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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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UGH - WWYD (need quick answer please) Mom/MIL issue
Ryan is enrolled in daycare full-time but goes 3-4 days a wk with DH's rotating schedule. This week, DH works M-Fri and I couldn't take a day so I was a little upset to have him in all week. I told my mom and she said she'd take him tomorrow (off for the holiday). DH's parents were supposed to be away - now they're not leaving til Friday.
So, Tuesday 9AM DH calls and says his moms wants Ryan (she just got back from being in the UK for a month). I say, "too late, he's at daycare, I'm on the train - these things need to be planned"  So he tells his mom and she offers to take him today - fine. His dad picks him up this morning and they have the day together.
So, I had called my mom on Tuesday and said, "IF you have something to do Thursday, don't feel bad if you can't take Ryan b/c he won't be in daycare 5 days anymore", she says she wants to think about.
DH calls now, he is picking up Ryan and says his parents offer to take Ryan again tomorrow - I said I still didn't know what my mom was doing.
So, I call her and she says, "he can go to daycare - I have things to do with your sister (age 3)". So, I just said, "OH, ok". I guess a little hurt that she didn't jump at the chance to have him since she'll be away this weekend so it'll be a couple of wks before she sees him if she doesn't have him tomorrow. I said, "actually, no - DH's parents will take him". She then asks if I'm mad. I tell her I'm not mad, but a little taken back she didn't want him. Then she gets all worked up that I trapped her and she'll come get him tomorrow - and is now insisting she's taking him.
So... W T F? I know she has other things to do - which she now says she'll drop. DH's parents have nothing to do but stare at him. But now my mom is mad that I seemed mad (but I wasn't mad, just taken back).
WWYD?
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Posted 10/8/08 5:07 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: UGH - WWYD (need quick answer please) Mom/MIL issue
I would just tell her that you know she wants him. You are not mad, But she has things to do so to leave to DS going to the ILs. She can set up a time when she comes back to get him and when things are a bit less hectic. She just needs her time to get ready so she should focus on that. Again, she can have him when she comes back.
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| Posted 10/8/08 5:15 PM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: UGH - WWYD (need quick answer please) Mom/MIL issue
Posted by smdl
I would just tell her that you know she wants him. You are not mad, But she has things to do so to leave to DS going to the ILs. She can set up a time when she comes back to get him and when things are a bit less hectic. She just needs her time to get ready so she should focus on that. Again, she can have him when she comes back.
Ok, so as of now my mom is insisting on showing up at my door in the morning to get him (which is another issue since I couldn't hook up the carseat if I tried and she'll want to use one of my sister's old ones but I'm not comfortable with that).
Your vote is let my ILs take him?
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| Posted 10/8/08 5:17 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: UGH - WWYD (need quick answer please) Mom/MIL issue
Posted by SweetCaroline
Posted by smdl
I would just tell her that you know she wants him. You are not mad, But she has things to do so to leave to DS going to the ILs. She can set up a time when she comes back to get him and when things are a bit less hectic. She just needs her time to get ready so she should focus on that. Again, she can have him when she comes back.
Ok, so as of now my mom is insisting on showing up at my door in the morning to get him (which is another issue since I couldn't hook up the carseat if I tried and she'll want to use one of my sister's old ones but I'm not comfortable with that).
Your vote is let my ILs take him?
Yes. Let the ILs get him.
The carseat is not installed on top of that. Just tell her it's just too much to do at the last minute and that you will organize something with her and DS when she comes back. Something not rushed and last minute. I especially would not feel super comfy with the carseat situation.
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| Posted 10/8/08 5:20 PM |
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Elbee
Zanzibar
Member since 5/05 10767 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: UGH - WWYD (need quick answer please) Mom/MIL issue
I would call mom back and say "I am sorry if you think I was mad. I wasn't, I was just surprised you didn't want to take him." and then say that IL's are definitely taking him tomorrow and not to worry about it.........
I know with my mom, if I start it out with "I'm sorry if I sounded .... (fill in the blank) ..." and then explain my decision she takes it better.
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| Posted 10/8/08 5:21 PM |
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SuzyQ
Mama to 3!?!?!?
Member since 7/06 8069 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: UGH - WWYD (need quick answer please) Mom/MIL issue
Posted by Elbee
I would call mom back and say "I am sorry if you think I was mad. I wasn't, I was just surprised you didn't want to take him." and then say that IL's are definitely taking him tomorrow and not to worry about it.........
I know with my mom, if I start it out with "I'm sorry if I sounded .... (fill in the blank) ..." and then explain my decision she takes it better.
ITA. There are just too many reasons why the in-laws should take him. You can even tell her all of the reasons why it makes more sense. You may have to really put your foot down and insist (without getting nasty of course!) You know your mom best so you probably know the best way to approach it. I agree with Elbee's idea though. Good luck! 
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| Posted 10/8/08 5:31 PM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: UGH - WWYD (need quick answer please) Mom/MIL issue
Posted by SuzyQ
Posted by Elbee
I would call mom back and say "I am sorry if you think I was mad. I wasn't, I was just surprised you didn't want to take him." and then say that IL's are definitely taking him tomorrow and not to worry about it.........
I know with my mom, if I start it out with "I'm sorry if I sounded .... (fill in the blank) ..." and then explain my decision she takes it better.
ITA. There are just too many reasons why the in-laws should take him. You can even tell her all of the reasons why it makes more sense. You may have to really put your foot down and insist (without getting nasty of course!) You know your mom best so you probably know the best way to approach it. I agree with Elbee's idea though. Good luck!
I just feel guilty now b/c I'm the one who made her feel like she should be jumping at the chance to take him. I guess part of me is almost embarassed to have ILs know that my mom is OK with giving him up for the day (which she was until she heard they'd get him, not daycare).
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| Posted 10/8/08 5:34 PM |
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