08 10:08 AM |
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KristinasMama
How did she turn 2 so quickly?
Member since 10/07 8257 total posts
Name:
Blessed Mama of Kristina Elena
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Re: WWYD - Heartbroken for another mom
Tell her to immediately go to WIC... they will provide enough milk for her to have for the month, and on top of that, since she is breastfeeding, they will give her milk, cheese, eggs, juice, cereal, fresh produce, beans or peanut butter for her to have in the house to eat....
I think I may be overstocked on some formula - I get the Enfamil Gentlease from WIC... can I give you some cans?
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| Posted 10/21/08 10:09 AM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: WWYD - Heartbroken for another mom
That's what my mom had to give me and my sister when we were infants 
I agree that she should apply for WIC. As far as the formula goes, I would get the Target brand. They sell a Gentle formula (like Gentlease) and it is identical to the name brands.
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| Posted 10/21/08 10:17 AM |
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Ali1
Mommy
Member since 8/05 3116 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - Heartbroken for another mom
If you can give me an address to send stuff too, I have I think 2-3 cans of enfamil powder formula downstairs that I never used and are still good. I can send them to her.
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| Posted 10/21/08 10:29 AM |
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DmarieK
My loves!!
Member since 1/06 9203 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - Heartbroken for another mom
I have a bunch of formula sitting here that I would love to get rid of.
2 cans of Nutrimagen...1 is open
1 can of Isolmil Advance
1 can of Similac advance
1 RTF Similac Advance
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| Posted 10/21/08 11:08 AM |
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LadyH
April Baby Girl is Here!
Member since 12/07 1077 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - Heartbroken for another mom
FM and a bump for the afternoon crowd
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| Posted 10/21/08 3:52 PM |
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BigB
C & J are 10!
Member since 6/05 5914 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: WWYD - Heartbroken for another mom
I have 4 cans of similac and an hardly used open LARGE (costco size) can of Enfamil LIPIL. I think I may have some left over checks. I will gladly mail them to you!
She really should apply for WIC though!
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| Posted 10/21/08 4:01 PM |
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4monkeys
boys will be boys =)
Member since 9/05 7205 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: WWYD - Heartbroken for another mom
where does she live? Im sure I have some baby items I can pass on to her.
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| Posted 10/21/08 4:52 PM |
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Superkat
More a stranger than a friend
Member since 5/06 9730 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: WWYD - Heartbroken for another mom
I have some similac and enfamil that I can send over to you, if you want. I also have coupon checks for enfamil, if she wants them. FM me with an address and I will do what I can to help.
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| Posted 10/21/08 5:05 PM |
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KateDevine
*
Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - Heartbroken for another mom
What else does she need? Does she have a boy or a girl? I have stuff here
The other girls gave great advice about going to a food pantry and applying for WIC
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| Posted 10/21/08 5:07 PM |
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beachgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 7967 total posts
Name:
sara
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Re: WWYD - Heartbroken for another mom
I just got two $5 off coupons for Enfamil at Walbaums - if there is one near here then I would love to mail them to her or to you whatever works. Does she have a boy or a girl? to you for helping her out.
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| Posted 10/21/08 7:07 PM |
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justthe4ofus
I hate hypocrites!!!!!
Member since 5/05 6905 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - Heartbroken for another mom
I have a $5 check Enfamil check that expires soon, its your if you want it, let me know.
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| Posted 10/21/08 7:25 PM |
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babydreaming
LIF Adult
Member since 3/07 1130 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - Heartbroken for another mom UPDATE
Posted by want2beamom
I think it is very generous of you to buy formula. I would go with the target brand. All babies are different, and hopefully the baby will respond well to it.
Could you put up a collection at work or something to try to help her?
The hard part is her mom works in our office also. I suggested asking her mom for help and she said that her mom did not know her situation with the bf and financially. She can't ask her mom for financial help cause she is going through her own thing. I have known her mom for years and if I suggested a collection, I think her mom would get mad.....and I don't want to get involved with family business.
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| Posted 10/21/08 8:14 PM |
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babydreaming
LIF Adult
Member since 3/07 1130 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - Heartbroken for another mom UPDATE
Posted by shamrock124
She may also want to talk to her ped. They get TONS of samples and should be able to give her some.
She should also look into WIC.
GREAT IDEA - I will pass this one on...
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| Posted 10/21/08 8:19 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - Heartbroken for another mom UPDATE
Maybe we can do a chain instead of mail. I go into the city every day - if there is someone near you that commutes in, we can meet up.
Message edited 10/21/2008 9:15:55 PM.
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| Posted 10/21/08 9:15 PM |
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